The Making of Men

PeePee wasn't doing so great. They had stopped the bleeding but he was so weak.

"Pee…. pee".

"Shhhh. You need to save your strength." Ash put another log in the fire. He was very worried about his friend.

Gandalf was puzzled by this place. He could sense magic in this world, but it wasn't the same as Middle Earth. He puffed on his pipe, then, he spoke. "Where are we Ash? Do you know?"

Ash had been through Viridian forest before, but it had been a while. "We need to go south to the next town. They have a hospital there where we can heal PeePee up."

Gandalf didn't much see the point in keeping the creature alive. It seemed like a waste of good meat.

"Gandalf" said Ash. "I'm so scared. If PeePee dies, then I don't know what I'll do. I'm a Pokemon master.. My dad was a pokemon master before me!" Then he started to cry.

Gandalf allowed it for a while, but then he stood up and said "Shut up you little bitch. It's an animal! You can just train another beast! Maybe a platypus or something!"

This made Ash very angry. Tears of rage streamed down his face. "How could you say that!? PeePee is my best friend! He's always been with me!"

"For fuck sakes…" Gandalf put his pipe to his mouth, but before he could draw smoke a blur grabbed his pipe and dashed into a bush.

"Wha?"

"Shhhh." Ashed put his finger to his lips.

Ash and Gandalf slowly crept up to the bush. Ash pulled a net out of his backpack. He whispered "Shake up the bush. I'll try to catch it with this net and try to put it in one of my pokespheres." Gandalf agreed. He awaited Ash's signal, and then started shaking the bush and making weird whooping noises that probably confused Ash more than the creature. Out popped a VagiSeal. Ash brought his net down over the creature.

"VAJAH!"

"Give me back my pipe you filthy creature" Gandalf snatched his pipe from the VajiSeal.

"Vajaaaah!"

"Well, we've captured it. Will it now bend to your will?"

"Not just yet." Ash pulled a pokesphere from his pocket. "We've got to catch it first."

Ash gently placed the pokesphere on the ground next to the creature. It expanded in a flash of light and then surrounded the pokemon, but then instantly broke into pieces.

"Darn. It's too strong to be captured and PeePee can't fight right now!"

"What do you mean fight?" Gandalf was puzzled.

"Usually how this works is, I make PeePee beat up on the wild pokemon, and then right before he beats it to death, I capture it in one of these pokespheres. After that it does whatever I tell it to do forever until it dies. Unfortunately, PeePee is in no condition to battle. Oh well, just let it go."

Gandalf hit VagiSeal in the face with his staff. "Now catch it Ash!"

"Right!" Ash gently placed another pokesphere on the ground next to the creature. This time, it sealed around VagiSeal.

"We did it! PeePee, did you hear that?! We have a new friend!" Ash ran over to PeePee and…

PeePee's body was being ripped apart by a bunch of wolves. Ash could see his intestines strewn out all over the ground. PeePee's head was being gnawed on by another wolf… "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO."

Ash started to charge the wolves, but Gandalf grabbed his shoulder before he could take another step forward. He planted his staff down and cast Firaga. One of the wolves was immediately obliterated. The other wolves saw this. They dropped PeePee's remains and bolted for the trees. Ash took one more glance at his friends remains, and then fainted.

"Brock and Misty. We're going to have to fight this thing." Misty pushed her body close to Brocks. "Do you think we can handle it?" Brock looked down at her. "I don't know. This thing is the result of men playing god. This thing has all the power of the legendary Mew, but with modification. It might even be stronger. Professor, what did you say the pokemon's name was again?

Oak frowned. "Donkey Kong."

The name sent shivers down the spines of everyone in the lab.

Oak grabbed one of the pokespheres from the table. "Brock. Misty. Come chose the Pokemon you will battle Donkey Kong with."

"But professor" interjected brock. "We already have pokemon!"

"Your pokemon are all weak faggots…"

Misty and Brock both Gasped.

"Ever since that day I found myself here in Pallet Town, I've been experimenting with a new type of pokemon. I took some of the more powerful pokemon, and turned them into androids that can transform into various vehicles. I call them, Transformermon."

"Professor! That's unethical!" The professors intern couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Oak grabbed him by the collar and threw him into a wall "Do you want the Communists to win? Do you think they would be ethical?! I'll die before I see Pallet town be ruled by communists! I'd sacrifice one thousand pokemon first. Better dead than red. "

There were three pokespheres and Brock wasn't sure which one to pick up. There was CharScream which could breath fire and turn into a jet. There was BlastBee, who could shoot powerful water cannons and transform into a sports car, and there was Venumus Prime, who had the power of plants, and could transform into an 18 wheeler. Misty picked up BlastBee, because she thought it had the cutest name. The professor picked up CharScream, because that was obviously the coolest one. Brock had secretly always wanted to be a trucker, so he picked Venumus Prime.

Oak gently placed his pokesphere on the ground. There was a flash, and then… There was CharScream. He was about 3ft high. Hot white fire blasted out of his mouth, It blow the door off its hinges. A shadow flung itself out of the way, dodging the door barely, and bounded backwards another 20 ft at an impossible speed. Donkey Kong was enormous. Brock calculated he must have been at least 11 ft tall.

The monster pounded his chest, bared his teeth, and emitted an impossibly loud screaming roar that was probably heard miles away.

"Gently place your pokespheres on the ground and try not to break they because they are expensive as shit!" Yelled Oak at Brock and Misty.

"Right!"

Two more tiny mechanical pokemon sprang into action. Venumus Prime whipped at Donkey Kong with his vines, but Donkey Kong dodged them easily. BlastBee launched a huge blast of water at Donkey Kong that was so powerful it took the trees with it. But It barely phased Donkey Kong, who dodged to the side like it was nothing.

"Good job guys, but it looks like he's ready to counter attack. Be on your guard!" Yelled Oak.

Will was cold and Hungry. He had no idea what to do or where to go. He had spent the night in an old ruin he found. He couldn't stop thinking about the events that had occurred yesterday. Will was only a teenager, and he had always tried to be smooth and suave in everything he did. Will knew the reality of things was that he always messed up somehow. Carl Winslow had done his best to raise him and his cousin Carlton to be men, but Will know that the sheltered life of Bell-air had not prepared him for life in the real world. He gazed out of the ruins. The sun was getting ready to come up. He didn't know where he was going, but he had seen enough of this place.

"WILL…"

Will bolted upright and looked around. No one was there. Will figured he was probably dehydrated. There was a lake nearby so he figured….

"WILL… CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

Will recognized that voice. It was Picard Xavier.

"What do you want? You gonna tell me I'm a failure just like everyone else? You gonna tell me how bad my music is again?".

"NO WILL. STOP BEING A CHILD. IT'S TIME TO PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS. COME BACK TO HOGWARTS AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE WAYS OF MANHOOD. I WILL GIVE YOU PURPOSE. I SENSE… SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOU. I SENCE THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF GREAT POWER."

"There's nothing there for me there old man. I don't belong anywhere."

"WILL, YOU CAN DO AS YOU PLEASE, BUT THERE IS AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHO REALLY WANTS YOU TO COME TO HOGWARTS."

Zelda….

Will got up, and for this first time he made a decision that he felt 100% confident about. He was going back to Hogwarts. He was gonna get him some of dat elf booty.