America was still red-faced as he pulled into the driveway of England's house. I can't believe I laughed out loud at THAT, he thought. But then again, it was pretty funny...

As he bounded up the front steps, he could hear England's voice through the door, "BLOODY HELL! PETER, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VASE?" America opened the front door (it was unlocked) and came upon a broken vase, an angry England, and a very upset Sealand (and Sealand's pet goat).

"I don't know what happened!" Sealand wailed. "I wasn't anywhere near that table. I was sitting in the parlor petting Garry and I heard a noise. When I came out here, I saw the vase on the floor, broken. Honest!"

England glared down at the boy, who was twisting his fingers in the shaggy hair of the goat standing at his side. "Peter, nothing breaks by itself... now tell me. What. Happened. To. The. Vase?"

"I already told you I don't know!" Sealand cried. "What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?"

Oh, if only Sealand had known what he triggered with that phrase! America immediately zoned out...

DRAMATIC CHORD! Spain, Prussia and France burst out of a linen closet, dressed in... red robes?

"HNOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Spain bellowed. "Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency.."

"And being awesome," Prussia cut in.

"Ohonhonhonhon, and being overwhelmingly sexy..." France added.

"No, you two, that's not right," Spain growled in frustration. "Can we do that again?"

"What are you worthless sods doing in my house?" England roared.

Spain ignored him and told Sealand, "I'll come in again." He, Prussia and France reentered the linen closet.

Sealand sighed and recited, "What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?"

DRAMATIC CHORD!

"HNOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Our two chief weapons are fear and surprise, and overwhelming... no, wait, that's wrong again..."

"WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS?" England shouted, his face turning beet red.

Spain turned to Prussia and said, "I can't say it, you're going to have to say it..."

"Say what? That I'm awesome?" Prussia responded.

"No, the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'"

"I can't do that," Prussia complained as Spain shoved him and France back behind the door of the linen closet.

Sealand whined, "Do I have to say it again?"

"Please," shouted Spain, his voice muffled by the door. By this time England was so flabbergasted that he was completely silent.

Sealand sighed, and recited again very mechanically, "What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?"

DRAMATIC CHORD!

"Um... nobody expects the... Awesome Spanish Inquisition... in fact, those who do expect... will..." France cut in here.

"They will embrace the tres bien moi, no?" He winked at Sealand, who made a face.

Spain became irritated. "Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Blah blah blah, fear, surprise... Cardinal Beilschmidt, read the charges."

Prussia produced a very official looking paper and read, "You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Bad Friends Trio, by calling us all "stupid gits". We are NOT stupid..."

Spain interrupted,"Now, how do you plead?"

England regained his voice and exclaimed, "I did say that! Guilty!"

The three laughed DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER and then France exclaimed, "Well, we shall see about... wait, what?" The three stopped laughing and looked at England puzzled.

"I said it, because you are all stupid gits. Not only gits, but mugs, wankers..." Here he looked at France. "And frogs," he pronounced.

"Do you confess?" Spain growled...

YES! America thought. But he didn't just think it...

"Alfred, what are you shouting about, you idiot?" America blinked. There were no Bad Friends in red robes, just the three of them. I did it again, America thought.

England sighed. "Between you and Peter... and that frog Francis, you lot are going to drive me mad."

"Umm... hee hee... well..." America really DID feel like an idiot, when he suddenly was given an out.

"Ohonhonhonhon," France remarked as he approached the trio from the inside of England's house. "Did I hear my name?"

"HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE, YOU FROG?" England yelled, his face turning nearly purple with rage.

"You left the front door unlocked," France replied, winking at him. "I just thought I would stop by..."

"HE BROKE THE VASE! IT WAS HIM!" Sealand shouted, pointing at France. England turned to France with murder in his eyes... and once again, America's mind-to-mouth filter failed.

"Cardinal Fang! Fetch... the comfy chair!" It just slipped out. France, Sealand and England all turned to America...

"You are a bloody moron, you know that?" England snorted.

o0oo0o0o0o0

Once again, I own nothing.