Dear Readers, I am back (not by choice) to answer some more of your questions. I admit, I've found strange humor in reading all the ridiculous things you have to say to me. But you aren't here to read my criticisms on your typical teenage angst, so without further ado, I'll answer my first question. -Severus Snape
Dear Professor,
What house should I be in? I have a lot of book knowledge, enough cleverness to fool my parents, a great ambition, and sometimes I let idiotic bravery get the better of me.
-Kitsune no Shinobu
Dear Kitsune no Sinobu,
Let me think. Book knowledge, cleverness, ambition, and idiotic bravery, you say? You have all the qualities of both a Slytherin and a Gryffindor. My advice: Get online, take one of those pesky "Sorting Hat" tests, see what it says, and then stab yourself in the eye with a hot, greasy French fry.
PS-Yes, I borrowed that from a certain squirrel. He has some good ideas.
Dear Professor,
Why did you follow an evil nose-less wizard? Honestly, did his skills in bed make up for his lack of a nose or something? This has always baffled me.
-Sandwich Theorem
Dear Sandwich Theorem,
I would say that you've earned yourself a detention for your pertinence, but I've grown rather tired of having sweaty, useless, underage wizards in my office all day. So, to answer your question, yes. Yes it did.
Dear Professor,
I need to know why you are such an ass. Can't you be nice to the Gryffindors? And WHY is your hair so...so...well you know!
-Slytherin Snake
Dear Slytherin Snake,
I am the way I am for various reasons. None of which I will share with you. No, I cannot be nice to the Gryffindors, it stems from my deep seated hatred of James Potter and his friends. If you were a true Slytherin, you wouldn't have asked. As to your comment on my hair, I'm going to ignore it. This time.
Dear Professor Snape,
I recently found a large, fluffy white teddy bear with a necklace reading "Lily" on its neck and the initials "S.S." embroidered on its back. I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I kept it. Should I have tried harder to find its owner, or did I do the right thing? –N. Longbottom
Longbottom,
Bring the bear to my office, no questions asked. I'll see that it is returned to its proper owner.
Dear Professor,
So like I really really like this professor. I mean he has this dry and sarcastic wit about him and oh the way his black cloaks billow. What should I do?
-Gryf Gurl
Dear Gryf Gurl,
Interesting. Very interesting. How about you come to my office at 6 pm for dinner? I can show you how Slytherins unwind after a long day…
A/N: Ew. So, anyways, keep those questions coming, because I'm starting to run out!