"What is this thing?"
"That's a couch, you sit on it."
"What about this?"
"That's a globe of earth."
"I thought it was flat." Stan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Alana continued looking around the living room with growing curiosity. She stopped and stared at the TV. Stan picked up the remote and turned it on. Alana leapt up in fright and jumped in to Stan's arms again.
"Seriously, how are you so light?" Stan asked, weighing her again. Alana jumped down. "Soooo….. Shall we go and find a dark alley or something you can stay in cause-."
"I'm staying here." Alana said in a monotone. Stan frowned.
"Over my dead body."
"I can arrange that." Alana answered, eyes traveling to Stan's neck. At that moment Stan's mother walked in.
"Oh, who's your new friend Stanley?"
"My name is Alana." The vampire answered in a manner that Stan had to admit was adorable. He noticed Alana's eyes had a slight red glow. "I don't know where my parents are, I haven't seen them in years and I have nowhere to go."
"Well, you can stay here sweetie." Sharon answered, her eyes glowing faintly to.
"I don't want to be a bother ma'am." Alana answered innocently.
"It's no bother sweetie, stay here as long as you want." She turned and walked out, leaving Stan to stare at Alana in shock.
"I love bending people to my will." The vampire said, dropping the cute facade.
XXXXXXXX
"Stan, dude, you OK?" Kyle asked at recess the next day. "You seem pretty aggravated."
"Well, thanks to Kenny's stupid bet, there's a 3000 year old vampire living in my house!" Kyle looked at him oddly.
"Stan, I've seen a lot of screwed up things in my life, but that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"I'm serious Kyle! She took control of my parent's mind and made me have to go to the pet store so she could drain a cat of its blood!"
"Are you high dude?"
"No I'm not high! There's a 3000 year old vampire living in my- What the fuck are you doing here!?" Stan asked as Alana walked up to them, her hood up, arms crossed, and a frown on her face.
"I was looking for you!" The vampire snapped.
"Alana, can we talk later?"
"No." The vampire said shortly. Kyle stared at her in wonder.
"A-are you a real vampire?"
"Yes I am!" The vampire snapped.
"You don't have to be so rude."
"What do you mean? This is how I always act."
"In other words, she's on a permanent period." Kyle snickered at Stan's joke while Alana looked confused.
"Hey." Kenny said as he walked by, starring at Alana. "Nice ass!" He smacked her as, causing her to squeal in fright, grab the boy, and throw him into the wall of the school building so hard, the only thing left of Kenny was a splatter of bloody mush.
XXXXXXXX
Kenny groaned and sat up, catching the eyes on non other than Damien.
"Hello Damien." Kenny said, rolling his eyes. "How long this time?"
"Forever." The boy's answer was short.
"Seriously dude." Damien sighed.
"Kenny, the girl that killed you was Alana Bloodmoon. She is a 3000 year old vampire, which means she is immortal. Since you were killed by an immortal, you can never be resurrected again." Damien watched for a moment, then smiled in amusement as Kenny started throwing a fit.