Chapter Three

Don't You Want Me Baby

Part I

We tried to talk it out. Karma didn't care about Liam. She didn't care that I had slept with him for revenge. All she cared about was us. Even after my confession and then hers, all she cared about was us!

Lauren made us her fancy nachos. She followed a lot of crazy people on Youtube who made these gourmet things like 8 layer nachos or volcano nachos with fresh 18 ingredient guacamole. It took her over an hour to invent something simple but I shut the hell up and I helped her grate all the cheese because she was my friend now and that was fucking obvious.

Plus, it was nice being with her that way. We laughed a little. When she smiled she was a whole different person. When she smiled I felt like an ass for all the times I had been a jerk to her.

Karma watched old episodes of Glee on netflix. She always did stuff like that when she was sad. I just watched her from the kitchen and felt horrible. I couldn't talk to her. I needed to avoid her. Lauren and I would yell at the screen every now and then though, we both felt the same way about Glee. We mostly loathed it. But I held my tongue through most of it because I knew Karma loved it and I didn't want to ruin her happy thing. We were both obviously fucking depressed.

"What's going on with you?" Lauren asked. We had gone to her room to find an old cd. I think it was an excuse though because Lauren brought it up and we hadn't been listening to music at all.

"I told her about Liam." I said.

"And she's still in there?!" Lauren was almost shocked.

"She doesn't care," I said, holding my arm. It was surprising to me too.

"What were you yelling about before?" Lauren wanted to know it all and since Shane wasn't there she was my next best option for damage control.

"I was trying to tell Karma that we should spend some time apart…"

"And she didn't leave." Lauren's face seemed almost blank.

"She cried."

"Shit."

"I know," I sighed, feeling miserable and sad and just so fucking horny and stupid for feeling horny. "She wants to hold me. She was touching me and watching me," I said.

"Ew." Lauren said shortly. "That's kinda gay… No offense." I watched Lauren's face go through all the emotions and settle definitively on pity.

"I know…" I sighed. It was my problem. Mixed signals were real. It hadn't all been in my head. The more I thought about it, and the more loving Karma reacted to me, the more I realized that I wasn't a complete space-case. I was seeing things that were actually fucking there.

"This isn't right…" Lauren said.

"Why do I want her so bad…"

"You're in love, dumbass."

"Yeah but.. How? I mean, if she doesn't love me back why the fuck would I still be into it."

"She's your best friend," Lauren explained. She seemed exacerbated with me. I somehow felt that I was the only one who couldn't understand the situation.

"Thanks for making us nachos," I said.

"It's fine.. I'm just worried."

"You don't have to be, I'm not dying," I said sorrowfully.

"Trials of the heart can be worse than death," she said flatly, grabbing onto my arms and almost jolting me to attention. "Sorry," she said, realizing what she had done.

"It's okay," I laughed.

"What are you guys doing?" Karma drifted sleepy into the space and draped herself sideways over Lauren's big lazy chair. Now that everything was out in the open it was almost like she had become even more sexy than she ever was before. I felt myself become defeated as I looked at her there in the chair. She winked at me sweetly.

"Fuck," I said.

"What?" She asked, growing serious. She obviously didn't realize how sexy she was almost constantly, especially with me.

"She's fucking attracted to you, dumbass," Lauren said angrily. She was addressing Karma and not me.

"Hey," Karma said, taking offense. She sat up in the chair and got up to walk over to me.

"She's sort of right," I said, holding onto my arm.

"You just drifted into this space like you were fucking Grace Kelly in High Society. Have some fucking consideration. She's practically jizzing in her pants. Look at her!" Lauren had an odd way of sticking up for me.

"I.. don't… do that," I laughed awkwardly. Karma looked over at me apologetically. She didn't know how to be and honestly neither did I.

"Yeah, no duh. You're not trans, you're just a lesbian."

"Iiiii yeeeeahhh…"

"Lauren, stop, you're making her uncomfortable," Karma said. She walked to my side and hugged me to her.

"I'M MAKING HER UNCOMFORTABLE?!" Lauren yelled.

"Oh boy," I sighed.

"THE GIRL JUST TOLD YOU SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU ARE STILL EYE-FUCKING HER AND BEING THIS AMAZING FUCKING PERSON WHO WANTS TO HOLD HER AND TOUCH HER EVERYWHERE AND GOD KARMA, THAT'S GAY!"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with that," Karma said. "Do you?" She turned to ask me, scanning my eyes and lips, and I felt like shrinking from the room but I was stuck there immobile.

"YES! SAY YES!" Lauren tried to order me.

"It's what I was trying to say before," I shrugged. I couldn't look at Karma, she obviously didn't get it. "I love you but it's hard."

"She loves you but you're gay for her without being gay for her," Lauren explained in more relatable terms.

"You are making no sense Miss Cooper."

"KARMA! I CARE ABOUT AMY!" Lauren stomped.

"She does," I agreed with a matter-of-fact smile.

"SHE CAN'T TAKE THIS! SHE'S NOT LIKE US! SHE'S WEAK!"

It was okay when I said it but when Lauren said it…

"Are you just going to let her talk about you like that?" Karma asked. "Sweetie, you're not weak." Uck, she was even calling me sweetie now.

"Karma…" I whined. Lauren wasn't wrong. She really wasn't.

"See!" Lauren said.

I didn't know what I was doing anymore. Lauren suddenly seemed more right than Karma did. I tried using words with Karma and it didn't work. Maybe Lauren's scare tactics would do the trick.

"Okay," Karma sighed. "I'll bite." She let go of me and allowed me to stand on my own. It felt lonely but a little less heated. "Are you trying to tell me that Amy is such a horny boy that she can't take me touching her?"

"YES! THANK GOD! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND!" Lauren walked out of the room and left us there. She just dropped a fucking bomb and said peace-out.

"Amy?"

"Huh?" I tried to play aloof.

"Is that true?" She knudged my shoulder cutely with her body.

"Karma… Don't… Please…" I wanted to cry. It was like she hadn't been hearing me at all.

"Is it…" She touched my arm with her hand and saw my body twitch. "It is," she seemed to realize.

"I want you," I said pitifully. "I'm gross."

"You're not gross," she whined.

"I'm a horny teenage boy. You're my catnip. I'm disgusting."

"Amy, no," she looked like she wanted to hug me and I backed away.

"This is why I said I needed space. You don't get it. You don't see."

"I see," she said, pulling me close to her anyway and wrapping me in a hug. I heard her smell me.

"You just fucking smelled me, Karma…"

"So?! I always smell you! You smell good!"

"KARMA!" WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER?!

"IF YOU TWO ARE TOUCHING I'M GOING TO GET MY RAPE TAZER!" Lauren called from the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," I whined.

"Stop being sorry," Karma said. "Here," she said, smiling. She looked down at my lips with her eyes and then leaned in close.

I didn't know what was happening but my lips fell into hers and I realized she was kissing me. My eyes drifted shut and I felt myself swimming in her pleasantly away from the world. Her mouth opened almost instantly and she was tasting me soft and special, kissing me so sweet. It was like the threesome only sweeter because she wasn't scared and she wanted to be doing it. There was no one here to watch. This was obviously for us.

"Uhhh," I whined, feeling breathless and falling into her.

"Mmmm," she hummed back. "We've been faking it so long, what's the hurt in a little play?"

I stood there stunned as she turned and slapped me hard on the ass, leaving me alone in Lauren's room.

This whole communication thing was only making everything worse. I fell down on Lauren's bed and hugged myself up to her over-sized stuffed dog.