BANG! BANG! BANG! Alfons hurriedly ran a comb through his still-damp hair, checking one last time in the mirror to make sure his shirt was clean and his tie was straight.

"And you say I take a long time to primp. Get out here, Alfons! Unless you want me cooking tonight... and I don't know if the emergency room would be able to cure indigestion that serious." Leave it to Ed to use food as a last resort. Well, if he didn't look at least halfway decent by now, he wasn't going to improve anytime soon.

"Coming! Don't go near that stove!" Ed barked out a laugh, definitely in agreement.

"Don't worry. I dunno how you even turn the thing on." Alfons exited to see Edward, standing impatiently outside the bathroom door expectantly. He saw Alfons's outfit and grinned.

"Damn, where the hell are you headed tonight?" Alfons's face reddened.

"Um, actually, I met a girl-" Ed's eyes widened and the cringingly familiar smirk set itself onto his face.

"You dog! I didn't actually think you could do it... Alfons's grown up and got himself a date! HA!"

"Hey- I don't see you going out every night, Mr. Ladies' Man." Ed's face darkened.

"Yeah, yeah. So, how'd you meet her in the first place?" Alfons grinned in spite of himself.

"One of her relatives works at the University I went to before I moved here- I met her a while ago, when she was trying to convince the Headmaster to let her apply. Didn't work, of course; women aren't scientists, you know that-"

"I wouldn't say that for sure," Ed interrupted, but Alfons continued on anyway.

"Anyhow, I ran into her a few days ago- turns out she's visiting someone here for the week. Actually, she's going to be here in twenty minutes or so, and then we will go out to dinner. I believe Ms. Gracia has leftovers from last night, so don't complain about starving. And can you at least try to be friendly, as a favor to me? Just this once?" Asking Ed to act social was like telling a German Shepherd to put on a pink bow and be toted around in a women's handbag, but it was worth a shot.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Does this mean I have to change clothes?"

Alfons was just about to set the final dish on the table when there was a polite knock on the door.

"Hey, Ed, can you let her in for me? I just have to find my other shoe..." Ed, who was currently lounged out over the expanse of the sofa and reading a book on advanced Physics, didn't even bother to look up. Alfons was pretty sure the house could catch on fire and Edward wouldn't notice.

"Fine, thanks for the help." He rolled his eyes, ran his fingers through his hair one last time, and opened the door with a smile.

She had gotten so pretty- long blonde hair and sky blue eyes- and, as a bonus, she was even wearing a dress with her hair down. Alfons was pretty sure he had never seen her without her hair tied back and wearing mens' trousers.

"Hello, Alfons. Thank you for taking me out tonight."

"Pleasure is mine. Here, come inside." He noted dryly that Edward had yet to relinquish his roost on the couch.

"Um, Ed, this is the girl I was telling you about. Can you move so she can sit down, please?" Edward sighed and sat upright, all without taking his eyes off of the text.

"Edward is my roommate, and we're on the same research team at the University," Al explained. "Please forgive his lack of social skills."

"It's no problem- nice to meet you though, Edward." As if struck by lightning, Ed's eyes widened and he visibly twitched. The book he was reading dropped to the floor with a resounding thud.

He slowly turned to face Alfons and his date. Ed paled, his eyes growing wider than Alfons thought was possible. He started to tremble- it looked as if he was about to be sick. Alfons cleared his throat, wondering just what had been in Ed's coffee this morning.

"Um, Ed, you okay?" No response. "Well, let me introduce you two. Edward, I'd like you to meet my date, Miss Winfried Rosenbell."

Winfried extended her hand with a smile. "Please, call me Winny."

Should I continue this? Let me know- I would love feedback! The next oneshot I post will be much longer, I promise. Thanks for reading!