Disclaimer: I don't own Eclipse either. Stephanie Meyer does.
Eclipse
There is this weird non-existent love triangle.
Edward: I love you Bella.
Jacob: I love you Bella.
Bella: Like I said before, I choose Edward. But I also love Jacob.
She mulls over that for several hundred pages and most of the movie.
There is that vamp that wants revenge.
Victoria: Edward killed James. I kill Bella. Now for a pointlessly elaborate plan.
She builds a newborn army and there are killings.
It comes to a fight, which is not described.
Bella: It is so cold. And, just to remind everybody, I want to be a vampire.
Edward: Marry me first.
Bella: Ew…
Jacob: Snuggle with me to keep warm.
Victoria shows up and fights Edward.
Bella: I cut myself on purpose for some reason.
Victoria gets killed.
The Volturi show up, then leave.
Bella: Fine, I'll marry you Edward.
The End.
Word count (not bold): 140
Song describing Eclipse: actually, you know what, I don't know any songs about pointless love triangles that only exist to drag the series out further. Anybody want to help me with this? Message me with suggestions…
Breaking Dawn coming up next. I wonder if I should separate it into two parts like they did in the movie. Like previously stated in my other parody, the plot of part 2 was so unnecessary. Don't forget to review. XD