Scene: Tulsa office, Monica, Wendy & Joey are there
Wendy: so I suppose you're looking for Chandler
Monica: yep! So hand him over, you don't want to cross me when it comes to my man!
Joey: oh yea cat fight!
Wendy: well he's not here (Monica's phone starts ringing)
Monica: speak of the devil . . . hey Chandler . . . hold on one sec, (to Wendy) stop eyeballing me! Joey I'm going to take this in the corridor but watch her because we're not finished yet
Wendy: god you're so friendly I really see why Chandler loves you
(in the corridor)
Chandler: Mon honey where are you?
Monica: an even better question is where are you?
Chandler: I just asked you that!
Monica: well the balls in your court mister because I flew out here to find you and all I found was (high-pitched voice) 'Wendy'
Chandler: thats not how she talks
Monica: really because my ears bleed every time she opens her mouth!
Chandler: Mon I'm in New York
Monica: what? That's not part of the plan
Chandler: what plan?
Monica: operation save my marriage!
Chandler: honey our marriage doesn't need to be saved, I quit my job and came home . . . to spend Christmas with you
Monica: I flew to Tulsa to spend Christmas with you . . . and tell you to quit your job
Chandler: (sarcastic) you were going to give me an ultimatum!
Monica: way to wreck the moment honey
Chandler: look just come home now, I was planning on doing a cool sweep-you-off-your-feet moment when I got home
Monica: well you still can, we're going to head back to the airport & get the next flight home
Chandler: alright but don't take too long, cos I have to sweep a Geller off their feet tonight and if its not you then Ross will have to do
Ross: ew dude!
Monica: alright then, I'll call you when we have a flight booked
Chandler: I'll be here . . . waiting, I mean its not like I have a job to go to or anything, not laughing are you honey
Monica: no not really
Chandler: too soon for the unemployment jokes . . . ok well you better get used to them for when you come home, bye, love you
Ross: what was that?
Chandler: I don't follow
Ross: you didn't spell out the importance of her coming back. . . to make Christmas dinner
Rachel: hey I said I was going too!
Ross: my point exactly
Scene: Tulsa
Monica: alright Joey we're out of here, Chandler's at home & we're going to be too ASAP
Joey: yippee . . . listen Wendy it was nice to get to know you but I don't think we'd work, not after you kind of tried to break up my best friends
Wendy: I never said I wanted to get with you
Joey: your eyes don't lie
Monica: Joey sweetie go downstairs & get a cab I'll be down in a bit
Joey: you aren't going to have a cat fight are you because I don't really want to miss that
Monica: Joey cab now! (he leaves)
Wendy: why are you still here?
Monica: I'm going to go home to Chandler and I'm going to ask you the same question I'll be asking him . . . did anything happen between you two?
Wendy: would it change things for your marriage?
Monica: I don't know, it depends what 'it' is, if 'its' a coffee then no but if 'its' canoodling on the paper-copier then maybe . . . so what happened?
Wendy: we kissed but it wasn't going anywhere, he pushed me off immediately
Monica: really?
Wendy: listen lady I'm in no position to lie, I've just been promoted at the busiest time of year for us and I get to spend Christmas alone with a ham
Monica: well I appreciate your honesty . . . well I guess I'll go, I always pride myself on being polite and would say it was nice to meet you but it really really wasn't (she goes to leave)
Wendy: (quietly) don't worry he'll be back
Monica: what did you say?
Wendy: I said he'll be back, he realize he wants me, any woman who would let him go to another state and not follow him is crazy
Monica: I did that for stupid stupid reason . . . I only just realized that now . . . several months later
Wendy: (sarcastic) stop lady please already you've already sold yourself so well
Monica: look me letting Chandler go was a mistake and I regret it but it's in the past and there's nothing I can do about it now
Wendy: yeaaaa I still think he'll be back to me
Monica: alright you back off right now! (they start fighting & Joey runs in)
Joey: cat fight! Yeaaaaaah baby, I knew it was a good idea to wait outside eves-dropping
Scene: Monica & Chandler's apartment, Monica & Joey enter, Chandler's asleep on the couch
Joey: (looking at Chandler) aw look how cute he looks
Monica: Joe I think as his wife I'm the one that should be saying that
Chandler: (waking up) you guys made it! You know it might just be the best christmas present I've ever gotten
Joey: you're welcome dude
(Chandler & Monica hug)
Chandler: (whispering) you know I was talking about you right? (Monica nods) wait Monica is that a black eye?
Monica: maybe
Chandler: what happened?
Joey: Monica & that Wendy lady got in a cat fight over you
Chandler: no way
Joey: yeaaaaaah baby!
Chandler: and she punched you?
Monica: I didn't lose alright! But damnit she's got a mean left hook
Chandler: aw come here (they hug) well thanks for fighting for me . . . what did Wendy say exactly because I want you to know that NOTHING happened between us!
Monica: I trust you
Chandler: well you mustn't trust me too much if you had to fly to Tulsa
Joey: (to Chandler) maybe you didn't trust yourself enough with Wendy & thats why you had to fly here (Chandler glares at him) I'm going to leave, night guys
Chandler: its morning Joe
Joey: Christmas morning? (they nod) I've got presents to open (he runs out)
Monica: Chandler I did trust you
Chandler: really?
Monica: well almost . . .
Chandler: almost!
Monica: what!, look you would have been there lonely and she would have been your only source of comfort and after seeing her I almost wouldn't blame because she's not half bad
Chandler: (scared) so what did she tell you?
Monica: the truth, that she tried to kiss you but you refused
Chandler: yeaaaaaah baby (they kiss) there's only one person's lips I want planted on mine
Monica: so what was all this stuff about you wanting to 'sweep me off my feet'?
Chandler: oh well I couldn't find any mistletoe but this will do (picks something off the coffee table)
Monica: sweetie thats parsley
Chandler: (thinking) to show that I'm quite 'partial' to you, parsley – partial, ye geddit?
Monica: I missed your crappy puns! (they kiss)
well thats it, hope you enjoyed!