Disclaimer: I OWN NUZING! NUZING!

Note: Unfortunately, I am no longer counting on lyrics of a song for the dialog and thoughts of my characters...mostly because I don't know any particular one for the following situation...

We Shoulda Picked Florida

Inuyasha was stirred awake by his cell phone ringing. "Eh?" He stared at the number, "Why in the hell is she calling me?" He picked up the phone.

"Yash..." whined the person on the other end, "We've got a major problem!"

Inuyasha's eyebrows scrunched, "Uh, I don't think so. Remember? There is no more 'we'. We were gonna go home pretend this never happened and then annul this stupid marriage, Kagome."

Inuyasha heard Kagome exhale before replying, "Yeah but that's not gonna work, we're-"

"What 'we're'? Like I said, there is no more 'we' or 'us'," he snapped, eager to get back to bed.

He imagined her rolling her eyes as she sighed again. "But apparently, there's an 'ours'."

"'Ours'?" Inuyasha repeated.

"As in this baby I'm carrying is 'ours'!" Kagome answered, "Or would you rather have me say 'is yours' because I really don't mind."

Inuyasha blinked for several moments. Then he began hyperventilating.

"Don't be a baby," Kagome snapped, probably already sensing what was to come, "Remember what you told me-"

"Shut up," Inuyasha cut her off, "You know what? Someone once told me what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. That was bullshit."

Kagome sighed, "So what do we do? Abort it?"

"No!" Inuyasha blurted out, "We can't!"

Kagome rolled her eyes, "Do we put it up for adoption?"

"Um..." Inuyasha couldn't believe how hesitant he was at that. Adoption was a wonderful option. The baby's out of their hair and they could move onto their own lives apart from each other. And no babies die! Yet...chances are knowing that he does have a child floating around in the world being raised by someone else brewed up feeling he didn't particularly like. That, and the probability of this coming back to haunt the both of them. Not to mention collide their lives together again...

Kagome sighed probably sensing his thoughts again. "At least now this stupid marriage is good for something."

"And what would that be?" Inuyasha snapped, irritated now by the uncomfortable thoughts floating in his mind.

"Making sure this child isn't born out of wedlock," Kagome sighed.

Inuyasha groaned, "Can I call my mom now?" He recalled, Don't call your mother 'cause now we're partners in crime. They were definitely partners but of a different kind.

Kagome sighed, "Actually no..."

Inuyasha just hung up on her. He fell back onto his bed. "I can't go back to sleep now. Dammit it all, we shoulda picked Florida. Stupid Miroku, 'the ladies, let us not forget the lovely Las Vegas ladies'. There are chicks in Florida and those ones are like hurricane-resistant. A stupid one night stand turned honeymoon wouldn't make any of them pregnant. I mean, Mickey freaking Mouse doesn't have these kinda problems with Minnie."

"That's because he uses protection," Shippo, his cousin, announced, walking down the hallway, "You know, you shouldn't talk to yourself, people will wonder."

Inuyasha growled, "Why am I even alive?"

...Across the hall...

Miroku awoke from another Sango-filled fantasy. That girl from Las Vegas was fiery but, hey, that was the way he liked them, even if they did try and steal his truck. He sighed contentedly. I wonder what she's doing now. Unfortunately, they had parted quite suddenly when the plane trip ended. She hadn't even said bye or anything. Just swore at him and dragged her cute friend towards their luggage. Even though they were legally married, she hadn't even managed a wave.

"If only I could hear her voice again," he mused, "Then maybe..." His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing off his cell. "Now which girl could it be this time? Let us pray it is not that Honolulu Stalker chick, Stacy or whatever." His eyes lit up as he recognized the number to be that of the girl he had just dreamt about. "Speak of an angel," he remarked before answering, "Hello, my lovely-"

"Don't 'hello my lovely' me! You stupid asshole," Sango snapped.

Miroku was taken aback. "Is that any way to talk to your husband?"

"Shut up!" she cried, "It's all your fault! My life is ruined and it's all your fault! What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas? Then what the hell is up with my situation? Is there a glitch or something? I just wanted to go home and forget about it. And forget about YOU! But now...with this...ARGH!"

"Sango, whatever is it that you're talking about?" Miroku asked, worried.

"I...AM...CARRYING...YOUR...DAMN...CHILD!" She snapped.

Miroku hung up instantly and threw the phone across the room. Never had something so horrifying happened outside of his nightmares. Sure, he asked her to bear his child but he meant sometime in the far future with lots of practice first. Not now. No way, he was so not ready to be a father. He was still young. He had years ahead of him. I mean, he lived with his friend and his friend's cousin in his friend's mom's house. This was not happening. This was just not happening. "There must be some mistake!"

His phone rang and he answered it, realizing his rudeness. Regaining his cool, he answered, "Sorry, my phone just cut off. My dear lady Sango, I'm sorry to say this but there must be some mistake. Are you sure that you're pregnant?"

"Yes, I'm sure," she hissed, "I've tried every brand of pregnancy test available in my area and they all said the same damn thing. What you think I wouldn't make sure?"

Miroku gulped, "Well then are you sure that it's my child?"

"I am not a whore, I do not sleep around," Sango snapped, "My last boyfriend, believe it or not, was over a year ago and there haven't been any guys in between."

"But there must be some mistake...I mean I was sure to...there's just no way that..." Miroku stumbled.

Sango sighed, "You know, I actually didn't plan to meet any boys in Vegas. So I didn't bring anything to protect myself with...so if the condom broke well then..."

"How...how..how can it just break?" Miroku snapped, "There's just no way. I am not ready to be father."

"Too bad, because I'm pregnant and you're the Daddy!" Sango hissed.

Miroku once again hung up the phone. This time he threw it out the window. "No, just like with Stacy, this is just gonna go away if I forget about her." He took a deep breath. "Sango who? No, I did not go anywhere for vacation this summer." He smiled, "There, problem solved." Miroku just tried to pretend the feeling overcoming his stomach was indigestion and not guilt over abandoning a pregnant lover...again... Maybe she'll be smart like the last one and abort it? He sighed again, "Inuyasha was right, we really shoulda picked Florida. Casinos or no casinos. I shoulda taken my chances with Cinderella."

Well, guess what? I wasn't lying. Heh, excited aren't we?

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Hmmm...I thought there were more...whatever!