Planet of the Tomatoes
Planet of the Tomatoes
By Cullen Pittman
Chapter 3
A Restless Rest Stop
We see Chad running through a field of cotton plants, seeing his long lost parents in the distance. He smiled and was about to run up to them to give them a welcome back hug. But just then, his parents suddenly pulled off their heads revealing vicious tomato heads each with 3 eyes and 2 mouths with sharp fangs. Then their hands turned into long green vines and seized Chad like they were tentacles. "Come our son", said the couple in monstrous voices. "You belong with us! Our little tomato sprout!" The mother took out a mirror and Chad became horrified as he saw his head had turned into a tomato as well. "NOOOO!" he cried.
Suddenly, Chad had awoken from his nightmare and found himself in his cotton plant bed onboard the Q-51 rocket. "Wow, that was freaky!" said Chad as he rubbed his head and looked at the others asleep in their cotton beds as well. Then he turned over to the plant girl, Xylena, still standing in her sleep in her flower pot like a small tree. "She looks so peaceful like a potted plant", said Chad.
Suddenly, something above him started to ring. It was a grapefruit with alarm clock features sitting on a high shelf. It started shouting, "Wake up, rise and shine, here's your morning juice!" and he started squirting tiny bits of juice in the faces of Chad and our sleeping heroes.
"What's happening?" yawned Tara as she suddenly got up and rubbed her face. F.T. made a confused squeak as he woke up too and shook the juice off his furry body like a wet dog.
"This is Whitley White, who just received a damp wake up call", grumbled Whitley.
"Are we under a tomato attack?!" shouted Wilbur as he leapt out of bed and drew his sword. "I felt tomato juice on me!"
"Relax, Uncle Wilbur", said Chad, rubbing his eye. "It's not tomato juice. It's grapefruit juice." And he pointed to the smiling grapefruit alarm clock above.
"Good morning, Squirty", called out Xylena as she suddenly woke up and wiped her face dry. "As always, thank you for your always prompt wake up squirts."
"My pleasure, Xylena", smiled the grapefruit clock as he yawned and suddenly went to sleep.
"Good morning, my friends", smiled Xylena as she stepped out of her flower pot revealing her roots for feet and slipping them back into her space boots. "I hope you all slept well."
"Yes, I did", said Chad, "Sort of", for he still had that nightmare about his parents on his mind.
"F.T. and I were very comfortable", said Tara. "I never knew my fellow plants would make excellent sleeping items." She got out of bed and straightened out the lettuce blanket and fluffed her cauliflower pillow.
"I just realized", said Wilbur. "I haven't used the bathroom since we left Earth. Xylena, which way to your restroom?"
"Right through that door", said Xylena pointing to a door across from the hallway.
"Thanks", said Wilbur, heading that way.
"I wonder what Saladovians use for toilets?" wondered Chad, fearing it might be alive like all the other plant appliances he witnessed onboard the rocket.
When Wilbur entered the bathroom, he saw a sink that was a huge melon rind and faucets shaped like dripping water lilies. And the shower also had a huge water lily dripping on top. "Now where's that commode?" asked Wilbur. But when he turned around, he found in place of a toilet was a small bush. "And I thought the latrines at the Killer Tomato Task Force Base were hard to figure out", gasped Wilbur.
"Good morning, pal", said the bush. "Answering the call to nature, eh? Before you go, you might want to tell Xylena that we're low on paper." Wilbur looked at the paper roll on the wall and discovered that Saladovian toilet paper was rolled up banana leaves.
"Now this is awkward", sighed Wilbur.
Meanwhile, we look into the red rocket cucumber known as the Galactic Gangreen Express. Dr. Gangreen was still piloting the rocket with Igor co-piloting. "Pretty soon, Igor", said Gangreen with an evil smile. "We'll be reaching this new planet with the mysterious addictive soil that puts plant-life under my control. And once we gather enough of it, we'll feed it to every killer tomato on Earth and soon they'll be under my control once again and I shall be the ruler of Earth. HA HA HA!"
"Whoa, I don't think my hands are big enough to carry that much dirt", said Igor. "Maybe my fingernails could carry most of it."
"We'll just make several trips back and forth from Earth to that soil planet", said Gangreen, "Until we get enough soil for every tomato on Earth."
"SOIL, SOIL, SOIL, SOIL!" cried monstrous voices in the back. Igor turned around and found the Gang of 6 in their seats with hypnotized eyes and hungry mouths.
"Whoa, it's kind of creeping me out the way those tomato dudes keep repeating that one word", said Igor.
"Yes", said Gangreen. "If we don't get them some more soil soon, who knows what havoc they might cause? Igor, I need you to keep them occupied."
"How, your not-enough-information-ness?" asked Igor.
"I don't know", grumbled Gangreen, "Tell them a story or do some shadow puppets, anything to calm them down!"
Igor slowly approached the Gang of 6. "Hi there, tomato dudes", said Igor. "Enjoying your flight so far?"
"We would if you'd transform into that mouth watering soil so we can eat you!" grumbled Zoltan.
"How about some shadow puppets to pass the time?" asked Igor as he clicked on a flashlight and started wiggling his hands and started making shadow puppets of stuff like a dog and a butterfly.
"This does seem kind of amusing", said Tomacho.
"I feel calmer already", said Mumato.
"And here's my most favorite of all shadow puppets", smiled Igor as he started wiggling his fingers around. "Tomato Worms!"
The Gang of 6 looked in fear as they saw what looked like shadows of ten hungry worms. "TOMATO WORMS!" they all cried as they jumped out of their seats and started bouncing all over the place like racquetballs causing the rocket to twist and turn.
"Igor, you banana brain!" shouted Gangreen, trying to straighten out the rocket. "What did you just do?"
"Will you let me keep my fingers if I tell you the truth?" asked Igor who had a nervous Ketchuck sitting on top of him and drooling on him.
Back on Q-51, we see our heroes gathered around a table in the galley. "I could use some breakfast right now", said Wilbur.
"It would be nice if we could have that soil Xylena had her roots in all night", Tara said to F.T. "But she says we can't." F.T. made an agreeable squeak.
"Yes, like I said last night", said Xylena. "If you Earth plants try our soil, you'll become dangerously addicted to it. But fear not, I've heard that most of you Earthlings like meat. I happen to be a carnivorous plant myself. So I've prepared for you all a meat breakfast."
"You mean like bacon and sausage?" asked Chad.
"Actually, I mean a breakfast of bugs", smiled Xylena as she placed a huge glass container on the table. Inside it was a bunch of small alien looking bugs buzzing around. Our heroes became grossed out as they watched Xylena stick her hand into the container and pulled out a green two headed fly, threw it in her mouth, and chomped it. "That sure hits the spot", smiled Xylena. "Go on my friends, stick your hands in there one at a time and fill your plates."
"Eyeeew!" whispered Tara. F.T. made same squeaky, "Eyeeew!"
"This just in", said Whitley, "Earth reporter about to be totally grossed out!"
"You do not like bugs?" asked Xylena.
"No offense, Xylena", said Chad. "But we Earth humans don't really like to eat bugs."
"Oh, what you're saying is that you Earth humans don't like to kill bugs", said Xylena, "You treat bugs as your equals and you let them crawl and fly around free in your homes and multiply."
"Not exactly", said Chad.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know anything else I can feed my passengers", said Xylena.
"Luckily, I always come prepared", smiled Wilbur as he placed his backpack on the table and pulled out some cans and bags of food. "I'll make you all one of my specialty breakfast treats, a fried egg and hominy grits pizza."
"Maybe I could try the bugs instead", groaned Whitley.
"You wouldn't happen to have an oven onboard, would you?" Wilbur asked Xylena.
"Of course I do", said Xylena, "Oh, Roasty!" Suddenly, a huge red pepper about the size of an oven hopped into the galley. "Roasty", said Xylena, "this Earth man wants to cook something inside you called a pizza. Are you up to this new challenge?"
"Sure I am", said Roasty the Red Pepper in a deep voice. "I'm game for new cuisine." Then Roasty ended up opening his huge mouth releasing a loud BURP belching some fire on Wilbur charring him black. "Sorry about that", said Roasty, "Is my face red!"
"Mine is probably too", said Wilbur, dusting himself off, "From a first degree burn."
Soon, Wilbur had put together his pizza and carefully slid it in Roasty's big mouth. "This is certainly going to leave an interesting taste in my mouth", muttered Roasty.
"Please don't talk with your mouth full", said Xylena. "It always makes the food taste funny. Remember that time you ended up saying those curse words while cooking? The food came out all dirty."
"My old pizza oven back home never curses", said Wilbur. "It just usually shoots its mouth off every time it explodes."
"Rob and Elisa have told us what this pizza is like", said Xylena. "I hope I will enjoy it."
"You don't have pizza on your planet?" asked Tara.
"No", said Xylena, "The basic food groups on Saladovia are soil, water, sunlight, and bugs."
"Sounds like my kind of place", smiled Tara. "Minus the bugs, that is."
"Xylena", said Chad. "I've been wondering about something."
"About what?" asked Xylena.
"If the only foods on Saladovia are soil, water, sunlight, and bugs, what have my parents been surviving on these past years?" asked Chad.
"Well", said Xylena, "You see…."
"Danger, danger, danger to the extreme!" called out Q-51 in a panicky voice.
"What is it, Q-51?" asked Xylena.
"Come to the cockpit and I'll show you!" cried Q-51. Our heroes rushed out of the galley and entered the cockpit. They all looked out the main window and saw two green fuzzy creatures floating in space.
"Oh no!" gasped Xylena.
"They look like little green rabbits", said Chad. Sure enough, the two floating figures were cute little bunny rabbits. Only they were green and had little antennas on their ears.
"Vegetable hungry bunnies make tomatoes like me and F.T. nervous", trembled Tara while F.T. trembled as well.
"Those cute little bunnies?" asked Wilbur.
"Those aren't cute little bunnies!" cried Xylena. "Those are SPACE BUNNIES! A Saladovian's natural predator!"
"They're going to feast on my beautiful body until I'm nothing left!" cried Q-51.
"And then they'll come after me and my vegetable crew!" cried Xylena.
"What about humans?" asked Whitley. "Do they eat humans like me?"
"No, Space Bunnies only eat plants", said Xylena in a panic.
"That's a relief", said Whitley.
"But if those bunnies eat our ship", cried Tara. "We'll all end up in lifeless space."
"I guess that's not a relief", said Whitley.
"But there's only two of them", said Chad. "And they look pretty small. Can they really eat that much?"
"There won't be two of them for long", gasped Xylena. Suddenly, the two bunnies' bodies started to split in half and transformed into 4 bunnies. Then split into 8 bunnies, then 16, and continued to split into more bunnies.
"Look!" said Chad. "They're reproducing like amoebas!"
"When I heard that rabbits can multiply, I always thought they just owned calculators", said Tara.
And in just an instant, Q-51 found himself surrounded by1000 hungry space bunnies. They all jumped onboard the helpless rocket and started chomping. "OUCH, OW, OH, OOOOH!" cried Q-51 causing the cockpit to shake like crazy.
"Is it that bad?" asked Tara.
"That bad?!" cried Q-51, "It's like having a bunch of fleas on you and you don't have hands to scratch them!"
Suddenly, a huge pair of buck teeth punctured itself through a wall causing F.T. to leap out of the way and jump into Tara's arms.
"Oh no!" cried Tara as she saw more buck teeth poking through the wall and started gnawing. "They're making holes in Q-51!"
"I'll stop these mad march hares!" shouted Wilbur as he took his sword and started stabbing at the teeth, but also ended up stabbing the wall also.
"Stop that, Uncle Wilbur!" shouted Chad. "You're just making more holes!"
"This is just great!" groaned Q-51. "There are gluttonous space bunnies killing me outside and a sword welding psycho killing me inside! Why won't death come for me now?"
"Wait", said Xylena checking the front window. "We're saved. We're approaching a black hole!"
"What's a black hole?" asked Tara.
"A black hole's a powerful vacuum in space", said Chad nervously. "Nothing escapes from it. Not even light!"
"And there it is!" said Xylena, pointing to the front window where a huge black hole was sucking every star and asteroid into it. The 1000 bunnies stopped their nibbling and looked awestruck at the huge hole. They all hopped off Q-51 and started to jump into the hole. "Space Bunnies can never resist jumping into black holes for some reason", smiled Xylena.
"That's a relief", sighed Q-51. "I feel the nibbling pain gone."
"But won't we get sucked into that hole too?" cried Chad.
"Not really", said Xylena. "Look!" It turned out the hole was suddenly clogged up by a clump of green bunny bottoms. "That is what as known as a hare clog", said Xylena proudly.
"This just in", said Whitley. "It turns out the far reaches of space has its share of bad puns!"
"Are you okay, Q-51?" asked Xylena, studying the holes made by the bunny nibbles.
"I think so", groaned Q-51. "But I think I need some air for some reason."
"I'll say!" cried Chad. "All the air is getting sucked out through those huge holes!" Sure enough, all the air was getting pulled out of the cockpit. Xylena quickly went to the control deck and picked up a daffodil that looked like a speaker. "Attention, coconut crew!" said Xylena. "We have a code 22! Report to duty at once!" Suddenly, a whole bunch of coconuts started to roll into the cockpit.
"Somebody's got a lovely bunch of coconuts", said Whitley. But then he shouted, "OW!" when a coconut jumped up and conked him on the head.
"Forgive him", said Xylena. "They're just totally sick of everyone always saying that line to them."
The coconuts jumped up and plugged themselves into all the holes stopping the air from leaking.
"That's really neat!" said Chad.
"It's like that classic island show where that professor turns coconuts into technology", said Tara.
"I think we need one more coconut over here", said Wilbur, pointing to one last hole. Then the hole sucked up the back of Wilbur's helmeted head sealing it up. "I didn't mean my coconut!" cried Wilbur.
"Thanks, coconut buddies", said Q-51. "I can always count on you guys in case I ever go nuts."
"Don't worry", said Xylena. "We'll soon be approaching a floating space station. We'll be able to get you repaired there."
Soon, another thing appeared on the big window. It looked like a huge space station with different kinds of rocket ships and flying saucers flying in and out.
"Just like in those sci-fi shows and movies", said Chad.
Q-51 flew into the station's docking unit and came in for a landing. Then a door opened and the celery stairs ejected. Xylena and the Earthlings stepped out of the rocket, along with Sunny the Sunflower camera following and filming Whitley White around.
"So this is the inside of an actual space station", said Chad amazed.
"Yes, this here is Space Station Alpha-Beta-Calculata", said Xylena. "Space travelers come here regularly for pit stops, spaceship repairs, and to shop for supplies or just hang out."
"I wonder if we'll see any actual alien life forms", said Tara. Just then, she screamed as she saw some kind of strange creature approach them. It was a big blue blob with 5 eyes, 10 spikes on its head, and a huge mouth with fangs. And it had 6 long waving tentacles and was oozing puss on the floor.
"Step back, everyone!" said Wilbur, taking out his sword. "I'll slay this monster!"
"Wait, Mr. Finletter", said Xylena, getting in front of Wilbur and the alien creature.
"What, there's a monster here?" asked the alien looking around and hiding behind Xylena. "Save me, Xylena!"
"Aw, cut it out, Blorch", laughed Xylena. "You're not fooling anyone with that timid act."
"You could always see through me, Xy", laughed Blorch as he started spouting ooze from his huge mouth.
"You two know each other?" asked Chad.
"Of course", smiled Xylena. "I'd like you all to meet Blorch, the finest rocket repairman in this part of the galaxy."
"Hey, you guys are Earthlings, aren't you?" said Blorch. "Wow, we've never had actual Earthlings visit our space station before. This is really a treat!" He quickly slithered over and wrapped his tentacles around Chad, Tara, Wilbur, and Whitley and very tight too. "Hey, Xy", said Blorch. "How about taking a picture of me with the Earthlings? My kids will love it!"
"Can we do that later, please?" asked Xylena. "Right now, Q-51 needs your assistance."
"Oh, all right", sighed Blorch as he released the Earthlings who had fallen on the floor and gasping for air. "Hey there, Q-five-one!" said Blorch, studying the rocket cucumber with coconuts sticking on different parts of his body. "Let me guess, had another cute little Space Bunny attack, didn't you?"
"Does it show?" asked Q-51, sarcastically.
"Aw, cheer up pal", said Blorch, reaching into his mouth and pulling out a slimey blue toolbox. "Old Blorch will fix you up like new again. Besides, you were about due for a rear end exam anyway." And he took out some weird looking tools that looked really sharp and painful.
"And I thought doctor's needles were scary", said Chad.
"Don't look at me when he's looking at my rear end!" bellowed Q-51.
"We'd all better leave Blorch to his work", said Xylena. "In the meantime, let me show you around the station. This will be a good chance for us to stock up on supplies."
Our heroes followed Xylena through a tunnel and they suddenly came across what looked like the inside of a huge mall. Only the stores had funny alien writings and the people walking around and minding the stores were all aliens, different kinds of aliens. Some with scales, some with feathers, some with fur, some had three eyes or four eyes or one single eye, some had funny snouts or beaks, and some had more than two arms and legs and some had even no arms or legs.
"For centuries, people back on Earth have always wondered if there was other life in this universe", said Chad, amazed.
"This is just like the time they had that sci-fi convention at the San Zucchini mall", said Tara. "All those people dressed up in those strange alien costumes. I wonder what these real aliens sell in those stores."
"I can't even read those signs above", said Wilbur trying to make out the strange alien letters printed on the stores above.
"I know what will help", said Xylena as she approached some kind of strange vending machine, placed a card through the scanner, and some strange pink visors dropped down into the slot below. Xylena took the visors and approached our heroes. "Put these on", said Xylena, handing a visor to everyone. "These special visors will scan your brains and decipher the words you're looking at into your words."
"Sounds neat", said Chad as he put the visor on like a pair of glasses. Suddenly, the alien words over the stores started to turn into English. He saw that the stores were places like a food court, a pharmacy, a jewelry store, and an army surplus store. "Outer space technology really is advanced", said Chad. "I'd like to check out that pharmacy. I just remembered. I didn't pack a toothbrush or toothpaste when we started on this trip."
"And I'd like to check out that jewelry store", said Tara.
"And I want to buy some stuff from that surplus store", said Wilbur. "After that Space Bunny attack, I have a feeling I'm gonna need more artillery for this crazy space trip."
"Very well", said Xylena as she reached into her spacesuit and pulled out some cards. "But first, you'll need these." She handed the cards to each of our heroes. Chad looked at his card which had a picture of a fiery meteor and the words, Meteor Card, below.
"What is a Meteor Card?" asked Chad. "Is it like a credit card?"
"Exactly", said Xylena. "Meteor Card is one of the most popular credit cards in the universe. Just present this card to the store clerks and you can purchase anything you want. It is very important you have these cards when shopping around this space station. The alien species here use different things for currency. Things you may not have or even things that could be valuable to your life."
"Just like signing your soul to the devil?" asked Whitley.
"Then I suggest you avoid that store over there", said Xylena, pointing to a store that said, Your Greatest Fantasies Can Come True. The store was run by an alien that looked like a red devil with horns holding a contract written in flames.
Chad and Xylena were looking around the pharmacy, trying to find what looks like a toothbrush and toothpaste. "Will you look at this weird stuff", said Chad, picking up a small device that looked like a fuzzy Q-tip. "I wonder if this is for your ear."
"No, Chad", said Xylena, taking the cotton stick away from him. "It's for melting off unsightly scabs." She plucked a leaf from her leaf hair and applied it to the Q-tip. The leaf quickly caught on fire and disappeared.
"I'm glad I didn't apply that to my eardrum", said Chad, nervously. "Say, is this stuff dental floss?" he asked as he picked up a small box that had some string sticking out.
"No", said Xylena. "This is cutting string used for cutting off unwanted appendages." She turned the box around and it showed a small film of a green alien boy with 3 arms using the floss to cut off his third arm like it was a blade.
"When Uncle Wilbur told me never to shop for pharmacy products alone, he wasn't kidding", gasped Chad.
"May I help you?" asked an alien sounding voice. Chad and Xylena turned around and they saw a round orange alien with a really huge sharp toothy smile.
"Yes", said Chad. "I'd like to buy a toothbrush and some toothpaste."
"Um, I'm not familiar with either of those two things", said the toothy alien.
"He means do you have anything that can fix unclean teeth?" said Xylena.
"Why sure", smiled the alien with an even bigger toothy smile. "What kind of pharmacy would this be if there weren't any tooth fixer-uppers? Here's something that four out of five grvniks recommend." The alien handed Chad something that looked like the size of a toothbrush.
"This looks like a small jackhammer", said Chad, puzzled.
"Correction, it's a plaquehammer", said the alien.
"How will this clean my teeth?" wondered Chad.
"Lucky for you, I just ate and my teeth are filthy", smiled the alien taking the plaquehammer from Chad. "Just watch." The alien turned on a switch on the plaquehammer and it started to chip away at the alien's teeth causing them all to crumble onto the floor. "See", said the alien, whose huge mouth was empty of teeth. "No more dirty teeth!"
Chad looked at the now toothless alien in shock. "But now you have no teeth period! How will you ever chew stuff again?"
"Relax", said the alien. "Teeth like mine always grow back in a few days. I'll just stick to soft food until then. Now, let me get you a clean plaquehammer. Using a plaquehammer somebody else used is unsanitary."
"Maybe I'd better wait to brush my teeth until I get back to Earth", said Chad. "I just hope Mom and Dad will forgive my morning breath when I finally see them."
"Are these what you're talking about?" asked Xylena, pointing to a cup of toothbrushes and toothpaste sitting on a bottom shelf.
"Yes they are", smiled Chad, studying the dental equipment. "And this is the same brand of toothpaste I use on Earth."
"Oh, those?" said the toothless alien. "They're just some Earth things some guy sold to me. I try to keep them out of sight. Who knows what kind of damage they could do?"
"Actually this stuff can protect me from damage", smiled Chad. "Protect my teeth that is, I'll take one and a few more for my group as well", and he showed his Meteor Card to the alien.
"I can't argue with the card", said the alien as he took a strange scanning device and scanned the card. Chad and Xylena thanked the alien and both left the pharmacy. Then the alien looked down at his destroyed teeth lying on the floor. "Clean up on aisle vlink!" he shouted.
Wilbur was busy looking around the army surplus store studying some kind of walky-talky. "This must be some kind of communicator", said Wilbur. "Maybe I can use it to contact the Tomato Task Force back on Earth." He pushed the button and a laser beam suddenly shot out from the antenna, leaving a hole in the ceiling.
"Hello soldier", said a drill sergeant sounding voice. Wilbur turned around and found a huge brown warty alien that had four muscular arms and was wearing an army helmet. "I see you're interested in that hand held weapon of mass destruction."
"This is a weapon?!" gasped Wilbur. "I thought it was a communication device!"
"HAW HAW HAW!" laughed the alien as he took the device from Wilbur. "Every good soldier knows that this is one of the most powerful war weapons in the universe. Hmmm, you wouldn't happen to be an old draft dodger, would you?"
"Wilbur Finletter, a draft dodger?!" gasped Wilbur with an angry look. "I'll have you know I'm the leader of the Killer Tomato Task Force back on Earth!"
"You're from Earth?" gasped the alien. "The most war obsessed planet in the universe?"
"What do you mean war obsessed?" asked Wilbur. "We aren't that bad, are we?"
"See for yourself", said the alien as a TV screen rose from the floor and he turned it on. It showed clips of every single Earth war in history and dictators like Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun, Napoleon, Hitler, and finally ending with Dr. Gangreen and his Killer Tomatoes.
"I guess I can't argue with that", said Wilbur with a grim look.
"Anyway, it's great to meet a fellow soldier like me", smiled the alien as he turned off the screen and patted Wilbur on the back causing him to get slammed to the ground. "And I'm giving you a discount on anything in my store."
"Thanks", said Wilbur getting back up and dusting himself off. He then noticed a bazooka on the shelf and picked it up. "This looks really powerful", said Wilbur. "It could probably turn an enemy into chopped liver." Suddenly, the bazooka went off and a clump of something gross and gooey hit the floor. "What or who did I just shoot?!" cried Wilbur as he studied the mess, sniffed it and tasted it. "This is chopped liver!" gasped Wilbur. "That's totally nuts!" Then the bazooka went off again and Wilbur found a huge pile of peanuts, walnuts, and all kinds of nuts on the floor.
"Impressive, ain't it?" said the alien. "What you're holding in your hands is an actual grub generator used by army cooks. Just touch it and think of any food item and it'll blast it out for you either piping hot or brain freezing cold."
"An actual food processor that can make any type of food in the world?" said Wilbur amazed. "Think of what this could do for my pizza business!" And a huge pizza got blasted onto the floor. "It's a butterscotch and kipper pizza!" said Wilbur, "Just what I was thinking about! I'll take it!" and he showed his Meteor Card to the army alien.
We see Whitley White and his sunflower camera standing in what looked like a food court. "This is Whitley White, reporting live from the food court of an actual alien space station. You heard right, this is not a sci-fi convention where people with no lives are in disguise. These are actual alien life forms. And I'll prove it!" Whitley approached a purple slug-like alien with arms eating some kind of strange meal at a table. Then Whitley started tugging on the alien's antenna-like eyes. "You see", said Whitley as he continued tugging. "It won't come off which proves this is not a costume, but an actual alien life form! What do you think of that, Geraldo?"
Whitley realized he just pulled the slug's head off its body. "Oh my gosh, what have I done!" gasped Whitley. Then he became even more disgusted as he saw a bunch of little slugs crawling out of the bottom half of the big slug's body and then slithering out of the food court. The arms of the bottom half snatched the slug's head from Whitley and placed it back on like it was never pulled off. "How dare you, you masher!" shouted the slug in a woman's voice.
"You're a lady?!" gasped Whitley.
"How double dare you!" shouted the slug. "You pulled my head off causing my babies to be born prematurely! Wait'll my husband gets his slime on you! Oh, Manglex!"
"Who's been messing with my beloved wife and my not ready kids?!" shouted a monstrous voice. Whitley became nervous as he found himself looking into the angry eye antennas of an even bigger alien slug. And the eye antennas started seizing him like tentacles.
"This is Whitley White saying I'll get back to you once this alien finished seeing eye to eye with me!" gasped Whitley while the alien started squeezing him even harder.
Tara and F.T. were looking around the jewelry shop. F.T. was looking at huge red ruby with a small green emerald on top. F.T. made amazed squeaks thinking it was the world's prettiest tomato.
"Oh, F.T., you silly thing", laughed Tara. "That is just a huge ruby. It's a mineral, not a vegetable. Now these stones are very pretty." Tara started gazing at a bunch of stones of many colors sitting on the front shelf.
"Interested in anything, dearie?" asked a woman's voice. Tara looked up and was surprised to see a woman who was completely made of blue crystal with spiky hair made of white crystal shards.
"Hello", said Tara. "I was just browsing through your store. You got so many beautiful stones."
"Thank you", said the crystal woman. "I have stones from every single planet in the universe."
"This blue one looks very unique", said Tara, picking up a small blue shard. "How much is it worth?"
"Nothing really", said the woman taking the shard away from her. "I just broke a nail and a finger as well." The woman showed Tara her hand showing that her ring finger was broken off.
Tara looked at the 9 fingered crystal woman funny and then saw another small stone on the counter. "This white one is very pretty", said Tara, picking up the stone. "What planet did this come from?"
"Oh, a couple of space travelers sold it to me", said the woman. "It comes from a far away planet called Earth."
"Earth?" asked Tara. "That's my home planet. I wonder if this is some kind of diamond."
"The travelers said that rock is a substance called salt", said the woman.
"SALT?!" cried Tara realizing that she was touching a salt rock with her bare fingers. "OH NO!" and Tara quickly transformed back into a tomato.
"Ma'am, where'd you go?" asked the woman looking around for the Earth girl. She leaned over the counter and found the salt rock next to some small red vegetation.
"AN OTAMOT!" cried the woman in fear as she pushed a button under her counter and a bunch of loud alarms went off. "Warning, Otamot alert! Warning, Otamot alert!" said a loud voice. The Tara Tomato, realizing she was in big trouble, started to hop out of the store. F.T. saw what happened and ran out with Tara.
Chad and Xylena had left the pharmacy and noticed a bunch of tiny purple slugs hopping across the floor. "Some needs to call the exterminator", said Chad.
"Come back my babies!" cried the mother space slug as she tried to gather up the wriggling baby slugs.
"Uh oh", said Xylena. "It looks like someone had messed up a Sluguluff's pregnancy."
"And I have a pretty good guess who did", said Chad, pointing to an even bigger space Sluguluff strangling Whitley White while Sunny the Sunflower continued to film them.
Just then, an alarm went off and an announcer started shouting, "Warning, Otamot alert!"
"OTAMOTS?!" cried the giant Sluguluff as he dropped Whitley on the floor. "Hurry, honey bunch!" shouted the Daddy Sluguluff, "Let's grab our kids and get out of here before those Otamot creeps get them!" The two Sluguluffs managed to grab their babies and slither out of sight.
"Mr. White, are you all right?" asked Chad, rushing to Whitley's aid.
"All right?" said Whitley. "I'm better than ever! I was the first Earth newsman to get into a fight with an actual space alien! I'm going to go down in TV history for this!"
"Warning, Otamot alert!" continued the announcer.
"An Otamot is here?" gasped Xylena, "Where?"
They suddenly saw all the aliens running around the place in panic as two small red figures started running and hopping towards our heroes. "It's F.T.", said Chad, "And Tara who somehow got turned into a tomato!" F.T. jumped into Xylena's hands while Tara hopped into Chad's hands.
"What's going on here?" asked Wilbur who had arrived at the scene holding what looked like a bazooka.
"I think we'd all better head back to Q-51 immediately", said Xylena as she pointed to what looked like a troop of robots heading their way. Our heroes tried to escape, but quickly found themselves surrounded by a squad of huge robots that looked a lot like mall security cops.
"You're all under arrest for being accomplices to killer Otamots!" said the head robot holding up its gun shaped hand.
"And I thought the biggest threat I've ever seen were tomatoes", said Wilbur. But then, Wilbur's food processing bazooka went off again firing some tomatoes splattering all over the robots. The sauce caused the robots to short circuit and collapse into a pile of junk.
"Come on, let's go!" shouted Xylena as they all started to race back to the docking area.
"I can't believe it!" cried Wilbur. "I used tomatoes as a weapon! I hope the people back on Earth don't hear about this!"
Our heroes had arrived back on the docking bay where Blorch the mechanic had just finished repairing Q-51. "There we go", said Blorch. "He's as good as new."
"It's like I was plucked fresh from the vine", said Q-51. And it was true. All the bunny nibbles were completely gone from Q-51's skin.
"Thank you, Blorch", said Xylena in a rushed voice. "Just put it all on my account. Sorry we can't stay, but we have to leave now! Goodbye!" Our heroes quickly rushed back into the rocket and blasted off leaving the space station.
"But what about my picture with me and the Earthlings?!" cried Blorch as more security robots arrived at the scene and found the rocket cucumber blasting out of sight. "Can I get a picture with you guys?" Blorch asked the frustrated robots.
Soon, Q-51 was far away from the space station and was continuing the flight. Our heroes were sitting in their pea pod chairs exhausted. Chad was still holding the Tara Tomato in his hands. "Oops, after all the excitement, I forgot you were still a tomato, Tara", said Chad as he placed Tara on the floor and took out his pepper shaker. Chad tried to sprinkle some pepper on the tomato, but nothing came out.
"Oh drat!" cried Chad. "I'm all out of pepper!" F.T. made a concerned squeak.
"I'm sorry, Tara", said Chad, picking the tomato back up. "Until we can find some more pepper, you'll have to stay a tomato."
"What's that about pepper?" asked Wilbur who was too busy studying his food bazooka. Suddenly, a huge storm of pepper blasted from the bazooka covering the entire cockpit. Everyone started sneezing including the Tara tomato who suddenly turned back into a girl.
"What a relief", said Tara, sniffling.
"Thanks Uncle Wilbur", said Chad.
"No problem", said Wilbur. "With my new grub generator, we won't be starving to death on this space trip. I can make us pizzas galore!" Then the bazooka went off again blasting pizzas everywhere. Everyone ducked down as gooey circles of cheese and crust were stuck to the walls.
"Maybe I'd better put this thing down until mealtime", said an embarrassed Wilbur as he set the bazooka down on the floor.
Whitley approached a splattered pizza on the wall, pinched off a piece of it and ate it. "Not bad", said Whitley. "This is even better than that breakfast pizza we had this morning."
"But we never had a chance to try that breakfast pizza, remember?" asked Chad.
"Oh yeah, that's right", said Wilbur. "The last thing I remember is putting it in the oven, I mean, red pepper." Just then, some smoke started to enter the cockpit.
"Where's that smoke coming from?" asked Chad.
"It looks like it's coming from the direction of the galley", said Tara.
"Oh no, ROASTY!" cried Xylena. They all rushed into the galley and found Roasty the Red Pepper Oven spewing smoke from his huge mouth.
"Somebody get it out of me, quick!" cried Roasty.
"Hold on", said Wilbur as he took his pizza paddle and tried to scrape burned pizza from Roasty's mouth.
"Are you all right, Roasty?" asked Xylena.
"I'll be fine", said Roasty. "Even though I'm probably gonna be tasting burnt mozzarella for a week. I should've listened to my mom and become an Easy Bake Red Pepper. I work better with kids anyway."
Wilbur put the charred pizza down on the table and studied it. He then took off his helmet and put it over his heart. "Let us have a moment of silence for a brave crew member we just lost." He said sadly.
"What crew member?" whispered Xylena puzzled.
"He's talking about the pizza", whispered Chad who had his baseball cap over his heart. "Uncle Wilbur treats his pizza creations like they were his own kids."
"Xylena", said Wilbur. "Can you please have this poor pizza ejected from this rocket? I want to give it a proper burial in space."
"Sure", said a confused Xylena as she led Wilbur to a nearby ejection tube. The burned pizza was placed into the tube, then got sucked away and blasted into space.
"Farewell, young fried egg and hominy grits pizza", said Wilbur, looking out the porthole. "It's a shame you never got tasted during your short life."
"No offense", Xylena whispered to Chad. "But you Earthlings are the strangest creatures in the universe."
"To tell you the truth, I think I agree", said Chad as he watched his Uncle Wilbur pressing his sad face against the glass of the porthole.
Back in Dr. Gangreen's rocket, Gangreen noticed Igor talking on a cell-phone. "Hello, I'd like to order a pizza please", said Igor.
"Igor, what are you doing?" demanded Gangreen.
"I was hungry and I wanted to order us some pizza", said Igor. "But all I'm hearing is static."
"We're in the middle of outer space you dweeb!" grumbled Gangreen. "We're many miles away from the pizza place! And how exactly is a pizza supposed to come our way out here?" Suddenly, something hit their windshield.
"It's a pizza!" smiled Igor. "Whoa, those pizza dudes sure are making their deliveries quicker these days! I didn't even tell them where we were too!" Igor put on a space helmet with a tube attached and stepped out the door. Gangreen watched puzzled as he saw his assistant pull the pizza off the outside of the window and then step back inside and closed the door. Then Igor removed his helmet and took at bite out of the charred pizza.
"Aw bummer, they burned it!" said Igor. He took out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hello, Finletter's Pizza. I appreciate the extra fast service, but I think you should really take your time with the cooking. You brought my pizza burned and it didn't even come in a box."
"Just end this chapter now!" grumbled Gangreen pulling out his hair.
TO BE CONTINUED