Starting Over

By RosexKnight

Snow coats Storybrooke in a blanket of white. But even though it's cold outside tempers are running high. On Christmas Eve, the family gathering does not go as planned.

Chapter Three ~ Snow

We may sit in our library, and yet be in all corners of the realm.

The words played through Belle's head every now and then as she turned the page of the book she was reading. It had been one of his favorite quotes. His own little way of messing with her when he found her reading instead of dusting or doing laundry or making tea. The Storybrooke library was much smaller, but she found comfort in that. It was almost…cozier.

Her dad had been right when she said she'd have volunteers at her disposal. There was only four of them including her, but it was more than enough to run the small library. She usually had time to take break and read, or go to Granny's. She and Ruby had become friends despite not knowing each other before. The place was beginning to feel a little more like home, so that was a start…

"You're not wearing the ribbon I gave you."

Gaston's voice took her by surprise, and she looked up from her book. He was right. She wasn't. "I'm using it as a bookmark. It's at home." She lied smoothly. She only really ever wore it if he wanted to take her on a date, which had been more often than she cared to admit she liked.

"Ah. Of course." It was obvious by his tone that he was displeased. He never really saw the appeal of books, but then again a knight didn't exactly have to. "Well, I've been sent to fetch you early by your father."

"What for?" She asked, disappointed that her time with her book had to be cut short. Then she realized that the volunteers of the Library were all getting ready to leave as well.

"It's Christmas Eve." He said, holding her coat out to her. "I understand it's a winter holiday in this realm. Meant to be celebrated with family and such."

"I see." She said, stringing her arms through the sleeves "I must have forgotten about the date…"

Gaston frowned, wrapping the coat around her, his arms coming with it in a tight embrace. "Have you been alright, my Beauty? You haven't been yourself lately."

"Of course." No.

The brunette couldn't put her fingers on it but nothing had felt right since the curse broke. She hadn't felt at home in her room despite her father buying her a new bed sheet set and curtains. The dates with Gaston were pleasant enough but there was always an unseen pressure as something invisible tugged her away. Whether Belle's logic told her she was home or not, she didn't feel it as she knew that she should.

"Come on." Gaston said, letting her go and lacing his fingers around hers. "I shall steal you away to Granny's. Hot cocoa is just what the lady needs on a white Christmas Eve."

Belle nodded, following him to the diner. It was quiet, and Ruby took great care in making sure Belle's hot beverage had extra marshmallows. She knew a girl in trouble when she saw one.

"What's going on?" Ruby asked, sliding to take Gaston's place in the booth as he excused himself for a moment. No doubt using the bathroom as an excuse to survey the area for a certain black Cadillac. "It's Christmas Eve, you're out with a gorgeous hunk, and you've barely cracked a smile all night. Even when I put extra marshmallows in your chocolate."

"I'm not happy."

The way she said it was quite frank, and the look of surprise on Ruby's face mirrored her own. She hadn't expected the confession to come so easily, and she decided to mask her surprise by nursing her cup once again.

"Well that certainly explains a lot." Ruby said, glancing back for Gaston, making sure he wasn't about to return. "Why aren't you happy? Does he not treat you right? You can tell Emma…"

"No no. Aside from being maybe a little possessive and a little shallow Gaston is fine. I don't know what it is. Nothing's felt…right since the curse broke. I don't feel at home where I should."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…in our world I went with a…man to be his caretaker in exchange for his help in saving our village. It took me away from my father and Gaston and everyone else. I hadn't seen my father in years and now I live with him. Gaston and I were betrothed and he's doing his best to make a fresh start but…"

"But you're not feeling it." Ruby concluded.

Belle took another sip of her cocoa, letting it warm her body. "I should though. The curse is broken. It brought me back home to my father and friends."

"Home is where the heart is, and if I were you I'd find it. After all, you're supposed to be home for Christmas." The back door opened, and Ruby stood, giving Belle a wink, "Just think about it."

Gaston took his seat again, and Belle rolled her eyes softly as his gaze lingered on Ruby. "Having girl talk?"

Belle gave a small smile, nodding. "As always."

He reached across the table, brushing his hand absently against Belle's cheek. "There my beauty's smile. I was hoping I'd see it this Christmas. Come, let's get you home before your father worries.

She nodded, giving a wave to Ruby as Gaston led her out of the diner and onto the streets of Storybrooke. Everything was covered in a thin layer of snow. The streets looked beautiful in their blanket of white, more flakes falling from the sky. Belle took a breath, watching it come out as they neared the flower shop. She needed to focus. Calm down. It was Christmas, and she needed to concentrate on being home. With her father and Gaston.

In their absence her father had prepared a modest Christmas dinner for the three of them. Soon their bellies were full and they were sitting by the fireplace, Belle watching the crackling of the flames as her father and Gaston talked of life and how bad the winter would be.

"Let's open a present each tonight." Her father suddenly said, exchanging a look with Gaston that Belle was too distracted to catch.

"Great idea, father." She said, moving to the tree to retrieve his present from her. A new watch. One that he put on the moment he opened it.

Her present from her father was a new book. One she was grateful for. Her collection was limited and though she had the library she missed having her personal collection in her room. Her father nodded to Gaston, who nodded back. He took Belle's hand and stood, pulling her up with him.

"Belle my beauty." Belle's body went cold. No. "I know it's been only a few short months since we started our new courtship." No no no. "But your father has given us his blessing…" He took a black box from his pocket, and knelt before her, opening it to reveal a diamond ring. "I cannot offer much, but you would honor me if you were to accept my hand in marriage."

No. You're not the one…

"Belle?" Her father's voice rang through her clustered mind. "Poor girl's speechless. Of course she accepts."

"No I don't."

The firmness in her voice surprised even her, and a silence draped over the room. She shook her head, her mind suddenly clearing. None of this was right.

"Belle?"

"I cannot accept your hand in marriage, Gaston." She said, more sure of herself now. "I don't love you."

"I don't understand. The dates…I thought things were going well."

You would. "No they…they weren't." She said. "I'm truly sorry but my…my heart belongs to another."

"Don't be foolish Belle." Moe said, now standing as well. She turned to her father, feeling the sadness and sorrow well up in her chest. "Don't tell me you've fallen for that beast."

"Yes father I've fallen for that man. He sent me away. It doesn't matter. But I can't marry Gaston when my heart still belongs to Rump-"

"Don't. If he sent you away then he doesn't want you, and you are free to marry Gaston."

"I am free to decide my own fate!" Belle snapped, "And I am not marrying a man I don't love!"

"Stop being so foolish, child!"

"I'm not a child!" Fists clenched at her sides. She couldn't breathe. She needed to get out. "I'm leaving!" She turned, grabbing her coat and starting to the door.

"Where are you going?!" Her father snapped, starting to follow her.

"Ruby's. And if you follow it won't make me come back any sooner."

"Belle, come. It's Christmas."

A pang of guilt ran through her as her as her hand fell on the doorknob. But she couldn't stay. If she would she'd explode. "Then merry Christmas."

She went out then, bitten immediately by the cold wind that stung her tear-stricken face more. In truth, Belle had no idea where she was going. Granny's was closed and she hated the thought of disturbing Ruby. For a moment, as she passed a pawn shop she stopped, entertaining the idea of going to him. Finding that fuchsia house and knocking on his door, begging him for a bed. But she pushed it out of her mind. He'd said himself he didn't want her services anymore. He'd pushed her away.

She was alone for now, and instead of going to Ruby's she started towards the Grocery store, where the only "Open" sign in town blinked.