DISCLAIMER: I don't own those characters, the plot, and the real people who are alive or dead. Those characters are owned by Clamp. The plot is owned by Kathleen Givens.

Gomen!!! I am so busy with college life and also final exams, but I am so relieved that it is over.

Chapter 2

"His name is Lord Timber now." Mother said. "He was the son of a younger brother when I met him, but he inherited his uncle's title. He was never a clerk of the Wardrobe; that was a fabrication and I wish I'd never invented it, for its' make you far too fond of the Palaces. He did not marry me. He was already married, long before we … before you were born. He did not die. I am sorry that I let you believe that all these years. He has a home and a wife and children in the south, in Tibet, near the China border."

She paused, and then continued, her hands pressed together at her waist.

"You, Tomoyo, like your grandmother, are illegitimate. You must be wiser than I was. Do not trust the hunters. Never trust men."

Her mother turned her face away. Tomoyo rushed to embrace her, assuring her it made no difference. But of course it did. She was hurt that the truth had been kept from her for so long, and excited to discover that her father was still alive. Perhaps she could travel to meet him. But would he want to meet her? He'd abandoned them, after all. But still… her father was alive. And for years she had not known. Her emotions were tempered by the pain in her mother's eyes.

"Why did you not tell me?" she asked at last.

"At first you were too young to understand. And when you were old enough, I knew it would change the way you thought of me. What young girl wants to her that her mother was a wanton?"

"Mother! You are hardly a wanton! It doesn't change how I think of you." But even she said the words, she knew they were not true. All these years of being lectured to, of the repeated demands that her behavior be above reproach, and now to discover that her mother had been ... What? Foolish? Wanton? Surely her mother had never been a wanton, Tomoyo told herself. But she also knew that her mother never considered the consequences of her actions. Perhaps she'd been like that as young girl, plunging into situations without heed to the results, her emotions flaring and dying, hot and cold, as they still do now. And now she was bitter. But all those years… and to discover now, just as she was about to be thrust into the court, that she herself was illegitimate. That she was, like her grandmother, a bastard.

"It's doesn't," she said again, knowing that, like her mother, and she was capable of dissembling. It was an unquieting realization.

Her mother's eyes blazed. "But of course it does! It should! You need to be more careful, less trusting than I was. And your great-grandmother before me, though hers was the lesser sin, for how does one say no to an emperor? She had no choice and no family to protect her. But I did… I should know better, Tomoyo. I should never have believed him. I brought on my own ruin with my unseemly behavior. I was wanton."

"You were young. You were foolish."

"I was indeed young, and far more a fool. And that is why I warn you, why I have always warned you about men. They cannot be trusted."

"Would you ever tell me if I'd not been chosen as one of the empress's ladies? If you were not fearful now that someone like Lady Dickleburg would have told me…would you ever have told me yourself?"

"I always meant to tell you. When the time was right. When you were old enough. I meant to tell you. But…" Mother straightened her shoulders. "But perhaps not, Tomoyo. It's not something I ever wanted you to know."

"Are you…does he…do you hear from him?"

"Occasionally. At first he sent money, but in the last ten years…nothing."

"He has a wife, you said. And children."

"Seven, last I heard."

"Seven." Tomoyo was surprised. "I have sisters…or brothers."

"Yes. He has two sons older than you. And a daughter…just your age. And younger ones. I know nothing of them other than how many there are. Tomoyo, can you forgive me?"

"Oh, Mother!" Tomoyo rushed to hug her, then stepped away and gave her a tremulous smile. "Hai, Mother. It changes nothing. Hai I understand."

"Iie, you do not. You cannot. Until a man blinds you so completed that you will forget yourself, you will never understand. My prayer for you is that day never comes. Never let down your guard. Trust no one."

The first three days that Tomoyo served Empress Meiling was gray and cold. The fourth was brighter and the fifth clear and brilliantly warm. Tomoyo's mood matched the weather-gloomy and uncertain at first, then eventually clearing as she become more familiar with her new life and learned the tasks required of her. She'd been chosen to serve the empress. Of course, she was delighted. She told herself that daily. Her resentment against the emperor still burned within her, but she kept her silence, biding her time. When she had been at the court longer, when the empress, with whom she'd not yet a private conversation, knew her, when she proved her loyalty, then she would broach the subject of Sakura's people.

In the meantime, she had enough to deal with, learning her new responsibilities. And coming to terms with the truth of her birth. She tried not to wonder why her mother had waited so long to tell her the truth about her father's abandoning them. It would have fit so well in one of her mother's lectures about predatory men. She was sure that her mother had simply meant to caution her against being wanton. Or had her mother's motive in not telling her been less pure? She should be more generous, she told herself, less judgmental of her mother. Her mother was fragile, she knew that. And bitter, which was understandable after having been tossed aside.

Her father had seven children, two daughters and two sons who were older than she. She, who had longed for a sister all her life, had one. And at least two brothers. And she would never know any of them. She'd not asked her mother more-the questions that had occurred to her later, during the hours when she'd sat idle in the service of the empress. Waiting. She was surprised at how much time she spent waiting.

"At last I understand why I am called a lady-in-waiting." She told her grandmother when she was able to visit her, "for that's truly what I do."

She had been given the day to herself, asked only to return to Tokyo by dark, and in the clear morning had taken a boat down the river to see her grandmother, who greeted her with a wide smile and a sadness behind her eyes, which let Tomoyo know her mother had visited and told grandmother that Tomoyo now knew that she was illegitimate. They did not speak of it at first, taking to stead of Tomoyo's new life.

"I spend most of my time waiting. I thought I would be sitting in court, or walking in the garden with the empress. And I do both. But I had no idea that a lady-in-waiting meant just that."

Grandmother laughed with her and pushed a plate of figs closer to Tomoyo.

"What are your duties? What is the empress's day like?"

"We must rise first, of course, and ready her clothing and tidy the rooms and clear the chamber pots if they need cleaning, and receive messages. Most mornings-listen to me, in her service five days and already an expert!" Tomoyo laughed at herself. "The emperor visits every day, sometimes with her counselors. And the children are often there as well."

"The children each have their own household, do they not? How many are still at home? Empress Meiling had, what, fourteen?"

"Fifteen, but only six are still alive. Can you imagine, only six?"

"It's common, sweet. They were fortunate. Princess Ting is married and lives in Aomori, is that right? And Mei, the one they call Mei of Acre-she's the one who married Gilbert Ling in May?"

"Hai! I wish I'd been with the empress then. I'm told it was a magnificent ceremony at Tokyo Abbey. Surely you heard all about it?"

Grandmother laughed. "Surely I did. And just as surely I've forgotten. Unlike the rest of Tomoeda, I do not spend my day discussing what the emperor's family does. Princesses are expected to marry well, and she did. And the other children?"

Tomoyo counted on her fingers. "Margaret was fifteen, Meiling II is eleven, Elizabeth is eight and Prince Mina is six. Lady Dickleburg says they've all inherited their father's willfulness."

"Lady Dickleburg? She is still at court? No one's murdered her yet?"

"Grandmother! Why ever would they?"

"She knows far too much. They must be paying her well to keep her silence. Do not trust her, sweet."

"Oh, I don't, but she's ever so amusing. And I'm starting to know Naoko Yanagisawa. She's been very kind to me."

"Naoko Yanagisawa?" Grandmother sniffed. "Her grandfather was a merchant!"

Tomoyo laughed. "So was mine."

"Your grandfather," Grandmother said archly, "was successful merchant, who became a warrior. He gave me a very comfortable life. Her grandfather sold fish on the docks and then was able to buy a fish stall."

"Then how did she end up at court?"

"Naoko is lovely, which helped. And she had a benefactor. Naoko's mother married an old fool of a baron, who conveniently died shortly after Naoko and her sister were born. Now there was a woman who knew how to manage her life."

There was a pause. Tomoyo took a bite of fig. "Do you know him? My father? Did you ever meet him?"

Her grandmother sat back against the wall and watched her for a moment. "Timber? Many times. I despised him. Still do. He lied. From the first day, he lied, and my girl was foolish enough to believe him. There are men, Tomoyo, who cannot resist a pretty face or a willing young girl, and he is one. I daresay you are not the only child he fathered while he was here. The emperor fathered fifteen. I'm sure Lord Timber fathered as many. He could not keep his … he has no restraint."

"He was married before he met Mother?"

"For several years."

"And this was widely known? No one told her?"

"He was of little importance. It never entered my mind that she would find him attractive. He was furtive in his pursuit. I knew there was someone who had caught your mother's interest, but I thought it was the lad down the street. I knew he would not harm her. He loved her. Still does, if you ask me, but he's been married for years now, and he's not the kind to break his vows."

"My mother says she was a wanton."

Grandmother sighed. "Iie, although there is a wanton streak in our blood. Certainly my mother had it, but certainly yours did not. My mother never truly regretted her fall from grace. She told me all my life that I should be proud that I was the daughter of an emperor, for all the good that ever came of it. Although, this house was given to her and one cannot sneeze at that. The wages of sin, I suppose, are not always as paltry as one might think. But, sweet, you need to be wiser than my mother, and yours. You see how bitter she was. It is always the woman who pays the price, never the men. Be wise, my dear."

"Why did you never tell me?" Tomoyo tried to keep accusation out of her tone. "Why did neither of you ever tell me?"

"It was not my place to tell you; it was your mother's. I had hoped you would never know. Now you are mourning the death of your vision of your father, not the real man. Why did you need to know that your vision was far from the truth?"

"Did he know-my father-did he know about me? He must have, Grandmother. I remember him…"

"Of course he knew. His uncle was a powerful man and through him Timber got your mother appointed to the empress's staff. He would not care for her, but at least he made sure she would eat, although you know that I would never have let you starved. But your mother was proud and would not accept my help. I begged her to come here, but she was determined to pay the price for her mistake."

"Me."

"Iie, Tomoyo, you were not a mistake. He was. A charming, handsome mistake. He would have left her broken-hearted and ruined. You gave her a reason to get up each day, and she needed that after he left her. Bastard!"

"That would be me, not him, Grandmother." Tomoyo smiled weakly, feeling tears threatening.

They stood instead in her grandmother's eyes for a moment. "I apologize, sweet. I spoke without thought."

"But that's what I am, is it not? A bastard."

"Iie. A well-loved child."

"A love child, you mean. She hates men, Mother does. She hates them."

Grandmother sighed. "Hai. But there are good men as well as the liars. Listen to her, but temper your caution with your wisdom of your own, Tomoyo. There are few more wondrous things than a good man who loves you, child. Your grandfather loved me, and your mother. And he loved you. He was good and faithful man. They do exit. I only wish he had lived to see you grown."

"What did he think of my father?"

"It was good thing that Timber left Tomoeda before your grandfather heard the news. But enough of Timber, Is it true that the Chinese have asked Emperor Minamoto to decide who will rule them?"

"That is what I've heard. There are thirteen competitors, including King Terada of England and even Minamoto."

"Thirteen! Why not a hundred? What foolishness this is." Grandmother shook her head in disgust. "The Chinese will never agree among themselves. It will be their downfall, their inability to come together. It will be better if they simply recognized Minamoto as the emperor and let the whole land be united under his rule. It would have happened eventually anyway when the Maid married to Emperor Mina. We all know the emperor would have been the real ruler until they were grown. And the world would be better place for it, if you ask me. Look how much better off Wales is now that it is under the emperor's aegis. So, will the emperor go to China? Will the empress?"

"I'm not sure. The assembly that he held in Hong Kong, at China, has concluded. I'm told that emperor will stay in the east and that the empress will travel to meet him in Hong Kong. Hong Kong! Think of all I'll get to see!"

"Perhaps even China, although why anyone would want to see China is beyond me. Even the English knew there is nothing up there. But enough of China. Tell me, what do you wear these days?"

Tomoyo laughed and told her grandmother about the marvelous new clothing she wore in her new position.

Her grandmother loaded a basket with fruits and treats for Tomoyo to take to her mother and sent lad to accompany Tomoyo back to the river dock, where she would take one of the many ferries that ran travelers from the Town to Tokyo and beyond. A light rain was falling as Tomoyo gave the lad a coin, and then paid the ferry-man and stepped onto the boat. Her arms were around the basket, and when the wind lifted her hair into her face, she could not brush it aside.

"Careful, young lady," said a male voice. "Here, I'll assist you."

She felt her hand taken and tossed her hair of her face. He was tall, the young man who held her hand, and dressed in the garb of one of the emperor's household knights. She thought she knew all the knights of the emperor's household, but she'd never seen this one before. She would remember him. His hair was black, brushed back from a face, dark brows over brown eyes, and the shadow of a beard on his jaw. His cheekbones were sharp, his chin sharp as well. His smile was wide. English, she thought.

"Thank you, sir," she said crisply, stepping into the hull of the boat and withdrawing her hand from his.

She placed the basket next to her and folded her hands in her lap, looking across the river. The rain began to fall harder. Travelers around her began to pull hoods over their heads and grumble to each other, but the boat was not even half full and she knew they'd have to wait before the boat would leave.

She was wrong. The knight leaned to talk with the ferryman, and she saw the coins exchanged, and then the ferry pulled away from the dock. The knight settled on the bench, her basket between them, and gave her another smile.

"I did not think you would wish to wait for the rain to soak us all though."

"Iie."

She could think of nothing else to say and sat there like a fool. Had he really paid the boatman to leave at once? She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He gazed placidly out over the water as the boatman steered them into the center of the river. He must be one of the knights who had returned with Emperor Minamoto from England, where he had spent much time in the last few years, overseeing his English lands. He'd brought many knights back with him, granting the knights lands and titles. This man was younger than most, but his accent was unmistakable.

"You are one of the Empress's maids?" he asked, his tone mild.

"Hai," she said, surprised.

"You must be the new one."

"How did you know, sir?"

"It was not difficult to guess. Everyone in Tomoeda knows the empress has a new attendant. You must become accustomed to being recognized and approached to talk with the queen for people's causes and requests."

She'd been warned of that, that she would be asked to plead cases for others, and she knew ladies-in-waiting who had done just that and been richly rewarded for it.

His smile was wide. And charming, Tomoyo ignored the echo of her mother's words. What harm could there be in being polite on their short voyage? The other passengers were watching them openly, some with obvious disapproval, and some with apathy, a few with smiles.

"And you are, sir?"

"Dave de Potter."

She gestured to his clothing. "Sir Dave de Potter? One of the emperor's knight?"

"Yes. I am, and your name, my dear lady-in-waiting?"

"I am Tomoyo Daidouji."

"I am pleased to have met you, my dear lady."

"And I you, sir."

"Coming from a tryst with a lover?" He asked.

"Iie! I was visiting my grandmother."

They were silent for a moment.

"Are you?" she asked.

"Coming from a tryst with a lover?" He laughed. "I am. I am in love with this town. When I have time with myself, I roam the streets and learn every inch of her." He leaned closer. "She will soon have no secret from me. I'll warrant I know her better than you do."

"I'll warrant you do not, sir I have lived here all my life. I used to play here on the very street where we caught this boat."

"Did you?" His smile was slow. "Last year?"

"I am not so young as that, sir?"

"Ah, but you are, sweet Tomoyo Daidouji. Innocence is shining from those lovely eyes of yours. In a few years you will be dull and bored, but now you still have fresh shine of youth. It is quite appealing."

She gave him a sidelong glance, unsure of what to say. He chuckled to himself, but he did not speak again. At the dock at Tomoeda he lifted her basket and carried it up the stair from the river, reaching back for her hand, as though they had taken this journey together before. She let him assist her, and then dropped his hand once they were on level ground.

"You are going to the palace?" he asked.

She nodded.

"As I am. I will escort you there."

They did not speak as they made their way through the crowd and past the guards, who nodded to them. Once inside, Tomoyo shook the rain from her cloak and pushed her hood off, reaching for the basket. Dave handed it to her, bowed low, and gave her a smile as he strode away. She watched him until he rounded the corner, and then smiled to herself. Dave de Potter, Emperor's knight.

AN: There will be Character guides for which CCS will be in the position from the book characters. Then see you for the next chapter soon. The next chapter will be great for SS fans because Sakura and Syaoran will meet in Syaoran's homeland. We will see.