Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! and all of its character belong to Amano Akira. The author of this work claim no ownership over the characters and settings associated with Katekyo Hitman Reborn!. The material found on through this work is not intended to infringe upon copyright, and the aforementioned titles are the sole legal property of their respective Copyright Holders.

"You know, this will be a lot easier if you agreed in the first place."

Reborn, for all of his famed self-control, almost gave into the temptation to strangle his companion.

They were following – stalking – Tsuna in the city when their Boss has expressed – rather empatheticaly – that he would not be cooped up in his office for much longer. No one could deny Tsuna when he pulled out the hardworking-boss-who-slaved-everyday-while-his-subordinates-made-a-mess card. It was rather dirty for Tsuna to do that, but Reborn had suspected that he didn't give a damn when his freedom was once again threatened.

(Okay, so maybe Tsuna learnt that trick from Reborn, but he wasn't supposed to use it on him!)

It made everything worse when Tsuna specifically said that he did not want anyone escorting him. Not that Reborn couldn't blame him, with his rising popularity (in which Tsuna thought was perfectly normal occurrence for mafia Dons and Donnas.), a lot of people wanted a piece of him. It came to the point where Tsuna was barricaded with two layers of bodyguards (meat-shields as Mukuro loved to point out) every time he stepped one foot off of Vongola's property.

Just seeing it made Reborn nuts. He – kind of, not that he'd admit it – sympathized his boss.

(But seeing him out in the open by himself was unnerving, to say at least.)

So here he was, the number one hitman in the world and Mammon the Esper... stalking Tsuna as he enjoyed socializing with the civillians.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I will not join your cult." Reborn deadpanned. Honestly, this talk about joining their organization was driving him mad. This wasn't the first time they'd approached him, and with each rejection, they've become determined to prove him that they're good people.

(Let's not forget that they're mafioso with a side job as Cult practitioner with Tsuna as their unwilling God).

"You don't understand, now that everyone knew of him as Saint Tsunayoshi–" Reborn almost chocked on his own saliva. "–some people might... steal him, if you know what I mean."

"Wait, what? I thought that was a confidential information that only the core members know?!" Reborn hissed lowly.

"Well, not really. I had a whole website dedicated for him, remember?"

"I thought that was betting rings."

"That, and also gambling, fortune telling, or simply places where people could unleash their unhealthy obsession with Tsuna. It's actually quite useful."

Reborn let out a shuddering breath because, shit, everything they do was downright illegal.

Oh right, Reborn thought sarcastically. We're mafia. Illegal is supposed to be normal.

(Reborn tried to ignore the curious part of his brain that wondered why Mammon's website was on the Dark Webs; it was now thoroughly pleased with that tidbits.)

"Okay, tell me what more you're doing, because if Tsuna found out about this you all are not going to get out of it unharmed. You know this, right? For the love of God please tell me you know what you're doing."

Mammon kept his calm as he airily informed the disgruntled hitman of their 'positive' activity. "That's true, but it was too convenient to be ignored. For the last eight months, we had avoided major confrontation with three hostile Family. Do you think we were only using it for our own gain?" It being Tsuna's weird accuracy on predicting the future. Mammon wisely ignored the part where the only one who asks anything about rival Family was Gokudera. Then again, that guy never seem to want anything other than Tsuna's safety.

Bless his soul.

"No, I suppose not. I thought it only works for something as mundane as sports?"

Mammon ignored the jab. Reborn surely was lacking his edge.

"That, and various other things as well. Such as which stock market is the most valuable-"

"-Wow, never knew you'd ask that."

"-and how much I should invest. Of course, everything He said has happened."

Oh, wow. He could even hear the capitalized 'H' from that sentence alone.

Reborn rolled his eyes when Mammon practically purred as he sang Tsuna praises. "Your organization is a cult and you know it."

There was a beat, and Mammon turned to face him with the flattest expression he'd ever seen. "You know, we could make a religion out of this."

"Really, Mammon? Really? I thought you're as level headed as Verde! But I see now, all these prediction shit has corrupted you."

"Just imagine, centuries later, there'll be a church for Tsuna!" Mammon was positively beaming it almost hurt his eyes.

"You know that wouldn't happen, right? Vatican is inside of Rome, we're practically neighbors!"

"Well, obviously we should pick another location for Saint Tsunayoshi's home-base then."

Reborn face palmed, they've even gave Tsuna a nickname... and Mammon wasn't even listening to him! "God have mercy on me..."

Mammon smirked. "One of these days you'll be praying to Tsuna instead."

"Shut up."

Mammon let his haughty smirk drop into the usual bland look and stepped out of the shadow. "Let's just follow Tsuna and see what he's up to. I don't want to lose him in this crowd."

That rare moment of sanity Mammon showed was enough to throw Reborn off kilter that he almost missed the retreating back of his elusive boss.

After Mammon's pathetic attempt at recruiting Reborn, it was safe to say that the Hitman was now positively on edge. Scratch that, he was downright paranoid.

Everywhere he went, one of Mammon's minion would try to convince him to join just because he's one of the 'most important' people on Tsuna's list.

(He doesn't actually know if there's a list for that, but they guessed Tsuna had different priorities when it came to his Family.)

(How would they even know who's important for Tsuna and who's not? Who are these people who made such decisions?)

(Reborn then remembered that Fuuta was also a member of Tsuna Cultist.)

It came to the point where he released a warning shot just inches away from Squalo's boots.

Suffice to say, no one has tried anything on him for the last couple of weeks. But it was so much worse now that everyone in the Family never let him out of their sight.

Of course, if there's one thing positive about joining said Family, it was because Vongola Family was filled with people who were determined to finish the job.

Unfortunately, Reborn was the new focus for their self-imposed job.

"Reborn, what the hell are you doing?"

Reborn didn't even bother to acknowledge Tsuna when he ducked behind one of the couches facing the door.

"They're looking for me. Just shut up and let me hide." He hissed lowly, lips pressing into a thin line when he caught the amused smirk on Tsuna's face.

"Congratulations for the wise choice of hiding place, Reborn. I mean, no one would think of looking in this place. It's not like my office is totally barren of people barging in without notice for every ten minutes."

Damn, Tsuna must be in a good mood to be sassy at 8 in the morning.

Reborn kept his silence for only a good five minutes before the door to Tsuna's office swung open. And – by the sound of it – Dino was the one who was pursuing him today.

"Dino-san," Tsuna greeted warmly. "I haven't seen you for a while! Come in!"

Reborn cursed to himself. Tsuna was supposed to be his ally!

"Hey, little bro. You miss me?"

"Of course, I do! You're my most favorite older brother, ever!"

Reborn had to be thankful for the fact that Dino didn't have an ounce of Tsuna's famous Hyper Intuition as he was completely swept with Tsuna's glorious charm and useless small talks.

Reborn taught him well. Too well.

"Oh, and if you see Reborn, tell him I said 'hi' and want to see him ASAP!"

"I will! See you later, Dino-san!"

There was muffled clicks of expensive shoes as Dino stepped away from Tsuna's office.

"What was that about?"

Reborn cautiously emerged from the back of the couch, gun gripped tightly in his hand. He didn't even remember when he retrieved his trusty silver Glock. "I told you, they practically announce a manhunt on me."

"For what?"

Reborn hesitated. To tell or not to tell, that was the question.

(It's not like he got anything to lose if he told Tsuna, right?)

"... They wanted me to join a cult."

Silence.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Reborn. And I've heard a lot."

Reborn huffed. "Well, maybe because it's not you they've been stalking?"

"Oh, no no no. Don't you dare change the subject. I don't think Cults are supposed to be that forward, and I thought they're supposed to be secret?"

Reborn smiled wryly. "Well, they are. Do you know that one of their core activities is to sneak into someone's bedroom in the middle of the night wearing hooded robes and worshiping them while they were sleeping?" He didn't want to admit it out loud, but seeing the shiver that run through Tsuna's spine as he told him that particular fun-fact was satisfying.

Well, at least Tsuna agreed with him that their activity was downright illegal.

"Damn, that's downright creepy. Who the hell watches people sleep?" Well, they do, Tsuna. You're actually the one I'm talking about. " And you're telling me that these cultist are trying to recruit you? Have you tried declining?"

Reborn groaned. "I did, Tsuna. I even gave a warning shot; with a real bullet! They haven't backed off."

Tsuna hummed contemplatively. "Who are the known members? I'll have a word with them."

(In the end, Tsuna did have a talk with Dino and Squalo. And by the looks of it, he scolded them hard to the point where people avoided Reborn like plague.)

(He was still trying to find out just what Tsuna told them to have them back off that easily. But his boss never told him anything. Still, he was thankful with the brunet's interference. He didn't think he could take anymore roses on his doorstep anymore. Somehow, they got it over their head that Reborn was just some lonely maiden who only wanted company.)

(Reborn was granted a full month free of those Cultist stalker.)

(But, just like anything his boss eradicated, it came back rearing its ugly head viciously. With interest.)

(Now, the only place safe from them was – ironically – Tsuna's bedroom. And so, Reborn spent most of his night sleeping below Tsuna's king sized bed, thanking the gods that the bed-sheet was long enough to completely cover the space left between the bed-frame and floor.)

(No one found out where he hides after work time, even Tsuna. That was one of his skill. Being completely undetected.)

(If it wasn't creepy before, it was even more creepy now. Somehow, the size of the nightly visitor has increased two-fold from usual. Which was a frightening number considering Tsuna was just laying there sleeping without a care; completely dead to the world with the only company of creepers who liked to talk to him in his sleep.)

(Reborn ended up – involuntarily – witnessing the cultist midnight activity on Tsuna's bedroom. He couldn't really do anything, like shooting them on the head one by one from his hiding place because; 1. He didn't plan on giving up his only safe heaven from them. 2. He didn't want to face two dozen skilled mafioso on his own in a very limited space. 3. He definitely didn't want Tsuna to be involved in his fight.)

(He might've been the world number one hitman, but the core member of Tsuna cultist has – at least – five former Arcobaleno, not counting the fact that Jager and Bermuda were now a frequent nightly visitor to the daily meetings.)

(He's powerful, but even he was not insane enough to consider taking them all on his own.)

(God have mercy on him.)

AN: This fanfic is really fun to write because I wasn't pressured to follow any plot. This is officially PWP; Parody Without Plot.

I really thank you guys for the amount of support and love you've shown for this piece of my muse. I definitely will only update whenever I felt like it. I kept it in "complete" tag so I won't feel the pressure that I have ongoing works lol. Also for the fact that these are just interconnected oneshots that I could stop updating any day (If I feel like I'm done, anyway).

Oh, shit. Now that I think about it, Reborn involuntarily became the Boogie-man because of his recent sleeping arrangements!

See ya, guys.

(I have half a mind to make a side story of this one to cross-over with Rise of The Guardians because of the whole worshipping thing. Don't mind me, probably just my plot bunny speaking.)