Hidden From Sunlight
Chapter Three: Knucklehead
The way the sun filters through the windows, it feels like prison bars have been erected around the school.
And here he is, six years old and trapped in this room with twenty-nine other kids that want to take what's his.
Today, Naruto is the liar of their little subterfuge exercise.
"It's gone now." He grins, hands shoved into his pockets. Their shocked reactions only tug his smile wider.
"What, the item?"
"You know what it is?!"
"How'd you figure it out already?!"
They seemed mad at him, but that didn't faze him at all.
"Because!" Naruto points at the mean girl with violet hair. "She was the last one to speak to Iruka-sensei! The last person to speak to sensei has the item! It's always been that way!"
A chorus of boos and scoffs hummed around him.
Ami crossed her arms and glared. "Then what was it, exactly?"
"I can't say," This reignited the chorus of booing, but he pressed on. "No matter what I say, you'll lie anyways! All I know is it's gone now. 'Cuz... You hid it in your mouth!"
Amazed and aghast, their stares fell upon Ami like a shower of kunai.
"You ate it?!"
"No, I didn't!" She stamped her foot, her face darkened an ugly color. She found her cool and poised her hands on her hips. "Well, now we know what your role is. Everyone, don't listen him."
A long, dramatic sigh cut through the simmering contention. Shikamaru lolled his head to the side like this game was such a pain in his ass. Even now, his gaze seemed firmly fixated outside the window. "Do we really know what his role is? For the same reason we shouldn't listen to him, we shouldn't listen to you either, right?"
Naruto glared at Ami. He was enjoying this; everyone hearing him, believing him. He thought he could get them to eat out of the palm of his hand. No way he'd get to lie again any time soon. He'll have to up his game. So he shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. "I think we can all wait a couple hours for it to show up again."
The class groaned a resounding 'ewww'.
"Naruto, I'm not going to sift through the girls' toilet to confirm that." Iruka said from the sidelines, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"So dumb." A girl muttered.
"That was too gross."
They may be barred inside this room, but his indignation had no restraint. "Hey, you're not part of this game, Sensei!"
Iruka smirked, leaning his cheek against the flat of his knuckles.. "You don't know that."
A couple girls grabbed their heads as the unsurety mounted heavily onto their brains. The unending flow of questions was like gunk drying in the gears.
They'd been given no hints, clues, not even a riddle as to what the item could be. All they need to find was the guilty party. What was the right question to ask? How would they dwindle down the number of suspects? It could be anybody!
Naruto rocked on the balls of his feet, grinning in triumph. He felt like he was climbing through the sky. Their frustration, their confusion… They'll never figure him out!
"You have it."
Naruto crashed back down to earth to stare in disbelief at the tiny brunette pointing her finger at him.
He pointed at his own face, and she nodded.
She's talking to me.
"It's in your left pocket. Everytime you lie, you pocket your hands because you're trying to reassure yourself that it's still in your possession."
His hand fell at his side. How many words was that? No, that was like, what… Two, three full sentences? Naruto's heart hammered in his chest as he rolled the river stone around in his left hand. Oh yeah… Oh shoot! Naruto faced Iruka, silently pleading 'Is this it? Did I lose?'.
Iruka smiled a little sadly at him and nodded. "You have to come clean."
He clutched it in his fist, eyes glued to the ground.
Pulling it out, he uncurled his fist.
Then he clenched the stone and twisted towards the windows.
"Like I saaaaid: It's gone now!" He hurled it, breaking glass. He flinched at what he'd done.
Iruka shot up, red faced. "NARUTO! Go stand in the hall!"
Naruto rocked on the balls of his feet, pouting at the ground with his hands in his pockets.
Body language. It was a concept he was beginning to wrap his head around. Of course he always reacted to it himself. From a slit-eyed glare, to him trying to speak to someone who only granted him their profile before turning their back. But those were considered 'overt', weren't they?
Naruto pulled his hands from his pockets and laced his fingers behind his head.
If only he had a mirror. Maybe he could figure out the differences in how he held himself. What sort of messages has he been sending up until now?
And what sort of messages would he rather be sending from here on out?
Naruto started at the sound of the classroom door sliding open in its rails. It wasn't Iruka-sensei at all. It was Hyuuga Hanabi.
Naruto's fingers unhooked and his hands floated uselessly. When her eyes slid in his direction, he flailed before crossing his arms over his puffed out chest. "H,Hey, that was cool, right? I didn't surrender even though I got caught, haha!" He eyed her shiny dark hair, her composed gaze that bore right through him.
She turned away and his chest deflated.
"Sure, I guess. I don't surrender, either."
She walked away, and he didn't ask where she was going.
Once she was out of sight and he was alone in the hall, his grin shined at full strength.
He pumped his arm. "Yes!" She spoke to him again!
Naruto was ordered to stay after school.
He sat on his hands, leg bouncing with unspent energy and a lot of impatience.
The sliding door opened, and Iruka arrived carrying a large sheet of glass and a bundle of spindly wooden rods.
"You fix what you break, Naruto." He said.
Naruto lolled his head back, nearly rolling his eyes. "Got iiiit."
Naruto stood poised with one end of the glass in one hand when he noticed his sensei had taken a seat. "Aren't you gonna help me?!"
Iruka shook his head, smiling. "Nah. I believe in you."
Naruto blinked at him, processing that sequence of words so unknown to him. He broke out into a grin, completely forgetting this was his punishment. "Alright! Leave it to me!"
Naruto formed the seal with his hands. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"
In a poof white smoke, three tiny replicates of Naruto appeared, standing no taller than his ankle.
"Is that going to work?" Iruka said, eyeing the imperfect jutsu.
"Sure thing!" Naruto lifted the glass. "Hup!" But as soon as his clones formed a line to catch the other, they struggled. The glass wobbled. Naruto righted himself too far back, causing the glass to pull him forward. The corner poked a clone out of existence and the two remaining clones gasped.
One jutted a finger in his direction. "Hey, what's the big idea?!" He sound like mouse. If mice could talk, of course.
"It was an accident! Hold on, I'll make more!"
The smoke dissipated and out of it were six more clones, half the size of the first three. They began speaking over each other. They were unintelligible, screaming like squeaky seesaws and Naruto nudged the corner of the glass to pop them away.
His ears were ringing.
He looked at Iruka and he had the same bewildered expression.
That was dreadful.
Naruto glared at the glass five times his height, as if it were a sacred though painful task, one of many that would pave the road to his greatness.
Iruka believed in him.
He shouldn't rely on tricks.
Naruto bent into a crouch and forced the glass off the ground, sweat dotting his temple. And his hands.
He righted himself. Steadied. And wobbled.
Iruka shot up from his seat.
"Wait, I got it!"
In an a sudden effort to get the glass into the pane, Naruto overcompensated too far to the opposite side and it shattered.
Iruka palmed his face. "I'll go get another."
The sky had turned drunken shades of red and gold by the time Naruto made it home.
Laying in bed, he gazed at his ceiling. Some days his ceiling got watery and blurry when his chest was hurting and his head felt simultaneously stormy and vacant. But tonight wasn't like those other nights.
Somehow he came to realize that doing a bad thing made Sensei spend more time with him. In fact, he did the same bad thing twice making their time together longer than it would have been had he gotten right the first time.
His chest wasn't hurting, even despite the aggravation he had given his Sensei. No, his chest was warm and filling up by the second. Like the bathwater in his tub, but better.
Tomorrow, he would be even more annoying.
He's seven and a half now, and he doesn't know if this is what he wants.
Thoughts of cultivating a positive image, ambitions to sculpt others' perception had long since been forgotten once buried beneath a certain desire - a desire he easily chose to chase day after day because of the immediate gratification it provided.
What he wants beyond simple attention he doesn't know, but somehow he's obtained the reputation of a good-for-nothing troublemaker.
And he's just fine with that. Because it's better than being nothing at all.
He teases the girls. He picks fights with the boys. And he aggravates his Sensei.
The girls scream his name. The boys challenge him back. And Iruka-sensei spends time with him after school.
It's great!
At least, he thought it was great.
Until reality woke up him in the form of chalk striking his sleepy head.
It hurt like a hurled stone.
"Naruto, this is not the place to rest your head. Please show proper respect for others' time."
Rubbing his head, Naruto picked up on the sneers and giggles humming around him.
'Slacker', they said. 'Doof' was another. And following the way Sasuke's lips moved, who stood beside Iruka-sensei alongside Hanabi, 'Useless' just recently obtained unanimous appeal amongst their classmates.
The nickname 'Useless', not him. He wasn't useless.
Sasuke never said such things before his weeks long absence from class. No, he kept to himself before, but now he seemed like he carried a ten meter thick wall with him wherever he went, launching words like arrows whenever he felt like it.
Resigning his cheek to rest in his palm, Naruto forced himself to pay attention.
Seeing those two side by side was nothing new. He didn't see why he needed to tune in now.
Maybe if they showered more praise his way, he'd grow big and strong, too. That's a thing, right?
"Hanabi-sama, please explain how you made the right call in today's exercise."
"Thank you, Sensei." Hanabi bowed with the brief tilt of her head before stepping forward.
She was still the smallest girl in class, but everyone knew - he knew - that wasn't a problem for her at all. He was still the smallest boy in class... And he was the still the smallest boy in class.
The tension leaked from Naruto's body as she spoke. Guess Sensei woke me up at the right time. Though she had a taciturn way about her, her voice was just… cute. It was as if all that sternness just amplified her underlying sweetness.
He had no clue what she was talking about.
"Naruto." Iruka called.
"Mhh?" That got a laugh out of half of the room and Naruto lit up with a smirk. Chest fluttering at their approval, he knew he had to keep this going. More laughs. More attention.
"Naruto, you weren't paying attention again."
"Mzz mhh muh." His skin tingled when they laughed louder, his head soaring into the glow of the sun when Iruka palmed his face. He always got muscle spasms when he was exceptionally annoyed. Naruto was waiting. Waiting for the next part in their routine.
Except it never came. Iruka disregarded him and resumed the lecture, with nary another disruption from the class.
The class had long emptied, yet Naruto stayed behind.
Normally he was told to. That was part of their routine. He supposed he was waiting on Iruka to say his part. He could have forgotten.
Iruka had his focus glued to the folded cards on the podium, scribbling in one, closing it, then moving onto the next.
"Naruto," That startled him. "Come here."
Naruto rose up and descended down the stairs to stand before his Sensei.
"Here." Iruka handed him the card.
He's seen this once before. Opening it up, Naruto's heart sank with every line.
Taijutsu: 30th out 30 students. Overall: 90th out of 90 students.
Ninjutsu: 30th out of 30. Overall: 90th out of 90.
Individual: 30th out of 30. Overall: 90th out of 90.
Team: 9th out of 9 teams. Overall: 27th out of 27.
War Tactics: 30th out of 30. Overall: 90th out of 90.
"Doesn't feel good, does it?"
Naruto didn't say anything.
"I really think you can do better," Iruka paused, waiting. His normally exuberant brat of a pupil had been rendered mute. "You're not applying yourself. Why?"
Naruto wouldn't look at him. He offered the tiniest shrug, but Iruka didn't take that for an answer.
Naruto straightened up just a little, lifting his head to gaze out the window. The Hokage Monument was amazing even now, the sleepy sun drenching it in orange and long shadows.
"They say Hanabi and Sasuke are rivals."
Iruka observed his student for a beat, wondering where this was going. "Suppose that's accurate. They're both top of the class."
"Last year, I heard a kid say he peeked at Sasuke's report card, then he peeked at Hanabi's. Their cards were a mix of firsts and seconds."
Iruka crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, that's rivalry for you."
Naruto gazed at his report card, as if it had just revealed his entire future, as if it had just told him it would be short and it would be boring, and it would be so empty.
Even if he got better, there was no one to show.
Iruka wasn't sure what was his student's hang up, but from one orphan to another, he could take a few guesses.
So he walked over to one of the windows, the same one they had fixed together the year before, and he eyed the monument. There was still plenty of space on that golden rockface. He pushed the window pane outwards.
"Naruto, come over here," When he did, Iruka pointed at the windowsill. "Sit right there."
The blond child looked so confused but did as his Sensei instructed.
Iruka scooted back. Again. Once more.
He raised his arms and made a frame out of his hands, zooming in and out as if he were adjusting the focus.
"Man, really wish I had a camera so you could see."
"See what?"
"The possibilities." Iruka gestured beyond school grounds.
Naruto twisted around to look, then he looked at his Sensei, then back at the Hokage Monument.
He stared particularly at the Yondaime's likeness. He stared and stared. The more he stared, the more he seemed to drown. And yet, it wasn't heavy, and it wasn't suffocating. This feeling spilled from his heart, filled him with golden light and it carried him up.
"The village is my family, Naruto. It's yours, too."
The sun dipped below the horizon, and the monument ducked away into darkness, and so did the golden feeling lifting him up.
Naruto picked at his bare legs. He wouldn't turn around, for fear his Sensei would catch the look on his face. But he nodded anyways.
Because he and the village weren't family. They weren't even friends.
At least, not yet.