Conspiracy

Sanzo didn't care about eating fancy meals at expensive restaurants. He didn't care about tender, juicy steak and rich, flavorful wines. But most of all, he didn't care for the company. Gato wasn't so bad; at least he didn't talk very much. Hazel, on the other hand, was driving him up the wall with his constant chatter in that arrogant, lilting tone. It seemed like the only thing he could talk about besides the food was himself, and Sanzo was fed up with both subjects. He never would have imagined that anything could be worse than setting out on a journey with his previous companions, but this was definitely worse. Hazel was stupid, smug, and perverted enough for all three of them put together.

I swear, the moment I find out who's behind all this and where to find him, I'm going to leave these two in the dust. He picked at the thick steak on his plate, wondering how people could possibly eat this much. Don't these westerners eat anything besides meat? It made him wish for Hakkai's cooking, even if there were too many vegetables for his liking at times.Gojyo and Goku always hogged all the meat, anyway. Then Sanzo sighed and tried to think about something else. He casually sipped the wine, but it was too complex for his taste buds. It made him pine for a good bottle of sake. He felt like he'd do anything for the comforting taste of something familiar.

Aside form the menu, Hazel's useless prattle was starting to get on his nerves. It was annoying listening to him go on and on about all the great things he'd done lately. Then people started to recognize him and came over with wide-eyed looks on their faces, asking him questions and begging for his help. Hazel was more than happy to answer all of their questions and offer them anything they desired, as long as he got a chance to kill more youkai. Sanzo couldn't stand to listen to it another minute. He pushed his chair back form the table, got up, and walked toward the door. He hadn't even gotten halfway there when he heard that annoying voice.

"Sanzo-han! Are ya goin' somewhere?"

"I'm going out for a walk," he replied, in a dour tone that didn't leave room for questions. He walked out the front exit and into the night, slamming the door behind him. "Fuckin' idiot," Sanzo muttered to himself. There was only so much stupidity that he could stand in one day. He'd be back though, of course. He'd have to go back. He'd trail that damned cleric until he got to the bottom of whatever was going on, because no one was going to attack Goku like that and get away with it.

Sanzo stood under the veranda and lit a cigarette, taking a long, relaxed drag before stepping out into the street. He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care. As long as it was away from the restaurant. Away from the noise. Away from the people. Away from the rampant ignorance that plagued the entire establishment. He walked down the road, turned a few corners, and kept going farther and farther until the noise and the bustle died down. Before he even realized it, he was in a shady part of town-- a run-down block with decrepit buildings and a bunch of ugly, old hags lining the streets. He tried to avoid them as much as possible, but he passed a little too close to one and she reached out to cling onto his arm.

"Hey there, Gorgeous... you looking for someone to spend the night with?"

"Get off!" Sanzo commanded, roughly shoving her away. She screamed and tumbled backwards into a wall. Sanzo glared at her until he heard a familiar voice from somewhere off to the side.

"Sanzo?"

He turned to look, expecting to see anyone but, "Hakkai?"

"Ah... this is a bit awkward, isn't it?"

"What're you doing here?!"

"Ah ha ha ha."

"Idiot." Sanzo took a hit off his cigarette and shook his head. What the hell is there to laugh about? "I'm in town with that self-obsessed bishop and his pet bodyguard. We just got here a few hours ago and he's already got half the town eating out of his hands. I swear, there's not enough room in that restaurant for both him and his ego, let alone anyone else."

"Ha ha ha ha."

"Are you just going to stand there and laugh?" Sanzo asked. He wanted to know how they had ended up in the same town. And why, for that matter, Hakkai was out walking around without either of the other two idiots in tow. He was standing around in the worst possible area of this tiny little town and talking to a couple of prostitutes. It didn't make any sense. But they had been standing right next to him, so he had obviously been carrying on a conversation with them.

"We drove here several days ago, and have been staying in this town while trying to find jobs."

The answer made sense. Driving would have gotten them there much faster than Sanzo and the other two could go on foot. "Jobs?"

"Unfortunately, you didn't have the foresight to leave us your gold card before you left."

Sanzo exhaled. Of course, blame all your problems on me. Even though he knew that it really was irresponsible of him to leave them with nothing, he'd never actually admit that he felt even the slightest bit guilty. "That still doesn't explain what you're doing in the streets."

"I'm just doing a little research," Hakkai answered, as though his intentions were completely innocent.

Sanzo raised an eyebrow. "What kind of research?"

It was Hakkai's turn to exhale, loudly venting his frustration. He should have known that he wouldn't be able to get away with it. "We don't have anything left. Goku lost his job at the restaurant by eating all of the food...."

Sanzo snorted at that. It was just so typical of Goku. Somehow, it made him feel better knowing that the monkey was well enough to make a nuisance of himself.

"...and Gojyo got fired for flirting with a female co-worker."

"Tch... perverted bastard," Sanzo replied, with an annoyed look.

"I thought that I would threaten to sell my body in order to earn some money for us."

Sanzo stared into the creepy-looking smile on Hakkai's face, wondering if he was serious. "Don't even think about it!"

"Ah ha ha ha," Hakkai laughed. Sanzo glared. "I wasn't actually going to do it; I just want Gojyo to think that I will."

"You don't have to talk to whores for that."

"Oh really? I thought it would scare him more if he knew that I was asking for the going rate."

"Hakkai..."

"His behavior is inexcusable, Sanzo. You know that I would let this go if it were just another breach of my own trust, but in losing his job at a time like, this he's put all of our lives in jeopardy... for the sake of propositioning a woman. Should I simply let this stand?"

Sanzo took a few hits and thought about the matter. It was true that the kappa had been careless and needed to be taught a lesson. If he were around, he'd definitely give the bastard hell. On the other hand, Hakkai was downright scary when he was this upset. Listening to him rant made Sanzo feel very glad that he wasn't the perverted kappa right now. It was rare for Hakkai to get this angry about anything, but when he did become vindictive, terrible things were bound to happen. Gojyo was in a world of trouble. "What're you going to do about it?"

Hakkai forced a glaring smile onto his face and said, "I'd like to ask you for a favor."

*****

"Let me get this straight..." Sanzo sighed, expelling his smoke while his hand smoothed out the wrinkles in his brow. "You want me to hide my appearance, disguise my voice, and pretend to buy you so that he will think that you're really going to...?"

"Yes."

"I refuse."

"But, Sanzo--"

"I don't like it."

"Very well then," Hakkai replied. "I suppose I'll simply have to find myself another 'client'." In spite of the subtle wording, the statement was a very clear and intentional threat.

Sanzo glared. "You wouldn't dare."

"You could leave and hope that I don't." He delivered the line with a seemingly innocent smile.

"Fuck..." Sanzo's cursing was the sound of defeat. "I don't have a choice."

"Now that you've realized that, I'll go get the supplies."

Sanzo stood there with an annoyed expression on his face, watching as Hakkai calmly walked down the street in the opposite direction of where he'd come from. I could leave now... Sanzo thought. If he left, there was no way Hakkai would find him before Hazel's group left in the morning. On the other hand, he knew that Hakkai would hunt him down eventually, so he stood there and sighed to himself. "There's no way I can win."

The streets were fairly silent as he waited. Every now and then a customer would walk down the streets, meet with a street worker or two, and then leave. It was all done as quickly and quietly as possible. None of the prostitutes or their clients ever looked his way. Even amongst themselves, it seemed that they avoided eye contact as much as possible. It was a sick and desperate part of town and a deplorable line of work. Sanzo hoped that he never had to witness this kind of scene again.

Hakkai was back soon enough. It seemed as though he hadn't wasted much time getting what was needed. Sanzo had expected it to take a while for Hakkai to explain his absence, but considering the walk to wherever they were staying, he must have spent little time there. He didn't seem to have brought very much back with him. Sanzo stared wordlessly at the drab cloak he was offered while Hakkai rambled on about how to wear it and how long it would take for Gojyo to get to where they were.

Sanzo was only half-listening until Hakkai mentioned something about treating him roughly. After hearing that, Sanzo suggested the use of a safe word. Then Hakkai said that if Gojyo tried to interfere, he would handle it, and suggested that Sanzo go and wait somewhere to the side from where he would be standing. Even though Sanzo had absorbed all of the information, he was distracted by the simplicity of the cloak. He wondered to himself, Is this really all we have? He had expected a more elaborate scheme than this. It was much too simple. "It'll never work."

"Ah... why not?"

"He'll know that it's me."

"You think so? Even with the disguise?"

"We've been traveling together for over a year now, Hakkai."

"But if you change the tone of your voice, we should be fine."

"I'm not sure about that."

"Then what would you suggest?" Hakkai asked. He stood by with one hand on his chin, thinking it over while waiting for Sanzo to say something. "I would say to wear a mask or something, but I don't have anything like that."

"Hn... I'll handle it."

"You have a plan?"

"Yeah..." Sanzo shouldered the cloak; he was still going to need it. It'd be much easier to hide his clothing underneath its worn fabric than to change. He walked along the side of the alley while thinking about how he was going to make this plan work. On the way, he passed by the girl he'd pushed aside earlier, and it gave him an idea. "Hey." he called to her. "Proposition me again the next time I walk by."

"Are you serious?!" she demanded, looking angry and insulted. "I'd have to be crazy to let you push me down again!"

"Then I'll make it worth your while," Sanzo offered, rolling his eyes.

"Really?" She blinked and moved a few steps closer while Sanzo started to shuffle through his robes.

He was sure that he'd left a few bills in there somewhere, but they weren't in the pocket he usually put them in. No, not in here... So he checked another one. ...not in here, either. He tried a pocket over on the other side, but his hand fumbled its way into a meat bun before it could reach anything else. Sanzo pulled the thing out, sighed, and shook his head. "Hold this," he commanded, leaving it hanging from his fingers until the whore took it from him. There were two more of them in the pocket, and he tried to shuffle around them in order to get to the bottom.

"Do you have more of these?"

Sanzo looked up, and for the first time he noticed how scrawny the woman was. The skin was practically hanging off her bones. Her lips parted hungrily while her eyes were riveted to the small dough-covered glob of meat.

"Please... just give me a few more of these, and I'll do it!"

"Yeah," Sanzo agreed, fishing through his pocket for the other two. It was just as well; he couldn't seem to find the money anyway. Now that I think about it, didn't I spend my last few yuan on that newspaper yesterday? If he didn't have any change, there was no way for him to get any. There didn't seem to be any ATM machines in this rotten little town. Sanzo had never even thought about it, since Hazel paid for almost everything. He lifted the other two meat buns out of his pocket, realizing that they must be at least a week old because that was the last time he'd bought some to silence Goku. They were probably pretty stale, but he handed them to the woman anyway. Then he noticed that a few more prostitutes were closing in, eyeing the food in intense hunger.

"Hey, you can't eat all of that!"

"Give us some, too!"

"Stay back, it's mine!"

Sanzo backed away as the women came closer. The one he'd been talking to quickly shoved the first meat bun in her mouth, clutching the others to her flat chest. The other two ran at her, screaming and clawing and pulling her hair. "HEY!" Sanzo yelled, making them all stop and gape at him. He reached into another pocket and pulled out four more meat buns. The two without food prostrated themselves at his feet while the other one quickly finished her meal.

"Please, we'll do anything!"

"We'll let you push us down, too!"

"Yes, we'll let you do anything you want!"

"I'll give you a free blowjob!"

"You can fuck me all night, please!"

"Just... shut up and eat!" Sanzo cried, shoving two meat buns at each of them and backing away in mock terror. Then he heard Hakkai's laughter coming from somewhere to the side. Sanzo turned toward him, and he was standing there holding his stomach and laughing like it was just the funniest thing in the world. "Hey... don't laugh!"

"Ah ha ha... but the ladies adore you, Sanzo." Hakkai teased. "They're worshiping the very ground you walk upon, ha ha ha!"

"It's not funny, damn it!" Sanzo insisted. "SHUT UP!"

"Charitable Priest Sanzo, feeding the hungry!"

"YOU WANNA DIE?! Fuckin' bastard!"

"Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Sanzo stomped off in the direction he'd been headed before, fuming all the way. "Fuckin' idiots! They're just... so fuckin' annoying!" He walked several blocks down, but his angry march was interrupted when he saw a large dumpster overloaded with trash. He didn't think anything of it until he got close enough to spot what appeared to be a large wad of money sticking out from one of its corners. He walked up and grabbed it, thumbing through the bills. They looked to be brand-new, and in pristine condition. Barely touched by human hands.

"That money's fake." The blunt, yet melodious voice came from another whore who was leaning against a wall just up ahead. "Fucking asshole paid me in counterfeit bills. If I ever see him again, I'm gonna pour poison into his drink."

"Hn..." Sanzo examined the bills a second time. He couldn't see anything wrong with them, but he didn't know much about fake money to begin with. It would explain the reason that the bills were so clean and crisp. They had probably just been made not long ago. He decided that the fake money would be useful for fooling the perverted kappa, and he tucked it into his robe.

By the time he finally arrived at his destination, it had already been quite a while since he'd left Hakkai standing in the arranged spot. Sanzo had put plenty of distance between them, making sure that anyone who might be watching wouldn't think to associate him with Hakkai at all. He turned into another small alleyway and pulled the scripture off of his shoulders, tucking it away in a pocket. The chest plate presented a problem because it was much too big for that. He looked around to make sure that he was out of sight, and then he took the cumbersome thing off and slid it underneath a dumpster. Hopefully, no one would bother to look for anything under there until he came back.

He undid his robe and took his black shirt off as well; it was much too recognizable if anyone were to catch a glimpse of it. Then he put his robe back on, took the cloak Hakkai had given him, and draped it over his body. It hid pretty much everything, except for his face. I really don't know how Hakkai expected this to work. It was true that he could probably get it to cover the upper half of his head in shadow, and that the alley was dark, but the lower half of his face would still be clearly visible. If any light were to hit him, he would most definitely be found out.

What I have to do now is change my appearance, Sanzo thought. He knew just the spell to do it; all he had to do now was think of a face to change into. Who do I know that looks like a low-life perverted bastard? The first person who came to mind was Gojyo. As funny as it would be to see the perverted kappa balk at the sight of his own face, it was definitely not appropriate for the situation. They would be found out in a matter of minutes if he used a disguise like that. Besides, there was no way he ever wanted to look anything like Gojyo. There must be someone else I know who looks like a good-for-nothing scoundrel....

There had been plenty of suspicious-looking characters that they'd run into during their journey, but Sanzo could hardly remember any of their faces. Besides, he needed to think of someone that only he knew. If it was anyone that they had met during their journey, then Gojyo might recognize the face. That would ruin everything. Then Sanzo remembered a creepy-looking old man that he had met a long time before he had known any of the others. He could still remember the first time he had seen that guy, sitting by the window and smoking inside of a temple. He definitely looked like a demon, Sanzo thought. It wasn't an ideal disguise, but it would serve his purpose.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on the old man's face while clasping his hands and chanting a sutra. Sanzo could still remember what that face looked like, every wizened, age-spotted detail. It had been over seven years since the man had died, but the impression that he had left hadn't faded a bit. This was the same man who had laughingly compared him to Master Koumyou and had told him that he should be able to bear the weight of his own karma. He was also the same old man who had scolded him about inhaling too much, and had given him his first pack of Marlboros.

After the transformation was complete, Sanzo opened his eyes, which were now obscured by overhanging eyebrows. The hairs on his brow were now so long that they brushed against his cheeks. He brought his hands up to feel the thin, sagging skin on his face. "Shit! I forgot how fuckin' ugly that old bastard was!" Then he huffed in exasperation, because it was much too late to change his mind. He pulled the hood down over his face, finding that it covered up much more than he had thought it would. If he tucked his newfound beard down into his shirt, then maybe no one would notice that he'd turned himself into a hideous old man.

It was about time to start moving again, and Sanzo crept along the side of the buildings bit by bit while watching carefully for any sign of the kappa. There was nothing at first, so he stood and waited until he could sense the other's presence. He also moved a little closer to Hakkai. Not close enough that it looked like they were together-- he was still several dozen meters away. But he had to make sure that he got to Hakkai first. He couldn't let Gojyo get close enough to talk to Hakkai, or to notice the makeshift disguise he was wearing. Soon he saw the crimson-haired pervert loping down the alley like he didn't have a care in the world.

Sanzo started off to the side, stopping briefly to shove the prostitute from before-- who made good on her word to proposition him again-- out of the way as he resolutely stomped forward. He walked up right between Hakkai and the approaching kappa, trying to make himself look as large and threatening as possible in spite of the fact that he was shorter than both of them. Hakkai looked at him with a well-played gasp of surprise, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him so as not to look up at Gojyo. Sanzo wondered if Hakkai could see what he'd done to his face. They were close enough, but there was light was shining from behind him which might obscure the view.

"Hey... how much for you?"

Hakkai smiled pleasantly and said, "That depends on the nature of your business with me."

Sanzo almost shivered with disgust at the tone in his voice, that sarcastic ire. He must be really pissed off at that guy.... And for the second time that night, Sanzo was very glad that he wasn't Gojyo.

"For full benefits, I generally charge 1200 yuan per night."

"Shit," Sanzo replied. Idiot! What the fuck are you trying to pull with a price like that?! "You'd better be a looker if you're gonna charge that much," he huffed, and decided that he'd better get in character really quick. I'm supposed to be a useless, perverted bastard... and a perverted bastard would want to have a look. He reached up and pulled the hood down from Hakkai's head. "Not bad, but I wonder what else is under that cloak of yours."

He saw a slight twinge in Hakkai's lips. The fuckin' bastard was probably trying like hell not to laugh at him for what he'd just said. This is just a game, right? It's not like we've never role-played before.

"If you'd like to follow me to a more secluded area, I can show you," Hakkai offered, somehow managing to regain his composure, even out the tone in his voice, and make his smile as fake as ever.

Sanzo followed him into an alley, wondering what Gojyo was doing right now. He's probably shitting bricks, the fuckin' bastard. Once they were far enough away that he was absolutely certain that Gojyo couldn't hear them, he stopped and said, "Hey... how far are we going to take this?"

"We'll see," Hakkai quietly replied, unfastening his cloak and letting it fall off his shoulders. "I'm not quite done with him yet."