Julo
So, I'm retired, right? And since I'm retired I really don't have a whole lot to do with my time. I just end up lookin' around the neighborhood a whole lot. So when I see Ms. Sidle sneaking around in her own back yard, I tend to get a little curious.
Sure, they have a high fence, but my deck lets me see over. The pricks that lived there before them threatened to sue me for watching them, but of course they wouldn't. They also threatened to build a higher ugly fence, but I had no problem with that, neither. Serves them right for not even coming to say hi unless it was to complain shit out of their mouths.
Well, little miss was home with her guy and in parked this other car I certainly had never seen before. I know this because the lady that stepped out of that thing was one blonde bombshell. While I was watching her, I heard the back door to the house open and close, which got my attention.
Ms. Sidle had stepped out of the house, so I thought maybe this blonde was the actual lady of the house, or maybe a scorned lover that didn't really need to see her man with our little miss.
She started creeping around the house and trying to peek in windows and such. She almost got caught a couple times, as I could tell with seeing both of them, inside and outside the house and whatnot. They had left the blinds open.
Hey, now, let me set something straight. I ain't no pervert or stalker. Okay?
I did find the situation pretty funny, though.
So then the blonde decides to go outside for some fresh air, and that left Ms. Sidle on the side of the fence without the gait. She knew she was in trouble, too, because she could see the door opening.
"Jump it!" I yelled over to her. She looked at me, but didn't have much time to think about me, and took my advice anyway. The blonde stepped out right and Ms. Sidle ca-blammed on the other side in a bush. Blondy saw me right away, as she heard me yell, but I don't think she heard the exact words.
So I waved to her and she gave me a 'What the hell is that weird ass old man doing' smile and high tailed it back inside.
As soon as she closed the door, I called back to little miss, "You're clear."
"Thanks."
She had such a husky little voice. I saw her slowly rise from the bush she had fallen in and pull some leaves and such out of her hair. She waved to me with a nice little 'I can't believe I just did that' smile.
"Why don't you come on over until blondy leaves?" I callled.
She turned back to the house and then shrugged, "Why not."
So I went to the front and let her in.
"Do you want anything to drink or something?" I asked her.
"No, but can I use your bathroom for a second?"
"Sure thing." I led her down the hall.
"Those sure were some acrobatics you pulled back there."
"Yeah, and I'm going to be feeling it tomorrow."
I winced and told her I'd get an icepack while she used the bathroom.
I met her in the living room, and sat so that we could see the progress over at her house. She had a couple little scrapes and put the icepack on her shoulder.
"So, what about that lady made you jump yourown fence. Or is it not your own fence?"
She smiled a little, "It's my fence-"
"But not your man?"
"It's my man-"
"Then what is all the hoopla about?"
I've met some pretty annoying people in my life, but none that I would jump the fence to not talk to for a minute.
She took a second and I could tell she was thinking about what to tell me.
"Her name is Catherine, and- Wait, have you ever met Dr. Grissom?"
"I'm assuming that's your hunk of junk?"
She smiled again, what a pretty smile. Lite up her whole damn face when she thought about that man of hers, "Yes, My hunk of junk. Well, we both work for the Crime Lab for LVPD. We're not cops, we're investigators."
"What a coincidence, I'm investigating you right now!" I joked with her. She gave me a more patient smile and I took it as no funny business about her job was 'funny'.
"Well, we work together and so does Catherine. We are all on an investigation team."
"Stop pussy-footing and get to it." It was coming around my nap time and I was getting just a little cranky.
"Gil is my boss. And this thing between us in not so kosher as we wish it would be."
I had to take a minute to digest this. So, our little miss was into the older guy huh? Wait, hold on, "How old is he?"
"About 48."
"And you?"
She bit her lip for a little bit and I raised an eyebrow.
"It's not that big of a difference."
I kept it raised.
"It's not polite to ask a woman her age."
I kept looking.
"Fine. 33."
I gave out a little whistle.
"Yeah, you whistle and he takes nine years."
"Whoa, there, nine years? Like human year? Are you sure you're not talkin' like dog years or something?"
"Oh, I'm absolutely positive. But that's the past. We're together now."
"Well, if I had a thing like you after me, I might give it nine seconds. I got a serious question for you now. Will thhis big blonde tell it the big man to get your man fired?"
"No, never. She would never do anything like that."
"Then why are you hiding it? You want to wait nine more years for everyone to know?"
She sat looking out the window. I could tell I hit a sore nerve.
"Sweetheart, everyday you don't tell your friends about the two of you shakin' together, the more they will feel betrayed by you when they find out. And they will find out unless this isn't a long term thing. But you guys have been here for a couple months and that seems like a long term thing, specially since you waited nine whole years. What's the worse thing that could happen? She'd get a little angry? Not talk to you for a month? And I know that some people like the whole sneaking around thing, but you don't think that's getting a little tough? What happens a year from now when you can't jump that fence no more?"
"It's not as easy as you say it is."
"Nothin's as easy as someone says it is. That's why there's a difference between those who say and those who do. I personally am a doer. Not like I'm bragging. If I was you, I'd just march right in there and kiss your man right in front of her. Shock her silly. It sounds a little bit funny, too, I might add."
We saw the front door open and the blonde stalling at the screen.
"Last chance, little miss."
She gave me her pea ice pack and got out that door. I saw her hustle over to her own and whipped that screen door open, and let me tell you, that blonde was shocked just by that.
Ms. Sidle stepped up and landed her lips smack on the Doc's. I could see the 'o' on blondy from my comfy little sheet. Ms. Sidle ended her little kiss and gave him one grand hug.
Blondy stepped out and gave them a wave and got in her car and sped out like a bat outta hell. Little miss knew I was still watching and stepped out of her house to give me a little curtsy on her lawn. I gave her two thumbs up and she went back inside where her man was holding the door open for her.
Yep, I certainly like her. And she left just in time for my nap.