From the personal, unpublished journal of Josiah E. Bartlet, President of the United States:
Friday, March 15, 2002 – 11:28 p.m. EST – Aboard Air Force One in route to South America
My staff, it must be said, has been seriously infected by the Love Bug. There are, at last count, four new couples since Valentine's Day – four openly acknowledged, that is, and one that is actually a pretty well-kept secret, amazingly enough. Three of the four that are known are between lower level staff members; even if the Republicans had them on the radar screen, their positions aren't important enough politically that any potential impropriety - like a boss/assistant relationship – don't matter. Don't get me wrong. These people are very important to me; it's just that the Republicans don't care about them.
The Republicans do care about the fourth couple, however. They care a lot, because while he's one of ours, she's one of theirs. The powers that run the GOP are privately frothing at the mouth, deathly afraid that Sam Seaborn will somehow corrupt Ainsley Hayes. Oh, how little they know or understand! Sam and Ainsley are in love precisely because of that intrinsic difference of politics. I, for one, am delighted. Ainsley has blossomed and isn't so afraid to voice her opinion in front of Leo or me now. Sam has written the best speeches of his life since Valentine's Day, mostly, I think, because he's no longer such a tortured soul.
Speaking of tortured souls…
It has been killing me since Valentine's Day to see all the signs of true love in full bloom at last between Josh Lyman and Donna Moss and to know that they have to keep it hidden because the aforementioned GOP will rip them – and this entire administration – to shreds if their romance comes to light. So I am providing them a way to have their relationship and their jobs, too.
Leo thinks I'm off my rocker for this, but I offered Donna the opportunity to serve at the pleasure of the President as Personal Secretary to the President of the United States. I did this a little while ago, when we were on our way to a campaign stop in South Texas. Why does Leo think this is a bad idea?
Josh. Leo is convinced that I am easier to control than Josh is. He may well be right – he does it on a daily basis, whereas the thankless and terrifying job of controlling Josh falls substantially on Donna's broad shoulders and he wouldn't take her job if he had to even to get Bill Gates to donate his entire personal fortune to the Democratic National Committee. Be that as it may, for both the purely human reason of wanting to see lovers openly sharing their joy and for the politically astute reason of diffusing a potential scandal before it erupts, I have laid the offer on the table. I can do this with a clear conscience, even though I know that if Donna accepts the offer, Leo will be going through the far more arduous task of finding a new Donna for Josh. I, however, know that Josh is the Rose King and that the two are deeply involved, which may make it just a little easier to find an office assistant for him.
I told Donna and Josh that I need an answer on Tuesday, when they rejoin us. I have left them in Corpus Christi, Texas, for the weekend. They are expecting to meet with the Democratic primary winners and key state party leaders starting tomorrow at lunch; what they don't know is that I have spoken to the three key leaders and asked them to postpone the meetings until Monday. They were fine with that; the head of the party has arranged free admission to many of the tourist attractions in the Sparkling City by the Sea for my staffers so that when they have time to take a break from their rush project, they can enjoy the city. CJ, who I just found out also knows about their involvement because Josh was smart enough to make her his first call, will call them about 9:00 tomorrow morning with the cancellation and remind them not to do anything stupid.
There is no rush project for our poor, tortured Josh and long-suffering Donna. Rather, I've given them almost two and a half days to be together in a romantic, sub-tropical city with nothing to do except be together. My sincere hope is that the time away alone will help the two realize that they are ultimately more important than the jobs either of them do.
Abbey agrees with me about Sam and Ainsley being good for each other. She really believes that Josh and Donna are soul mates – and she thinks that it won't take Donna long to become as indispensable to me as Delores Landingham ever was.
To sweeten the deal for Josh and Donna, there's a bottle of champagne for Mr. Josh Lyman and Ms. Donnatella Moss to be delivered to them tonight in their suite at the Omni Bayfront Hotel, courtesy of the President of the United States.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…