Longing 3
In nothing but a sheet, the pair held one another close. The stillness in the room proved a comfort after struggling for so long. Finally there was peace as all the doubt and insecurity, about what was circling between the pair from the moment they first worked a case together, was gone. Memories of the past lined up in perfect harmony with the person Myka was certain she loved. She was now alive in the best way possible.
Laying there in silence, the moment Helena stirred some in Myka's arms the excitement became fear. This was H.G. Wells and even with her demons exorcized she wasn't what you would call predictable. Myka thrived on order while Helena attracted chaos. It made their chemistry electric but it also made the future blurry, especially with the Regents, the authority on all things Warehouse, circling. Embracing she was in love with Helena G. Wells meant silently accepting that it could all be taken away in an instant.
"I have wanted to do that since the moment we first met." The soft sexy voice of the woman in Myka's arms, said with a smile.
"But instead I recall it was Pete you were kissing when we first met."
"A means to an end."
The flirtation was intoxicating and allowed Myka to brush aside her mind. "Don't let him hear you say that."
"Pete would certainly understand."
"Only after imaging us like this for a very long time."
Helena laughed a big, sexy, infectious laugh and then turned quickly capturing Myka's lips. All thoughts of Pete instantly disappeared as Myka pushed aside the fear and went with the excitement.
...
"Does stability scare you that much?" Myka said as she crossed back to the bed, leaving her bathrobe behind on the floor. Climbing in, she was comforted by Helena pulling her close.
"Is it that surprising? Every ounce of stability I ever enjoyed was ripped away from me."
"So better to have the ground always shifting?"
"It has its merits." Helena shrugged.
"Seems a safe path for someone like you."
Helena actually let out a tiny laugh at the blunt assessment.
"What's so funny?"
"How easy you read me."
"Have I found the one thing you are afraid of?" Myka asked sincerely.
"After losing my daughter? Yes. So, as you say, stability scares me."
The confession was quite honest for someone of Helena's guarded past and Myka respected it. As much loss as Myka had experienced in her life she could never imagine what kind of pain haunted one after losing a child. "Just promises me, where ever this goes, I won't wake up and find you gone without a word."
"You, my darling, are talking to the great H.G. Wells. I am never without words."
Myka let it go and in, perhaps, her second boldest moment, rolled herself onto the women she loved and stared into her eyes. "Promise me." They held the look between one another for quite a long moment. The intimacy was perhaps the single most intense moment of Myka's life.
"I promise."
...
With only the aid of the moonlight coming in from outside, Helena stared at a sleeping Myka wishing things could be different. There was little choice in the matter because if she ever wanted to have a chance at something long term with the curly haired agent she needed to complete what was being asked of her.
The only other option would be to run. Considering her skills, Helena was easily equipped to hide but she knew Myka would never spend her life bouncing around. It was necessary to sacrifice the short term for a shot at the long term.
Having memorized the image before her, Helena slowly closed the bedroom door. Taking a deep breath to calm her emotions she set out to quietly move through the upstairs hallway and towards the staircase.
When she reached the top step it creaked. She was reminded of sneaking from the home of a very married woman in London during her original tenure as a Warehouse agent. The days of trying to maneuver around floorboards and noisy house staff were fun but lonely.
She didn't remain lost in the past for very long as her instincts kicked in. She wasn't alone. A small figure at the bottom of steps had turned towards the noise. Even with what little light there was, it registered who was looking up at her from below. Claudia was standing at the bottom of the stairs with her jacket on and a bag thrown over her shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" The young woman whispered as Helena quickly but quietly moved down the stairs to face the music.
There was no easy way to answer the question so Helena avoided it by asking one of her own. "How are you holding up?"
"Just peachy. Thought I would run out for pizza and beer."
"Even in my day that be considered sarcasm."
"Observant of you. You didn't answer my question."
Respecting Claudia's protective nature, even in the face of her recent tragedy, Helena decided maybe a dose of honestly might cause the younger woman to open up about how she was doing. "I was visiting Myka."
"Is that what they called it in your time?"
The tiny dose of humor mixed with the pain in Claudia's tired eyes gave Helena faith that all wasn't lost. The question was met with a broad smile. "Yes, it was."
"About time. Look, I've got beer and pizza to find."
The silent support was sweet but hard to hear considering how much pain the youngest of the warehouse team was in. "Claudia, I'm not going to stop whatever it is you want to do but promise me you'll be careful. You are a special young woman and there are a great many people who would be pained if something happened to you."
Claudia nodded and, without another word, walked out the front door. Had there been any hope of comforting her or changing her mind Helena would have gone after her but having been in her shoes Helena knew it would prove a hopeless exercise. The pain was all too familiar and this was a journey Claudia had to make on her own.
...
Climbing into the backseat of the sedan, Helena wished she could have been more help to Claudia. The last thing she wanted to see was the young woman succumbing to what nearly destroyed everything in Helena's new life; after all grief was a terrible demon to shake.
Apparently her thoughts were easily readable as Jane Lattimer cleared her throat.
"Claudia looked lost as she passed the car."
"She needs space. No one can help her just yet."
Jane smiled. "But you tried."
"I merely suggested she be careful." Helena informed her superior.
"It was kind of you to want to try."
"I've been where she is more times than I care to count."
"We all have."
There was something in the tone that gave Helena an idea. It was a long shot but if it worked it would be worth it. "Promise me you will do what you can to help her."
"I'm not sure that's possible."
"She needs to be okay."
"You aren't exactly in a position to make requests of the Regents." The calm conversational nature of the exchange disappeared and Helena was back in the presence of someone who could make her life hell.
"I'm not asking anything of the Regents, I am asking you to look out for Claudia." It was perhaps bold to make such a pointed request of someone so powerful but considering Jane's son was also quite fond of the young woman Helena felt it was a well-calculated risk to ask such a favor.
"Claudia will be alright."
"Good."
"Have you and Agent Berring worked out whatever it was you needed to address?"
The question was precise and impersonal but Helena knew very well she hadn't fooled Jane Lattimer when she asked for the time. "Yes."
"So you are prepared to proceed?"
"Yes. Now what is it the Regents want from me?"
...
As the lights from a car pulling away from the inn slowly disappeared out of sight, Myka closed the curtains and returned to sit on the edge of the bed. Opening the folded sheet of paper she found on the nightstand she took a deep breath before reading what was left behind.
Myka -
They have somewhere I am needed which was why I demanded to see you first. Please believe me when I say I had no choice in this but I shall miss you every moment of every day.
You looked so lovely and peaceful I couldn't dare interrupt your slumber to bid you good-bye. I can see you rolling your beautiful eyes. Okay, perhaps I was afraid if I told you what was happening that I couldn't bring myself to leave. Perhaps I was afraid you would agree to run away with me and I would let you but we both know that is not the path your life should take. You would only end up resenting me in the end.
I need to make amends and considering the crimes I have committed I am lucky they are giving me a chance to redeem myself. When I have done so, I promise I will return, perhaps ready to embrace stability.
Don't take this as a denial of your request but instead words you can hold onto until I am allowed the freedom to return. I cherish you Myka Berring. You rescued me.
With love, H
The darkness of the bedroom, only amplified the emptiness of the room and yet, Helena's version of honoring her promise, made Myka smile. Her words were simple and sweet and she spoke the truth. Had Helena told her what was going to happen next Myka would have suggested they run away and in short order the result would have been destructive to the pair. The Warehouse needed Myka where she was and Helena needed the chance to atone for her actions. There was no part of Myka that liked the forced separation but she understood why it was necessary.
Tucking the letter into her copy of 'The Time Machine', which she had hidden in the nightstand, Myka Berring smiled as she crawled back into bed. The now empty spot where she had last seen Helena had gone cold but the faint smell of her perfume lingered. Pulling a pillow close Myka closed her eyes and let her mind escape back to how it felt to lay beside the woman she loved.
The End.