Chapter Two

"What a fucking dipshit son of a mother fucking bitch. I swear his head is so far up his own asshole that it doesn't even look like it."

Oh Rosalie Hale, her words always make my day.

"Yeah, you're kind of preaching to the choir here Ro," I sighed as I leaned back against one of the bleacher's supports. Rosalie just shook her head and took another drag from her cigarette. Her beauty is one that many have, would, and will go under the knife to try and achieve. God just wanted to punish all of women kind by making Rosalie look like a human angel with her rosy blonde hair always styled with ease, perfect almond shaped eyes with unearthly bright light green irises, slender diamond shaped face with naturally pink cheekbones, baby smooth skin, and full lips but with a slightly overbearing upper lip. The only flaw I can see on her face is that her bottom row of teeth are slightly crooked but not enough to need dental work.

Shaking her head even more while she exhaled the smoke she spat, "I know a guy that can cut off one of his balls." I scoffed and scrunched my face in disbelief. "No seriously," she continued, "He owes me a favor because I let him squeeze my ass in front of his ex. He is such a fucking douche bag but he gets the job done. His sister got screwed over by a guy at her work that afterwards said, "If you don't like it sweetheart then you can just suck my balls." Two days later guy didn't have any balls for her to suck. They put them in a jar with some like vinegar and shit and today they're all white and shriveled up. Shits fucking crazy."

This is what I love about Rosalie. Looks like an angel but talks like a sailor.

Now I don't normally spend my Tuesday mornings under the bleachers watching someone smoke but I had no other option. Jasper (dickhead) is in all my classes and I wasn't ready to face him yet. Which basically left me to Rosalie and Emmett.

Besides Jasper (dickhead), Rose and Em are the only friends I have at Fork's High. I met Emmett about 20 seconds after I parked my big old rust red pickup truck on my first day. I pulled into the parking space, turned off the engine, and was sitting in my seat psyching myself up when BAM some dick in his big ass red jeep slams right into my bumper. "The clouds then opened up and God said, "I hate you Isabella Swan," I muttered before opening the door and getting out.

"What the hell!" I shouted as I slammed the door. The jackass in the jeep pulled into the space next to me and started to get out of the vehicle. "I know that my truck is a piece of shit but it's my piece of shit and I don't need your help in making my piece of shit even more shitty."

The driver of the jeep finally came into my view as he rounded the back of his jeep to survey the damage. Now to say this guy was muscular is an understatement. He was fucking huge. He was basically a stylish white version of a mini Terry Crews with brown curly hair, dimples, white t-shirt, dark jeans, and a deep tan motorcycle jacket.

The guy looked at the bumper of my truck and just gave a deep chuckle. Pushing up his aviator shades to rest on his head he walked toward me stopping about a yard away from me. "How are you doing? I'm Emmett McCarty," he said in a smooth voice with his hand extended towards me.

Oh, he was a suave motherfucker.

"How am I doing? Oh, jut peachy fucking keen," I yelled while I smacked his hand away. "You see it's not only my first day in a new hell school but it just got even better when some ass wipe slammed into my truck not even a minuet after I parked. So on my list of best days ever this is definitely number one. Yep, it has totally replaced my 8 birthday when my mom actually did in fact buy me a pony."

He chuckled again, "You, my new friend, are a feisty little chick. I like that."

"What?" I sighed, "Just apologize to me about my tuck and then I can leave and carry on with my probably going to get even worst day."

"I'm sorry about your trunk's bumper and I will pay for it," he said in monotone.

"Thank you," I moved to return to the cab of my truck but was blocked by his massive hand.

"You didn't let me finish," he mused. "I'll pay for all the work needed if and only if you'll give me a big ol' kiss right here and right now."

I scoffed, "You're kidding me right? You think that I'm so desperate for my shitty car to be fix back into its former shittyness that I would throw myself into a low grade version of prostitution?"

"Of course not. I may be a pig but I wouldn't demean a lady of your self-esteem and spunk. Besides my girl would kill me," he chuckled as he leaned against the bed of my truck. "But I won't pay for Big Rusty here until I learn your name."

I gave one small laugh, rolled my eyes, and opened the truck door. "Bella," I smirked as I pulled my worn leather brown messenger bag from the front cab and slammed the door, "Bella Swan."

Emmett started to laugh, "Like Tinker Bell . . . or more like Tinker Bella."

"And that's my cue to leave," I sighed and began to walk away.

I didn't get far before I heard, "I'll see you later Tink!" being boomed at me. I shook my head while I raised my hand above my head and gave one wave still facing forward.

And so began our friendship and a new nickname.

After that it turned out that Emmett was in almost every one of my classes and our banter turned into a kind of beautiful, smutty, ridiculous friendship that I have learned to cherish.

At lunch that first day Emmett introduced me to Rosalie who asked/conned me into going shopping for 'non-lesbian' clothes that Saturday within 5 minuets. To which I answered by scrunching my eyebrows together with a look of disbelief, grabbing my bag, and leaving the cafeteria. I then adventured to the library for study hall that next period which was where I met Jasper (dickhead).

"You know Bella, I may have something up my sleeve to make you feel better," Rosalie said in her singsong voice with a sly grin.

My head popped right up, "Could it be Mr. Morgan or one of his friends?"

"I'm sad to say that the Captain is out at sea at the moment," she smiled as she rifled threw her bag. "But the Goose has just flown back in this morning from Malibu," Rosalie's grin magnified as she pulled out her twin flasks, Monte and Carlo. Their both plain silver flasks but in a little arts and crafts project Rose and I decided to pursue we rhinestoned a big fancy M on Monte because he's for our fancy sophisticated drinks and painted on a funky C on Carlo since he's for our girly party drinks. Or as Emmett says, his 'if you tell anyone I like these ya'll are dead women' drinks.

"Throw me my main boy Monte," I smiled instantly perking up at the mention of their presence.

Rose tossed me Monte and I greedily took a long drink. The vodka ran down my throat nice and smooth leaving a nice burn in its wake. After a brief pause I took another one. Another pause. Another drink. "Ah. That's the fucking stuff," I sighed and tilted my head back to bask in my newfound haze. I was almost instantly calmed.

"There's nothing like a little sneaky peek during the school day," Rosalie giggled as she sat next to me on the metal bench.

I capped up Monte and put him in the front right pocket of my jeans. "What the hell is wrong with me Ro?" I sighed, "Things were going sooooo great then all of a sudden BAM he didn't fucking want me anymore."

"Honesty plank?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded, "Honesty plank."

We both turned to straddle the bench with our back towards each other and then we lied down on our backs perfectly straight with our arms glued to our sides. Once I felt the top of her head touching my own I exploded, "Do you think it was me? Who am I kidding of course it was me. You want to know why? Because he's fucking perfect."

"Like shit Bella. He is anything but fucking perfect. You are just too damn blinded by your feelings to see what an asshole he is. For one he can't walk past a mirror without looking at himself and fixing his hair. Not to mention that he's a cocky prick beyond all get out." She continued in her country bumpkin impression of dickhead, "What do y'all mean that yous have never tried fried pickles? Now I'm not going to toot my own horn but I've been known to make some of the best darn tootin' fried pickles that Texas had ever done seen. Why if I didn't move up here then I probably could have been famous or something for them like Paula Dean. Oh did I tell ya'll that the last time I was in the big city Seattle some lady from a modeling agency practically darn did corner me on the street and asked me to be a hair model? Boy howdy I was caught off guard but I can't say I was surprised, I mean my hair is more bouncy than Tigger and sleeker than an oil rig."

We busted into laughter. "I fucking love you Ro," I sighed as I calmed down.

"I fucking love you back," she responded.

"But why am I not good enough for him? He said that he felt like we were stuck in a routine and that it wasn't fun anymore basically. But what I don't get is that he never brought it up before that he was bored. If he brought it up I could have changed or been more spontaneous or whatever," I ranted.

Rose grunted, "Stop it! There is nothing wrong with you! It's that asshole who has the problem, not you."

"Do you think that there could be someone else?" I gasped thinking about it.

"Who cares?" she screamed and I felt the metal under me vibrate with movement. Next thing I know my view of the bright cloudy sky was now an upside down aggravated teen girl with her blonde hair falling almost in my eyes. "You know what you need to do?" she continued. "Fuck it. You just need to say fuck it to anything that involves, makes you think about, or is Jasper Asshole Whitlock."

"You're right," I admitted as I rose back into the straddling position. "Fuck it!" I screamed and stood up on the bench. "Fuck him." I sighed and crouched back down to speak to Rose face to face. "I wasted 2 year of my life on that piece of shit. And what does he do? Dumps me out of nowhere with a piss poor excuse. But you know what I say?"

Rosalie smirked and stood up on the bench. "Fuck him," she spat.

"Fuck him," I shouted straightening up next to her.

The bell rang then, signaling lunch. "Thank fuck. I am starving. I could eat a damn horse," Rosalie sighed in relief.

We jumped off the bench and made our way from under the bleachers into the crowed cafeteria on the other side of campus. I opened the glass doors and the second I stepped foot into the building almost every set of eyes were on me. But keeping my head held high and just concentrating on walking in a straight line, we made our way to our usual table where Emmett was already seated.

Rosalie sat in the seat next to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Well I guess I don't have to worry about telling anyone," I sighed at them and sat down in my own ugly forest green plastic chair across the faux wood table from the two of them.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Emmett asked as he pushed half his sandwich to Rose. "Because I swear to God if I missed another make out session between you two I'm going to fucking cry."

Taking the sandwich Rose smiled, "Bella needed a quick trip to Monte Carlo." She took a bite and said, "And that only happened once during that game of spin the bottle at the reservation."

"But it was hot. Wasn't it Tink?" Emmet winked at me.

"Fuck off," I chuckled and took his unopened blue Gatorade. I unscrewed the cap and took a sip.

Emmett turned serious all of a sudden and said, "Bella. If you want me to, I can corner him in the locker room after gym and just . . . shave his fucking head. Or I can get a couple of my football boys together and we could just bea—"

"None of that will be necessary. I've decided to take a higher road. If he doesn't want to be with me anymore then fuck him," I interrupted his sentence.

"Alright. But what if he tries to talk to you?" Emmett said in a weird voice kind of looking over my shoulder.

"What are you talking a—" I stopped my sentence when I looked over my shoulder and saw Jasper (dickhead) approaching our table. I turned back around gripped the Gatorade bottle.

Rosalie leaned in to whisper to me, "Fuck him."

I nodded at her and finding my confidence stood up and turned to face him as he descended. "Jasper," I spoke without emotion in my voice.

"Isabella, I was hoping to be able to talk to you," Jasper pleaded.

You could hear a pin drop. It seems that everyone was trying to hear what we were saying. Nosy bastards. "Fuck you," I simply stated.

"I admit that last night wasn't exactly how I should have gone on about breaking up with you. And I'm sorry for that. But I'm not sorry for doing it," he explained. "We would have never gone the full distance. I'm just too much for you to handle I guess."

I shook my head and scoffed, "Fuck it." I grabbed the Gatorade from the table and poured it on top of his gold waves. There was a huge response around me as the bottle drained of fluid. There were gasps, laughter, shrieks, hollering, and oooooohhhhhhhssss from every direction. Jasper's gray eyes looked like they were about to explode as blue liquid quickly covered his body. "Hope that's enough for you to handle," I spat at him and took my victory walk out of the cafeteria issuing out some high fives.

That felt ah-fucking-mazing. There was a new adrenaline high combing through my body that was mixing with the nice buzz of the alcohol that was still over me. I was feeling pretty invincible. I mean giggles were bubbling out of my mouth and my feet were skipping and leaping around the hallway.

Turning the southeast corner onto my locker's hallway I slammed into a hard body. "Now Bella, if we continue with this method of meeting then I'm going to have to start wearing some sort of protective gear."

I chuckled, "What are you doing here Edward? I thought you didn't start till tomorrow." If I thought he looked hot in his running gear that doesn't compare to him in jeans and a long sleeve Henley. I wondered if his ass looks as amazing as his legs looked in jeans. His hair was in the same chaos as before but it worked for him.

"Oh I don't. I'm just looking for the bathroom. I was just taking a tour with my aunt, cousin, and apparently the cougar receptionist," he explained.

I gasped, "Mrs. Cope really? She always looked like a sweet old woman."

"Looks can fool you. Cause she was definitely giving me some moves."

I laughed, "Well the restrooms are down the next hallway to your left. And if there's a tampon machine in there than you've gone to far."

"Thanks Ms. GPS," he teased. I smiled and began to walk pass him. "Um hey Bella," he said as we both turned around, "Will you be on the trail this afternoon?"

"I was planning on it. I'm usually there around 4 or so if you'd like to join me."

"Sound great. Maybe I will learn why you are holding out on me," he joked grabbed Monte from my front pocket, "A little afternoon delight B?"

I shrugged, "It was more like morning delight. I've had a shit couple of days."

Edward opened Monte up and raised the flask between us, "Cheers to that." And took a long drink. After a small cough he closed the flask and put it back in my pocket, "I needed that. Now I can go back and fight off Mrs. Cope some more."

I raised my right hand to my eyebrow; "I salute you in your endeavor."

"Thank you solider," he chuckled and turned to walk away.

I bit my bottom lip. Oh yeah. His ass looked absolutely perfect in jeans.

AN:

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- Cynmonstrosity.