Disclaimer
I do not own Naruto.
Summary
Life is hard for a chunin like Iruka. Grading tests, not killing students and sending ninja out on missions to their deaths. It's even harder when he has to take care of a jounin turned three year old chibi.
Sequel to Plastic Ponies.
Author's Notes
When I wrote this, I was building a cathedral on a hundred to one scale. I think the only thing it's missing, besides actual stained glass, is a working bathroom. It took me almost sixty hours of gluing and cutting of wood, just for one class.
Also, I just found out I have to do work, as in multiple research papers, in every single one of my classes over spring break. That's over fifty hours of work over seven days.
Seriously, I'm bushed right now.
'No, no, no, no, no...'
"It'll only be a few days at the most. A week I think was the time limit that Sandaime noted." The shuffling of many papers as one searched vainly for an answer.
'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!'
A muffled giggle that turned into a badly suppressed cough. "Besides, you'd have a few days off from school to take care of him. No skin off your nose, the other teachers will understand."
'No, No, No, No, No!'
"You might have to take Kakashi-kun to school tomorrow, but I'm sure he'll be good." A bright, "YEAH!" came from another blonde, earning him a glare.
'NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!'
A shrug of womanly shoulders accompanied a manicured hand patting the back of a pig, who was lounging on top of a pair of slightly muscular legs. "Then I guess we can let Sasuke and Naruto take care of him. They are his students."
'Wait? They can't do that! No, don't think that way. No, No, No! That will be my final answer!'
"I just hope those two don't get attacked by the other ninja when they find out about Kakashi's predicament. They all are very keen to see Kakashi's face, even if it is a child's." A well calculated smirk. "And it's too bad that Naruto and Sasuke don't know their abilities well enough to fight off a squadron of jounin without killing them. They don't know how ruthless those ninja can be in trying to see Kakashi's face."
'I will not do it. Steel yourself, she's is not going to force you as hokage to obey her command.'
Tsunade stared at Iruka as he struggled with himself, his face turning cherry red as he concentrated on not yelling or blurting out something that could be used against him. She tilted her head to look at Naruto, who was still moping from the glare from his old teacher, and winked. "Is he always like this when he's thinking?"
Naruto shrugged, "Sometimes he passes out if we don't stop him in time, or when he finally makes a decision." He moved over to Sasuke, looking down at the mop of gray hair that was a lot shorter than it used to be, attached to a very small child. "I think Iruka-sensei should take care of Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said firmly, receiving a nod from his dark haired companion.
"Interesting that you think so...Well, we are just going to have to speed this process up." The gold haired hokage placed Tonton on the ground, ignoring the squeal of protest, and clicked the button of the intercom on her desk.
Leaning forward, pointedly looking at Iruka, he was starting to look a little blotchy, Tsunade smirked. "Shizune, are you at your desk?" A muffled response came from the other end. "I need you to find Haruno Sakura. She should be with the other medi-nin's."
'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-wait, Sakura? She can't be thinking that Sakura would do this? What am I thinking? Sakura would jump at the chance to take care of a cute kid. ... Did I just think cute? No, he's evil and a brat.'
Waiting for a moment, the medical buildings were only next door, the hokage, a young jounin and the three other males in the room were greeted with a flustered Sakura running through the doors. "What is it, hokage-sama." Sakura said quickly, her face flushed slightly from running.
"I have a special mission for you, Sakura." Tsunade picked up a pen and started writing down a sheet of paper. She hoped she looked dramatic, even if she was only doodling a picture of Tonton flying a kite. "I need you to look after Kakashi for me."
'She can't do that! That isn't fair! She should get an adult! Someone who knows what Hatake-san is capable of doing, even in that state!'
"Kakashi-sensei?"
"Is now, unfortunately, a three year old and I need someone to watch over him for a week." Tsunade pointed with the end of her pen to the small mass still clutching to Sasuke's shirt, obviously dozing. "Since Umino-sensei is taking such a long time to decide if he should accept the mission, I wondered if perhaps you would like the mission."
The pink haired teen stared at Kakashi, pure glee in her eyes, but then she began to think about the proposition. 'She offered it to Iruka-sensei and he said no?' She looked at her past teacher, confusion welling up in her chest. 'But Kakashi-sensei...After all those years and Iruka-sensei still doesn't have a clue.'
Sakura sighed, staring at the ground. "I'm afraid I have to say no, hokage-sama." She tried to keep her face steady, she really did, but she felt her defenses crumble a little.
Hopefully they'll think she's upset because she couldn't take care of Kakashi, not because of the strife her teacher had to go through for the last few years. Kakashi had gone on multiple missions just to get away from Iruka-sensei, though he said he found the pony-tailed chunin quite annoying and he needed some fresh air away from them as a team, exhausting himself so he didn't have to think about the past, she now knew.
One time he had three S-class missions assigned to him that had to be finished in two weeks. After getting out of the hospital, one of the missing-nin had stabbed him in the shoulder and torn his muscle while poisoning him, the jounin had disappeared from the community for a couple of days. After searching, his team had found him sleeping in his apartment, where he had been for four straight days recharging his depleted batteries.
"I...I think..." She was startled from her thoughts when she felt a light tug on her pants, looking down to find a singular gray-blue eye staring up at her. Sakura felt her throat physically close at seeing her teacher looking so forlorn and lost. "I can't do it. I'm sorry." She leaned down to disengage the fingers from her skirt, trying to ignore the sick feeling creeping up her throat.
The small figure deflated, slumping to the ground near her feet. "Don't like me either." A sigh followed the barely heard statement, both muffled by the cloth that fit loosely across the pale face. "Okay." Kakashi murmured, a finger tracing a knot of wood on the floor.
"No."
Five heads snapped towards Iruka, whose face had returned to its normal, tan color, albeit, a little paler. The chunin walked forward and scooped up the mass that weighed almost nothing. "I like you." He said quietly next the child's ear, ignoring everyone for the moment, missing the look that passed between the three students and the hokage.
Kakashi smiled; his eye curving and mask slipping down a little, and burrowed his face into the teacher's neck, suddenly shy of the larger man.
"Iruka, does this mean you'll take the mission?" Tsunade lazily drawled, petting her pig, who had decided to somehow crawl back into her lap. "I can still ask someone else to do the job, like Gai." She ignored the shiver that went up every spine in the room, even Tonton, except for Kakashi, who didn't seem to remember Gai.
No worries. The great, green beast of Konoha was sure to reveal himself to his rival anytime soon.
She waved her hand at the others in her room. "You're all dismissed." Tsunade yawned with the hand, standing up with Tonton secure in her arms. "It's late and it's going to get colder the longer you all stay here. Go home before you get sick and die." Then, with a few hand seals and the dropping of her pig, everyone in the room was teleported into the street below.
"If you want, Iruka-sensei, we can take care of him." Naruto said as he pulled his body off the ground, holding a hand out for Sasuke while the other hand ran through his golden hair to free it from the debris that had lodged itself into the spiky mass.
Sakura nodded, having somehow remained standing after being teleported rather recklessly, and wrung her hands. "Kakashi-sensei might be some trouble. It might be easier if we three looked after him, kind of like a personal mission assigned by him? Then you wouldn't have to change your teaching schedule, Iruka-sensei, or worry about him as he grows up."
Iruka stared at his past students for a moment, a dazed look of surprise etched on his face as it just caught up with his brain what he had agreed to do, "I'll be fine." He said, nodding his head and smiling hesitantly, "I've dealt with kids before, so it should be easy taking care of this monster."
A pause in the chunin's reassurances as his brow furrowed, "Sakura, what did you mean by 'grow up'?" He directed a patented, Teacher Glare of Great Understanding, Don't Think You Can Lie to Me Stare TM at Sakura, and she, being out of practice, automatically felt a little woozy. "Sakura, answer me." He pushed, noting the pink haired girl's sudden interest in her new snow boots.
Sakura's gaze slowly traveled from the ground to her teacher's face, bottom lip trembling as she struggled to hold in the confession of what happened four years ago. 'How come this never happens to the others?' She thought ferociously as she shot a look at Naruto and Sasuke, who were currently staring at each other with a dreamy far-off look. Probably imagining what the other looked like if their clothes magically flew off that instant.
Biting the inside of her cheek, Sakura decided that maybe it would be the best to just tell the truth. Maybe someone would help her with a little lie, like Naruto. Better yet, Sasuke! He did make that lie to Neji when the white-eyed boy's lunch went missing; something about a hoard of squirrels of questionable virtue stealing it to bring to their king, who was residing in an acorn castle.
"Well, Iruka-sensei, I was just thinking about that time when you-"
She was promptly cut off as a cloud of smoke wandered over and engulfed the group. Luckily, there was always a strong breeze in Konohagakure after the sun set, so they didn't choke on the acrid air.
"Hello, Azuma-san." Sakura said instead, thankful for the sudden appearance of the jounin. He had stopped her from revealing the past, something Sandaime had sworn everyone to secrecy the morning Iruka was back to his normal self. Sakura thought the old leader did it to save Iruka's pride, but four years of maturity had exposed to her the wisdom that her twelve year old self couldn't comprehend.
"Have any of you seen Kurenai? She took the key to the apartment and won't tell me where she hid it." The cigarette toting man said, head snapping from side to side in an attempt to spot his newly appointed roommate with benefits. As with four years before, Kurenai and Azuma were still stubborn enough to say they didn't like the other at all, even though they were now sleeping, and acting, like an old couple more and more as time passed.
Just as Azuma was going to continue his rant of needing to get to sleep early because he had many, very important, no-not drinking, things to do the next day, a soft yawn was heard from the small form curled up in Iruka's arms. Everyone looked on in amazement at Kakashi as he turned his head to regard them, his single eye shining with an innocence that he lost at the young age of five years old.
"It can't be..." Azuma muttered. His jounin senses were in high alert from trying to find Kurenai so he automatically deduced who this youth could be. It was actually a quite simple task, when one set their mind to it. Ninja led very dangerous lives and many things could go wrong, also there weren't that many people in the village with gray hair to start with.
So, after much careful debating inside his head, which only took about three seconds, jounin had to think fast to stay in the job, Azuma leaned in and studied the child closer, unconsciously speaking the name of his now, in his eyes, fallen comrade. "Kakashi?"
At the mention of his name, the child moved his head to stare at Azuma, a giggle escaping from the cloth covered lips when it saw the shell-shocked face of the cigarette smoking man. Suddenly frightened at seeing such an expression on an adult, it got scary after more than three seconds; Kakashi turned a bit more and spotted Sasuke.
He smiled and gurgled happily, arms reaching out to the teen, "Here!" He chirped loudly, whimpering when Sasuke didn't respond, the Uchiha couldn't move since Naruto had developed a crushing hold on his hand, Kakashi rolled over and shoved his head into Iruka's chest to hide himself from the taller man.
"It's just like what happened last time..." Azuma muttered as he stood, casting a suspicious eye on Iruka before moving away in a brisk manner. "I think I heard Kurenai calling, something about a full-body massage!" And with a quick wave, Azuma disappeared into the inky night.
As Iruka turned to glare at his past students, and force them to tell him what was going on after he tortured them for three days and three nights, twenty-four hours for each teen, he was amazed at finding little wisps of smoke floating where his students had been.
He looked down at the snuggling child and sighed, "Why did you have to teach them how to teleport?"
Iruka shuffled into his house, closing the door with his foot as he placed Kakashi onto the front step that led into a hallway. As he sat down next to the child, untying his sandals and thinking about the late dinner he would probably be preparing, the chunin glanced over at Kakashi. The smile that resulted from seeing the three year old couldn't be repressed.
The small boy had pulled his shoes off and they lay forgotten in a small pile on the ground because he was surveying his new opponent, attempting to put a little distance between him and the newly appointed 'demon'.
Tootsie calmly stared back at the jounin, tail flicking in back of her in agitation of being woken up from her seventeen hour nap. Meowing quietly, she stood up and strode over to Kakashi with the intent of rubbing her head against the small child and hopefully making him fall onto the ground.
Tootsie had a very sick sense of humor.
The feline forgot her woes of no dinner from her owner who no longer loved her when a small hand hesitantly began to pet her gently, scratching behind the sensitive ears.
Iruka smiled and pulled himself off the step, thinking it was time to see if Kakashi would eat, knowing his cat would keep the youth occupied for the while. Leaving the sound of purring, he went into the kitchen and sighed when he spotted the clock. 'It's late, I'll just give him a big breakfast tomorrow before...school...'
Iruka slapped himself in the head, already dreading what tomorrow would bring.
"Kakashi-san?" Iruka shook his head, wondering why he was still using the title as he moved back into the front part of his house only to find his cat completely curled around the lithe boy and her purring had risen to a higher decibel.
Kakashi turned to smile at Iruka for a second before leaning down and grabbing the cat around the stomach, skewering the trust that had just been formed with the animal. He stood up proudly, albeit a little shyly at meeting Iruka's eye, the cat's bottom still resting on the floor, and walked a step or two while dragging Tootsie along with him. "Fat cat." He giggled, bouncing the cat up and down as he continued to hold her.
Tootsie looked up at her owner, a plaintive meow asking him why he left her with this child, who was the kid anyway and if he was going to get her dinner in one syllable. Another meow that issued from the small cat, much louder than the last, screamed GIVE ME FOOD OR I SHALL SMITE THEE!
This frightened Kakashi into dropping her. That or the child wisely decided that it was time for him to release his hold on something that might eat him.
Iruka smiled, following his cat down the hallway with his eyes before turning back to Kakashi. The chunin sensei would swear later on, after many drinks that this was how he fell in love with Kakashi, despite the other man's fervent assurance to his fellow ninja that he saved Iruka from an avalanche and the pony-tailed man pledged his love from there on in.
Sitting on the floor in a crumbled heap, the child stared at the receding back of his first opponent that he lost to. Instead of brushing it off, like his future self would, Kakashi looked up at his guardian, his singular eye shining as he compared Iruka silently with Sasuke. "Help?" He asked quietly, holding his hands up in a pleading manner to the chunin.
His heart melting, and whose wouldn't, even if Kakashi was a brat in their minds, Iruka stooped over and collected the mass of sadness that was the boy at the moment, "It's okay." He said while he moved down the hallway to his bedroom, thinking that Kakashi was just tired and that was why he was acting so...Un-Kakashi-like. "You're going to go to bed and everything will be better in the morning."
'Or I will be killing our hokage and mounting her head on the wall. Right after I kill Kakashi.' He silently added to himself as he pushed open the door with his foot.
Placing the toddler on the bed, Iruka had to suppress a blush when Kakashi held his arms up again, this time for the chunin to lift up the shirt Tsunade had wrestled him into. "He's just a kid, just a kid. You don't need to worry about him giving you a lecherous smile, or a little grope, or anything like that..." Iruka muttered under his breath, having never been on the receiving end of anything like that from Kakashi, but he heard stories and ninja would never lie, right?
Huddled underneath the comforters, Kakashi's trademark bush of hair waved slightly as he changed his position. "Stay here with me?" He asked sweetly, most likely smiling underneath his mask, which the child had refused to take off. Small fingers held onto the hand that had tucked him in, pleading not to be left alone.
"I can't." Iruka ruffled the mass of hair, cursing himself after the deed was done. "I have some work to do. I'll be back in a few minutes, I swear." Iruka mock frowned down at the little boy, "So go to sleep."
Kakashi nodded sternly, bottom lip sticking out so much one could see the outline through the mask, and promptly collapsed on the bed, fake sounding snores coming from his lips as he "fell asleep", small giggles escaping from the boy as he thought of how he was tricking the adult. A few moments later the obnoxious snores had transformed into small murmurs of sleep coming from parted lips as Kakashi unwittingly slipped into dreamland against his wishes.
'His acting is a little over the top, but I guess that's what Kakashi would be like when he was little...' Iruka mused as he left the room, keeping the door open...just in case. 'But he was very quiet. Strange for a child...'
Shaking these thoughts from his head, Iruka grabbed a comforter from the hall closet and ambled over to the couch, where his trusted feline companion lay waiting, sprawled across the top section with an ease only accomplished by cats and drunks.
'At least this will be over by tomorrow...I'll make Tsunade change him back so I can get back to my life without Hatake Kakashi in it.' Then the chunin-sensei let his thoughts drift off into sleep, ignoring the strange smell that always seemed to come from his cat, instead concentrating on her unusually loud purring, and allowed his body to contort to the lumps located in his couch.
Iruka jolted back into reality when slight pain laced through his stomach, caused by his cat that was used his stomach as a springboard to gain the needed height to jump over the coffee table. Wondering why his cat would leave, she slept like a rock most of the time, and wincing when he prodded the offended section of his stomach, he rolled over to see if he could find her.
And promptly fell off the couch.
"Shit..." Iruka grumbled as he rubbed his head, glaring at the table that he had nicked his head with. "Stupid table..." He looked up and saw the glowing eyes of Tootsie staring at him, closing at intervals as she blinked. "Stupid cat, waking me up at," The chunin looked at a clock, his eyes squinting in the dim light, "Two in the morning."
As he muttered angrily, standing up and falling over again when he discovered one cannot walk with a blanket wrapped around one's legs, Iruka heaved a sigh and pulled himself off the ground. "This is great. Just how I wanted to start the day." Iruka hopped on one leg as he struggled to release himself from the comforter prison that had formed through the night.
"Might as well do something productive with this time, like checking on Kakashi and making sure he didn't escape...Probably ran off to Sasuke...brat..." Iruka muttered as he attempted to run his fingers through his hair, wincing when he found that it was still in a ponytail and in complete disarray from being slept on.
Puling out his hair tie, and a sizable hunk of hair, the chunin shook out his hair and groaned as the greasy locks settled at the base of his neck. "Maybe I'll frighten him off so I can actually get work done, and not have to look after him."
With that in mind, and feeling a little lightheaded from ripping his hair out, Iruka strode over to his door with his cat on his heels.
Expecting the child to be asleep, it was two in the morning; Iruka was surprised when he opened the door to see the child sitting up in the bed. Pushing the door open the rest of the way, the chunin walked forward cautiously to the bed. "Kakashi?"
At the sound of his name, the boy jerked his head up and stared at Iruka as if he was his savior. "You promised..." Kakashi muttered, head dropping down to land on his knees so he could stare down at the blankets covering his body.
Iruka sat down on the bed, lying down after a moment's hesitation next to the child and hummed, confused at what the child was alluding to. The chunin stiffened when the small jounin lifted his head and glared at Iruka weakly. The watery moonlight was able to pick up the faint glimmer of wetness on the pale cheeks.
Iruka leaned over and pulled Kakashi towards him. "I'm here now, so stop crying." He sighed heavily when the smaller form began to hiccup at his words, rubbing the child's back in an attempt to comfort him and trying to sooth his own growing headache.
As Kakashi quieted down, much to Iruka's relief, he stopped stare up at his newly assigned guardian with pure trust in his visible eye. Smiling, the corner of his mouth could be seen above his slipping mask, he snuggled into the warm chest in front of him. "Happy you came..." He said quietly, falling back into an untroubled sleep.
'This world is lucky that three-year-old's don't suffer heartbreak like adults.' Iruka thought as he looked out his window at the still sleeping Konohagakure, avoiding the urge to check on the child attached to his front as if it were the plague. 'Or else this broken promise would not have been so easily resolved.'
Iruka felt his mood turn a complete 180o when he finally looked down and saw a puddle of drool on his shirt, his eyebrow ticked dangerously. 'I hate this little brat.'
Author's Notes
I'm sorry, but the point when Kakashi gets picked up by Iruka for the first time. GAH! I write such cuteness, I feel myself getting cavities!
Will Kakashi remember what happened to him all those years ago? Will Iruka refrain from killing the now younger jounin? And where are all the female ninja, who are known for squealing over small, adorable children? Oh dear...
Driving to Disney World right after I post this chapter for you guys. Review, it keeps the creative juices flowing!
On a side note...
If you happen to have some ideas that you think are totally awe-inspiring and would be cool in my story, drop a line, even though I have most of the story planned out so far. Send your awesome-ness to me through mail, see my profile, or PM me at Gaiaonline on at DC-Chan.