The Things Nick Banned Us to Do

Look back to the first chapter to know what the summary, disclaimer, notes, and warnings are.

And here's candidate number three! Hope you like this one. *smirks*

Avenger 3 - Tony Stark

1. We all saw this one coming. Tony's definitely not allowed to have anything pointy around Bruce so he can turn into the Hulk.

The science duo was in the lab, coming up with a new system for the Helicarrier crew to use. Well, more so Bruce was doing so. He was looking through the many codes on one of the screens, Tony sitting on a stool eating blueberries.

He looked so lost in thought, too, like he was mauling up some plan.

"Hey, Tony. Can you pass me that folder there?", Bruce asked, pointing at a folder next to the billionaire. Tony jumped off his stool, grabbing the folder and something else. He went to Bruce's side, handing him the folder.

"Here you go."

"Thank y- ow! Anthony!"

Bruce turned to other, holding his side. He glared at the slightly taller. "Don't tell me."

"I'm just really... I don't know."

Nick walked into the lab, ready to throw the first thing his eye landed at Tony's head.

2. He's definitely not allowed to use any other method to turn Bruce into the Hulk.

Bruce and Tony was heading to the coffee shop, Clint accompanying them. The archer was watching them silently, forming many ideas... and songs... in his head. The trio entered the coffee shop once it was spotted. Bruce immediately went to the counter, already with the team's requests in his head and ready to give them.

Tony and Clint stood by one of the walls, looking at the various artworks. "I'mma do it."

Clint turned to the philanthropist with wide eyes. "Tony, don't. You know it's just going to end badly."

The brunet just smirked. "I'mma do it anyways." Clint face palmed himself. "Even I know that's stupid! And I'm me! You have no regard to mankind, do you?", he questioned, pointing an accusing finger at the other. Tony just waved a hand at him. "Eh. Going to do it."

He walked away, heading to Bruce. The slightly shorter brunet turned when he noticed his presence. "Oh, Tony! The coffee and- mmmphf!"

Bruce was not expecting the sudden kiss. Nor did anyone else. Everyone had stopped what they were doing, looking at the science duo kiss. Tony snaked his arms around Bruce's waist, applying pressure to his lips. Bruce had become lost, and fell into the kiss. His arms slowly went around Tony's neck, closing his eyes and pulling Tony closer.

The kiss lasted for a few minutes before Tony decided to break it off. He looked at Bruce to see him blushing madly with his head down. "T-Tony! No right!"

"Sorry. Just seeing if I could make him come out." He looked over to see one of the employees standing there with their orders, a nosebleed forming on his face. He just handed the billionaire the orders, the brunet handing him the money. "Thanks. Have a nice day, young man. Come on, Clint!" The archer began to follow, but stopped at the counter to look at the other male.

"It happens a lot. Have a nice day."

3. Tony can't have a spray bottle or a water gun around Steve and Thor.

Thanks to the anger of a thunder god, Tony had found himself standing in front of a shelf of laptops in the electronic section of the store with the golden couple standing behind him, the god just looking about while Steve thought about which laptop he wanted. He wanted one that was simple, but with Tony, that wasn't going to happen.

"I can't believe it, Thor. What made you pick up Mjolnir and smash my laptop in pieces?"

"I apologize greatly, Man of Iron. I let my anger get the best of me."

"Because we had no more Pop Tarts."

"They're quite the snack."

Tony just sighed. Grabbing two laptops and purchasing them, the trio made their way over to the frozen section for some ice cream for Natasha. While the brunet decided which ice cream, behind him the blonde couple decided to become exhibitionists. It started off as a chaste kiss from Thor, putting his arms around Steve's waist while the soldier looked at the different frozen yogurts. But not even two seconds later, the god had his chosen pinned against the cold door. Tony wasn't paying attention to it until he heard a loud moan. He didn't turn, but instead he pulled out a hidden water gun and shot at the two.

Thor quickly pulled out with a growl while Steve let out whimpers. Both glared at the back of Tony's head. "Anthony..."

"Next time don't try to get golden godly soldier sperm on the yogurt!"

4. He can't use it on anyone else either.

It wasn't hot nor did Bruce and Natasha feel as if it was. So what possessed Tony to do it was beyond them. Both the redhead and doctor were in the kitchen, fixing lunch for everyone since it was it was their day-off. Both were wearing white tees, Natasha in jean capris and Bruce wearing jeans.

It was weird, but neh.

Natasha was flipping the burgers while Bruce was cutting up lettuce. They were so focused on their tasks they never noticed Tony walking in. He smirked as a rather stupid suicidal plan formulated. He walked out the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with a spray bottle in his hands. He spritzed out the cold water, scaring Bruce and Natasha. "Tony! You son of a bitch! Why?!", the redhead questioned.

Tony shrugged. "Just wanted to see you wear a wet white tee. You know like in the music videos and stuff."

A raw burger met his face.

5. He's not allowed to tempt Rhodey into fighting him for a 'rematch'.

'Another day on the Helicarrier. Wonder what antics await this time.'

Nick rubbed his forehead with his fingers, knowing somewhere on the Helicarrier that something was going on. Something always happened. "Um… sir?" He looked over his shoulder to see Maria with a frown on her face. "Let me guess, something bad is happening, am I right?"

"Definitely, sir. Appears that Agent Stark and Agent Rhodes are engaged in a battle."

On cue, two metal suits came blasting through the wall. One red and gold, the other silver.

"You're going to take that back, Tony!", Rhodes growled, firing at the other. Tony ducked, resulting the blast to hit the computers. With a sigh, Fury just pulled out his gun.

Classic, Tony. Very classic. Review!