Fox's Adventure to Fulfill Nothing

Chapter 3

"Power Rangers? That's so… bland…"

All of the Smashers were gathering around the TV, because an argument was going on between Falcon and Ness.

"But Power Rangers is TEH AWESOMEST THING EVAR!1" Ness protested.

"You'd rather watch a TV show with bad actors and bad everything as opposed to a super-fast insane racing show!? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard!" Falcon said.

"Well, you know, I'm actually smarter and more mature than you! You can't even get a girl!" Ness laughed.

"Have you ever gotten a girl?" Falcon asked.

"Uh… um… that random person from Earthbound 2?" Ness answered, laughing nervously.

"Hey, why don't we watch the news?" Fox suggested, walking in.

"Where were you, Fox?" Ness asked curiously.

"The TV station," Fox said.

"Okay…" Samus said.

Falcon changed the channel.

"Hello, and welcome to… Channel 213 News! I'm the anchor, Rick, and this is the co-anchor, Toad! Our top story today is about the show 'F-Zero Racers' being axed! Tell us more about that, Toad!" said Rick, who was on TV.

"Well, due to the unpopularity and the stupidness of the show, it's been axed! Now I'll read out these complaints from the 'F-Zero Racers' fan club!" Toad said. "Dear TV station,

Bring back the show or you will die painfully!

Yours,

Capt'n Falcon."

"Are there any more complaints?" Rick asked.

"No, in fact, Falcon is the only one in the fan base! Hah!" Toad laughed.

Everyone started to point at Falcon.

"Now our second story is about the actors in 'Power Rangers!' The actors for this show were caught red-handed stealing precious novelty Charlie Brown wigs! We sent our reporter 'Yellow Yoshi' to the scene," said Rick.

The screen cut to a shop with shattered glass everywhere, and it was raining.

"Yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi hup arararara, yoshi hup yoshi yoshi hup yoshi! Yoshi yoshi yoshi hup yoshi!" said the yellow Yoshi. "These actors have actually burgled the store, yes, and now they can't act again… can you even understand me?"

"We were just acting!" screamed an actor, being put in a police car.

"Um… can you explain why you are talking about cheese, Yoshi?" Rick asked.

"YOSHI YOSHI YOSHI! Yoshi hup yoshi yoshi yoshi! ARARARARARARA!" the Yoshi wailed. "I'm not talking about cheese! Anyway, the world is going to blow up soon, so I suggest you evacuate BEFORE YOU DIE!"

"Thanks, Yoshi! That's the end of the report for now; come back later!" Rick said, smiling.

"Coming up next… Power Rangers in High Tech Cars!" said a voice.

Everyone cheered.

The program started.

"Hey, Power Ranger #2, check out these cars!" said a janitor.

"Yes, Power Ranger #1, these cars are very check!" said a lawyer.

Laugh track.

Everyone stared blankly.

"We interrupt this show for some breaking news!" said Rick, straightening some paper. "Firstly, the show, 'Power Rangers in High Tech Cars,' is soon to have a live performance at the theatre… somewhere… also… WHAT!?"

Rick started to laugh so hard that he died.

"Uh… well, a mysterious stranger has given us this package… which Rick had opened, and he laughed to death. But anyway, this package contained Roy's diary! The mysterious stranger said that Roy himself had asked him to deliver this! And read it… for whatever reason…" Toad said. "Um… the first entry. Today I went to the market because I needed dinosaur toys for Marth… he's such a sissy wimpy dork. And the next page… I LUB MARTH!"

Toad laughed and started to choke.

"Roy's got to see this!" Falcon said.

Ness took Roy out of the padded cell.

"Roy, you just gave your diary to the media! Hahahahahahahahahaha!" Ness laughed.

"But I didn't give it – I was in a cell! I didn't have any communication devices – that doesn't – but – I – " Roy said, hyper ventilating.

"Sure! Anyway, just because we're better than you doesn't mean you have to make a self-embarrassing publicity stunt!" Samus said

"It's amazing how TV can make people so inattentive. I just got out of there without anybody noticing!" Fox said.

"Yeah, people are funny that way," Peach said, putting a salad in a dish washer.

"Um… say… could you get a chicken suit for me?" Fox asked.

"Those things are expensive!" said Peach.

"So?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Baloogna!" Peach said.

"Jig ig iggly!" Jigglypuff said, tapping Peach's shoulder. "I found something!"

The two looked at Jigglypuff's computer screen, and there they saw a chicken suit being sold for 1 cent.

"Let's buy that one!" Fox said, pressing a button.

"Sorry, dumb animals may not purchase these items," said a voice through the speaker.

"Maybe I should try," said Peach, pressing a button.

"Sorry, dumb animals may not purchase these items," said a voice through the speaker.

Peach scratched her head.

"Ig jiggly!" said Jigglypuff, pressing a button.

"Would you like it sent by express?" asked the voice again.

"Yep!" Fox said, pressing a button.

A chicken suit fell through the roof.

"Now to complete my master plan of evil! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Fox laughed.

"Hee hee hee," Peach giggled.

Fox stared at Peach.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Don't worry, I'll get cookies!"

Peach grabbed some cookies from a conveniently placed oven.

Fox shrugged, then started to eat one.

Falcon walked through the mansion.

He passed Luigi.

"Hey, Luigi, what are you doing?" Falcon asked.

"Plotting to rule the world!" Luigi cackled.

"Well, I'm plotting to kill everyone!" Falcon said.

"Why don't we team up so we can blow up the mansion, and then I'll kill you! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Luigi laughed.

"I like it! Except for the 'killing me' part," Falcon said.

"Well, to rule the world, I'd have to kill you since you're trying to rule the world as well meaning that you're my rival but I sincerely don't want to kill you so I'd have to kill you anyway, but that would be really sad so I don't see the point of-"

Falcon punched Luigi in the face.

"MWAHAHAHA! I rule the world!" Falcon laughed.

Peach fell through the ceiling onto Falcon.

"Luckily this Captain Falcon was here to support my fall!" Peach said, chuckling.

"Peach, how'd you fall down anyway?" Fox asked from above.

"Magical happy rainbows!" Peach said.

"…Okay…" Fox said, scratching his chin.

"Get off me!" Falcon screamed, kicking.

"Isn't Falcon a cutie-wutie. Yes you are! Yess you are!!!" Peach said, wide eyed.

"Falcon isn't one of your kittens," Fox, said, pointing to a box labelled: KITENS.

"Ig jiggly?" Jigglypuff said. "What's in there, anyway?"

"How'd I get stuck here?" Pit said to himself, inside a box. "And why is this box filled with dead cats?"

"It was the evil being of death that lead you here! That person is planning to make a new Wii game called: Kid Icarus: For Wii!" said a cat.

"What? But – that – I – Why am I talking to you anyway?" Pit asked.

"Be aware! The Wii game will make you jump – YOURSELF!" the cat hissed, raising its sharp claws.

"Nooo! I must stop it!" Pit said. "Wait. Who are you anyway? You're, like, a cat! Why am I talking to cats? That's just stupid!"

"It's annoying how people ask that a lot. Well, actually, I'm dead, and the only reason I appear to be alive is because you're crazy!" the cat said, smiling. (Like that cat in Alice in Wonder Land. He still scares me.)

"AAAAAH!" Pit screamed.

"You'll get used to it. Now, because everyone in the mansion is making this horrific game together, we must KILL THEM ALL!" the cat said.

"I don't know… I don't want to become one of those homicidal freaks that are already in the mansion…" Pit said. "You know, Luigi, Marth, Falcon, and-"

"Silence, fool! Don't you realise what this means!? This game will kill everyone else due to the lack of storyline and plot!" the cat said.

"So? I don't kill people unless I get extensive bribery! You know, I've only had to say this once," Pit said.

"Here, have this golden ticket!" the cat said, smiling again.

"Yay! I've got a golden ticket! I've got a golden ticket!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" the cat screamed.

"Sorry," Pit said sarcastically. "Hey, you know that Ike's gonna be in Brawl? It's like, awesome!"

"Don't tell me that Ike's one of those randoms from Fire Emblem," the cat said.

"It's amazing how many people hated Path of Radiance," said Pit.

"Let's get on with the killing already, okay?" the cat sighed.

"Killing!? What killing? I never agreed to kill! I would only kill if I had ext-"

The cat pointed to his golden ticket.

"It's not like you gave it to me!" Pit said.

"Now I shall use my mega hypno powers!" the cat said, staring at Pit.

Pit poked the cat in the eye.

The cat died.

"Well, that was easy," Pit said. "Hey, killing's actually quite fun!"

Pit climbed out of the box.

"ig jiggly jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff said. "AAAH! RABID CAT MONSTER!"

Fox started to slap Pit.

"You know, I don't think that was a monster," Peach said, still on top of the struggling Falcon.

"Yeah, but you always turn out to be wrong," Fox said.

"I'm Pit, though!" Pit shouted, slapping Fox.

"See?" Peach sneered.

"I'm sure this is an impostor who wants to kill everyone, Peach! Besides, why would a non-Pit person slap others? Only Pit does that!" Fox said.

"You're contradicting your point," said Peach.

"Ig jiggly! Jiggly jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff said. "Yeah! Get a life!"

Pit hit Fox with a piano.

"There! All done!" he said, triumphantly.

Everyone stared at Pit.

"I thought you all absolutely hated him!" Pit said in protest.

"True," said Peach.

They all started to disco dance.

OH NO A CLIFFHANGER!