Chapter 3
A/N: I don't own TFP or Mulan.
Jack stood next to a tree watching in boredom as Moonrose practiced being a guy.
"How about this?" she said. "Excuse me, where do I sign in? Ah, I see you have a sword, I have one too. They're very manly and tough." The sword slipped from her fumbling hand and fell to the ground. Looking up she saw Jack rolling around neighing in laughter. She took off one of her boots and threw it at him. "I'm working on it!" She sighed as she looked at the camp. "Who am I kidding? It's gonna take a miracle to get me in the army."
"DID I HEAR SOMEONE ASK FOR A MIRACLE?! LET ME HEAR YOU SAT YEA!" Smokescreen said as he used flames to enlarge his shadow.
"Ahhhh!" Moonrose screamed.
"Close enough," Smokescreen said.
Moonrose and Jack peaked out nervously from behind a rock.
"Get ready Moonrose, your salvation is at hand! I have been sent by those before who reside in the All Spark-!" Smokescreen broke off seeing Raf do a mocking shadow puppet of him. The small predacon quickly nudged him out of the way. "You stay, you work," he whispered handing the cricket a leaf. He stood back up. "So heed my word! 'Cause if the army finds out you're a girl; the penalty is death!"
"Who are you?" she asked.
"Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible Smokescreen!" he said stepping out. Moonrose's expectant smile fell, and she raised an eyebrow. Jack immediately began to stomp on top of the small predacon.
Moonrose pushed him off and looked at Smokescreen. "The All Spark sent a lizard to help me?" she asked poking him.
"Hey!" he said swatting her hand away. "Predacon, predacon; I ain't no little lizard."
"You're um…" she tried to put it.
"Intimidating? Awe inspiring?" he asked climbing onto a branch.
"Tiny," she said.
"I'm travel size!" he chirped. "If I was my real size your cow here would die of fright." He petted Jack's muzzle, and the horse snorted at him. "Down Besse." He turned back to her. "My powers are beyond your imagination! For example: my eyes can see straight through your armor."
Moonrose covered her chest and slapped him to the ground.
"That's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Take a note!" he told Raf. "Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow-!"
"Stop," Moonrose said placing her hand on his muzzle. "I'm sorry ok, but it's not polite to look in people's armor."
"If you want this to work you need to trust me," Smokescreen stated. "And no more slapping me. Let's get this show on the road!"
-.-
Moonrose peaked into camp from the main entrance, Smokescreen sitting in a secret compartment in her armor.
"Alright, head back, chest up, feet apart, and strut!" Smokescreen commanded.
Moonrose walked in getting a lot of weird looks. She began walking somewhat normally again. Going through a tent she saw men picking their noses and clipping their toenails. "This is disgusting," she whispered.
"Its men sweetheart, and you need to act just like them if you want to fit in," Smokescreen said.
"Look this tattoo will protect me from harm," one man told Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe. Moonrose joined them and looked at the predacon tattoo. The three other men smiled, and Wheeljack punched him.
The twins burst out laughing. "I hope you can get your money back!" Sideswipe hollered.
"I don't think I can do this," she told Smokescreen.
"It's all attitude be tough like this guy," Smokescreen said pointing at Wheeljack.
"What you lookin' at?!" he growled.
"Punch him, it's how men say hello," Smokescreen whispered.
Moonrose did just that, sending him flying into Bulkhead.
"Hey 'Jackie!" the big lug said hugging him.
"Now slap his aft, they like that," the small predacon whispered again and Moonrose listened.
"Ohh! I'm gonna hit you so hard it'll knock you into next year!" Wheeljack said grabbing the front of Moonrose's armor.
"'Jackie relax," Bulkhead said placing his hand on the other man's shoulder.
Wheeljack huffed. "You're not worth my time chicken boy."
"CHICKEN BOY! HOW ABOUT YOU SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU LIMP NOODLE!" Smokescreen shouted as Moonrose turned away.
Wheeljack grabbed her and moved to punch her, but she ducked out of the way, and he ended up punching Sideswipe. "Sorry 'Sides." Wheeljack saw Moonrose trying to crawl away and he grabbed her ankle. But Sunstreaker tackled him into Bulkhead and Sideswipe jumped into the brawl, as Moonrose began to run away.
"There he goes!" Sideswipe pointed as she ran into a tent. They came out the other side, and Moonrose peaked out behind them watching as they ran the food line. The rice spilled and all the men glared at her as she backed away.
Knockout walked into a tent ignoring the commotion.
"The Decepticons have struck: here, here, and here." Optimus pointed on a map, as his eighteen year-old son, wearing black armor with yellow stripes, sat across from him. "I'm going to take the troops up to the Andromidus Pass, and stop Megatron before he can destroy this village!"
"Excellent strategy sir!" Knockout said. "I love a good surprise." He looked and saw the two starting at him. "Sorry."
"Bumblebee, you will stay and train the new recruits, and when you're ready," Optimus said handing him two sword sheaths, "you will join us Captain."
"A promotion?" 'Bee asked looking shocked.
"Sir, this is an enormous responsibility Prime! Perhaps a soldier with more experience," Knockout suggested.
"Graduated school several years early, number one in his class military and academic, extensive knowledge of battle strategy and training techniques, and a member of the royal family. I believe he will do an excellent job."
"I will! I won't let you down! This is-I mean…yes sir," 'Bee said.
"Good, we'll toast the victory back home," Optimus said standing up. "I expect a full report in three weeks."
"And I won't leave anything out," Knockout said fallowing the Prime.
"Captain Bumblebee Prime," he said strapping the swords to his back in an X pattern. "Leader of Iacon's finest troops. No! The greatest troops of all time!" 'Bee grinned as he walked out to join his father, only to see a giant brawl in the camp. One man walked up and saluted them before falling over.
"Impressive," Knockout said sarcastically.
Optimus shook his head and walked to his horse. "Good luck son!" he called as he spurred the horse into a gallop; the rest of the mounted army fallowing.
"Good luck Dad," 'Bee said watching him.
"Day one," Knockout said, and 'Bee rolled his eyes.
"SOLDIERS!" he shouted and they all stopped staring at him.
"HE STARTED IT!" they all yelled backing up to reveal Moonrose curled up on the ground.
Bumblebee walked up and loomed over her. She looked and immediately stood at attention. "I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!" 'Bee growled in her face.
"Sorry," Moonrose said, before deepening her voice again. "I'm sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is when you get those manly urges." She gave him a gentle punch to the arm. "And you just need to kill something…"
"What's your name?" 'Bee demanded.
Moonrose bit her lip, she hadn't thought of that.
"Your commanding officer just asked you a question!" Knockout snapped.
"I have a name, and it's a boy's name," Moonrose said.
"How about Sideswipe," Smokescreen suggested.
"His name is Sideswipe," she whispered.
"I didn't ask for his name I asked for yours!" Bumblebee growled.
"Um…Achoo!" Smokescreen sneezed.
"Achoo," Moonrose said.
"Achoo?"
"Smokescreen," she growled at the small predacon.
"Smokescreen?!"
"No," she said.
"Then what is it?!" 'Bee said losing his patience.
"Jazz," she said. "My name is Jazz."
"Jazz," 'Bee said raising an eyebrow. "Let me see your enlistment notice." She handed him the notice, and he blinked in surprise. "Magnus? As in the Ultra Magnus?!"
"I didn't know Magnus had a son," Knockout said.
"He doesn't talk about me much," Moonrose supplied. "My twin sister is his pride and joy."
"I can see why that spitfire is his favorite," Knockout whispered to 'Bee, "this boy's a lunatic! You'd get along with her perfectly."
Bumblebee frowned slightly. "Alright everyone, thanks to your new friend Jazz you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice!" 'Bee commanded as the men shrank back. "Tomorrow, the real work begins."
As 'Bee walked away Wheeljack and the others began to make fighting motions at Moonrose.
-.-
Moonrose laid fast asleep in her tent, away from everyone else's tents. Smokescreen grabbed Raf, and twisting the poor cricket's wings, he made him into an alarm clock.
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty! Up! Up! Up!" Smokescreen said. Moonrose groaned and pulled the covers over her head. He grabbed her blanket and yanked it off of her. "Time to get ready!" He held out a bowl with two eggs and a strip of bacon making a smiley face over the rice.
"Am I late?" she asked.
"No time for talking," Smokescreen said shoving the food in her mouth. "It's your first day of training, listen to your teacher, be nice to the other kids; unless the other kids want to fight, then you need to kick the other kid's butt."
"What if I don't want to kick the other kid's butt?" she asked through a mouthful of food.
"No talking with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face!" Smokescreen said as Moonrose looked at him her cheeks wide with food. "I think my bunny slippers ran for cover. C'mon! Scare me girl!"
"Rwar!" she growled and he jumped back.
"Yea! That's my warrior! Get out there and make me proud!" Smokescreen said. Jack snorted sticking his head in the tent. "What do you mean the troops just left?"
"They what?!" she asked alarmed slipping her training clothes on and bolting out.
"Wait! You forgot your sword!" Smokescreen called, failing to get her attention. "My little baby's off to destroy people." Raf patted him as he looked like he was about to cry.
-.-
"Order! People order!" Knockout yelled trying to calm the rambunctious men.
"I'd like a hamburger!" one guy yelled.
"Sweet and sour chicken!" Bulkhead requested.
"Not funny," the red head growled as they all laughed at him.
"Looks like our new friend slept late," Sunstreaker pointed out as Moonrose ran up.
"Hello Jazz, you hungry?" Sideswipe asked.
"Yea, because I have a knuckle sandwich for you!" Wheeljack growled getting ready to punch her.
"SOLDIERS!" 'Bee called and they all stopped. The shirtless commander walked up and they all got in a straight line at attention. "You all will assemble swiftly a silently every morning. Anyone who doesn't answers to me." He grabbed a bow and arrow.
"Tough guy," Wheeljack said in sarcasm.
"Wheeljack," Bumblebee said loading the arrow.
Everyone else stepped back, and Wheeljack saw their commander aiming an arrow at him, but 'Bee turned and shot the arrow to the top of a large seemingly useless post in the middle of the camp.
"Thank you for volunteering, get the arrow," Bumblebee smirked.
"I'll get the stupid arrow, and I'll do it with my shirt on," he grumbled going up to the post.
"Wait," 'Bee said walking up with a box. Setting it down he pulled out two fifty pound weights tied to rope. "You're missing something." Grabbing Wheeljack's arm he tied one onto it. "This represents discipline." He tied the other one to his other arm. "And this represents strength. You need both to reach the arrow."
The twins chuckled as they watched Wheeljack struggle against the weight. Wheeljack began to try to climb up, but only slid back down. Same thing with the twins, Moonrose, Bulkhead, and everyone else who tried.
Bumblebee rubbed the back of his neck as he watched Moonrose walk back to her spot in line. "We have a long, long way to go," he sighed. He grabbed a dozen staffs and tossed them to the troops.
Wheeljack caught Moonrose's and used it to knock her off of her feet.
Let's get down to business
To defeat the 'Cons
'Bee held his staff out in front of him, before using it to toss two heavy jars in the air, smashing them, before they hit the ground. They all just stared wide eyed and slack jawed at the quick, precise, deadly, and graceful movements.
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
Sideswipe dropped a bug down the back of Moonrose's shirt and she began to spazz out, knocking down all the men around her with the staff.
You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Bumblebee leapt over the fallen men, her staff hit him in the gut, and he promptly ripped the staff out of her hands glaring down at her.
Mister, I'll make a man
Out of you!
They watched as 'Bee effortlessly shot three tomatoes out of the air into three targets along a tree with arrows. The rest tried and they couldn't even hit the tree.
Tranquil as a forest
But fire within
Smokescreen put the tomato on the end of Moonrose's arrow before she fired. Sensing someone next to her, she saw 'Bee giving her another glare.
Once you've found your center
You are sure to win
'Bee stood at the edge of a cliff, a bucket of water on his head, and a staff in hand. Some men threw rocks at him, and he blocked it all not even losing a drop of the water.
Moonrose stood there just struggling to keep the bucket on her head. Sideswipe and the guys began to throw their rocks at her, the bucket fell on her head, and she missed all but one rock, which 'Bee had to lean back to avoid being hit.
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
They stood in a river, watching as 'Bee shot a hand in and pulled out three fish. They all copied his move, either coming up unsuccessful or in Moonrose's case grabbing Wheeljack's foot, and dragging him under. She gave an embarrassed smile, placing his foot back in the water.
Somehow I'll make a man
Out of you!
Wheeljack and Bulkhead ran across a field that flaming arrows were being fired into, Bulkhead managed to avoid being hit while Wheeljack was struck in the butt.
I'm never gonna catch my breath
Say goodbye to those who knew me
He twins stood and tried to break a cinderblock with their faces only to knock themselves out.
Why were fools in school for cutting gym?
Moonrose was fighting one-on-one with Bumblebee, who was whooping her sorry butt. He got a good punch in, and knocked her into a tree. Smokescreen dripped water onto her from a wet towel.
This guy has them scared to death!
Hope he won't see right through me!
Bulkhead lead the group across raging ocean waters, trying not to fall off of the six-inch wide posts sticking out of the ocean. Bumblebee came up behind him and had to stop; as did everyone else.
Now I really wish I knew how to swim
They practiced firing the cannons, missing the practice dummy completely.
Be a man
We must be swift as the coursing river
Sunstreaker knocked the support out from under Moonrose's cannon, before it fell she grabbed it and it shot up, and onto Knockout's tent.
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Bumblebee watched from up on a hill as they looked up at the arrow before walking away to their tents.
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
Bumblebee lead the group along a mountain trail carrying at least a hundred pounds of rocks hanging from each side of their staffs.
Time is racing towards us
Until the 'Cons arrive
Knockout pointed Moonrose's struggling form out to 'Bee as she collapsed. Smokescreen tried to get her up, but hid when the commander arrived. She looked up nervously as he gave her another harsh glare as he picked up her load, and started jogging after the group.
Heed my every order
And you might survive
Moonrose walked back towards her tent, only to see Bumblebee walking towards her with a fully tacked and packed Jack.
You aren't suited for the rage of war
Pack up
Go home
You're through!
How could I make a man
Out of you?
He handed her the reigns and stalked off. As she walked away, she looked up at the arrow.
Be a an
We must be swift as a coursing river
Grabbing the weights she decided to give it one last go. She tried climbing only to fall on her butt again. She looked at the weights then the post when an idea came to her. Swinging the weights around the post, they wrapped around each other, and she pulled back.
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Everyone walked out of their tents to see her near the top. They gasped when she slipped, but she kept herself from falling more than an inch. She pulled up again, getting closer to the top.
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Bumblebee exited his tent only for an arrow to land at his feet, looking up he saw Moonrose sitting on the top of the post.
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
As training progressed they got better at the things they couldn't do before.
Be a man
We must be swift as a coursing river
They could hit the tomatoes and land them in the targets.
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Moonrose was now outrunning 'Bee with the weights.
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Moonrose and 'Bee sparred once again, and this time she landed a blow to his head that sent him stumbling back.
Bulkhead was now leaping across the posts in the water.
Wheeljack could now run across the flaming arrow field and not get hit.
The twins could effortlessly break the cinderblocks.
Moonrose was now catching baskets of fish.
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
'Bee tossed the staffs out and watched proudly as they performed the moves perfectly.