I knew what I needed. I needed to get away.

Since we had moved to Tennessee, I had not had a "girls" weekend- at least not with the people who truly knew me. Rose now lived in Chicago and Alice was back home in Atlanta. Even though we talked a few times a week, I had not been able to get away to see either of them. Memorial Day weekend was coming next month and I knew we had nothing plan with the kids. It was perfect- just one weekend to feel like myself again. The girl I missed. The girl I had not been in over ten years. The girls that I kept locked inside of me.

I picked up the phone to call in reinforcements.

" I knew you would be calling me today. How are you?" I never got a simple hello from Alice. It was like she knew when I was really down or needed just to vent.

" How would you like a visit from one of your oldest friends? How about...." I could not say anymore for the scream I heard on the other line.

"Bella, I can't wait! It has been too long! When?" I could even hear her bouncing in excitement on the other end. That girl's always had an overabundance of energy.

I had to laugh at her. A smile was already on my face. " Calm down Alice. Not for another month. I was thinking Memorial Day weekend. The kids will be out of school so it will be easier on Jacob. Plus I thought it would give Rose enough to plan to join us, just like old times....." I drifted, the excitement was starting to build in me.

" Yes, I can see it now. We are going to have so much fun! I'll plan the entire weekend." the little psychic would have everything planned to a "T".

"Alice, just limits the amount of time you plan on playing dress up with me and we'll be fine." I knew she would want to go shopping but I hated the hours sitting while she did my makeup and hair.

"Fine, just remember you will be on my turf so what I say goes! You got it!"

" OK, ok. So do you want to call Rose or should I ?"

" I will. I have a few ideas I want to run by her," she laughed.

"Alice, I love you, but nothing too wild, alright. I want to have fun, but we're not as young as we use to be."

" Speak for yourself, Bella! I still can do everything I could in college and more," she said with a huff. " Now, do you want Rose to come alone or bring one of her 'friends' ?"

" NO!. Just the three of us. Tell her she can go one weekend without one of her sex toys." We both laughed at that. Rose never settled down but she does have a boyfriend ……and a girlfriend.

" Ok, I love you, Bella and I can't wait to see you. Tell the kids and Jacob I said hi. Call me when you know what time you are leaving.

" Thanks Alice. You are truly a lifesaver."

With that my girl's weekend was set. Now I just needed to settle everything at home. Jacob would not be happy I was leaving him with the kids, but he could get over it. For once, I am standing up for what I want. I right now I want away from here.

The week before Memorial Day, I had everything packed ready to go. Although, I knew no matter what I took Alice would have different clothes for me to wear.

Little Leah did not understand if it was a "girls' weekend" why she was stuck with her brothers. Unlike me, she loved to play dress up with "Aunt" Alice. Alice was the best at making Leah feel like a princess. Seth did not want me to go either. JJ, however, was happy to have his dad around all weekend. I was would admittedly miss my kids, but I needed this. I needed my friends. I needed me.

Just like I thought, Jacob was not too excited about me being gone for a holiday weekend, but he knew I missed my friends. "Why don't they come here to see you. It's in the middle anyway," he reasoned.

" Jacob, the girls would love to see you and the kids, but they're both big city girls. A weekend in the mountains is not their idea of exciting. Plus, Alice has plans for us everyday and Rose's airfare was cheaper to Atlanta than Knoxville. I just, I don't know, I need a change of scenery and the big city for a few days." I sighed. As much as I did love Jacob, we did not really talk anymore. We just existed. I knew he really didn't understand.

" I know, I know. I will just miss you" as he wraps his arms around my waist. " I don't like sleeping in our bed alone."

I knew he was trying to be sweet, but somehow it just doesn't feel right the same as it used to.

" Jacob, you go on trips for the university all the time and sleep alone. I am here alone. What's the difference?" I knew the real answer to that question, he was off having fun those times while I was the one at home making sure everything was ok.

" Yeah but I don't have so many reminders of you." he nearly growled as he started kissing my neck.

I knew what he wanted, but I just had no desire at that moment. Once upon a time, the slightest touch from Jacob would get my blood flowing and I would melt. But that was a long time along. Now, even when I was aroused it wasn't the same. Sometimes, he could still get me off, sometimes I would just fake it until I could just take care of myself. When I first met Jacob I, had never even been touched by a guys and had never dreamed of touching myself.

That was the other part of my education from Alice and Rose.....

Flashback

It was the first Christmas since Jacob and I started dating that he was going back home and I was sulking.

"I don't know what I am going to do with myself when Jacob goes home," I said, feeling sorry for myself.

"What are you talking about? I mean, it's not like you will be here either. You are going to see your parents, right?" Alice asked very confused.

"Yeah, you some time away from each other anyways. I swear he is like a dog the heat sometimes." Rose was always complaining Jacob never let me have time for my friends anymore. And if I did, he was with me.

" Of course I'm going to see them. It's Christmas. But I not used to Jacob not being in bed with me anymore...." I trailed off.

Then my blush gave it all away.

" OH. MY. GOD." Rose screamed " You're worried about not getting laid! Our sweet little virginal Bella gets her first boyfriend and now she can't go a day without sex."

" I AM NOT!!" I denied, my traitor face getting redder and redder.

"What is the big deal? Just handle it yourself. You can manage for two weeks without the real thing. Hell, I manage all the time" Alice added like we were talking about shoes.

"I can't do that, Alice" I squeaked. I could not believe them.

"YOU HAVE NEVER MASTERBATED HAVE YOU?!" Rose laughed.

"No" I said in a whisper, my face on fire.

"Why the hell not?" Rose was laughing even louder.

" Um, well, I-I don't know how," I said even softer.

"Well I guess it is time for class. Everyone get your purse we are off to the store." clapped Alice

" What do you mean 'the store'? What does THAT have to do with shopping? And who said I wanted to learn how to do THAT?" I was getting so confused.

My parents never gave me the sex talk. The only thing they told me was not to do it and that if I did, I could get pregnant. Even though I had been on the pill since I was sixteen- because of problems I had each month- I was worried it would happen. Not that I had the opportunity before Jacob, but still. Jacob had taught me everything. He was my first real kiss, first love, first lover.

"Bella dear, we will show you everything. You could even surprise Jacob with a few things." Alice knowingly smiled.

I knew I was in for a long afternoon. Little did I know that it would be some of the most useful education I receive in all of my college career.

We all got in Rose's red convertible and were off. Neither said a word the entire drive. They just sat there with huge smiles on their faces. I was terrified of where they were taking me. I was in shock when we pulled into a normal looking brick strip mall a few miles from campus. This place didn't look scary. Rose parked in front of the end store, only you could not see in the windows. The sign was plain yellow with black letters, " 21 Forever". Nothing to indicate what was on the other side of that door.

Rose and Alice each grabbed an arm and pulled me inside. I nearly fainted when I saw the store's inventory. At first, it looked like any other modern bookstore. I saw one wall full of video cases, a few aisles of books and magazines. But as we made our way to the back, I saw the reason the girls came here. The entire back wall was covered in vibrators, dildos, lubes, you name it, it was there.

" Bella, welcome to our self help 101," Alice beamed. " We will find you anything and everything you need to "relieve" yourself while you are away from Jacob. And maybe a few things for when you are with him as well."

"I-I-I... What are those....things?" I had never seen anything like them.

About that time a cute clean cut blond guy about your age walks up." Those are most girls best friends" he joked. " Hey Alice, Rose, I see you've got a newbie with you. I'm surprise she's never been here before if she's a friends of you guys."

I swear if I could hide I would crawl in a hole and never come out at this moment.

"Hi, I'm Mike and how may I be in your service today?" as he looked me up and down.

" Mike shut up and let Alice and me handle this one. Poor Bella here is already scared to death. I don't think she is ready for your input or your 'service'," Rose stated.

" Bella, what a beautiful name to match a beautiful girl." Mike reached out to shake my hand "I owe the place so if you have any questions please come see me. However, these two could probably teach a class of most of my products in the store."

I just stared at him as I shook his hand. I didn't know what to say.

"Mike how did you know that's what we are doing today, teaching a class for Bella." Alice said almost too proudly.

"Well rest assured, Bella, you are in good hands. I should know right Rose?"

" Ugh, Mike, you will never let me forget that night will you." Rose hissed.

"Of course not, I am looking forward to the next one. I'll let you girls get to it and I see a customer that had a special order waiting. Nice to meet you." and with that Mike was gone.

I was still standing there speechless as I studied the wall. Alice goes over grabs a basket and starts filling it. "Rose which one should we start her out on battery operated or plug in."

"Battery first, the other might blow her mind too much" Rose declared with a smile.

As they continued their banter back on forth I just waited to escape. Finally after about a hour we checked out.

"You've got a lot of good choices here Bella, make me proud," smiled Mike as we walked out the door.

That is still the most embarrassing moment of my life.

"Jacob, the kids are in the other room. We can't....." I tired to reason as he continued his assault.

"That is what locks are for. We can hurry." he smiled into my neck.

I knew what that meant, what he wanted. I also knew that I would not get off. Jacob would think it was great. I would pretend to enjoy it, and he would be satisfied. I would continue to live the life expected of me- making sure everyone else was happy.

Five more days. Just five more days and I could live for me. Even if it was only for the weekend.