Hi guys, sorry for taking so long to update. I'm in the final semester of my undergrad and the work load is intense, but I'll be finished in less than 3 weeks and I really do want to finish this story as ideas for it are constantly on my mind. Hope you like the new version of Chapter 3. Thanks!

Song mentioned in this chapter is How to Save a Life - The Fray.

How to Save a Life

When she awoke, the sky had grown dark and made her surroundings almost indecipherable. The first thing she noticed was a heavy weight pressing down on her. At noticing the comforter across her body, she swiftly moved to detangle herself from it. She was instantly on edge as snippets of memory flooded back to her. She remembered very little of what had occurred prior to her panic attack, but she was creative and she could guess at it. She was deliberately slow as she moved out from beneath the covers. Once she stood beside the bed, she noticed that not only was she in an unfamiliar place, but she was clean, the smell of perfumed soap clinging to her skin, her hair was also braided and damp at the ends. She was also dressed in clothes she definitely didn't own.

Bella forced her breathing to remain calm despite the fact that internally she was screaming out her rage at everything that had occurred without her full consent. They had no right to help her in anyway, she didn't need or want their help. She took stock of the room as she stood, it was almost bare and a feeling of déjà vu surfaced. It was obvious she'd already assessed her surrounds, but had forgotten that she had done so. She was familiar with feeling this way, she had spent the better part of the last 10 months experiencing these feelings.

Her bare feet allowed the cold to spread through her as she headed toward the only exit within her line of sight. She fully expected the door to be locked as her shaking hands encased the handle. To her surprise, it swung open with little effort and she stepped out onto a landing. Light was coming from the other end of the hall. Despite her nerves, she moved toward the sight and as she got nearer the sound of voices reached her ears.

The voices were deliberately lower, but she caught enough words to know the voices discussed her. One voice hushed all the others and she knew then that they'd realised she'd moved. Her deliberately slow movements had got her this far undetected and she felt rather proud of that for a moment, before her heart sank. They knew she was coming, meaning she wouldn't able to get away from them. All she wanted was to distance herself from the Cullen's before they could inflict anymore hurt onto her. After all that had occurred in her life recently, she wasn't sure she could handle the blow. She paused where she stood, debating internally what to do next. Deep down, she recognised very little choice in regards to facing them, but if she was going to face them, the very least she would need was a cigarette. She hadn't drank or smoked since the previous night and her hands were shaking with want of those things, amongst others. She hadn't noticed her bag in the bedroom so it made sense that it would be where the Cullen's were. Despite her worries, she pulled herself up to full height and walked confidently towards where they waited.

Within only a few strides, she rounded the corner to find a spiral staircase. She hesitated at the top taking deep breaths to remain calm. Once she had descended the stairs, she found herself facing her past. They were all there, minus one. Alice sat in an armchair, her legs curled beneath her with Jasper perched on the arm. Carlisle was standing alongside Emmett, while Rosalie and Esme sat on a two seater across from her. They all turned their attention onto her and as they did, she became very glad to find him absent, she wasn't sure that her confidence would have lasted if he had been.

"How are you feeling darling?" Esme's sweet voice greeted her, the moment she had entered the room.

Bella scoffed at the term of endearment, before replying sharply.

"Like I've been drugged and kidnapped, you?"

Esme flinched noticeably and didn't speak again. In fact, they were all eerily quiet as she scanned the room until she found it. Her bag was sitting in an empty armchair, the twin of Alice's. She crossed the space and took her bag into her hands. After a moment of rummaging, she pulled out her packet of cigarettes and lighter. She didn't ask their permission if it was ok to smoke in their house, in truth she didn't give a shit if they cared. They'd brought her here, they'd made her who she was today.

Her hands shook noticeably as she placed the cigarette between her lips and lit up. The nicotine's effect on her blood eased the tension from her body. She sighed deeply at the feeling, it was such a pleasurable feeling after so many hours without it. The nicotine seeped into her blood stream and spread through her with each drag, enabling her to cope with the situation so much better than she could have without it. After a few moments, she looked over at the Cullen's to realise, they were looking at her as if what she was doing wasn't something completely ordinary.

"What?" she questioned, growing irritated by their stares, "I'm pretty sure most of you have had a cigarette at some stage in your life."

She knew that at least three of them had been young adults in the 1930's. Surely, they'd smoked at some point in their life time. Doctors even prescribed cigarettes back then. She really couldn't understand why her smoking brought about such reactions of surprise. Then she realised, they'd never seen her smoke before.

"I started about 8 months after you left," she explained then, smiling sarcastically, "helps with the stress that living brings."

"I'm sure it does," Esme spoke then, her words an obvious attempt to defuse the mounting tension within the room, "my doctor gave them to me when I was younger to help with stress. That was before they knew it could kill you though."

"Here's hoping," Bella replied, taking a long drag on her cigarette to emphasis her words. She knew her words were inflicting all kinds of hurt onto the other people around her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. After all the hurt she'd experienced in the last two years, him leaving, them leaving, and everything with Jake and her parents, she was becoming rather numb to the idea of pain. Drugs, drink and cigarettes guaranteed that much.

"So, why am I here?" She asked, once she realised that they weren't going to explain their actions without her prodding them to do so. They were silent for a few minutes longer than Bella could tolerate.

"Seriously?" she questioned, "you drug me and bring me here against my will, and all I get is silence?!"

"Of course not," was the only reply she received. Alice looked at her with such sadness in her eyes that Bella almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

"Oh hey bestie!" she exclaimed, feigning delight. Of all of them leaving, Alice's abandonment had hurt the most. Boyfriends leave all the time, best friends were supposed to stay with you for life. It didn't matter, she had new friends now, even if she couldn't see them anymore.

Alice ignored the comment intentionally aimed at hurting her and rose from where she sat. Jasper stood too, taking a protective stance beside Alice. Bella sniggered at the sight.

"What are you worried about? It's not like I'm going to try and eat her."

Jasper's guilt manifested visibly and she instantly regretted her words. She frowned at him and her expression softened.

"I'm sorry that was unkind even by my standards," she told him in way of apology.

Jasper nodded once, but didn't speak up. It made her almost regret her apology. She just wanted them to talk. To explain what she was doing here and why they thought it was acceptable to force her here against her will. It appeared that Alice knew exactly what she wanted from them as she was offered it only moments after thinking it.

"I'm sorry we brought you here," Alice explained then, taking steps away from Jasper and towards Bella. The room wasn't as large as their old lounge and her old friend reached her in just a few strides.

"Come upstairs and I'll explain everything," Alice offered, smiling sadly.

Bella's eyes narrowed in suspicion, she wasn't that naïve.

"No," she replied, staring down at the smaller woman, "You can explain here, now."

Alice looked dejected as if she hadn't seen that reply coming. She turned back to the others assembled behind her and must have whispered something below Bella's hearing since they began to vacate within moments of Alice turning back to face Bella. Once the family had dispersed, Alice led her over to the couch that Esme and Rosalie had just vacated. Alice sat, but Bella's suspicions didn't dissipate. Her trust had been severely shattered in the last couple of years, mainly down to her recent relationship. It was difficult to trust any gesture, any offer of kindness. She hovered by the side of the couch until Alice prompted her to sit.

"It's just a couch, Bella."

Bella sat after a moment, before taking a final drag of her cigarette and stubbing it out onto a coaster that was placed in perfect decorative order on the small coffee table within reach of her. Her deliberately destructive action made Alice frown. This wasn't the girl she remembered. The Bella she'd known was kind and respectful, but at the same time, she couldn't blame her for her actions.

"I am sorry that we brought you here," she said again, hoping to emphasis her apology. She was sorry that they'd brought Bella here against her will, but they just wanted to help her. They needed to help her, needed to fix what they had so carelessly broken.

"You said that," Bella commented, "explanation as to why is still required."

"We just want to help," was Alice's reply.

"You just want to help?" Bella repeated her expression portraying her feeling towards their help. She didn't need it or want it. The only thing she needed was to get away from them and get back to her life. She just wanted to be numb. She couldn't let them help her as their idea of help would take away the things she craved most in the world.

"I don't want your help," She told her, "I'm fine as I am."

"You're not fine, Bella," Alice quickly replied. She reached across the short distance between them in an attempt to offer her old friend some form of comfort. But before her finger tips could even skim her friend's hand, Bella had moved. She was up off the sofa and distancing herself as quickly as was possible for her. Alice knew not to touch her, she'd seen this reaction coming but hadn't been able to stop herself. Bella was just so broken, and all she wanted to do was make it all better.

"I will be, just as soon as I get out of here," Bella told her, beginning to pace. She could feel her hands trembling and tiny beads of sweat beginning to form across her brow. She'd never gone this long without some form of alcohol. The drugs Carlisle had given her earlier in the day had felt wonderful at the time, but they weren't what she was used too and her body was starting to hurt with the want of a fix.

"And the moment you leave here," Alice began, "You'll get high or drunk or both, right?"

Her expression was filled with sadness and disbelief. Bella looked anywhere but at Alice then. She couldn't handle the emotions she saw etched on her old friends face.

"So what if I do?" Bella retorted then, her irritation clear, "It's not like any of you care about what I do to myself, so don't pretend you give a shit because you feel guilty!"

Alice flinched and after a few seconds spoke, her voice full of emotion, "Of course we feel guilty, Bella, but that's not why we want to help you. We care about you a lot, you are my friend, my sis-"

Bella's laughter cut through Alice like a knife.

"Really? You're my friend?" She questioned, offended at the suggestion.

"OF course, Bella." Alice replied, preparing herself for the abuse she knew was coming her way.

"Where were you then?" Bella asked, "Where were you? Where have been for the last two years?!"

Alice sat stunned for a minute. Her silence causing Bella to answer her own question.

"You left me Alice, you and your family left me behind," she said, "so you don't get to act like you all care so much for my wellbeing."

The tears in her friends eyes brought about her friends reply, "we didn't chose to leave you, Edward thought – "

She instantly regretted the slip as she watched her friend fight herself internally, her hands shook and her heart-rate and breathing became erratic. The moment her brother's name had escaped her she knew this would happen but, of course, it had not been her intention.

"Carlisle," she called as she hurried to Bella. She had collapsed against the opposite armchair, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head bowed as she fought with herself for control over the panic attack.

Two panic attacks in the space of 24 hours was not a pleasant experience. Bella knew they would descend and witness her weakness first hand now. Getting control over her anxiety was something she had never really mastered, she had simply masked it with drugs and alcohol. She regretted taking the easy way out now. She felt cold hands against her knee caps and forced in deep lungfuls of air. It was tainted with the scent of them being so close. A scent so painfully familiar to his that it only aggravated her anxious state further. She kept her eyes firmly shut and fought against her panic.

It took a few tense minutes before she had successfully weathered the storm. Her eyes felt heavy and her hands were still shaking. However, that could have been a result of the beginnings of withdrawal as opposed to anxiety. She had presumed that she would be greeted by them all when she came through but she was wrong. Carlisle couched a few feet from her, studying her with a doctor's expression. She rolled her eyes at his expression but, she was incredibly grateful that he was alone. She couldn't handle Alice right now, or the rest of them. She just wanted to run, despite the fact that her legs would never have cooperated to that notion.

"Feeling better?" he questioned, continuing his study of her.

"Of course not," she replied, "I'm still here."

Carlisle nodded at her words, "and you believe leaving to obtain substances will make you feel better?"

She frowned, and replied, "duh."

Carlisle shook his head in disapproval before speaking. His words confused her and she didn't know how to process the sudden change in his attitude.

"Well if you truly believe that, you should be on your way."

"What?"

Carlisle rose as she frowned up at him. Were they just going to let her go that easily?

"I would prefer it, if you would stay just one more night though," he stated, "Esme has your clothes in the wash as we speak, you can have a meal and a good night's sleep, and then we can part ways knowing we have done all we can for you. Naturally, we won't interfere in your life again."

"And if I should leave now?" her eyes narrowed and she questioned, "will you follow me?"

"Of course," he replied as if this was obvious.

"But if I stay, one night, you'll let me leave? You won't try to stop me? Or follow me?"

Carlisle nodded simply, "that is correct."

She sighed and thought it over a few times. Both options had drawbacks, but staying was clearly the better of the two options, she decided. She remembered she had an mp3 player in her bag and a half full packet of cigarettes. She could survive a few more hours, and just ignore them all if it meant freedom from them for the rest of her life.

"Fine, I'll stay," she said unexpectedly. She reached behind her and grabbed her bag, from it she pulled her mp3 players and stuck the earbuds in, "but that doesn't mean I have to talk to you."

The smile on Carlisle's face was short-lived as Bella hit play and her music removed any opportunity for further conversation. He took her actions in the way she wished and left her to her own devices. He re-entered the kitchen where his family awaited him. They looked towards him expectantly, aware of his conversation with Bella and her last statement. He could hear her music as clearly from here as he could from beside her and he was aware that his family could too.

"She's going to stay then?" Esme questioned as he appeared in the kitchen.

He nodded, feeling guilt settle in his stomach. He had deceived her most terribly, but it was for her own benefit. Alice's eyes clouded over as the vision of what the next day would bring became known to her as well. Carlisle didn't need physic abilities, he had the medical knowledge to know what Alice saw.

"You lied to her," she stated quietly, as the vision left her.

"I did not lie, Alice, I agreed that she could leave," he explained, "I just did not explain to her that her withdrawal will make leaving very difficult for her. She needs help whether she will admit to it, or otherwise."

He hoped his family would understand why he had deceived her. They had caused Bella to become who she was and it was up to them to right that wrong. She would receive their help whether she wished for it or not and now all they had to do was ensure that she kept to her word and stayed one more night.

"She'll never forgive you," Alice spoke then, "you know that?"

Carlisle nodded and replied, "Better that than allow her to continue as she is."

Alice nodded once, and accepted Carlisle's decision. She did not agree with deceiving her old friend but if it meant that they could help then she could accept it. As she thought on their discussion, the final lyrics of Bella's music caught her attention.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness,
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.

It seemed no one but herself had heard it or bothered to listen, but those words cut through her deeply. She left her friend to deal with everything alone and the result was devastating, and now she would do whatever it took to save Bella from herself, even if it meant losing her trust forever. She felt Jasper's hand reach for hers and she looked up at him.

"I'm ok," she told him quietly, smiling slightly, "she'll be fine, I just know it."

He smiled gently back at her, he wasn't quite as certain but he would not dampen his wife's hope with his skepticism. They would just have to wait and see, and he hoped against hope that he would be proven wrong in this instant. He hoped that Bella would recover and be able to live happily again, but he knew first-hand the struggle she would go through. As if she could almost sense the direction of his thoughts, Alice wrapped her arms around him then and he returned the gesture, taking comfort from her proximity. He battled with himself every day in the hope of abstaining from the forbidden. He just hoped that Bella was stronger than he.