Rey found herself gazing at her reflection on the surface of the deep, azure waters that surrounded her. Because it had been a stormy day, the absence of the natural light allowed herself to see her reflection in the first place. Her hair, styled in her usual three buns down the back of her head, was messy from her constant training. Baby hairs sprouted everywhere, and she figured the humidity of this new planet wasn't helping either. That was one thing she was grateful about Jakku-it was a dry heat.

Vanity aside, what worried her the most was the dark circles underneath her eyes. She touched them gently with the pads of her fingertips as if they would darken with contact. She hadn't been sleeping well since having constant dreams of her time spent with Kylo. Ever since she had that first dream, new memories appeared from nowhere nearly every night. They were like pieces to a giant puzzle of her early life, but she still had no idea how they connected with each other. She had enough faith in herself that she would eventually put them all together, but as for right now, she promised herself she would put her time and energy into training. Her training was something that had to come first. She may have had history with Kylo (Ben?), but she would make sure she was the author of her future.

The dreams were so powerful and vivid, however, that once she woke up, she had a tough time falling back asleep. She usually turned to training to pass the time until morning, wondering why these memories only came to her while she slept. She supposed they did because when she was asleep, she was vulnerable. Weightless, with all her mental guards down. She was susceptible and exposed to the entire spectrum of sentiments she felt when she was younger. The forgotten or old emotions she experienced hurt the most-so much so that the pain fell into her bones.

She assumed these memories were coming back to her after she broke through the mental dam that had been placed there originally. She also assumed it was put there by Kylo, but she didn't know yet. It could've been anyone at this point, but she could feel his energy through the memories. It was as if he left his thumbprint on her memories . . . a trademark of his doing. Or perhaps, Rey mused, the energy was like the vibrant color of his lightsaber-intimidating, but ultimately unstable.

Unsure.

Rey turned her eyes up to the sky, noticing how thick and pregnant the clouds were with rain. It looked like it was about to storm, but that's how it looked nearly all the time. She knew Master Luke would make her train in the violent weather anyway, but it was nothing like the snow she had dueled in months ago. She gripped her lightsaber tightly, which was sheathed and next to her on the ground. She was glad she was becoming more fluid with the weapon, but she had much more progress to make. Especially if she was going to fight Kylo again.

On the snowy planet, she discovered that although he was a fierce, experienced opponent, he often second guessed himself. Rey noticed that he had an odd sense of loyalty to Snoke-he was like a father figure to the knight. This thought caused a smaller memory to flash through her mind and it was the one where Ben opened up to her one day unexpectedly. Rey was still on the younger side, so she remembered the feeling of not completely understanding what he was saying to her. Ben explained that he didn't feel loved by his parents, that he felt abandoned. He briefly mentioned he had a new paternal figure in his life, but he didn't drop any names.

Rey still didn't understand how he could feel this way towards Leia and Han. She had met them and they were wonderful people. She was sure they had some flaws-no one could escape that-but, they both had big hearts. They were two people who had treated her with such kindness. Where was this negative attitude of his coming from?

Her opinion of him was complicated now more than ever. If she translated her emotions from her dreams correctly, she had cared for him once.

Maybe she still did?

They were friends, companions-they searched for solace in one another during the varying challenging times they went through. They spent time with each other, even shared secrets. They decided to forget about the world around them and focus on each other. Except for dealing with people back on Jakku, she had never had that type of relationship with anyone before. After those years of her life, she had been alone. Completely alone. Why did she deserve that kind of punishment?

Lips falling into a deep grimace, Rey gripped her lightsaber even tighter. Why would he take those normal, humanistic memories away from her? What made him think he could? He had no right, none whatsoever. This dangerous emotion caused some pebbles by the water rise in the air. The movement made Rey look over at them and upon her realization that she was the one doing it, they dropped back to the earth. Master Luke always said rage was too powerful of emotion for anyone. And now she understood. It was like eating a succulent desert-delectable in the moment, but unhealthy for you in the end.

She also understood why Kylo used this emotion and connected with it all too easily. In a way, he had had his life stolen away from him. And besides, after she calmed down, she realized he most likely took her memories away to protect her. She was sure he didn't want to, but it was his only option.

She suddenly wondered what he was doing now. Was he training? Had she really hurt him? Was his scar deep? She blinked, her eyes widening slightly. Was he . . . dead? Had she killed him? No, she thought, certainly you would feel that through the Force.

That thought caused her heart to jump inside of her chest. She had a connection with him that was transcendent of time, and since the memories had been coming back to her, it was growing stronger and stronger. She would never admit this to anyone, but she swore she could hear him in her thoughts. It especially happened when she trained with Master Luke. If she kept her side open or her lunges were clumsy, she would hear whispery words of advice. It distracted her for a couple of seconds, but helped her improve. She was confused, but grateful because it reminded her of the times when they would train together.

Sometimes, as she would drift off to sleep, she could feel the emotions of his thoughts. They weren't happy, but like her, he occasionally had one pleasant dream. It was the one where they played games at sunset outside. He always felt carefree and she sadly discovered he would only smile and laugh during those times. They reminded him of the childhood he never had. Why couldn't I have been there for him like he had been there for me? Maybe he would be different. Happier.

If she was lucky, she could feel where he was as well. She didn't like to go there, however, because it was a dark place and if she wasn't careful, the malicious energy would start to suffocate her or belabor her breathing. It felt as if she had been caught by someone and they were pushing her out. He was there, nevertheless, living somehow. No, not living. Surviving, Rey corrected herself. No one could or should live like that.

Rey rose to her feet as the soft wind off of the water blew some small hairs into her eyes. She clipped her lightsaber at her side, feeling Master Luke call her back to her training. She didn't think her break would be filled with thoughts of Ben, but she knew she'd have to mull them over at some point. She looked out at the horizon, seeing some faint light of the sun breaking through the clouds. It made her think of what Master Luke always said to her: have hope in others and always try to search for the best in them.

For Rey, she didn't have to search too hard to find what she was looking for in Ben. It was there . . . it just needed some time.

And hope.