From Hades Lord of the Dead: In preparation of the new Holmes and Watson movie coming out this Christmas, please write a Sherlock Holmes parody. This can be a parody of the original canon or of SH fanfiction in general, whichever you prefer!
Holmes looked away from the stage with a snort of disgust. "Really, Watson, I do not know why you dragged me here."
"My agent granted us the tickets," I replied, my own good humour sorely damaged by the events of the first act. "He said it was based on my stories, though I did not picture it quite like this."
"At least your stories are tolerable," Holmes said, which was an admittance I had not heard from him before. "Even that illustrator, despite his insistence on that hat, has some degree of accuracy. This is merely drivel."
"It's not all bad," I weakly defended. Even though I did not like the play much myself, I felt it to somehow be my duty as a fellow writer to defend it from Holmes' critique. After all, it was still nominally a play about us, and it was an honour to have inspired that.
Holmes dismissed my words with a wave. "Their crime is trite and obvious, and any true disciple of logic should have found the criminal within thirty minutes. You could make better deductions than the ones portrayed here."
I was not offended, my long friendship with Holmes securing me in the knowledge that he had not meant it as an insult, but rather a simple comparison. "Still, even if the crime is obvious, the adventure is interesting. Surely you must wonder how the characters will find each other again."
"There was no need to separate them in the first place! You would not be so easily tricked as your stage counterpart, and have demonstrated your deftness with a pistol on many of our cases. A kidnapping makes nearly as little sense as that abominable romance!"
At that I laughed, finally letting go of my inclination to defend the play. "Very well, Holmes, you have defeated me. I must admit, I do not see where any of my readers could have imagined a romance between you and Mrs Norton."
Holmes stood, a twinkle in his eye. "Now that you have admitted this play is not worth watching, there is supposed to be a symphony tonight at a park not ten minutes walk from here."
I gathered my coat from my chair and stood, favouring my friend with a smile. "By all means, Holmes, lead on."