The Engineer expected the Sniper to tear him apart. Constrict him. At least fight him, in some sense. He forgot that he was dealing with what was mostly an animal. A very flighty animal. The Sniper gave both the Spy and him a warning hiss, then bolted further into the dark, damp basement. That powerful tail gave him quite a bit of speed. He pushed towards the front door, scratching and slamming following his escape.
The door to the intelligence room would hold him in place. Just long enough to—well, long enough to fix him. That was a better way to think of what the Engineer had to do. He signaled to the Spy, bobbing his right hand twice. "Stay put. If he tries to run again, stop him."
The Spy clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "Oh sure, laborer. Because I am known for my brute strength and my animal magnetism."
He could have pistol-whipped the Spy in the back of his head, but the Engineer had bigger fish to fry. Well, not exactly like that. Close enough. He stumbled into the pit, steadying himself as he slid down the muddy hill in the back of the intelligence chamber. Low lights and the exit sign lit the flooded compartments, computers running without purpose. The Engineer bolted towards the main entrance to the intelligence room. The Sniper must have heard him splashing about, but he was so focused on tearing through the wooden door that he didn't react.
The Engineer bounded around the corner towards the right of the room, throwing his back against a boarded up door. His breath caught in his throat. The Sniper's black and tan tail trailed half-way down the stair well, curling around itself in a nervous knot. He turned to face his executioner, an exasperated expression on his thin lips. Did he remember what a gun was? Did he know what the Engineer was going to do? Guilt snapped strings in the Engineer's heart. He felt his constitution melt into mush.
The Texan raised his shotgun. "You'll be okay. Trust me."
Maybe the Sniper would have given the Engineer the benefit of the doubt. The terrified, writhing snake that his friend had transformed into did not. He lunged down the stairs, the tail flinging him forward with a coiled spring. The sudden burst frightened the Engineer. He fired off two rounds. The first one completely missed the Sniper, rushing through the space where he had been just one moment ago. The second struck him in that beautifully patterned tail, about where his thighs used to be.
He didn't get a chance to fire a third shot.
There was an array of blistering pains blazing around his neck. The Engineer gagged, thrashing as best as he could. The Sniper had him by the throat, teeth clamping deeper into his arteries every time he moved. There was no way he could cry for help, no way to yell at the possessed animal at his jugular. He didn't realize that the Sniper's tail was around him until he tried to move his right arm. It was like being struck by lightning in a fleshed form. He attempted kicking, but his boots splashed worthlessly in the murky water, his knees locked in odd angles. More splatters echoed through the basement, but it didn't come from the Engineer. His body felt heavy, his lungs compressed and empty. The world went dark, black as his friend's cold, unmoving eyes.
The Sniper was slow to unhook his fangs from the Engineer's lifeless body. He reeled backwards, studying the corpse wrapped in his tail and slowly disappearing. It wasn't something he could eat. He wasn't hungry, anyway. There was a strange sensation in his brain, something like panic, but not as sharp. The animal part of him couldn't recognize it, so it tossed the feeling aside. The small flicker of humanity left in his brain knew it, a dull pain throbbing in his chest. Sorrow. Remorse. Regret. Having little control over his instincts and no way to express this sensation, the human surrendered to the animal's whims and turned away, trying once more to escape through the front door.
Then something stepped on his tail.
The serpent reeled around, trying to find the new intruder. There was nothing in the basement. He panicked again, slithering away from the spot where the unseen enemy touched him. There were dozens of senses to process outside of the vestigial human emotions. Dripping water. Flickering lights. A spicy musk. The human remembered that smell, but the animal did nothing outside of its terrified thrashing. There was a monster here.
And then sharpness!
A balisong pierced the snake's back, sliding easily through the extended vertebrae and into organs. The human remembered this feeling, the shadow's deception that routinely took his life. The serpent wheeled around, trying to see through damaged eyes. All they saw in the last few stills of life were leather shoes, immaculately tailored and trimmed. A voice mocked him as he writhed in pain, something exotic and nasal. "I've bought clothes made out of better skin than yours, filthy bushman."
The Spy smiled at the slain beast at his feet. He wondered if that creature even know who had finished him off. He popped a cigarette loose from his PDA, inhaling deeply. Oh, he'd earned this one. He smoked alone in the intelligence room, waiting for the short little Engineer to slosh back from his respawn point. Unfortunately for him, the human part of the Sniper's body was picked up before he returned to the place where he had died. However, it did leave that lovely tail and mutated parts after its salvaging. Perhaps he'd been too quick in dismissing making a belt out of that snake.
Awkward splashing and huffing echoed in the intelligence room. The Engineer gasped, clutching a hand over his lungs. "Did ya—oh, Lord almighty!"
"What do you zink? I have a pair of shoes zis could go with." The Spy picked up the end of the tail, giving it a little shake.
The Engineer didn't take the time to chastise the Spy. He bolted out of the intelligence chamber, eager to return his team's respawn point. The Spy followed him at a leisurely clip, chuckling as the Texan struggled to unlock the door. The Engineer bounded up wooden steps, almost crashing as he burst into the safe room on the second floor. He rolled the door up, his organs hammering every which way in his chest.
The sound that escaped his throat was a broken laugh, half a joyful cry and part raucous chuckling. The Sniper had ripped his boots off, his socks chucked across the room. He was studying his feet, looking them over with an awestruck expression. His toenails were clean, soft hair prickling out of his big toes. The skin on his heels was tough and cracked from years of abuse. He smiled, teeth pointed but normal.
"Never thought I'd miss 'em so much." The Sniper shook his head, laughing hard enough to hurt his stomach.
Screw the Spy's condescending glare. Screw dignity. The Engineer grabbed the Sniper around his shoulders, roaring with glee. He knocked the Australian's slouch hat aside, rubbing his knuckles against the squirming man's head. The Sniper fought back, but with a playful shout of his own. He was awkward on his legs, tripping over himself as he tried to tackle the Engineer. That drew another powerful round of laughter.
The Engineer pulled his goggles away from his face, his eyes small but bright. "Son, I don't know how yer gonna make it out the door like that."
"Just watch me." The Sniper pushed himself off the ground, walking with a leaned sway towards where he had tossed his boots. He picked up his socks and footwear, tucking the cotton garments into his soles. He wiggled his toes against the cool tile floor, grabbing his hat from the bench along the walls. "I'm goin' barefoot for the rest of the night!"
The Spy gritted his teeth, his smoking the only thing keeping him from pinching both of their heads off. "Fine. Get a plantar wart, why don't you? Sounds like fun, bushman."
"Now, Spy. Just keep calm. You wanted to come here, after all." The Engineered turned his attention back to the Sniper. "Think you can drive home? I know it's asking a lot right now, but—"
"But nothin'! Just watch me!" With grace rivaling any deer's, the Sniper stumbled over his ankles. He laughed, catching himself on his knees. The Engineer sighed. He pulled the Sniper upright again, helping him walk down the stairs. Well, maybe he could do it. He didn't need to have that much balance to operate that brick he called a home.
The drive back to the base was a little slow at first. The Sniper was a bit awkward with the accelerator for a while, but he settled into a steady clip. The Spy made for poor company on the drive back, but the Engineer couldn't blame him. After all, he ended up doing the Engineer's dirty work. That certainly wasn't fair.
When they arrived at the barracks, the Engineer had the Sniper pull off to the side of the garage. No way he was letting that lead foot try and park in there tonight. He dropped the Spy off beside the porch in the front of the base. No need to have him go through his dingy garage again. He hopped out of his truck, straightening his tie and huffing a discontented sigh.
The Engineer gave him a somber expression. "Thanks fer yer help, Spy."
The Spy rolled his eyes. "Let's not do zis again, laborer."
He had no idea how he was able to sleep that night. Every few minutes, the Engineer would wake up and look outside his window. He could easily see the garage and the back end of the van nestled next to it. He should have felt guilt, knowing why it wasn't tucked away, but a swell of relief kept his mind at ease. His internal alarm got him up early the next morning. It wasn't long before he was in the kitchen, fine-tuning an orange juice squeezer and making coffee. He might have been running on a serious high, but coffee didn't hurt, either.
It didn't take long for the Sniper to stumble into the kitchen as well. Bastard's blood was at least twenty-five percent coffee at any given time. They exchanged smiles, then split up breakfast duties. The whole base was going to be up in a little while, and it didn't hurt to have a few eggs scrambled and some bread toasted ahead of time.
"Morning."
Well, now. The Spy was up, too. The Engineer figured out of the three of them, he'd want to sleep in the longest. Not that the Sniper wasn't beat from what had happened to him, but he was a bit of a morning person. The Spy was like a cat, lounging about in the sun until the time came from him to clean his claws.
The Sniper was quick to greet him. He grabbed the Spy by his right hand, giving it a good shake. "Don't think I properly thanked ya last night, mate."
The Spy lifted an eyebrow. "Thanked me for…"
"Ya don't have to be hush-hush. Just Dell 'n me here." The Sniper beamed, his face rosy.
"If zis is a new game, I do not know ze rules. You will have to explain it to me." The Spy reached for his coffee cup, pouring himself some of the brew. It wasn't his favorite, but it was palatable.
The Engineer scratched the back of his head. "Ya know. Last night. When we went out to Sawmill?"
The Spy cocked his head to the side, like a confused dog. "Gentlemen, I do not know what either of you are talking about."
"Yesterday. We went to Sawmill to switch out floppy disks on a count of the Sniper's—" The Engineer stopped before he continued his first thought. Surely, the Spy would have remembered taking that floppy disk and killing the Sniper. Especially that last part. His brain snapped into place, realizing that the Spy wasn't having an acute case of amnesia.
He slammed his robotic fist into the countertops. "That cheaten' sonnova bitch!"
"Zink you can use zis, laborer?"
The Engineer's doppelganger gave his Spy a dark grin, eyeing the floppy disk in his fingers. "Disguise number eleven? You're gettin' greedy, Spy."
The enemy Spy smirked. "What can I say? I know what I like when I see it."
Author's Note:
That ending might have been a bit of an asspull, sure. But I think I tipped my hand on it early enough. The Spy did warn the Engineer, after all…Of course, it falls apart if you think the "You will respawn" screen is actually visible by the dead characters, but I think it makes for some dramatic fun.
Yeah. That's right. That's the ending. Ta-daa!
If you don't know what disguise number ten is, I think you need to go read Brisbane Roll. Just sayin'. Assuming you haven't rage quit at the ending, of course.
Some may say I should have written another chapter in Double Feature on Halloween. Maybe. Maybe. But you will have to tell me your opinion on that subject.