Chapter 3: Rivalry in Butei High
As Zhuge Liang tried to deflect all the bullets with his fan, Aria the grabbed her sword and prepared to charge at Zhuge Liang. However, he was able to deflect her attack with his fan.
"Calm down Holmes. The meaning of my statement earlier is that I can grant Kinji greater power." Said Zhuge Liang as Aria lowered her swords. Zhuge Liang also gave her a few spare magazines for her Colt M1911 handguns.
"So, you do not want Kinji?" replied Aria.
"Yes." Said Zhuge Liang as he cooled himself off with gentle movements to his fan. "Now if you'll excuse me, I shall take my leave." Replied Zhuge Liang as he headed for the library.
At the cafeteria, Guan Yu is sitting at a table having a bowl of ramen next to a male teacher. Just the sight of Guan Yu eating the ramen in a short amount of time made him feel nauseous.
"What is this guy made of? Just the way he eats make me feel nauseous…" said the teacher as the seat next to him was occupied by Liu Bei, whom was carrying a tray with a burger, fries with extra salt and a cup of coke.
"Talk about an unbalanced diet. Look at the unhealthy stuff he eats." Added the teacher.
"Hey you, sorry for interrupting but you with the ramen, can you sit somewhere else? Watching the way a pig desecrates a delicacy of Japan makes me lose my appetite. Isn't that right sir?" said Liu Bei.
"Why don't you go and sit somewhere else while you are at it? Someone who eats excessive fat, sugar and salt which is a blatant violation of the doctrine of healthy food served by school cafeterias shouldn't come here. Right sir?" replied Guan Yu as he gazed at the teacher in doubt.
"Don't you know that you can customize your burger to have whatever fillings you want? My burger here is a vegetarian burger with vegetables and a hash brown and I can scrape off the excess salt while drinking half of the contents of that cup. Right, sir?" added Liu Bei.
"Y-y-yeah, so…." Said the teacher.
"One of the most special features of ramen is the ratio of the 'chashu' meat that goes with the ramen. The ratio of fat to meat of the piece of meat makes the ramen a delicious treat for all to enjoy. Also, the broth and the noodles complement each other well, making a good noodle dish. To augment this good dish is the ample choices of broth ranging from miso to spicy. Think of how pasta would go well with a myriad of sauces such as Bolognese or a Pesto Basil sauce. Right sir?" said Guan Yu with his long culinary description.
"I couldn't care less anyway. I am not a noodle fan." Said the teacher.
"Don't put a dish that earned global fame at the same level with your dog food. The hamburger had a long line of history with German settlers that came to the United States. The Germans originated from Hamburg were aptly given that name so this is proper food, right sir?" added Liu Bei as the teacher was silenced by the historical description of the dish.
"That is true given the "Hamburger" name being derived from the town of Hamburg, but the original ramen noodles actually came from China back to you." Replied Guan Yu as the teacher remained speechless throughout the historical description. Coincidentally, Shirayuki and Jeanne D' Arc were watching the drama unfold between the two.
"What's with the long-winded history descriptions? Couldn't the two of you eat in peace?" asked the teacher.
"If you want to compare, let's see which dish tastes better. My vegetarian burger or your dog food, right sir?" said Liu Bei.
"Wh-what is this "Right sir" bit anyway?" said the teacher in shock.
"Fine, game on, right sir?" added Guan Yu.
"W-wait! This is absolutely not fine at all! Why am I supposed to taste test them?!" exclaimed the teacher in shock. Shirayuki and Jeanne just watched the drama go on for minutes.
"A fair and clean verdict could only be give by a complete stranger. Isn't that right sir?" said Liu Bei as he served his burger at the teacher.
"Please do so, sir." Said Guan Yu as he handed over his ramen to the teacher.
"What "sir"? You are speaking it like it's a nam-!" said the teacher as his speech was cut short by the duo stuffing his mouth with bits of ramen and vegetarian burger. Shirayuki and Jeanne were shocked at the spectacle that the two caused over food.
As recess is about to end, the bowls of the two students were emptied.
"So mine tastes better right sir? Sir? Sir?! SIR!" shouted Liu Bei in shock over the man collapsing.
"I can't believe that I met that douchebag in recess. I hope I don't meet him when I go to the hall for a lecture soon." said Guan Yu as the bell rang and he left the scene.
In the multipurpose hall, the teacher is lecturing about algebra and in secrecy, Guan Yu is playing his PSP due to excessive boredom.
"The Fire Wave just makes fighting against Chill penguin too easy." whispered Guan Yu as he kept playing his PSP in the hall, oblivious to the student behind him.
"So this is Clark Stiller. Looks like some chap from here. Normal rebellious type." Said Jeanne as she was writing down some notes.
"Hey you! Quit with the tapping and slapping of buttons with that PSP. I can't hear a thing! What equation is that about?! Which equation should be substituted?" said Liu Bei as he was writing.
"Sorry, it is substituting this equation with-." Said Guan Yu as he saw Liu Bei behind Misaki , which gave him a shock. He stood up to confront Liu Bei this time, at a really pissed off state. Both of them got off their seats and Jeanne could only watch helplessly at the spectacle.
"IT'S YOU AGAIN! What the fuck do you want?! Appearing in every single bloody place I go!" shouted Guan Yu in anger. Instead of focusing on the lecture, the students are focused on the drama that took place and even the sleepy students got up in shock just to watch the drama.
"That's my line, dummy! What, do you want to be friends or something? Wanna be friends or something huh?" said Liu Bei as he came a bit closer to Guan Yu's face.
"You idiot! For one second I thought someone behind me was making too much noise with his stationery! Get out! Get the hell out of here this instant!" said Guan Yu as he glared at Liu Bei only to be pushed back.
"Shut up! While I was too busy keeping up with the equations, I can't keep up with the lecture anymore! I can't understand a damn thing about it anymore! The only things left now is the unfinished equation!" exclaimed Liu Bei as he threw the pencils at Guan Yu.
"It's your own fault for not paying enough attention in class, you stupid or what? With that handsome face of yours, I don't mind doing a bit of body art!" said Guan Yu as he felled Jeanne to the floor with a single punch.
"I don't need the ramen boy telling me all that shit! I wonder how you got that long silky beard. Could you perhaps be using unused ramen broth to kill all the lice that goes to your beard?" exclaimed Liu Bei as Guan Yu got really angry and stepped on Jeanne, causing excruciating pain.
"Let's take it outside! Just what do you want me to offer to your grave?! French fries?! Vegetarian burgers?!" rebuked Guan Yu in anger. The heated argument angered some of the students in the hall.
"Hey! Can you just shut up?" said one of the students.
"People want to study here! If you wanna fight, then take it outside!" said another student. The mass noise from the students angered Liu Bei whom let go of Guan Yu.
"What's with you lot? Staying in a hellhole at a time like this. "You guys get back to class" or so said the silver haired girl." Exclaimed Liu Bei in discomfort as Jeanne stood in shock.
"I'm irritated here, come at me', so she said." Added Guan Yu in disapproval.
"What? Why me?!" exclaimed Jeanne.
"Let's get him!" said the other students. What followed next is a massive brawl between Guan Yu, Liu Bei and EVERYONE in the hall. The duo outclassed their attackers thanks to their pugilist skills, however Jeanne hid under a table because of the extreme fighting that took place.
Moments later, the noise was dispersed by Aria and Zhuge Liang thanks to a few gunshots from the two.
"Alright guys. Let's continue the lecture in silence." said Zhuge Liang, whom is carrying a Vector KRISS SMG.
"One more time a ruckus like this starts I'll pump all of you full of holes!" shouted Aria as she pointed Liu Bei's RSASS at his owner when she picked at Guan Yu's locker.
Soon Aria and Zhuge Liang sat between Liu Bei and Guan Yu to prevent any further disputes from occurring again. The lecture went on smoothly thanks to the efforts of Aria and Zhuge Liang.
After school, Guan Yu and Liu Bei were sent to detention under the strict supervision of Tsuzuri. She was a bit disappointed at them behaving like kids instead of behaving like soldiers. Fortunately for them, Zhuge Liang was taking care of their weapons.
"I am quite disappointed with you guys just now in the hall. I thought you were elite commandos. So much for being the "God of War" anyway, Guan Yu; you aren't even the "God of Morality"." Said Tsuzuri as she smoked a puff.
"Can't be helped boss. The Army-Navy rivalry has gone on for a long period of time." Said Guan Yu.
"I thought your mind is free-flowing but to let a tradition limit you? Pathetic, now finish your essays and I don't want the two of you to sneak out in my absence!" commanded Tsuzuri as she headed for the washroom.
As soon as Tsuzuri left the room, the duo conspired to get revenge on Tsuzuri.
"That senile hag is even worse than my mom, but man she's hot, especially in bed." said Liu Bei as he took out something from his bag. "I actually don't mind taking a peep." continued Liu Bei as he opened the contents of the box.
"What the hell is that?" said Guan Yu as he writes his essay.
"A Ziggy. This is a spider-like thing-a-ma-jig that allows me to scan for retinas and fingerprints, not to mention take a photo or two." Said Liu Bei as he took out a laptop and loaded the program for Ziggy. "I can't wait to peep on her 'melons' if you know what I mean." Said Liu Bei as he made a perverted face.
"Screw it. I don't wanna get involved in this. Let Tsuzuri catch you and I don't give a fuck." Commented Guan Yu as he shows disapproval of Liu Bei's perverted thoughts.
"Do you wanna get out of here?" said Liu Bei.
"I'm in, but only for this time." said Guan Yu.
As Guan Yu plots out a path for Ziggy and monitors every route of it with a camera on the laptop, Liu Bei gets the remote for Ziggy and prepares some rope for fast-roping down the window by tying a knot at the window bars. To make the escape easier, they carried their bags along.
"Time to give her a taste of her own medicine!" said Liu Bei as he moved the Ziggy to the washroom and it walked at the wall to give passers-by a false impression of a real spider at the wall. Once it entered the ladies' toilet, Guan Yu was awaiting the order to press the button to configure it to go to the plotted path near a hornet's nest. Zhuge Liang is already in the safehouse at that time, so their weapons are in safe hands.
Soon Ziggy then bypassed the stalls and approached the walls at the first stall only to find nothing. The second one has a girl taking a piss and Liu Bei then made the Ziggy have a view of the toilet stall of Jeanne in secret.
"Nothing special about that silver-haired girl, but man she's a knockout." Commented Liu Bei as Guan Yu scolded him for his lack of seriousness.
"We gotta startle her fast! One more perverted joke and I'll fast rope out of here leaving you on your own!" rebuffed Guan Yu.
"Fine!" said Liu Bei as he operated Ziggy to the stall Tsuzuri is in. As Liu Bei peeped at her "melons" via Ziggy and did a sexy whistle, Guan Yu facepalmed at the perverted attitude of his team mate.
"Hey Clark, zoom it in a little!" ordered Liu Bei as he secretly took a photo of Tsuzuri's "melons" with Ziggy's camera system.
"That's it! I'll leave you alone! I don't give a damn if she arrests you for sexual harassment!" said Guan Yu as he prepares to fast rope down the classroom. However, Liu Bei stopped him and gave him one last command to his teammate.
"I was just kidding okay? Now we start the scare!" said Liu Bei as Guan Yu prepared to press the auto button while Liu Bei maneuvered Ziggy to the door wall. As Tsuzuri panicked, Guan Yu pressed the button and Ziggy started following the plotted path set by the computer.
Taking advantage of the confusion, they fast roped out of the classroom and ran to the exit as quickly as possible. While Tsuzuri was wasting her ammunition on Ziggy's patterns which disoriented her, the duo headed for the nearest motorcycle stand and grabbed two Hawk Motorcycles, each for one person. Soon they sped off as Ziggy disoriented Tsuzuri and when Jeanne noticed Ziggy, she also tried to slash it with Durandal, but to no avail. Ziggy's movement pattern was just too tricky to decipher. Left with no alternative, Tsuzuri had to call in some serious help with Mutou.
"Mutou! Get after Clark Stiller and Ralf Johnson for me now! This has to be one of their shenanigans!" shouted Tsuzuri as she finally destroyed Ziggy as it was in a hallway. Jeanne also decided to assist Tsuzuri in finding the Liu-Guan duo.
"Reki, are you available for assistance?" requested Jeanne via radio.
"Yes." Said Reki.
"Listen, I need your help tracking down two students, one of them has a long beard while the other looks young and more adult-like. Can you do it?" said Jeanne.
"It will be done." said Reki as she prepared to use her Dragunov sniper rifle to hunt the Liu-Guan duo.
Meanwhile in the road, Liu Bei and Guan Yu were ecstatic that they escaped from detention.
"HAH! Those guys fell for the good ol' Ziggy! I owe you one for that Ralf. You really are a genius." Said Guan Yu .
"Yeah, let's talk more in the safehouse and-." Said Liu Bei as he noticed Mutou driving a Mitsubishi Lancer to capture the Liu-Guan duo.
"Dammit! Let's split up!" shouted Liu Bei as he headed for a junction. "We'll regroup at the diner next to the bridge." Said Liu Bei as Guan Yu turned left while Liu Bei kept going straight. Mutou went for Guan Yu first, allowing Liu Bei to get away.
As Guan Yu was riding his bike, he noticed the Lancer catching up to him. However, his bike had the advantage in sharp corners and he was able to swerve past Mutou. The chase raged on at junction after junction, where the motorcycle was able to out match the Lancer. The chase ended when Guan Yu and Mutou went to an empty truck and Guan Yu chose to go straight while Mutou tried to execute an aerial stunt with his car only to ram a tree for the trouble. This made the escape easy for Guan Yu, but Liu Bei wasn't so fortunate.
At a junction, Liu Bei was driving his bike to the diner near the bridge when Reki noticed the bike.
"I am a single bullet. It has no heart. Therefore, it does not think. It just flies straight towards its target." Said Reki as she fired a round from her Dragunov which deflated the tires of Liu Bei's bike, causing it to swerve and go careening out of control. Fortunately, Liu Bei leapt out of the bike, but he was captured by Aria and Kinji as he crashed at the area near Aria's dorm room.
Guan Yu was casually riding his bike to the diner but as soon as he reached for the diner, he was shocked to see Shirayuki and Jeanne waiting for him there.
"Alright alright I give up. Just don't use force, kay?" said Guan Yu as he came along quietly without any hostility. His hands are at a 'surrender' position and he was escorted by Jeanne and Shirayuki back to Butei High.
After a "private conversation" with Tsuzuri, the duo was sentenced to guarding the classroom to substitute the janitors for the night. This means that they have no sleep, which ticks them off.
However, Guan Yu took out a pocket chess set and entertained Liu Bei in the classroom by playing chess with him. As the duo was playing chess, they suddenly notice something go wrong.
"Hey! Since when do chess pieces emit a red light?" said Guan Yu as he saw the laser pointer point at a white pawn and into his hand.
"SNIPER!" shouted Guan Yu as the duo hid under the desk as the pocket chess set was demolished thanks to the unknown assassin. The duo could only look on at the situation helplessly as two more twintailed girls, each armed with a sword and a pair of Mac-10 SMGs entered their classroom and prepared to shoot them down.
"My name is Cao Cao. By the orders of IU, you shall not escape us!" said the first twintailed girl with red hair and a sword.
"My name is Mei Mei. Tonight is the time you will meet your DOOM!" said the second twintailed girl with blonde hair as she pointed the Mac-10s at Guan Yu and Liu Bei.
What are the motives of the three assassins and why are they after Guan Yu and Liu Bei? Find out in Chapter 4.
Note: the Guan-Liu duo indicates Liu Bei and Guan Yu. Also, the triplets are from the Light Novel, so I wanted to add a few characters from the Light Novels into this story.