Author's note: Just an interlude. Back with more chapters soon.
Shego leaned back in the couch. She could hardly believe what she had just heard. Kim Possible pregnant? That was unexpected, to say the least.
She had been surprised when word got out that Kim was quitting, but figured it was just a snap decision, woke-up-on-the-wrong-side thing. But now? If Stoppable really had been injured, like the reports said those months ago… and if the rumour that Kim was pregnant was true…
The last two months had been quite calm for both Shego and Dr. Drakken. Drakken was sure that all of it was a ruse, to lull every villain out there into a false sense of security, and that as soon as they started working on new plans, Kim and the sidekick would show up, and no one would be prepared! But Drakken would be!
Shego had then remarked that even if this was a ruse, Drakken usually, at some level, prepared for the possibility of Team Possible interfering, and that didn't do them much good anyway. Drakken had frowned, and then turned the screw another turn, and had simply decided not to do anything until someone else had done anything first and lured Kim out of her fake retirement. He hadn't reflected on that if Kim was really retiring, this decision had just sent him into retirement. Typical of Drakken, Shego had thought, but then again, it meant that she could get some well earned rest and vacation from the usual scheming, planning and fighting.
But now…. Kim really was getting out of the business, wasn't she? Shego felt… somehow both happy and sad. Happy, because now, perhaps, they could finally launch some plans that actually did the job. Sure, Global Justice would probably step up, but they already handled a lot of other stuff, and maybe Drakken and herself could slip between the cracks of the massive bureaucracy.
On the other hand… Fighting Kim had always been one of the more interesting parts of the job. Sure, if not doing it meant that she and Drakken could take over the world, it was ok, but… Kim had always been a good adversary, one that she could actually respect. They were evenly matched, gave it all in every fight and on another level, it was fun to trade barbs now and then. Fighting some anonymous and humourless agent like Will Du would never hold a candle to fighting Kim, regardless of the level of skill..
Shego sighed, and held up her cup of coffee, in some sort of toast, before she took a last sip, and walked to the kitchen, where Drakken was preparing some sort of casserole. Ever since he had taken a break form the usual villainy, he had taken up cooking to calm his nerves. It had worked, and he was actually a good cook, but Shego always made sure that Drakken took the first bite of anything.
"Ladidida obey… ladadadidada today….", she heard him humming. She smiled a wicked grin. This could actually be quite fun.
"So, doc… how's the food coming along?"
"Well, Shego, I can safely say that adding shrimp to mother's recipe will make it THE BEST CASSEROLE THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!" He threw his hands up and smiled his usual claiming-victory-a-little-too-soon-smile. He had not lost a bit of his villainous flair, it had just transferred to more mundane subjects.
"Uh-huh. Listen…", Shego said, ready to start needling him, "have you ever thought about… you know… the sound of little feet scurrying across the floor, you know?"
"Well, actually, I have, Shego." This statement sent Shego raising her eyebrows. "But since you don't seem too keen on the idea, I gave it up."
Now Shego's eyes were wide as hubcaps. Drakken was…? Had he…? What?
"Wh- What are you talking about, doc? I've… I've never said anything about…", she trailed off. Drakken looked at her with an irritated frown.
"Shego, I seem to remember many occasions on which we could have easily defeated that infernal teen if you had only just let me use my scientific knowledge to the full extent, and let me-" Shego was catching on to where he was going and interrupted him.
"I'm not talking about clones, you big blue dolt! I'm talking about having kids!" Drakken froze. This was not a subject which came up… at all. Or, not often. There had been that one time…
"Ehh… Shego… This… isn't one of those… biological clock discussions again, is it?" Shego sighed, remembering a conversation that they had had when she came back to the lair drunk and a little depressed at losing yet again. She had shouted things that she did not want repeated about how she wasn't getting any younger and how most of her former classmates now had kids. Drakken hadn't looked at her the same for two weeks.
"No, Dr. D. I just… saw something on the TV, and it just got me thinking, that's all. So… have you ever thought about kids?" She leaned back against the fridge.
"Well… Not… Not right now, surely… It would take up too much time, and I'm not in the mood to even start dating anyone." Shego shuddered at the thought of Drakken dating. There was a thought that would keep her up, possibly laughing, all night.
"But, you know, when we've taken over the world, then? You know girls like guys with power…" Drakken eyed her suspiciously. Where was she going with this?
"Ehh… I've heard that as well…" He blushed a little, sending his skin tone closer to purple. "But, I mean… I… I'm sure that at some point… If I could find the right girl… And if mother approved… Then, I suppose I could consider it, sure."
Shego somehow wasn't surprised, but still. They'd never talked about this before.
"Why are you asking, anyway. You're not… contemplating anything are you? Because I have no room in the budget for pregnancy leave", Drakken ventured, and realized too late that it was a mistake when he saw Shego's angry face.
"First of all, we wouldn't even have room in the budget for that casserole if it wasn't for me stealing those rubies at the museum yesterday. Second, no, I'm not going to get a kid, are you kidding me? Third, if I was, you can bet your blue behind I would get leave!" She moved to exit the room. Somehow this conversation had slipped away from her.
"Hrrmpf! Why where you asking anyway?" Drakken asked, trying to focus on his food, reaching for a big bowl on the top shelf. Oh, his timing was perfect, Shego thought.
"Nothing. Just saw on TV that Kim Possible is pregnant." The crash of falling kitchenware could be heard throughout the mountain lair, along with Dr. Drakken Yell: "WHAT?! Shego, get back in here! Oh, I dropped the shrimp on the floor…"
In the timeshare lair, Professor Dementor was stretching out in his favourite chair after a gruelling day. He and his henchmen, well, mostly his henchmen, had spent the day unpacking the equipment that they had brought from their former lair. Dementor had gotten quite tired, watching the henchmen work and yelling at them when they made any mistake.
Ever since Kim Possible had quit, he had had Global Justice on him like chocolate on a black forest cake. Drakken and Killigan were both laying low, the Seniors were bouncing around south-east Asia on some cruise and Monkey Fist seemed to be biding his time as well. That meant that Dementor had become the focus of Global Justice's interest. It was, of course annoying, but it had been good to his ego to know that he was considered the greatest threat to the world. Plus, it meant that he wouldn't have to deal with Kim Possible and that goofy sidekick. Maybe it was a bit old-fashioned, he thought, but there was something more... professional in being thwarted by a large anti-crime organization instead of a teen with a website. When he saw the new concerning Kim's pregnancy, he raised an eyebrow.
"So… Kim Possible is expecting ein kind…", he mumbled, while his henchmen listened. "Vell, I hope that THE BABY VILL BE HEALTHY AND THAT THERE VILL BE NO PROBLEMS DURING THE PREGNANCY!"
He heard his henchmen snicker behind him.
"Vhy is there laughing? I strongly remember forbidding laughter that WASN'T MY OWN!" The henchmen quickly stopped and looked at each other. A struggle seemed to be going on, regarding who would answer the mad professor. Finally, one of them cleared his throat.
"Well, you know, boss… What you said… It was funny." Dementor's eyes narrowed.
"Funny how? Like ein verdammter CLOWN? DO I, THEY GREAT PROFESSOR DEMENTOR, SOMEHOW AMUSE YOU?!"
"No, boss, I mean… What you said… it was funny." The henchman was clearly getting nervous.
"What is so funny about WISHING A CHILD AND A NEW MOTHER WELL?" Dementor seemed angrier than usual.
"You know… ", The henchman stuttered… "You were sarcastic, right?"
"I do not use sarcasm vhen it comes to THE HEALTH OF UNBORN BABIES! DO YOU THINK I AM SOME KIND OF MONSTER?!"
"No, boss, no, I mean…no, boss, you're not a monster, we just…"
"JUST VHAT?!" The henchman sighed.
"You know… it sort of hard to know when you're being sarcastic when you yell like that." The henchmen cowered back a bit at the last comment.
"Vhat do you mean? I have spoken like this since I vas merely UNDERGRADUATE DEMENTOR! I HAVE NEVER HAD PROBLEMS EXPRESSING SARCASM OR IRONY BEFORE!"
"Vell, I mean well (sorry), it does take away a bit of the finer tone sarcasms…." The henchmen thought. Dementor seemed to consider the statement.
"Perhaps… but whether or not I am sarcastic, I do NOT VANT TO HEAR ANY LAUGHTER FROM YOU!" He looked back at the screen for a moment, as he thought about some moments in his life when people had reacted strangely to his statements, like the henchman had said. Perhaps the henchman was right. Ah, well, he was to set in his voice now anyway.
"I think it is time for you to get back to vork. And order some flowers for the Possible girl. No card. AND I AM NOT SARCASTIC VHEN I SAY SO!" At the very least, he was going to show a bit of common courtesy to an infuriating but respectable foe.
In a lair, somewhere in Scotland, Killigan poured himself a glass of Lagavulin single malt whisky. He sniffed it a little, and took a sip. What he had heard… It couldn't be true. It had to be fake, somehow. He drank the rest of his whisky and put the glass down. He had to investigate this further.
Somewhere, in Indonesia, a tea cup went flying, and hit the TV-set it had been aimed for. The thrower got up, walked around before he grabbed a table, seething with anger. His monkey minions kept to their corner as they usually did whenever their master displayed such a mood.
"Stoppable…" He said, with clenched teeth. He had to investigate this further.