First of all, before I start, thank you all so much for those of you who reviewed the first chapter
I loved it and I can't thank all of you enough for the support and great comments, you all really help me. .
WARNING! PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU START CHAPTER 2!
As you all know, this story is about a drug addiction to crack, a drug that makes the user extremely hyper-active. I am aware that Crona is not at all, hyper, energetic, etc. I've watched the Soul Eater series thousands of times, and I know Crona's personality. Based on the research I have done before starting the story, the drug itself makes you feel confident, hyper, energetic and in general very happy. During the initial 'high' the user talks extremely at a rapid rate, feels as if they are 'on top of the world' and the user during that time has increased sexual desire (don't worry, there is no lemon). I am aware that this is out of character for Crona, and I just wanted to let you guys know that the drug itself making him feel hyper and the exact opposite of Crona's original personality. I just wanted to let all of you know, because that will be happening in this chapter.
I am aware Crona isn't a hyperactive maniac, so don't throw a fit.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater, Atsushi Okubo does.
He that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts benighted walks under the mid-day sun; himself is his own dungeon.
-John Milton
Loud, harsh and excruciating.
The constant repetition of the same harsh sound, breaking through to my whisked away mind; I hear the raw cries of my name, pleading, longing wanting an answer. Hoping, they can just hear my voice, any type of answer.
Why have they disrupted my peaceful serenity?
Why do they need me?
Taking another intake of the indulging substance, sending chills radiating up my spine, the rush, and the most wondrous rush spiraling into my brain like a ravished tornado. A smile turns around my face again, manic, insane grin, a grin that keeps growing.
I feel so… so… powerful.
All my worries, all the nightmares, all my anxiety, every regret, that has kept me chained, has finally loosened. The chains have finally come undone from my scrawny body, no longer holding me as a prisoner to it, releasing me, letting my body finally let go of its turmoil and finally be free.
Free of the pain… all the damn pain, slowly melting away…
The rain cloud, finally being lifted, opens its depressive dark clouds to finally reveal the sunlight, the glorious and great sunlight finally shining its light upon me. Every little raindrop, melting away to vapor; the lightning no longer striking and hitting my body with sheer force; and the thunder, no longer hurting my ears and making me tremble in fright. The storm is gone and I am finally witnessing the sunlight once again.
Everything… lifting… no more anxiety… no more nightmares…
No more rainclouds, no more chains, no more weight to sulk on my shoulders and break my back with every step.
Everything is gone.
There is no more left, but the tingling that flutters in my stomach as I breathe it in.
There is no more left, no more sorrow, no more depression, no more guilt, no more regrets, nothing that can come back and haunt me. There are no more memories that haunt my mind; there are no more nightmares that invade my dreams and breakdown the wall of my sanity. All of it is just gone… disappearing like a flash of lighting, gone in a crack.
Everything… just gone.
"Crona! Open up the damn door!"
The voice kept crying, getting more desperate at each break. For a while I just sat there, blinking mindlessly, listening to every painful knock, every raw cry and the harsh banging the slammed into my door, just listening.
"Come on Crona! Open up."
I just kept listening.
"Please, answer Crona I'm really getting nervous. Open the door!"
The stranger just kept throwing themselves at the door, shouting over and over again.
"I know you're in there, just answer!"
Maybe…
"Crona, please!"
Maybe… maybe they want it too…
"Why won't you answer Crona?! Open up the door!"
Maybe they want to feel it…
"What are you doing in there? Open up the door!"
Maybe they want to… maybe they want to be happy… just like me.
Slowly, I worked myself into a grin and started to laugh. It was more like a howl, a high pitched, ear piercing howl of a Hyena, insane, and uncontrollable. I just kept laughing into the room, throwing my head back in a mindless grin, cackling, howling manically into the lifeless walls of the living room, echoing as if the walls were laughing with me.
Maybe… they want to feel this too... The spine tingling rush, the wondrous mind-numbing chills, maybe that's what they want…
To be happy… to feel such a… magnificent… feeling…
Pure happiness… How could they resist?!
I hoisted myself upward to my now trembling legs, the glass pipe clenched between my white fingers.
Only excitement…
Still giggling like a small child at Christmas, I walked rather quickly to the door, the butterflies whirling around in frenzy, fluttering, tickling my insides. I threw my hand at the door knob, my hands shaking, and my palms miserably slipping on the brass knob.
They want this… they want to feel it…
Slipping the pipe between my numb lips, I tremblingly grasp the doorknob. Grinning from ear to ear in sheer anticipation, my mind racing with great thoughts, I hear a slight 'click' and open the door
Standing in the door way, white in the face; exhaustion still heaving in her breath, her shoulders hunched over, heaving, gasping for breath it seemed. Her appearance looked almost barbarian, her normally straight blonde pigtails frizzy, and flyways sticking up like corn-stalks in summer. Beads of sweat was dripping from her forehead, making the tips of her bangs damp and stick to her forehead. Her fists clenched and knuckles white, somewhat bruised from the ferocious knocking. Her normally calm and joyful face was twisted into a look of anxiety, making her normally happy demeanor seem oblivious, the normal smile she had was locked into a straight line; her ice blue eyes, once engulfed in happiness, now surging with solicitude. There was no joy, no calm smile, no happiness flickered on her face, and all that remained was the heavy weight of indignation, which was weighing down on her thin shoulders.
Maka
I always thought she was happy. How she would always laugh and smile, brightening up the darkest of rooms, lifting a deep weight off of someone's shoulder and making every fallacious situation seem right. She always made the angriest people smile, the most serious and uptight would start giggling, the most broken… she made them all smile. She made me, a depressive, hopeless and lifeless soul smile. I never thought I'd see her here… I always thought she was the joyful, blithesome girl who never got down at any moment.
Maybe… Maybe I was wrong…
Maybe deep inside she was a broken soul, crying out for help, hiding her great depression behind that smile. Maybe she was sad, upset and faked all her smiles, all those laughs and happy words, maybe they were all just affectation to make her seem joyful so she could hide her true sadness. Maybe all those smiles were lies, maybe she wasn't truly happy just trying to hide her pain from others, and she was trying to prevent others from pitying her.
Was it all a lie?
If she isn't happy, then this… she truly needs this… this wondrous substance…
I take a deep breath and grin ear to ear, my mind swimming with great excitement, knowing she wants this substance. She wants to feel the joy I feel! She wants the butterflies in her stomach, the great tingling feeling in her legs, and the mind numbing chills that radiate up your spine with every intake! Oh how wonderful!
She wants the joy, the happiness… She wants to feel this…
At my own thoughts I begin to giggle and titter mindlessly out into the poorly lit hallway, echoing into the hallway hearing my manic bursts of laughter come laughing back at me only to shortly disappear as ash would in the wind. Gaining somewhat control from my guffaw, I forcibly grab her by her heaving shoulders, my trembling hands holding a rather ironically strong grip on her. She glowered a frown of bewilderment at my sudden grasp, confused, and somewhat frightened at my actions.
All she wants… all she… wants… is to be… to be happy…
She kicked and squirmed, grunting as she tried to escape the iron hold my hands had on her. I backed her into the wall parallel to my room, my grip intensifying as she struggled, pushing, kicking; throwing punches, miserably attempting to escape from my iron grip. I couldn't help letting a grin slip onto my face as I gripped the pipe between my trembling fingers and forcing it upon her, pushing it in her face, she grunted and gagged.
"Come on..." I whispered my manic grin growing, "I know how much you want this…"
Her face contorted at my words, rage shaping the lines of her struggling face, pushing, shoving all miserable. "Get off me…" she grunted "Get off me, Crona!" she heaved, turning her head away from the pipe. "Let go of me!" She cried trying to push the burning pipe away from her mouth.
No, this is wrong…
"Why are you resisting?!" I cried desperation had crept into my voice, betraying the twinges of distress that were beginning to emerge. "This is what you want! Isn't it?!"
She grabbed onto me and pushed me off of her, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" she cried before darting for the door of the apartment.
No…
I chased in straight after her, my legs shaking and sweat pouring down my face in buckets. "Why are you resisting?!" I cried, "You want to be happy don't you?! This is what you want!" She turned her head; breathing hard her face was now contorted even more into rage, no longer fright, and those ice blue eyes surging with red hot rage. I took my chances and tackled her onto the couch. I stared down at her struggling, a grin slipping onto my sweating face. I pushed it in her face, she grabbed onto my wrists attempting to push my arms away from her.
"Try it!" I cried, my voice becoming raw reeking with desperation. "You'll be happy! All your troubles will disappear; all your worries will fade away to ash! Isn't that what you want!?"
"No!" she screeched, struggling to keep the burning pipe away from her face, "Get that away from me!" she dug the back of her head into the couch cushion as if it would suck her away from the smoking pipe.
This is wrong… she wants… she wants to be happy… this is all wrong!
She kicked and screamed under me, her cries becoming raw and desperate, anger echoing on the walls coming screaming back at her, "What is wrong with you?!"
At her cries I laughed, insanely demented, the screeches of a Hyena in the savannah, my smile turning from ear to ear, my features those of a mad man. A demented grin, howling at her struggles, sweat pouring down my face, the lines of desperation deepening sinking down into my soul, each chord of my sanity snapping, cracking, breaking like the strings of an old guitar.
"You'll be happy Maka! All of your troubles will be gone, every weight will be lifted, and everything will be gone!"
She clenched her teeth, struggling, grunting, "Get it…" she started, gasping for breath, "Get it away from me!" she cried her voice cracking into high pitches.
This is wrong… she's never mad at me…
Struggling, pushing, throwing punches, doing anything to get me off of her, all miserable attempts, all failing, narrowly missing me. I keep cackling, throwing my head back, and my voice becoming scratched and raw, insane demented, reeking with desperation and pure insanity. "This is wrong! You should want this! You are depressed and lonely Maka, this will make you happy!"
At my words she grunts and pushes me off, sending me flying to the floor. For a couple seconds I laid there, my head spinning, my legs tingling and the world around me buzzing. I was sweating, trembling, panicking, cold sweat poured in buckets down my scorching cheeks.
Why is she resisting?! This all wrong!
I could hear her panting, sweating, shaking, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" she panted.
All she wants…
I rose to my feet, trembling, and the hot glass pipe still clenched between my sweaty fingers. She looked at me, her eyes enveloped in pure aggravation, sweat pouring down her forehead, her blonde hair falling out of its natural pigtails, her face white and teeth clenched together like two calcium bars locking her voice from screaming out.
Is to be happy…
I couldn't help a grin slipping on my face, spreading from ear to ear, and I laugh.
Raw, breathless, maniacal, insanely demented, the same features of man in a strait jacket in a padded cell, crazy, cracked and laughing at the pure nothingness around him.
I stumble towards her, still induced and cackling, "You're lonely Maka… I know you're troubled; this… this can fix all your troubles… Everything! Everything can be fixed! All your worries, all your anxiety, all your night mares and horrors, the little monsters that hide inside you, everything can be erased! The weights on your shoulders will be lifted, everything will be gone!" I grab onto her wrists, desperation clenching tightly onto my grip, "Isn't that what you want!? Isn't that what you need?! I know you're desperate for happiness, just take one breath and you'll be whisked away!" I cried, my voice twanging, changing pitches with every syllable, cracking; snapping in half like an egg dropped onto the linoleum floor, spread out, cracking, and everywhere. "You'll be happy! That's what you want! Isn't it what you want?!" I cry shaking her back and forth, my hands trembling and sweating with desperation.
This is wrong… all of this is wrong!
"Crona stop this!" she cried, her voice raw, "I don't know what's wrong with you, I don't know why you're doing this, but you have to stop!"
This is all wrong… "Why?! Don't you want to be happy!? Don't you want the nightmares to be gone, don't you want all your sorrows in life to go away!? Don't you want it?!"
"Crona," she glowered in anger, "Whatever you're trying to give me; it isn't good for you! It isn't good, Crona, it's not going to make you feel any better!"
"All you say is a lie!" I yelled, "It makes everything so much better! I'm happy, isn't that what you all want!?"
She paused for a moment, glaring at my twisted and pallid face, reeking with pure madness. "Crona, I know you suffered a lot, but it's not going to go away! Whatever you have in that pipe isn't going to do anything!"
She's wrong… this is wrong… I'm finally happy; I can finally smile and laugh like they can! Isn't that what Maka wants?! Why is she yelling at me?
"Isn't this what you wanted?! I can finally smile and laugh like all of you! I can finally feel something instead of a cold lifeless soul! Isn't that what you wanted!? Isn't that what you all wanted?!"
"Crona, whatever you have in that pipe, it isn't going to help you any! It's only going to make everything worse!" she yelled, "Please, Crona everything is going to get worse, it isn't going to make you happy!"
…Why is she yelling at me?! I thought she wanted this…
With my hands still shaking, I loosen my grip and take my hands off of her. Her shirt now stained with sweat, where my hands had locked on her shoulders. She looked at me, her knuckles white and sweaty, she was trembling, not with worry or fright, but with pure, red hot, indignation. I remember that look, I remember that face. It was the face of anger and disappointment; I have only seen that face one time before, when I sulked in that ditch after betraying Shibusen. Where she yanked me by the collar and almost punched me in the face, after admitting to putting one of Medusa's snakes in Marie's drink, causing Professor Stein to fall further into madness.
She was so angry, so disappointed.
I then collapsed to my knees, my head hanging lifelessly, as if someone had cut the strings on a puppet. My hands trembling and white, with the pipe still clenched between my lifeless fingertips. I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't cry, I wasn't panicking, I had no idea what to say or do. I could only hear a light buzzing reverberating through my ears.
I couldn't face Maka, but I could feel her cold glare, burning in the back of my mind, forever creating an indent on the side of my brain. She was angry, frustrated, disappointed and many other terrible emotions were surging through her head.
Disappointment… anger…
Without a word, she knelt down onto the floor and snatched the pipe from my fingertips.
What is she doing?
She rose to her feet, holding the pipe tightly in her palm, I could only look up for a second, until I could finally figure out what was going on.
No… She wouldn't…
Her eyebrows narrowing, glaring at the glass object, as if she could burn through it with her glare; she glanced at me for a moment, before letting it go.
No! Please, don't do it!
All I could do was sit there and watch, paralyzed. It seemed as if time had slowed down, for that few moments the world was moving in slow motion.
No… Why… why are you doing this?!
The pipe made contact with the floor with anything but grace. Cracking, then slowly breaking off into bits of glass too tiny to glue back together. Smashing, spreading, and falling into oblivion on the hard wood floor, forever gone, never to be resurrected.
The buzzing stopped.
Another chapter done and done!
Well, it took about 4 weeks but this chapter is finally done, I truly hope it was worth your wait and I truly thank you for your patience.
For those of you who haven't figured it out, this whole chapter was basically going through the stages of a crack high; the lighting, the initial 'high', and then the crashing. Throughout this chapter Crona experienced the phases of a crack high and how it affects a person.
I do want to thank Kokoro no kuro for helping me with some of the parts of this chapter. We both sat down and role-played the whole thing through Private Messaging, with a few changes, she really helped get my brain going and encouraged me to keep going, despite the fact I was ready to give up and throw my computer across the room and smash it repeatedly with a sledge hammer.
I have also been keeping up with her story, which she updated yesterday, Kagome the Huntress, which in my personal opinion, I thought was very well done. In addition to this story maybe you guys can give her some love.
I hope this was worth the wait and I really hope I pleased your hungry minds.
Well I should probably get started on Chapter 3; I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and enjoyed a bit of Crona being a hyperactive, desperate and rather insane maniac.
I really hope this is good enough for all of you ;)
Bye!