THE PART THAT IS SORT OF LIKE A CHAPTER TWO

Cradling his finger, which was bleeding profusely, Harry quickly wrapped a paper towel around it to serve as a bandage, the blood dyeing it a crimson red. As he struggled to make the crude bandage stay on, another little mouse popped out from one of the cracks beneath the cabinets, invisible to the human eye, or the eye of anything other than a mouse's eye, although it is a safe bet that bug's eyes could see the cracks, too. Always make safe bets, by the way. The irony is, it's not really a bet, or a risk, if it's safe. So never mind.

This particular mouse was wearing a maroon sweater that looked like it was hand knitted, which is understandable since mice factories probably do not exist --although that is not a safe bet-- and it had a gold letter "R" in stitched the center. He (it wasn't wearing any pink bows) was a peculiar mouse, not only for his sweater and the fact that he walked on two feet instead of four like a little child pretending to be Simba or a pink pony, but he had a small tuft of orange-red (like a crayon) hair on top of his head. Ordinary mice DO NOT have tufts. Just set up mouse traps around a house and look at your catch up close and you will see that, if they are not wearing clothes or bows, they WILL NOT have tufts of hair on top of their heads in any color, but especially NOT orange-red. Like a crayon. While crayons are ordinary, crayon-colored hair is not, unless it's in a coloring book, but there are exceptions to every rule, and two dimensional people in coloring books aren't really real, unless you count the fact you can touch, see, and smell them , but you will find that the touch reminds you of paper, the appearance so like paper, and the scent peculiarly paper-esque, and since it doesn't really matter what kind of crayon-colored hair a two-dimensional person on a piece of paper has, this whole sentence has just been a waste of time and space, unless you were sincerely unaware that two-dimensional characters on paper were only real because they were on paper, which is real, and if that's the case, I'm sorry I ruined your life. At least you still have The Easter Bunny to believe in.

The little marooned-sweatered mouse seemed unafraid of Harry, or maybe he was just brave, or may be he was distantly related, because he approached the towering five foot six giant without hesitation and tugged on the hem of Harry's jeans rather urgently, as though he wanted his presence known. Harry glanced down, flashing a toothy grin (that is a weird description, really… toothy?), and leaned his head closer to converse with the orange-red tufted vermin. Well, vermin is rather harsh, since he was kind of a cute little thing, with a pointy little nose, glossy whiskers, teeny weeny paws, and a tail that kind of twitched and wagged like a dog's, except it belonged to a mouse, so it was thin and long and was covered in mouse fur rather than dog fur. The difference between mouse fur and dog fur is mouse fur is a lot shorter and is usually found on mice, and dog fur is usually longer because it's on a bigger animal (dog's are bigger than mice, generally) and it is, of course, usually found on dogs. I explain these things because you just never know what kind of random stupid people will read this.

Just as Harry was about to open his mouth, he sneezed, which, ironically, opened his mouth, although much wider than he had intended, but instead of spewing words of polite inquiry, the poor mouse was sprayed with… well, you know, the "s" word. NO, not THAT "S" word, not THE BIG "S" word! I meant snot. Good Lord, I typed it.

Well anyway, the mouse just stood there, his arms ( I guess that's what they would be called since that's how they were used) stuck stiffly out in front of him, his paws hanging limply, his eyes and mouth closed in utter disgust, his whiskers quivering as though he were trying very hard not to completely freak out. Harry, blushing with embarrasment for "s"-ing up the little creature, pulled something that greatly resembled a stick, although this one was smoothly polished, out of his back pocket. Turned out the sticky-thing was a wand. Hey, don't fairies use wands? Oh, don't tell me…

Dear Miss Allen,

The Bureau of Journalists would like to inform you that Harry Potter is indeed NOT a fairy, and would appreciate it if you would leave such disgusting innuendo completely out of your stories.

We have also been painfully informed that you have used the "S" word. We hope, by now, you realize the gravity of your utilization of such a term, as it is quite a repulsive one, not to mention juvenile.

Should such misuse of terms or expressions transpire again, we will have no other alternative than to send representatives of the Bureau to destroy your computer.

Hoping you are mentally stable.

Yours sincerely,

Lexis A. Buse

IMPROPER USE OF WORDS OFFICE
Bureau of Journalists

How embarrassing. I hope you just skimmed over that.

At any rate, I think you will find Harry Potter's life and his dealings with the mouse in the maroon sweater, who has been so elaborately described for forever and a day, than my little brain blurp there.

Well, anyway, the STICKY-THING used by HARRY THE BOY and not SOME OTHER WINGED CREATURE WITH GLITTERY STUFF ON IT AND BIG EYES AND A TWINKLING VOICE AND OTHER RANDOM STUFF, quickly got rid of the GOOEY SUBSTANCE on the LITTLE FURRY CREATURE. Oh, wait. I wasn't in trouble for the word mouse.

"What is it, Ron?" Harry quietly asked. His low volume, once again, was quite thoughtful. And now you know the mouse's name, so I can stop using the word mouse so often, even though I know redundancy is good for readers who often forget what we writers have written earlier on in the story.

"Harry, Harry," he sqeaked excitedly, boucing up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down. It would be like watching a tennis ball, except vertically.

"HARRY, THERE'S NEW MOUSE IN A TRAP UNDER THE STAIRS IT'S A GIRL COME SEE SHE HAS NO CLOTHES!!!!!" Now we know why -- wait, I could get in trouble for that thought.

"Calm down," Harry giggled. Yes, giggled. "Now, where did you say he was?

"NO! SHE!!!! She's in the cupboard under the stairs!!! Quick, this way!"

"Under the stairs? Aunt P must've been setting traps in my old --wait 'til I --she'll pay for this --bloody woman….yak yak yak…" Harry continued his muttered threats the whole short way to the cupboard beneath the stairs, and little Ron had to jump out of the way of the door Harry passionately yanked open, before flinging himself onto the floor. The dude really likes mice. He should work in a pet shop, or something.

Harry found himself face to face with the furriest mouse he believed he had ever seen in his entire life, its great big brown eyes glossy from unshed tears, its tail trapped beneath the metal doohicky that traps mice tails on mouse traps. You know what I'm talking about. Ron peeked bashfully from behind Harry's arm, obviously pleased he had brought someone who could and would save the distressed damsel with the trapped tail, but too shy to strut up to the mouse in question.

There was no doubt it was female, however, as a pink ribbon that was probably once tied into a bow at one point drooped tiredly at the tip of the tail caught in that metal thing, whatever you would call it. Scuttle would most likely dub it the MiggyWhopper, or something stupid like that.

Harry gently lifted the MiggyWhopper off the little trembling mouse's tail, which was painfully crumpled from the MiggyWhopper that had been squishing it only moments before. She let out a grateful squeak and softly caressed her MiggyWhopper-squished tail, the faded pink ribbon still hanging limply from the tip of it, rather looking as though it would slip off entirely at any moment it would slip off.

"What's your name?"

The mouse looked up at Harry in surprise, then launched off into her response.

"MynameisHermionebutyoucancallmeMioneforshortifyouwantwhatonearthisamousetrapinhereforIthoughtthishousewasmousefriendlyyouknowibetIcouldfindabookthatsaysit'sillealtoavemousetrapsinamousefriendlyhousemicedeserveequalrightsjustlikeothercreaturesI--"

Ron quickly over came his bashfullness and unashamedly came out from his hiding place behind Harry, both hanging their mouths wide enough for a bird or a weasel or a salmon to fit through. They weren't used to girls apparently, otherwise they wouldn't be standing there like they had never a heard a girl talk before. Girls are cool even if they do talk a lot. I know, I am one.

Hermione, as she called herself, continued jabbering away, and would have jabbered away even more than she had already jabbered away until there was nothing left to jabber away, if Harry had not put a really big finger to her little mouse mouth, silencing her, because she knew the universal sign language for silence because we all learn that a finger to the mouth means "hush" in Kindergarten. Ron blinked his eyes in that same kind of post-something daze that sort of resembled the post-fantasy daze Harry experienced at the very beginning of this story when he was jolted from his dream. See what I mean about forgetting what was written earlier in a story? Told ya.

No one can really blame Ron for what he did, or didn't do next. He just stared at Hermione instead of averting his eyes like a gentleman. I mean, c'mon, she was only wearing a little pink ribbon on the edge of her tail that was about to fall off, and what would you do if you were a guy mouse and…. never mind. Hermione blushed, naturally, except you couldn't see it even if you were looking really hard because she was a mouse with mouse fur (remember the difference between mouse fur and dog fur?) and you can't see blushes on mice. So maybe she didn't technically blush, but if she could, she would have, and that is the point I'm sort of trying to get across.

Harry noticed the awkwardness of the moment and did what any well-meaning wizard would; with a flick of his wrist and some cool smoke and shiny stuff (Not the kind some other winged creature with glittery stuff on it and big eyes and a twinkling voice some otther random stuff would have) and a pretty gnarly chime noise, Hermione had a pink skirt and white shirt, and her pink ribbon was neatly tied into a bow. She smiled gratefully at Harry, boy, wizard, and future pet-shop worker.

Just as Harry was about to begin a conversation with his new little friend, a nasty voice broke the pleasant quietness, although it didn't really matter because Harry was about to break it anyway by beginning a conversation with his new little friend, but this voice was nasty, and Harry's probably wasn't since he's the hero of this story and all.

"HARRY POTTER, COME DO SOMETHING FOR ME!!" The vagueness of the command was because the I suffer from W.O.D.D. (Writer's Originality Dificient Disorder.) Or maybe not. I just had a brain lapse there for a moment.

Harry sighed, not really wanting leave and do some stupid, random thing for Aunt Petunia. Petunia was Harry's aunt, and she was the one with the nasty voice because she's not the hero of this story. I think Petunia is a stupid name for an aunt; my dog's middle name was Petunia, and if it sounds bad for a dog you know it sounds bad for an aunt with a nasty voice.

"COMING!!!" Harry shouted back, after sighing. You silly. Harry may be a wizard, but that doesn't mean he can shout and sigh at the same time.

He turned back to Ron and Hermione, who had covered their big, Mickey-mouse ears with their teeny weeny paws while Harry had shouted back to Aunt Petunia, who was his aunt, as loud noises coming from someone so much larger than they sounder much louder than it did to the person who was bigger. I wouldn't be surprised if it sounded like a really loud noise, to them.

"Well, Ron, I'll leave you to get to know Hermione and show her around and stuff. See ya."

"By Harry," Ron said as one would when one knows one is about to do something extremely important --in one's own eyes, at least.

Hermione just waved. See, girls don't talk ALL the time!!!

I don't know how much time I'll have to work on this, with school and all, but I hope to update promptly. Meantime... tell me what you think!! Please?