A/N: Hi everyone! Here comes this weekend´s dose of our medicine! Hope you enjoy, but some notes first:
- As always, thanks AB for your amazing and patient job of proofreading! It always turns out better because of this! And for your reviews too! Aaaand for even mentioning it in "As We Breath" (guys, go read this, seriously! It´s awesome Nygmobblepot material. And her other fic "Parade of Souls" is a Must too)
- To the guest who reviews called sydney: your last review put me to think about the "what if Jim/Bullock/Babs/Tab met Iris" scenarios so I´m working on some prompts in this to work out fine, so thank you
-To the new followers: even if u are shy or busy to review I´m glad this story enter and calm your hearts, that´s my true objective after all, not the number of reviews or recommendations in other sites or whatever. :)
And finally, some of you may have noticed that I changed the synopsis to something that explains better this fic´s universe. And soon Jim will appear in the story soon (probably in the chapter after the Xmas one -yes it will have a holidays special) so I changed the characters list too. PS: Again, the things I used here are real.
Now enjoy some nerdy and caring Ed ;)
Chapter 3: Daddy´s Turn
"Iris. Juliet. Cobblepot. Nygma." a strict-toned voice from someone clenching their teeth called her full name.
"What now, daddy?" Iris replied calmly. It had been a few weeks since the little girl´s adoption, and since the renovation of the chosen room for her, from where she answered. And thanks to Oswald, Iris could choose any template that made her heart happy, and for her it was a dark forest theme, like in a twisted fairy tale: all the wood and flowers that could be there, were, against midnight blue walls and dark purple long curtains, besides, all her favorite toys were exposed in shelves illuminated by green neon lights (and since Iris had taken a liking to creepy-looking dolls, it wasn´t making the room any less uncomfortable to whoever entered it). Oswald and Edward were already used to it and to her unusual(and as expensive as papa´s) tastes as well, so the former forensics worker went on to speak to their child:
"Don´t 'what now, daddy' me, missy! Haven´t you heard what the servants told me about your behavior last night?"
"No. What?" she put her pullip doll Midnight Velvet in a small wooden chair in front of a table set up for a tea party. With a real porcelain tea set. Her papa couldn´t say no to this request of hers after all.
"That you ran across the mansion scrawling the walls with crayons, and what is stranger, only with the black, the green, the blue and the purple ones!" he started the list.
"Because these are my favorite colors!" she defended.
"That´s not the point, missy. What else did they say? Oh, that´s right: you threw the dinner Olga made for you on the floor, ate a bunch of candy with soda instead, left your plush toys on the main room floor, you jumped on the velvet couch until you vomited on it, and I told Oswald this would happen if he left you play there and eat candy without supervision!" he shouted red with anger. He wasn´t even finished yet. "Also, you made Steve give you a piggyback ride through every part of this house, and Miranda told me that this time you brought home two cats, a raven, three squirrels and a deer! And none of this was a first time occurrence!"
"They are my friends!"
"They are wild animals! Os had told me that you attracted them. Look, Iris, I understand that you are a child and that you like them." Ed tried to speak in a more civilized way. According to the books, screaming wouldn´t make her understand what was wrong.
"Not as much as I like flowers!" she smiled as if nothing was happening.
"Yes. I can see this by the way you always leave the botanical section of my personal library turned upside down." he sighed, trying his best to remain patient. Why wasn´t Oswald there? "What I´m trying to say, my child, is that wild life can´t pass this mansion´s doors. They must stay outside. They are not pets. As for the other complaints, of course we don´t expect you to be a saint, but the servants are having a hard time, Iris. We won´t pay extra for them to take care of your mischief every time we go to work and they need to look after you. So, you need to play your part and take it easy." he sat by her side on the floor so the eye contact would be easier. "That nun said you were a mature girl, was it a mistake?"
"No! I´m a grown up girl, daddy!" she said surely.
"Then why did you freak out in the dentist´s office last week?" he teased.
"I didn´t!" Iris pouted.
"Oh yeah? Then kicking the table of instruments and running away screaming isn´t freaking out?" Ed had been angry at her when this happened, but talking about it made the story sound way funnier.
"That old man was going to pull out my teeth!" Iris explained with a mad tone.
"Only the decayed one, honeybee. And it was a milk-tooth anyway. Luckily we found you before you got into that cab. Honestly, Oswald is too mild with you for his own good. If it depended on him, you would have fled to anywhere in the city." the chief of staff patted her head. "Will you do better next time you are alone with the servants?"
"I´m gonna try." she crossed her arms in a sign of frustration. "Where´s papa?" Iris had noticed no sign of Oswald the whole day.
"He will spend the afternoon and maybe the evening working, my dear. Don´t forget he is the mayor." Nygma explained kindly.
"But why isn´t daddy with him then?" she stated puzzled.
"Because in the place he is now, I won´t be needed." he avoided details. There was no easy way to tell Iris that the business Oswald was attending that afternoon were the underworld ones, as the Penguin. For the 7 year old he was simply her beloved parent and mayor of Gotham. And this beloved parent had asked her other parent to spend the day with their child, since both of them were excused from the office for the day.
"I see." she answered unsure. "Can I go back to my tea party now?"
"Of course." he coughed. "Or we can, you know, use this opportunity to spend some quality time together." Ed suggested. For an authoritative parenting style, it was necessary to demand and to provide warmth by the same amounts, this included doing activities with the kid.
"Afternoon with daddy?" she thought for a few moments. "Okay!" Iris chirped. It was a rare chance after all. And she knew almost nothing about Edward, as he wasn´t the most talkative with her and most of the time she was with Cobblepot anyway.
"Excellent. Come downstairs once you finish putting your toys in place." he stood up.
"What?!"
"As I said, don´t make the servants work more than they need to. You can perfectly handle this by yourself, honeybee." and he left with this order, making clear the difference between him and Oswald.
Soon Iris arrived at the main room, wearing another of her weird choice of outfits: a light gray cotton dress paired up with black trousers, heavy boots, a deep blue cardigan and a dark gray wool scarf. Together it made many layers of clothing, but this battle was one that her parents weren´t fighting as long as it wasn´t for an official event.
"Hey, Iris, did you know that it takes an average of two weeks for a hummingbird to complete its migratory journey? And that in preparation for the journey, ruby-throated hummingbirds double their weight?" there it was. Ed making research on hummingbirds subject.
"No, daddy. I didn´t." she sighed. She surely wasn´t expecting that.
"Oswald doesn´t know a lot about penguins either. He should study more about the origins of his nickname." Ed commented. "Talking about origins, do you want to know about your previous surname´s one?"
"Do you mean, the one I had in the orphanage?"
"Exactly. Not long ago you were miss Kijek. The meaning is 'small stick' in Polish. Which makes sense if you ask me."
"Maybe one day I will be as tall as daddy. I eat my veggies when we play that game." she reminded him. The dice idea was working like magic since the first day.
"Perhaps. Your bone structure is pretty similar to mine after all. Just look at your shoulders and your cheekbones." Ed studied her. "Really fascinating. If I didn´t know better, even I would think that you are our biological child. Of course I´m joking because everyone knows how human reproduction works, and I assure you, it can´t happen in our case without help."
Such conversation was only making Iris´s head more confused since she knew nothing about biology or whatever he was talking about. "So… Daddy want to play something?" she cut in.
"Of course. Stimulating your mind at your current age is absolutely important to ensure you a brilliant academic future! So I thought that we could build something, like a 3D puzzle!" with a high enthusiasm, Ed put a box in front of Iris.
"What is this?" every minute it got more confusing.
"It´s almost like a normal puzzle, but the pieces are made of wood and we make a three-dimensional figure, something we can touch. In this case, a Saint Basil´s Cathedral model!" Ed knew how his own genius intellect craved challenges like that one.
"Okay… It can´t be that hard, right?" she laughed nervously.
Wrong.
The little one had literally no idea of what to do, so it was being a joyful activity basically for Ed only. Feeling bored and frustrated, she stood up from her seat without Nygma noticing (his interest firmly on the puzzle), went to where he was from behind, took his glasses and tried them on herself;
"GOSH, DADDY! HOW CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING WITH THOSE?!" her normally quiet voice went to such high-pitched tone that it startled him and made him drop the almost ready puzzle on the floor.
"Iris! What the hell was that?!"
"Sorry?" she offered.
"Can you at least give my glasses back?" he saw this as ANOTHER test of his patience and for his parental abilities. How had he not noticed her taking it from his face?
"Sure." Iris passed the glasses on to him. "So, what now?"
"Let´s go to the attic. I believe you will find the next part more interesting." Nygma was never more sure of how much difficulty he was going to face.
Much to little miss Cobblepot-Nygma´s bewilderment, there was a lab in the attic. A chemical lab.
"Wow! What´s all this stuff?" she was genuinely impressed.
"This, my child, is science! Just like old times when daddy worked at the forensics department of GCPD!"
"Where?" she looked baffled again.
"The police, honeybee."
"Daddy worked there?"
"In a certain way. How do you think I met your papa?" he chuckled remembering that day.
"I don´t know." Iris replied sincerely.
"Well, it´s a really long story, but it was at my work. He went there for a reason, I talked to him, a lot of things happened, and here we are." Ed smiled. "How about we study chemical kinetics? Like a chemical relaxation so we can neutralize some acids and bases!"
"How about this one?" she got a test tube marked with 'NaOH' on it.
"A strong base huh? The name is sodium hydroxide. It will fully dissociate in aqueous solution. In other words, put it in water. But before that, I would rather prepare the stopped-flow instruments first so we can use them to make a circular dichroism."
"I don´t get it, but fine!" she agreed.
"That´s my girl! Now get the acetic acid for daddy."
"Okay!" she said, having no idea of which one was the right tube. "Is this the right one?"She got one marked with 'HNO3'
"No, Iris, this is-"it was too late. She had already tripped and the content spilled on her leg. "Oh no… No! No! No! It was nitric acid! Aqua fortis! Highly corrosive and dangerous! Calm down, Ed! Don´t panic! It was totally dissociated already and she is wearing trousers, so no severe damages here. She just needs to change clothes and wash the area." he talked to himself. Oswald would literally kill him if Iris got a chemical burn. Or any other kind. Or simply any injury at all.
"Daddy, are you okay?" the ingenue girl looked concerned.
"Of course! And you will be okay in no time too, honeybee! Just go take a bath and change your clothes while daddy thinks of a less dangerous way of spending time with you." Ed was starting to feel woebegone with such a situation. Bonding with Iris was proving itself to be a real imbroglio, he thought sending her away.
Nygma and Oswald agreed on the parenting style in a general way despite the difference in how they handled Iris´s behaviors and habits sometimes. Cobblepot could be described as the 'fun parent', while Ed cared the most for the educational and the responsibilities part. For the couple this arrangement was working just fine, they complemented each other, and they loved the little orphan the same amount. Not that Ed could have guessed his life would turn out like that, he had never stopped to think about having a family, specially with another man, but there he was, it was pure fate. Still, he struggled to find a way to deepen his bond with Iris. Os made it looks so easy! She was definitely papa´s little Gothic princess; yes, she was kind of a weirdo for a kid; and she was a troublemaker when left home alone; but she was their daughter! Iris was without a doubt a lagniappe for them. And Edward Nygma was willing to take a parenting challenge to create some memories with her. Not without some riddles.
"You will always find me in the past. I can be created in the present, but the future can never taint me. What am I?" Nygma asked Iris when her lissome figure reappeared at the main room wearing an elaborated dark green dress.
"History." she answered quickly.
"Amazing. The first riddle I gave Oswald he couldn´t answer. I see you are a smart cookie." he nodded satisfied. "What is it that no man ever yet did see, which never was, but always is to be?"
"Tomorrow."
"It can be cracked, it can be made, it can be told, it can be played. What is it?"
"Jokes."
"Correct! What a glorious time to be alive! I have such intelligent and cute child!" a huge amount of satisfaction showed up in a proud smile.
"I´m happy if you are, daddy." she said unsure of how to react to his exaggerated demonstration of pride.
"By the way, how is your leg, sweetie?" he recomposed himself.
"Beats me." she answered pulling up her long skirt. The area where the acid spilled was a slight orange tone.
"It looks fine. This will heal soon. Papa doesn´t even need to know about this incident." he winked at her. "Now, want to have some fun in the kitchen?"
"I do! But Olga never lets me go there! She is a meanie!" Iris puffed her cheeks in anger.
"Normally, yes. But we can have the kitchen to ourselves today if her other option is having her work schedule rearranged to looking after you for the rest of the month. Alone." a mischievous grin played in his lips. Just an innocent old blackmail.
"Really?!" her ice blue eyes shone with the news.
"Just tell me what you want us to prepare." Ed had read in a list of parenting challenges an item saying to bring the kid to cook together, as this activity was good to make them learn responsibility, spend quality time with the parental figure and for them to bond while having fun in a safe environment.
"Can we bake something?" Iris suggested.
"Baking? Like, to make something sweet in the oven?" he took her in his arms and lifted her up.
"Yeah. Can it be cinnamon rolls?" she continued despite being a bit scared of the height she was in.
"Of course. Whatever you want. But any special reason, honeybee?" Nygma questioned while carrying her over for the kitchen.
"Not really." she lied.
Flashback:
Oswald and Iris were having a small tea party with her dolls. Playing with his hummingbird was a 'must have' for the mayor. But she hated anything fake, so she always made a point of serving real tea and snacks.
"So, which flavor did you choose today, hummingbird?" he asked while she poured the beverage in the porcelain cup.
"Cinnamon, papa. I just love the scent." she smiled.
"Oh, Iris… For a child´s play, your tea parties are quite sumptuous, aren´t they, my nestling?" Oswald giggled. "But I do agree. The cinnamon is a pretty redolent flavoring." he seemed lost in thoughts for some instants. "And it reminds me of your daddy too." he completed.
"Of daddy?"
"Yes. Because when I first met him he was the exact definition of an innocent cinnamon roll." Cobblepot smiled nostalgically. "I loved it about him. I still do, actually. He is perfect just the way he is, you know? It was a long way for us, but he will always be my cinnamon roll after all." he finished his explanation to a perplexed little girl.
End of flashback.
Iris had to stay away of the 'dangerous' tasks like using the knife to cut the walnuts and pecans, and like heating the oven, but she did her best to help gather and mix the ingredients and to punch down the dough like it said in the recipe (and it was her favorite part).
"Daddy, may I ask something?"
"Sure. Go ahead." Ed encouraged her without looking up from his task of cutting up the dough.
"What happened to papa´s parents?"
"Well..." he chewed the inside of his cheek. It wasn´t an easy talk. "They are in heaven, honeybee. Bad people made it happen to them."
"And what about yours?"
"I… Don´t know." he admitted. "You see, my dear, they weren´t like your papa and like me. They didn´t love me as much as we love you." he hated talking about this subject, but he couldn´t avoid her questions, she had the right to know about their backgrounds. "So… I left their house as soon as I could and I haven´t heard from them since then." Ed sighed sadly.
"Sorry that I asked, daddy..." Iris had no intention of making Ed feel like that.
"It´s fine, sweetie. I have Oswald and you. That´s what matters." he reassured her.
"Daddy, did you always like boys?"
"What?!" he was taken by surprise. This one was going to be even tougher to answer. "Well, aren´t you being a Bee Hummingbird today? They really are the world´s tiniest living bird." Ed joked. But soon he saw that she was waiting for an answer. "Honestly, no. Oswald was the first one."
"Then who daddy kissed before?" she continued.
"A… Girl." he chose carefully the words while buttering the bottom of a baking pan. "But it was a totally different time of my life. And this girl is in heaven too." he took the sugar.
"But daddy likes boys more then?"
"Iris. I don´t know, okay? Your papa was the only other person I fell in love with. I´m with him now and this won´t change. Ever." Ed wished for this conversation to be over as soon as possible, otherwise it would become too complicated for a child to understand.
"Will I kiss boys or girls when I grow up?" she looked worried.
"Hon, it really doesn´t matter. As long as it´s someone you really like. Someday this will happen and you will know. But no need to worry over it now. You are so young and so free, you have a whole life ahead. And we will always be here for you." he led the talk in the best way he could.
"Thanks, daddy."
And with this, the whole afternoon and part of the evening went on as they cooked and talked more about Ed´s life and Iris´s doubts.
"Iris, papa just called. He will be late today. The meeting is keeping him longer than he thought."Nygma told their daughter when it was already night time.
"It´s fine." she said with no trace of sadness.
"Really? Aren´t you missing him?"
"I am. But… Papa can stay out a tiny bit longer, daddy..." she got closer to Ed and hugged him tightly. "Just a tiiiiiiiny little bit."
It was definitely the most affectionate and cute thing he had ever seen.
"Actually, I think so too, hon." for the first time, he squeezed his daughter. "How about I make us some dinner? We can have the cinnamon rolls with papa when he arrives. Will you eat creamy potato and ham soup?"
"Only with grilled cheese." she whined.
"Of course." he smiled at her picking habit.
When Oswald arrived home, things were way quieter than he had expected. Especially after the servant´s reports on Iris. The mayor wasn´t sure that Ed could handle her without his help.
"Eddie? Hummingbird? Where are you?" Oswald called.
"Over here, papa! The dining room!" Iris answered.
"Oh my nestling! How I missed you!" he kissed her cheek. "Are you eating… Soup?" he looked at her as if he was seeing a ghost.
"As long as I gave her a sandwich too, she agreed on having the soup." Ed explained.
"Even so, you are quite the miracle worker." Oswald greeted Nygma kissing his lips. "Our chick is a picky eater after all."
"Not really. But how was the important meeting with you-know-who?"
"I will tell you later. First I want to take a bath and eat something myself. And put Iris to bed too. But what have the two loves of my life done all day?" he smiled lovingly at them. Oswald would never imagine having a moment like that one before.
"We took our time to discover things we like to do together. Like baking." Ed stated. "By the way, she wanted to make cinnamon rolls for you."
"Really?" Cobblepot gave Iris a knowing glance and a mischievous smile. He knew too well what this kid was thinking about. And it was too adorable to bear it without hugging her. "You really are my child, aren´t you?" he cuddled her fondly.
"Yup." she answered simply. "Oh, and papa, do you mind if daddy put me to bed today?"
"What?!" Oswald couldn´t hide his shock.
"Only today." she asked with puppy eyes.
"Fine. I can see you two had a meaningful day together." he sighed.
"We surely created a bond today, Os." Ed smiled.
And so, after some cinnamon rolls for dessert, and with Iris in her blue bird pj's, already all bathed and tucked in her nest, it was bedtime story time. Edward was reading to her a polish folktale called 'the good ferryman and the water nymphs'.
"...The next day, after the burial of the late king, the beautiful sea-maiden, the beloved of the Sun, went back to the sea, to float about in her silvery canoe, in the company of the rainbow fishes, and to rejoice in the sunbeams. But the good ferry-man and his wife lived happily ever after, as king and queen. And they gave a grand ball to the nobility and to the people... The Self-playing Guitar furnished the music, the wonderful purse scattered gold all the time, and the king entertained all the guests right royally." Ed read the last sentence of the book. "So, honeybee, do you get what is the moral of this story?"
"I know. That..." she yawned. "The ferryman´s good deeds had a reward at the end. And that the bad people who were mean to him got the bad ending." Iris could feel her eyes getting heavier and heavier.
"Yes. So always be a good girl, hon. And now have sweet dreams." he was about to leave.
"I love you, daddy." she whispered, closing her eyes.
"I love you too, honeybee." Ed caressed her hair before heading to the exit.
"What a nice change." Oswald commented to him in the hall.
"We can always learn, Os. And this kid has a lot to teach both of us. It was really an enlightening day." he kept walking.
"I know. Now for the adult´s topics, both meanings intended, you can go to our room first. I´ll catch up with you in a few minutes."
"Of course you will. The wife is the last one to go to bed, after all." Ed laughed at his expression. Definitely this day was a memorable one.