Note: Since we cannot reply directly to Guest Reviews, I wanted to take time here to express my gratitude. Your words were very well-received. I intend to focus on the the events leading up to conception, rather than the birth, but I hope you still enjoy the ride.

CHAPTER THREE
Look at That Caveman Go

Like all salesmen, Tenma pitched a better product than he delivered. His talk of myths and entering the underworld had given her lofty expectations. She pictured herself on misty moors, rising from the haze to catch Yugi Muto off guard. While she distracted him with a duel, Tenma would unearth the remains of Pegasus's lover. Yugi would back her into a corner, only for red light to pierce the sky as the dark ritual commenced. Soundtrack provided by Jim Steinman.

The reality was far less atmospheric. She sat in a conference room, her bangs the only protection from harsh lighting. So far twelve other Card Professors had arrived. Some she remembered from her days on the local Oregon circuit. Others she knew on sight, but not by name. The man seated next to her, Pete Coppermine, was one she recognized by reputation alone.

Few Canadian Duelists received mainstream attention. Coppermine had stolen it right out from under that Mountie who fought all his Duels on a moose. Now that Tilla had laid eyes on him, she questioned how. He looked like any number of guys she could have found at Crypt O' Night, so it wasn't his image carrying him. It had to be his steadfast claims that he was actually a mutant and his vertical pupils were all natural.

Canadians are either very gullible, Tilla thought, or easily amused.

The door flew open and slammed into the wall. Tilla pursed her lips to smother a gasp. A girl on the other side of the room shrieked, then clapped a hand to her mouth. Tilla snorted, but couldn't hear it over the boisterous laughter of the man in the doorway.

"Keith Howard."

Richie Merced rose from his seat and crossed his arms. The fluorescent lights added an extra level of sheen to his black Duel Disk. It was the most transparent power play Tilla had seen in a while, and it had worked. Keith eyed Merced with such venom, it was clear even through his sunglasses.

"Didn't know Kaiba made his tinker toys to order," he said.

"I didn't know you were still alive. We all heard you died years ago." Merced gestured towards everyone in the room, but Tilla had never felt so superfluous. Or disinterested. This would have been far more entertaining on the moors.

"It's gonna take more than some primped up dandy to put Bandit Keith six feet under! And good thing, too." He looked Merced up and down. "Cuz if you're the best the Card Professor around these days, it must be a cakewalk out there!"

He laughed some more.

Merced's eyes followed Keith around as he moved to the head of the table. "What are you doing here? Did Tenma dig you up?"

"Hell naw," said Keith. "I ain't no fuckin' zombie."

Coppermine leaned in, tapped Tilla on the shoulder and muttered, "He smells like one, though." Tilla rolled her eyes but smiled in spite of herself.

"Pretty Boy came around, asking if I knew the right people for his gig. And I sent him to you guys." Keith slid his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. "You're welcome."

No one in the room looked particularly grateful. Tilla knew she should have been, but Bandit Keith oozed sleaze. The idea that he followed her career at all inspired nothing but vague discomfort.

Keith went to the white board and drew a rudimentary schematic of a building. The wrong building. Most everyone knew that the ketchup bottle was Kaiba Corporation's Japan headquarters. Their so-called Dragon Tower of New York was much more conventional. Tilla might have reconsidered the zombie idea, but she suspected Keith often had no idea where he was.

"So here's the deal," he said. "Tenma's playing Donkey Kong on the top of this here tower. If that punk Yugi wants to save the princess, he's gonna have to get past you goombas and make it to the top."

Over in the corner, Klamath Osler held up his finger. He looked prepared to drop some serious Donkey Kong lore, but Keith didn't hesitate. He pulled a group of straws from the inside of his vest and shoved them at Klamarth. "Each of you gets a block. If he steps on your turf, duel him into the ground."

"Drawing straws?!" cried Merced. He still hadn't sat down. The effect was no longer intimidating so much as comical. "You mean we aren't going to duel for it?!"

"Nope," said Keith. "Life's a bitch, ain't it?"

That it was.

Tilla entered the draw with a healthy level of pessimism, but was still disappointed. Something in the middle of the road hadn't felt like so much to ask for. Alas, the basement had turned up to show her how wrong she'd been. Unless Yugi Muto had a terrible sense of direction, the chances of facing him were slim. She sunk her chin into her palm and tried not to grimace.

You know, she thought in a voice more like her mother's than her own, this is your measure for measure. You signed off on Tenma's crazy plan looking for quick cash and now you get nothing. It's what you deserve.

"If you manage to cork it up and let the twerp win, you've gotta give him this."

Keith slid them each a key card with unexpected expertise. Tilla didn't bother to catch hers, instead letting it crash into her elbow. Coppermine, with no sense of tact or subtlety, craned his head to get a look at it. His bangs grazed her neck, sending a chill down her spine. She turned to look at him, but his eyes stayed fixed on the card.

"HoloLabs? That sounds sweet!" He held up his own key. "Wanna trade?"

Though the word printed along the side was clear as day, she read it several times out of sheer disbelief. "The lobby? Why would you-?"

"Do you really think Yugi Muto won't make it past the lobby?"

Coppermine smirked, and Tilla noticed he had fangs to go with his cat eyes. She had never heard anyone mention them before. It was a shame. They were far more convincing than whatever contacts he was sporting. In fact, she was so impressed that she almost forgot how irritating the smug look on his face was. Almost. She plucked the card out of his fingers and slipped it in into her sleeve.

"I guess we'll see."