Disclaimer: The official Amaxing cake: Amaxing owns both Nintendo and One Piece.

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Somewhere in Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc.'s basement:

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The cake is a lie… the cake is a lie… the cake is a lie…

Nitonnec Total Fitness. 8/19. 6:30 am.

Nami slipped into the gym hurriedly. She quickly ran into the locker room, changed into workout clothes, and hurried into the weight room.

"You're up early, aren't you?" asked Zoro, who was pumping iron.

"ACK!" jumped Nami "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Um… lifting?"

"Well yeah, but, why are you up so early?"

"I figured if I was going to investigate the case, I'd need the entire day, and the only way I could motivate myself to get up so early was by planning to work out here."

"Wait… you were being responsible?" Nami's jaw dropped. "That's really out of character for you, y'know."

"Is not, I'm first mate after all!"

"Yeah, but you forget, Luffy's captain."

"Ah, touché."

Nami stood still for a minute, as Zoro returned to his lifting. "Aren't you going to do anything?" Zoro asked, after five minutes."

"Well… the thing is… I don't like working out in front of guys…"

"Um? That's kind of weird."

"IT IS NOT! I mean… that's why they have all women gyms, y'know? A lot of women feel the same way!"

"I suppose…"

Nami gasped.

"What? What's wrong now?"

"There are marines over in the next building!"

"Well, yeah… we are right next to the library… heck, you can see the crime scene from here!"

"You can?" Nami looked out, and saw a reading room. Through the broken window of the reading room, a large desk, an alarm switch, and the legs of a body could be seen. "Wow… you actually seem kind of prepared today… almost as if you actually care what happens." She eyed Zoro suspiciously.

"Don't even think that, it's not funny."

"Yeah… you wouldn't forget Robin that easily…"

OBJECTION!

"HEY!" yelled Zoro. "WHAT THE… I NEVER…"

"Sure Zoro, sure."

Nitonnec Library, Reading Room. 8/19. 7:00 am.

The library was jam-packed with detectives. If by jam-packed, one means to say that there was…one…investigating the scene, along with two marines.

Good grief… why them?

"It's horrible, isn't it?" asked Fullbody, mortified.

"I agree, making us gather evidence against our dear Venkman-chan, that's a crime in and of itself!" agreed Django.

"GET BACK TO WORK, BUBS!" yelled the gravely voiced, broad shouldered detective in the Sherlock Holmes-style hat. The detective stopped and looked at Zoro and Nami. Then he smiled. "RENO! GORGON! LONG TIME NO SEE, BUBS!"

"DETECTIVE SPADE!" cried Nami. "What are you doing here?"

This is Tracy Spade; he's a homicide detective I met on my first case. He looks and sounds menacing when you first meet him… but he's really a nice guy who just wants to find the truth.

"Didn't you know Reno?" asked Spade, using Nami's alias. "The Cervantes case got me promoted! I'm chief detective for the entire region now!"

"That's great! It's so nice to see you, detective!"

Spade turned to Zoro.

"Yeah, alright, I'll admit it" shrugged Zoro "it's good to see you, bub."

"HEY! That's my endearing character trait!" Spade laughed.

"So, what's the story this time Detective?" asked Zoro.

"It's like this! Judge Thomas Hamilton was killed here around 8:30 last night. He was shot dead, a single shot at point blank."

Autopsy Report (Ah, the first piece of evidence, makes me feel great inside): Judge Thomas Hamilton died from a single, point blank shot to the forehead from a pistol around 8:30. Lived shortly after being shot.

"WHAAT?" yelled Nami. "HE GOT SHOT IN THE FOREHEAD AND LIVED?"

"Momentarily… yes." Spade nodded. "Not only did the autopsy confirm that, but there was also rock solid evidence that the victim lived after being shot."

"What was it?"

"SORRY!" yelled Spade all of a sudden. "Can't tell you anything! You're not even really supposed to have that autopsy report, just so you know how lenient I'm being with you."

"What? Why all the secrecy?" asked Zoro.

"You see…" Spade whispered "The victim being a judge, the prime suspect being a marine… it's not a good image for the World Government to have, is it?"

"They're hushing it up to save face?" asked Nami, outraged. "That's not fair!"

"SORRY! I want to keep my job, after all. You can leave now!"

"But…" Zoro's hand twitched towards his sword.

"Detective Spade? Can you look over here for a moment?"

"Bub, what are you…?

"DJANGO!"

Detective Tracy Spade's eyed went out of focus. Django tipped his hat and smiled.

"Ask him anything you want, Roronoa Zoro."

Wow… he certainly wants things to go well… it's a bit romantic I suppose.

"Since when do you know what's romantic?" asked Nami.

"Good point." He turned towards Detective Spade. Might as well get started… I've got no idea how long this will last…

"Who was Judge Hamilton?" asked Zoro.

Tracy's voice came out in a long, monotonous drawl. "Judge Hamilton… great man… always gave a correct verdict… followed up on cases where there was any doubt… no enemies."

"Django?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Could you make him talk in complete sentences?"

"No… sorry baby."

"Argh…" Zoro turned back towards Detective Spade. "Why was Officer Venkman arrested?"

"Fingerprints… on gun… perfect match… name at crime scene… witness… strange bondage… weird science… Teletubbies…"

"DJANGO!"

"Don't look at me!" Django raised his arms defensively. "He must really like Teletubbies… sometimes things that are really important to a person break through even in hypnosis."

Strange bondage is really important to him? I never thought he was that kind of guy.

"Zoro!" whispered Nami. "Maybe I heard wrong, but didn't Detective Spade say that Hina's name was found at the scene?"

"Ah! You're right! Detective Spade, you said something about a name at the crime scene…"

"See… for self…" He pointed in at the reading room. "But... no go in… no one yet disturb crime scene… no go in" he reasserted.

Zoro looked in at the crime scene. The body of Thomas Hamilton lay sprawled across the floor, but from the doorway, only his upper half was visible. A solid, crimson pool gathered where his head lay. His arm led to the wall, and his finger lay beneath a letter 'k', a letter 'k' in the word 'VENKMAN'.

Crap… that's not good.

Snap!

What the…

"Never know when a picture will come in handy!" said Nami.

Fair enough…

"Is that all?" asked Zoro.

"OOH! OOH! Mr. Lawyer-pirate man!" cried Fullbody. "The witness! Ask him who the witness iiiiiiiis!"

Alright, alright, calm down…

"I'm CAAAAAAALM!" yelled Fullbody.

Right…

"Tracy" Began Zoro "who was the witness?"

"Old man… talk a lot… lives across street… apartment 3f…."

"Thanks."

Nitonnec Apartments, 3f. 8/19. 8:05 am.

Knock knock knock!

"I'm coming, jeez, can't you wait thirty minutes?"

Thirty minutes? He wants us to wait half an hour?

The door opened, and an old, balding man wearing a nicely pressed black suit stepped out. He took a look at Zoro. Then he gasped.

"It's YOU!" screamed the old man. "YOU! MR. GORGON ZOLO, 'ACE ATTORNEY', the one who ruined my life! Wasn't destroying the lives of the three people I held most dear to me enough for you? You just had to come back and haunt feeble old Geoffrey Belabor, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? Kid's these days! No respect for their elders! Why if I had tried a stunt like this when I was your age, I'd have been strung up from the nearest tree! STRUNG UP! By my own parents no less! Those were the dog-eat-dog days of our society when men were men and women were women and children worked to earn honest wages instead of sitting around being 'creative' and…

(Groan) This is Geoffrey Belabor. He belabors. A lot. He turned out to be a key witness in my last trial. After that day, he took off from the island of Lotipac, swearing never to return. Unfortunately, it looks like he didn't go very far away…

"Mr. Belabor… you're a witness for the trial tomorrow?"

"Yes I am, as a matter of fact…"

"Can you tell us what you saw?"

"YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF DEFENDING THAT RASCAL HINA, ARE YOU? She's nothing but trouble! And honestly, killing Judge Hamilton, JUDGE HAMILTON, that's unforgivable! He was one of the greatest men of all time! I recall one time when…"

"We are defending her, now tell us what you know. Please?"

"You said please." Nami was in shock.

"Well… since you used your manners…. Ok!" Belabor shook his head. "But I still don't like you, just so you know."

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

"OK! Here's what happened! I was doing my evening aerobic exercises, and I saw someone come out of the building!"

"…. That's it?"

"That's it."

"Who was it?"

"I'm not sure. But the figure was definitely a woman! I can tell these things, of course, because of how much experience I have. If you see someone who's tall and muscular, then it's a man! If you see someone petite and small…"

"We get it… thank you… goodbye now."

Thousand Suns. 8/19. 9:00 am.

"Get your suit on Zoro! We go to court in one hour!"

"Yeah... I know… but are we prepared?"

"Well… what do we have?"

"An autopsy report. A picture of the crime scene. That's pretty much it really."

"It's about as prepared as we were last time… we should be fine."

"I guess…"

"Wow…" Nami paused for a minute. "You… you actually do care, don't you?"

"What?" Zoro stuttered. "Well yes… but it's not what you think!"

Nami eyed him knowingly. "It's alright, pal, it happens to the best of us."

Yeah… but why me? Why her?

WHAAAAAAAT? THERE'S A PAIRING IN THIS FIC? Maybe… but maybe not. I'll keep you in the dark for now. May the spirit of happiness, laughter, and 'Good God, don't take your life so seriously' descend upon you and bring you joy and blissful ignorance.