Tourniquet Chapter 3: But Only Brought More, a victorious fanfic

Tourniquet

Digidestend Angel

I do NOT own Victorious

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Chapter Three

But Only Brought More

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I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear – Whisper

…

Beck gulped. "Cat…Cat was the one who came in."

"Why?"

"She…she…she saw me practically run in there, looking…frustrated. She wanted to check on me. So she went in…and…" Beck shook his head and sat up straight. "I can't talk about this anymore. It's too much. I don't want to remember seeing her face at that moment in time. She was heartbroken and…" Beck trailed off.

"Beck."

"What?"

Lane stared at the wild haired boy. "You promised Cat you talk about this."

Beck sighed deeply. "Yeah…yeah, I know I did."

"Beck, what happened when Cat saw you?"

Beck's head snapped up with the bloody razor frozen on his already bloody arm that was out in front of him. When he saw her angelic face filled with horror, he dropped the razor and immediately tried to calm her down.

He shook his head. "Cat, please, don't be angry with me!" He pleaded.

Cat shut the door behind her when she came in and leaned against it. She put her hands to her mouth and was trying to control her breathing. Beck stayed quiet, letting her get her breathing regular again.

When she calmed down, she immediately walked to the sink that was in the room and forcefully turned it on. She grabbed Beck's arm and yanked him over and put his arm under the freezing, cold water. Beck hissed in pain, but stayed where he was being held. Cat spent the next 10 minutes cleaning his arm and stopping the bleeding. When she turned the water off, she went to the shelf and found a first aid kit.

"Sit down." She ordered softly, but firmly.

Beck nodded and sat down on the floor. Cat kneeled down in the front of him and opened the kit. She rubbed the disinfectant cream on his arms with her soft hands with a gentle touch. No matter what though, it still hurt him and it stung. He hissed in pain again, but bit his lip till it bled so he wouldn't cry out in pain.

Cat showed no sign of apologizing.

Soon, when she felt his cuts were safe from being infected, she took out the gauzes and bandages. It took some time and effort, but she eventually had his arm bandaged. Quickly, she dabbed his bleeding lip and cleaned that.

When her bloody hands went limp on her lap, Beck held his arm close to his chest, since it was still painful to even move.

Cat sniffled and he saw tears running down her cheeks. She was staring at her blood stained hands. He figured that's what traumatized her most is seeing her best friend's blood on her hands.

"Cat." Beck said simply.

Cat didn't acknowledge it as she forced herself to her feet and walked to the bloody sink. She took the time to wash the blood off her hands and cleaned the sink. When she turned the water off, she dried her hands and then gripped the sink's edges.

Beck heard her soft sobs.

"I…I won't do it again." Beck said, still on his place on the dirty ground.

Cat let out a louder sob as she turned to him and flung herself in his arms. He ignored his pain on his arm as he wrapped her in a protective embrace. He kissed her head as he rocked her back and forth, holding her in his lap.

"Never again, babygirl." Tears left his eyes too. "I won't do this ever again."

"I promised never to cut again." Beck said simply.

"What happened after that?" Lane urged, still trying things down.

Beck gulped. "Nothing. We sat like that for hours until we knew all the students left for home. Cat helped me up and we grabbed our stuff, walked to her house, did homework, and we had dinner. It was different, of course. Cat was silent and in her own little world. That's…that's when she changed overnight. Seeing me like that…it traumatized her." Beck closed his eyes. "She wasn't the same after that day. After I left her house that night…I hardly recognized her the next day."

"How'd she change?"

"Well…besides her hair color that went from brown to velvet red…she became this naïve young girl, who never saw the bad in anything." Beck recalled. "She suddenly had this free spirit vibe around her and it touched everyone, especially me. If she wasn't innocent before, she definitely was right then and there. I didn't understand it, but her mom explained it to me because knew what her daughter was doing. Her mom didn't know I was cutting though, Cat had just told her she was scared of something she couldn't tell her…anyways, Cat wanted to shut her real self out from the world. She wanted to hide the pain she was feeling. When I did bring it up to Cat, though, she just reminded me that I promised her. So I kept to my word. I also asked her why she colored her hair so suddenly…her answer killed me."

"What was it?"

"She said "So the world's mean people and hurtful things don't recognize me anymore" and then she went on to something else happy."

"How'd you feel?"

"After all of that change…I felt better." Beck let out a little smile. "Cat always kept me upbeat, she never left my side at school, unless for PE. Jack actually stopped burning himself after I told him my story. I don't know the reason why HE stopped, but I'm glad. He and I became decent friends."

"What about the scars?"

"I kept them hidden long enough from my parents, who's fighting eased up, until the cuts healed and disappeared, so they never found out." Beck told him. "I went back to wearing my short sleeve shirts, feeling so much better and relaxed, and I just never felt so great."

"So everything was perfect for 3 whole years?" Lane asked, a bit in disbelief.

Beck smiled. "Yup. Sure, there were a few bumps, but it was always nothing I couldn't handle with my happy little redhead by my side. We met Jade, Andre, and Robbie...I personally hated Jade, and she hated me, but she and Cat bonded so well suddenly, so I tolerated her. Robbie was funny and Andre became one my closest friends. Cat has always been my best friend and always is there for me. There was NEVER a time when she told me to leave or was too busy for me. She dropped everything for me. She put me before herself. No matter what, I was number one in her life and she was number one in mine."

"You two depended on each other a lot."

"Yes, we did." Beck remembered. "We were…inseparable."

"You didn't confess to Cat that you loved her?"

"No, not for those three quiet years." Beck admitted. "I was still rocky on the romantic love part. I knew that I wanted to always be with her forever."

"Beck…what changed three years later?" Lane asked. "What happened last month?"

Beck gulped. "I…this time, Lane, I really can't talk about it. Please don't use Cat against me on this either. I know Cat wants me to open up about this, but I can't. It's getting to be too much."

"So since I'm putting too much on you, are you going to cut after this?" Lane asked, sounding a bit harsh.

Beck had wide eyes.

He had been thinking about wanting to cut.

He was having such an urge to grab something sharp and cut his arms.

"I don't want to though." Beck whispered. "I…I really just want to be with Cat."

"But you'll go back there and what will you tell Cat?" Lane asked. "Are you going to lie to her face and tell her you told me everything and you feel better?"

Beck glared. "No! I'll never tell Cat a lie!"

"Then you need to suck it up and talk to me, because if you don't, you're relationship with the girl you say you love will go downhill." Lane told him in a vicious, but serious voice. "I don't want you to fall, Beck. I can see you do big things in the future. I really can. But I know that you won't be able to without Cat by your side."

Beck had tears. "I know…" He sobbed quietly to himself.

Lane waited patiently.

"He did this."

Lane raised an eyebrow, but picked up the pen to write. "Who?"

Beck clenched his fists. "He did. He ruined everything."

"Who, Beck?"

"My dad."

Thatrandomgirl, LittleMissVictorious, ec4lewis, Glittergirl123, BerissVictorious, VictoriousForever10, BooTheUnicorn, CourtsxBatFan: Alright, ya'll, I loved the reviews :) Thanks for the VERY encouraging words. I appreciate it. I wanted to get something out of the way: I'm NOT treating Cat's diabetes like it's some sort of diseases, not at all. BUT when you seriously don't take care of yourself when you have something like hypoglycemia, it could take it's toll on you…just saying. And also: Tourniquet means a bandage to stop blood…alrighty then. Probably the best title for this story, since Beck's cutting. KEEP REVIEWING!