Thank you for the great response, for the reviews and the follows - and welcome to those of you who have just stepped into the Cordelia verse.

I have added one more Beta-reader to this story and I'm thrilled about our work together. So let me introduce you to Claudia (claudiavonberckefeldt) on tumblr she is: yesilovetosing - go check her out :)

Claudia will help me out with something specific that I can't reveal just yet.

Here we go with chapter 3.

Chapter 3 - Realization

The first time Blaine woke up he registered three things. He was tired to the bones and sore in every muscle his body contained, as if he had been run over by a truck; Kurt was sound asleep in an armchair next to him - and something highly suspicious was going on with his private parts. But, he was too tired to check it out.

The second time he came around he looked into a pair of baby blue eyes, welling up by the sight of him. "Hey, baby," Kurt said and smiled bravely.

Dots tried to reach each other in Blaine's head, but he only caught bits and pieces of what had happened. He reached out and dried Kurt's tears away with his thumb. "Why are you crying?" he asked with a raspy unfamiliar voice.

Kurt took his hand and kissed each knuckle. "I just love you so unbelievably much and you scared the shit out of me yesterday. That's all."

Kurt gave him a glass of ice water with a straw in it and Blaine sipped enough to moisten his dry lips. "I'm alright, though. I'm just tired," Blaine said and viewed his surroundings. "And in the hospital, apparently."

"You really don't remember getting here?" Kurt asked.

"Maybe, it's sort of blurred. How long have I been here?"

"You came in last night. Cooper and Katie picked us up."

"I kind of remember that." Blaine followed the drip in his hand and the tube connected to it.

"That's for fluid," Kurt explained. "You hadn't been drinking enough for awhile. What else do you remember?"

Blaine searched his mind. "Um, I remember feeling terrible. I got sick and had a fever and was nauseous and dizzy, oh yeah, and someone was constantly taking blankets off of me and opening windows." He rose an eyebrow and glanced at Kurt.

"Oh my god, I thought you were seriously out of reach at that point," Kurt uttered, "and it wasn't constantly. I did it once."

"I was freezing!"

"It was Katie who told me to do it."

"I better have a word with Katie then," Blaine added.

"Oh come here, silly," Kurt laughed and pulled Blaine closer for a kiss.

But to Kurt's dismay their lips had barely touched before Blaine pulled away frowning. "Hang on a minute. I've got to check something." He removed his cover with a swift movement. "No, no, no, they didn't!" he moaned and covered himself up immediately.

"Did what?" Kurt asked confused until an understanding "oh" slipped away.

"Yes, OH, Kurt!" Blaine spat out. "You have to get someone to come. I don't want a tube in my dick!" Kurt pressed his lips hard together ready to burst out laughing. "Seriously Kurt, this is so humiliating."

"Don't you think it would have been more humiliating if you had peed all over yourself in your sleep?" Kurt giggled.

"Maybe, but someone must have stripped me down and handled my dick without my consent. That is not cool." He side eyed Kurt, not entirely satisfied with his boyfriend's lack of compassion for his situation. Then he couldn't keep it together himself. "Well at least I got you laughing instead of crying," he muttered through a smile. "Now will you please find a nurse - and I would appreciate a male kind."

Kurt's smile faltered immediately. "Not a chance, the female ones are doing fine."

When a nurse, around his mother's age, responded to the buzzer, Blaine was at a loss for words. He would simply not survive this.

"Hi Blaine," the nurse said excitedly, "so good to see those pretty eyes of yours." She pointed to her nametag like a stewardess showing him the emergency door. "My name is Mary and if you need help with anything I'm your go-to-gal." She laughed at her own perkiness. "Now what can I do you for?"

Blaine could literally feel his dick shrink to pea size. "I think ... I'm able to pee on my own now," he stated and found a spot on the ceiling to give his undivided focus.

"Oh, but of course," Mary chirped away, "let me remove that catheter for yah. It's just one swift tug and you're all free and happy down there again."

Kurt bit his lip, barely keeping it together. "Maybe I should just … wait outside," he stuttered.

Blaine caught his arm faster than a fish catching a fly on the surface. "You're staying Kurt."

"Oookay," Kurt said and sat down obediently on the edge of the chair and looked at Mary with big eyes.

To say it was just a swift tug wasn't a lie, but it hurt like shit and the feeling was more uncomfortable than anything Blaine had experienced before. When it was all done and Blaine was covered up properly again Mary patted him on his arm. "You better go out and pee as soon as you can," she said motherly and winked. "Just so we know everything is working the way it's supposed to."

Blaine closed his eyes. "I promise," he said, barely opening his mouth.

"And remember I'm only a buzz away," she laughed again.

When Mary was well out the door Kurt lost it completely and laughed until the tears were running again. "I swear, Kurt, if you ever tell anybody about this I'm never speaking to you again."

"Noted," Kurt giggled.

Blaine rolled his eyes and suddenly noticed a small table with flowers and gifts on it, all colorful and bright against the white walls. "Wow, who are they all from?"

Kurt reduced his giddiness to a wide smile and pointed out the different bouquets. "This one is from Dub and Joyce," he said about the most sophisticated bouquet. "And it came with a drawing from Kevin."

Blaine unfolded the paper Kurt handed him. It was a picture of Blaine playing all sorts of instruments in a cartoonish style. "This is so sweet," he mumbled and let his finger follow each drawing. "He must think very highly of me if he thinks I can play the saw, though."

"Who knows," Kurt said and reached out for a picture leaning up against a bouquet of orange Daisies and wild flowers. "This is from Ally, Fred and Jasmine."

The picture was gorgeous and a four month old Jasmine smiled toothless at them from her mother's arms. "She is just the cutest kid ever," Blaine chuckled. "As much of a surprise she was it's impossible to imagine Ally and Fred without her."

"Definitely - she's part of everything from now on." Kurt put the picture back, smiling at the family in the picture. "The last gift is from the New York gang - Tana, Charlene, Finn, Rachel, Sam and Cedes. " Kurt read the names from the card that was placed in a basket with goodies of all kinds.

"There must be snacks enough for months," Blaine said and looked through the stuff in the basket. "And three movies, magazines and tickets for the theater. They seem to believe I'm bored."

Blaine wasn't bored, but an hour later he was too tired to stay awake anymore. He had managed to eat a bit, drink all of his ice water - because they had promised to remove the drip in his arm if he did - and peed, all on his own; to nurse Mary's complete satisfaction. He was exhausted but made Kurt promise to stay around even if he fell asleep.

Cooper arrived at the hospital just as Kurt was finishing up on a couple of phone calls in the hallway. His dad and Carol were on their way from Ohio and the Andersons would arrive late in the afternoon. Besides the closest family Kurt had kept Matt, Sam and Ally posted. Ally had been the most protective of them all and the one Kurt had to take care of the most. She was devastated that it had come to this and more than willing to come and give Blaine a piece of her mind if he wasn't willing to slow down.

"How is he?"" Cooper asked out of breath once Kurt hung up.

"Better than I thought, actually. His sense of humor is unharmed at least." Kurt smiled weakly.

"But? But what? I can hear it Kurt," Cooper proceeded.

"We haven't talked about the real issues, you know, about what really happened or what it will take for him to get back on his feet."

Cooper crossed his arms nervously. "We don't have to go there just yet. Let him come around first."

"I agree, Coops, but you know he is going to ask questions before the day is done and we can't go soft on him."

"No, no … of course."

The two men looked at each other. They were probably the most important people in Blaine's life at the moment and they had to agree on the decisions coming ahead. "Look, I will stay here in the common room," Kurt said. "Matt is visiting to update me on the status about the record deal and the band. You can go and sit next to him. He will be thrilled to see you when he wakes up again."

"Thank you," Cooper said gratefully and hugged him before he tip toed into Blaine's room.

For the remainder of the day Blaine only had as many visitors as he could handle, which was narrowed down to family alone. A lot of people had called, but Kurt had been protective about Blaine's level of energy and no one blamed him. Early in the evening Kurt decided to take Burt and Carole out for dinner and left Blaine to spend some time alone with his parents.

Being with his dad and Carole felt like a safe haven, and for awhile Kurt allowed himself to be a son instead of a boyfriend with a lot of responsibilities. He asked about things at home and how it had been for Carole to see Finn off to New York - and he told about his latest audition for Sweeney Todd that actually looked promising. Once they returned to Blaine's situation Carole encouraged him the best way she could as a nurse and supported his decision to deal with the seriousness of it all. His dad told him to trust his instincts and fight for Blaine, like he always had. They offered to stay in town until Blaine could leave the hospital and Kurt accepted gratefully. The loft apartment was available again after Mercedes and Sam had found a place of their own and Kurt took time to install his family there before he headed back to the hospital.

The night faced him with uncertainty. He could definitely use a good night's sleep in his own bed instead of the uncomfortable armchair next to Blaine - but he hated sleeping alone and Blaine might still need him.

The hospital department had quiet down significantly when Kurt returned. He met James and Rebecca Anderson just as they were leaving for their hotel. They looked tired and troubled even though Rebecca did her best to hide it. "Did you have a nice evening?" she asked and hugged him.

"Oh, I did. Thank you very much," Kurt answered. "How about you?" He looked expectantly at the couple.

"I don't think Blaine gets how serious this is," James sighed. "He keeps neglecting the facts and what the doctors have told him … but maybe we expect too much of him right now." Mr. Anderson tried to smile. "He needs time to make the pieces fit."

"I know," Kurt agreed. "I think they have scheduled a session with a therapist tomorrow and hopefully that will be of some help, not just for Blaine, but for us too. Is he sleeping now?"

Rebecca shook her head. "He's tired, but I think he's waiting for you."

"I'll go check on him right away," Kurt answered. "Oh, I almost forgot, my dad and Carole would like to see you for breakfast tomorrow and then you can all come here."

They said goodnight to each other and Kurt was about to leave when James stopped him on his own. "I just … Kurt if there is anything I can do, on practical matters, you will call me right?"

Kurt didn't know James that well when it came down to it. He had always left Blaine a lot of space to spend time with his father alone. But for a split second he saw this strong man beg for help and beg for something to do. He saw the love James had for his youngest son and his need to be involved. He still remembered how sensitive Blaine had been about James supporting A Song For Cordelia financially. But so much had changed since then and distrust had been replaced with respect and a loving relationship between father and son. "There might be something, actually, but I will have to get back to you. I need to check up on a few things before I get you involved."

James smiled for real this time. "I will do everything I can. You just say when."

When Kurt entered the dimmed room Blaine was staring blankly ahead. His lips were slightly pressed together as if he was holding something back; words or feelings. Kurt knew the expression and braced himself for whatever might come. "It's been a long day, huh," Kurt said and sat down at the edge of the bed. The dark spots underneath Blaine's eyes bore witness to the exhaustion.

"I don't know," Blaine said. "I've done nothing but lay here, being treated like I'm not only sick, but also a mental case, but I guess that can be labelled as a long day, too."

Kurt had hoped this conversation could have belonged to tomorrow, but Blaine's haunted eyes told him otherwise. "You're not a mental case, baby, but this goes beyond dehydration and a fever."

"No it doesn't," Blaine spat out. "I'm freaking tired and I need to sleep, but I swear to god, being constantly told that I'm stressed out and can't work for months is stressing me out way more than anything!" He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with impatient movements. "I want to talk to Matt. I need to know what is happening with our record deal. It's inexcusable that I blew that meeting in the first place, but maybe we can patch things up and get started again. And I need to leave this freaking hospital where they put tubes in your dick while you're sleeping. I don't want to be here."

The urge to reach out for Blaine's hand was overwhelming but Kurt knew it was not what was needed at this moment. "What do you really remember about yesterday?" he asked instead.

"That I got a fever. I've already told you that," Blaine hissed.

"Before the fever," Kurt precised calmly.

"I don't know," Blaine answered annoyed. "I hadn't slept much and I guess … I guess I felt a bit overwhelmed. Everybody feels that from time to time, don't tell me otherwise."

"So you don't really remember, do you?" Kurt held his stare until Blaine looked away defiantly. "Then let me tell you what happened and why everybody who loves you is worried sick. You couldn't read your own notes from a music sheet; the ones you'd written just hours before. Your brain couldn't recall their names or how they were supposed to be played on the piano. And when you tried to press down the keys to play, your fingers prickled like they wouldn't function. You kept opening and closing your hands in fists, like an ongoing movement that couldn't be stopped." Kurt's mouth dried out as he relived the moment all over again. "You couldn't remember your schedule for the day and you were not entirely sure about what kind of song you were composing or what it was supposed to be used for. Then you kept asking for your phone ... even though it was right in front of you. You even asked for it … while you were holding it in your hand." Kurt's voice broke as he continued. "You kept repeating the same questions over and over; questions that I had already answered a thousand times. Do you know how hard it was to see you break like that? To watch you crumble into something that didn't made sense and just … not know what to do about it or how to help you?" He cried. "I have blamed myself so much for this. I overlooked all the signs that could have told me just how miserable you were … and I was too afraid to admit that I was miserable, too."

Big, crystal clear tears ran down Blaine's cheeks as fear and uncertainty replaced stubbornness. He found Kurt's hand and intertwined their fingers. "Oh god, I didn't know," he whispered unhappily, "I didn't know any of it."

Kurt found Blaine's lips and kissed him gently. "We can find our way back, Blaine, to who we were before crazy schedules and producers asking for outrageous things."

By the mention of the producer Blaine pulled away and turned his head so Kurt couldn't see him. "I still need to talk to Matt," he said.

Disappointment rushed through Kurt in heavy waves. He missed Blaine to the core of his bones, missed feeling connected and close, but he couldn't take what Blaine wasn't ready to give him. "Yes, of course," he said with a small voice. "I've already arranged for him to come tomorrow. Is there anything else I can do?"

Blaine swallowed hard. "Yes, just give me some time on my own. I … need a moment alone."

"Of course," Kurt repeated devastated and squeezed Blaine's hand before he let go and left the room.

Blaine kept still without moving an inch of his body as too much information mixed with feelings he could hardly identify pressed against every wall of his being. His head was near explosion, he could barely breathe, let alone think. He couldn't decide what was worse; the things Kurt had told him, or the fact that he didn't recognize any of it. Was he really losing his mind? Was he going crazy? Maybe you're the last one to notice just before you turn raving mad. No, no, no. That wasn't it. This was not out of his control. He just needed to keep going; to finish what he had started and compose those stupid songs. Yes, that he could do. He would prove to all of them that he wasn't broken, that he was stronger that they thought. So, he was knocked down, but he refused to stay down. There were a ton of songs about that. Songs, songs. Yes, he would sit down in front of the piano and keep writing until he was done; keep writing, and composing … and singing.

The terror hit him like lightning, out of nowhere but so powerful that it paralyzed everything it touched. Fear made him short of breath and pushed his heart rate until he could hear it pounding in his ears. Anxiety threatened to overtake him completely within a split second and his cry for help was instinctively formed into one single word. "KURT!"

Kurt came through the door and rushed to his bedside in a matter of seconds. "I'm here, I'm here," Kurt breathed out and held him tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Blaine sobbed. "I don't want to be alone. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Kurt held on and let Blaine rest against his chest. "You'll be alright, baby, I promise. We will fix you together and I have a plan how to do it; just you and me."

Little by little Kurt managed to calm him down. "Will you stay here tonight?" Blaine asked with a raspy voice.

"And sleep in the shitty armchair?" Kurt asked with a smile. "Of course, for as many nights as you want me to."