...Holy shit. I'm flattered at how many people like this.

Thanks for all the reviews :D

-insertheartshere-

Only two entries. But it wouldn't flow as well if I put more. Sorry :C

March 17th

Just finished setting up fully for the party, and now I'm in my room again, because if I stay too long with everyone here, I'll catch some stupid.

Everyone's downstairs waiting for allll the guests to official start it, which is dumb as fuck since most of them are already here.

Why do people come so early anyways?

But Feliciano won't "start" the party till the bastard with the living eyebrows, the trigger happy sonofabitch (seriousley, why was he invited?), and the hamburger bastard show up.

I don't see why we need to wait for them, especially since the hamburger bastard because his brother's here, and even if he's part invisible he looks like him enough to count.

Plus it's only like 3 nations, so I don't see why we should be giving a fuck.

The food smells insanely good though, so I think I'll go raid the kitchen soon. I made a pyramid of tomatoes this morning, and it was hard as fuck with the tomato bastard breathing down my neck about how cute it was that I was doing that.

IT'S AN ART. IT'S NOT 'CUTE'.

Oh you know, the night before, I was asleep and he tried to crawl into bed with me again. I was totally going to wake up and beat the shit out of him, buuuuut I was way too tired. And he smelled kinda good. Wowwwwwwwwwwwww no, that wasn't it. I was just tired. Yeah.

Had to recharge for the dumbfuckery I'd be facing today, y'know

the pyramid is fucking amazing by the way. Obviously because I built it.

and

oh

holy crap

They turned on the music

WE'RE NATIONS

NOT FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS

SO WHY ARE THEY BLASTING THAT SPEARS CHICK OF AMERICA'S?

dammit Feliciano's coming up and I can hear him already calling my name

blehhhhhh

xx

THE FUCKERS

THEY RUIN EVERYTHING

MOTHER FUCKING

UGH

!

...I think that was that Japanese poem style shit thing. Hiku? Maiku? Haiku? Who the fuck knows

March 18th

Sorry, I was a tiny bit agitated yesterday so I couldn't write much

...I did not just apologize to a fucking diary

journal

ANYWAYS

run down of last night events:

-handful of bastards came late, but I made sure they'd never do that again

except for the trigger-happy one. he can do whatever he wants, as long as he's aiming at Feliciano and not me.

-shitty music was played, and tomato bastard tried to dance with me. I only let him for the good songs so that he wouldn't embarrass himself, and there were only like 5 of them

-Alcohol was brought out. Potato Bastard Squared brought their own beer too, so everyone would be even more trashed. The wino brought wine. And a bunch of other people got booze. I miss the parties where they'd get shit for the hosts

- Potato bastard #2 was the first to get piss-drunk. Denmark and Sir Eyebrows followed close behind.

-Then they danced. With each other. While taking their clothes off. Hungary filmed it. Best blackmail material ever.

ANYWAYS

France tried to get naked too but I told him I'd rip his dick off.

WHY DID EVERYONE LAUGH?

I WAS PRETTY FUCKING SERIOUS

Also:

some body replaced the pyramid of tomatoes that I so PAINSTAKINGLY built this morning with fucking hamburgers

I have a pretty good idea who it is, and I have a pretty good idea who I'm sending to that crazy knife chick, Belarus, tied up and naked and in a box labeled "To Russia, With Love"

That'll teach a fucker to mess with my tomatoes

Halfway through the party, I find Antonio getting some wine from the kitchen and tell him that now would be a good time to give me my birthday present before alcohol makes him even more stupid and he forgets

and if he took that phone call seriously , he can... wait.

HE'S MILDLY ATTRACTIVE OKAY

And he's like

"Alright" with a fucking huge grin on his face, gives me a stupid kiss and-

no I can't lie to you now that I have a lock for you, journal. We made out against the kitchen counter because he said it was again part of my 'present' and it was to 'make it even better'.

I can't believe I actually spent 5 minutes eating face with the tomato bastard

I had some wine already in me that's why I let him and my judgement was fucking impaired okay and he was just so amazed by my kissing abilities LIKE HE SHOULD BE

And I'm going to stab you through your fucking hardcover if you let anyone read you, because I might be sort of admitting that the God forsaken bastard was actually kinda turning me on

But then he was like

"ahaha, I remember a few days ago when you got shy over a peck on the cheek!"

KILLED THE MOOD AGAIN

so I slapped him, because he never gets it

and he grabs my arm and pulls me to the living room (Who the fuck man-handles people on their fucking birthdays? While giggling ?)

But when we get there, everyone's already made a circle in the living room

YOU KNOW WHY

DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHY, YOU FUCKING... JOURNAL.

...

POTATO BASTARD AND MY BROTHER ARE GETTING FUCKING MARRIED

EVERYONE WAS ALL EITHER CHEERING OR SAYING "FINALLY"

WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY MEAN "FINALLY?"

And I was all

"BUT YOU'RE ALREADY ENGAGED YOU DUMB SHIT(S)"

and they're like

"OH BUT NOW WE SET A DATE AND WE THOUGHT WE WOULD LET EVERYONE KNOW"

everyone got really happy at that point and there was more booze and all that shit and I was pretty pissed, then remember why I was in the stupid living room in the first place

So I ask Spain if I could have my present right now

and then Antonio's like

" I'll give you your present in a week or so"

WHY?

"Because it's proper etiquette. We have to wait a week or two."

ETIQUETTE FOR WHAT

THEY JUST ANNOUNCED THE DATE OF THEIR SURELY UNHOLY UNION

I DON'T SEE WHAT GETTING MY PRESENT THE SAME DAY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT

WE'RE TWINS ANYWAYS. THAT MEANS WE GET OUR SHIT ON THE SAME DAY.

Sweet Mother of Lord

So I flipped him off (right after that bastard had the audacity to kiss me again) and got shit drunk, and I have a killer hangover

It's all his fault. ALL his fault.

...I wonder what he got me. And why he has two wait two weeks now.

Unless he...

...

.

I can't think of anything

No lie, for a second I thought he'd propose to me again, but I think he's too fucking stupid to do anything like that and take it seriously. Plus if he were to do something (stupid) like that, he would have loved to do it right after Feli's announcement because it would be "oh so cute because you're twins~" (his hypothetical words not mine)

So what could it be? Maybe a new car? Yes? And he wanted to give the keys to me in front of everyone so they would know how much more awesome I am?

Speaking of awesome and engagements

I'm going to have a potato bastard for a brother in law. and the good for nothing albino freak is going to be...ugh...RELATED to me. What the fuck! When he found me, he was all

"Now you have to love my awesomeness!"

and chased me around the house with that infernal bird of his, trying to get me to call him "Big Brother" and "Mr. Awesome", while he was stark naked (someone always is at the parties)

what a fucker

I SEE NO AWESOMENESS

JUST DOUCHEBAGGERY

AND WHY DIDN'T ANTONIO COME HELP ME

NOT LIKE I WOULD NEED ANY BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE

I hate the potato family

I hate my brother

and I hate the tomato bastard for not giving me my fucking present

not like I'm going to make a big deal about it or anything, nor is it going to eat away at me or something, but Feliciano got his , so why can't I get mine?

...not in that way, you perverted book of papers.

I meant the gift.

I hate everyone. Sooo much

...yes I actually like Britney Spears a lot. Whatevarr

Also, I know how real haikus look like..don't worry ;p

reviews?