I am so sorry for my absence. I ended up being in the hospital for 7 weeks. I am doing much better. I wrote up a good bit while I was in there, so weekly updates should be a thing for a while. :) I just have to get them typed because its all hand written in a notebook. Thanks for the reviews, you make this much more awesome.
I own none of the Attack on Titan characters.
This first bit should have been tacked onto chapter two but whatever. It was a last minute add. lol
Mention of rape, human trafficking, self harm, suicide, etc….
Armin followed Levi out of the room. Levi had his hands in his pocket, looking to the floor, waiting for questions that he did not want to answer; it would hurt too much to explain exactly why he needed to make sure Eren was ok.
"What was it you wanted to talk about?" Levi asked with a forcefulness that made Armin stutter.
"I… w-wanted to know why you're so interested in Eren," The blonde looked straight into the grey depths that would have made anyone else falter.
"Well first off, I saved him, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Secondly it's none of your buisness… He reminds me of someone I was very close to." Levi glared at Armin with his deep raven grey eyes.
"You aren't planning on playing with him, using him, and dumping him are you?"
"Fuck, no! I just want to be a friend. Help him through this. It seems that he could use a couple more. Sure wouldn't hurt."
"As long as you aren't going to take advantage of him. That's happened way too much. With his borderline personality disorder, he thinks the world of people and it's so hard for him to overcome it when he gets hurt. If you hurt him in any way, Mikasa and I will have to make sure you hurt as bad as he does." Armin sighed heavily. "Before you get too deep into a friendship with him, you need to know something."
"Know about his past you mean? I saw the PTSD in his chart along with his borderline. I didn't dig into his past though."
"Yes. His past is hard for anyone to hear, let alone for him to deal with. You need to know his triggers, what to do during a flash-back or a panic-attack while he is with you. He might get upset that I'm telling you, but the benefits outweigh the consequences. I'll mostly explain how to calm him down and how to keep him calm. The details will be kept to a minimum in case Eren wants to tell you himself someday."
Levi took his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms across his chest, as he leaned against the wall. "Okay, I'm listening."
As they talked, Levi was amazed at how much Eren had gone through at such a young age. Eren and Mikasa were kidnapped by human traffickers when they were 7. The traffickers killed Carla, their mom, in front of them, after Eren didn't know where the family safe was. After that they burned down the house.
The men were going to kill Mikasa for refusing to cooperate. So Eren made a deal with them, he would take everything. All the punishment, the abuse, the torture, and accept it willingly. So that Mikasa would be spared and left alone for the most part.
A couple months later, Eren had a chance to fight back. the ocean-eyed boy got a hold of a pocket knife, he managed to kill 3 of the the 4 men. This allowed Mikasa to escape and get help. The 4th man attempted to choke Eren to death, but he got free from the man's hold by using his Kendo skills. It was futile in the end as the large man snatched the pocket knife from Eren and stabbed him 4 times.
The police ran in and shot him at the last second. Eren was stabbed twice in his right arm, one of those in his hand, His hand suffered permanent damage, he had to learn to write left-handed and couple barely grasp things with his right. The other two hit his chest. One hitting a lung the other missing his heart by centimeters. He was lucky to be alive.
Mikasa said they did nothing to her, besides the verbal sexual harassment and rough handling when they needed to move her. Eren prayed this was true. She got out emaciated but otherwise okay. She had heard them talking about how it would be better to wait until she was older, that she was worth more money that way.
About three years later Eren started bouncing between moods several times a day. As the years went on he started having flashbacks. It isolated him at school. He never shared what his flashbacks were about, not even to Armin and Mikasa. They were sure he was raped a lot during the time in the warehouse. Eren did everything to protect Mikasa and she blamed herself for his problems.
Eren started self harming at age 16. Cutting, burning, skin scraping… His mood swings became more intense in severity and frequency. He started disassociating and having rage outbursts, nightmares and night terrors. He loved his friends one minute and the next would hate them for not responding to a text message fast enough. Soon he'd love them again because they gave him a compliment. For Eren, there was no like, no maybe, or middle ground. It was black and white, yes and no, his way or the highway. He was so determined to win everything and this led to many fist fights.
As he got older, he realized that his way of thinking was the odd one out. He tried to just agree with the majority and keep an open mind on him. But it was hard and stressful. He easily became obsessed with things to keep him occupied and away from others.
Depression set in when he was 18. His grades were good enough, but he hadn't found his calling yet. College was definitely on the no list.
Soon enough, the thought that his mother's death was his fault set in. He also decided that his father leaving when he was 3 also much have been his fault. After all, his mother was perfect in his eyes, so it couldn't have been anything she did.
Eren decided he wasn't deserving of the world. He attempted suicide again and again. So for none of the medications helped. They failed to find him any motivation. He couldn't hold down a job, he couldn't even care for himself very well. He needed reminders to eat, sleep, shower, etc. This is why he was on SSI since age 16. He had a long history of being mentally unstable.
This drowning was attempt number six. Mikasa and Armin were talking about having him committed.
"Wow, that's a lot to take in," Levi said almost breathlessly.
"Yeah, but we are all he has, and even though it's hard on us we need to be there for him. He protected me all my school life. We're doing everything we can for him…"
"I'll try to figure something out."
"Thanks Levi, any ideas are welcome. I'm going back to the room now, I want to see Eren before visiting hours are over." Armin turned and walked away. Levi offered a small wave before heading home for the night.
Levi and Eren sat in the small conference room. It was two weeks since Eren's attempt, and once he recovered, he was moved to the behavioral health center. Levi not only visited him as a friend, but he was also a doctor in the hospital. For both professional and personal reasons, Levi was not Eren's doctor, however he kept a close eye on the boy to make sure he was taken care of.
"How are you feeling today?" Levi asked with worried eyes. Through his feelings rarely showed on his face, those with the ability to read people know what the raven was feeling. People like Eren, and it was all due to his eyes.
"I don't know, they put me on a new med and while I don't feel like I want to die, I'm not really looking forward to anything either. I could stay here my whole life and I wouldn't give a fuck. Nor would I care if someone invited me to live in Japan with them."
"Be sure to tell Dr. Petra that. Having borderline personality disorder combined with post traumatic stress disorder makes it hard to get the right combinations of medication."
"Yea, I know. I've never had a successful combo myself…"
"Either way, no longer being suicidal is a good step in the right direction."
Eren rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Oi, brat! Armin told me you liked drawing…" Levi pulled a small box and art pad from his suitcase. "It's only charcoals and a kneaded eraser, along with an art pad. You must get them from the nurse's station when you want to use them and return them when you are done. The will keep hold of the sharpener, so if you need it, it will be used under supervision."
Like Eren could read Levi's emotions through his eyes, Levi could read Eren's in the same way Eren took the box of charcoal and opened it. His eyes glowed as he examined the box. It was a variety pack of different values of charcoal pencils and blocks. Even white ones, blending sticks, a kneaded eraser, along with a sketching pencil. There was an empty spot that must have been where the sharpener sat. It was perfect.
"Domo arigato, Levi!" Eren's eyes flashed with excitement and determination. Levi couldn't help but smirk at the the "numb" boy's happiness. He was obviously was feeling better than he let on.
At first, when Eren found out that Levi was a psychologist and worked at the same hospital that he was staying at, he was furious. He hadn't exactly forgiven the raven for rescuing him, yet within a few days he was thankful for his new friend. Even if he was short and intimidating.
Something within Eren, something that he couldn't name, fluttered through him whenever he visited or thought about Levi. It felt like a surge of energy that ran through him and tingled every part of his body. Not to mention, Eren had a good view of Levi's nice ass when he walked out of the room.
Levi had an attachment of sorts for Eren as well, but both of them kept their feelings inside and hidden, worried for rejection.
Levi looked at his watch, "Sorry brat, I've got work to do." He said as he stood up. Eren made the puppy face he was so good at, he wanted Levi to stay longer. Mikasa and Armin hadn't visited even once since the night after his attempt. Levi noticed this so he took a mental note to call them later and give them an ear full.
Eren stood up and hugged Levi. "Arigato for the gifts."
"You're welcome, snotty brat. Now let go; you know physical contact isn't allowed."
Eren released the raven from his arms and hugged his new art supplies instead, "Dewa mata?"
"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow." Levi left to go tend to his patients. It felt like yesterday when he pulled Eren from the river, but it was in fact 3 weeks ago. The ocean-blue-eyed boy had quite an impact on him. His mind wandered to the first night at the hospital when Eren woke up. Armin had told him so much about Eren. What to do, what not to do, what was ok to say and what would be a trigger. Levi was a psychologist so he knew a lot of the basics to help, but the raven was thankful that the blond told him about Eren. Especially about his love of art.
So I'm learning Japanese. If any of you know the language and notice a mistake, please let me know so I can fix it and learn more.
Domo Arigato: Thank you very much.
Arigato: Thank you.
Dewa Mata: Well, again? (Used to mean, see you later, or see you tomorrow, etc)