Dear Diary

Pairing: Thiefshipping, mentions of Chaseshipping, Deathshipping and maybe Puppyshipping

Warnings: language, shonen-ai

Disclaimer: I own Yugioh! … not

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07.09.10

Dear diary (I'll have to think of something else…),

Today I actually got to talk to Malik. Talk for real I mean and not that 'Hello, how are you?' 'I'm fine and self?' 'I'm fine too. Bye.' stuff. No it was an actual get-to-know-each-other talk. But let's just begin at the beginning:

I woke up alone today. Neither the alarm nor Ryou had to help, which was a wonder in itself, but I also wasn't grumpy! I think I actually scared my brother to death with my smile. His eyes widened in disbelief and mouth hung agape.

"Close your mouth or the flies'll have a party in there." I commented casually as I saw this.

He immediately did as told and sat down on one of our kitchen chairs. He'd prepared ham and eggs for today (yes, I know we live in Japan, but Ryou and I like to remain true to our British routs).

Yes we come from Britain and moved to Domino when we were 6 because of father's work. And if mum'd been alive we'd most likely live in Egypt now. Dad'd have taken us with him. Somehow I'm glad I can stay here. And Ryou too. He would've lost too many good friends.

After breakfast we headed for school, this time not having to rush at all, which was a nice change. I could see how Ryou enjoyed walking normally at this ungodly time in the morning (okay it wasn't that ungodly, it was 7:30).

"Hey Touzokus!" we suddenly heard a voice calling and as I turned around I saw Mariku running towards us, Malik trailing behind.

"Ishtars…" I greeted them as they reached us.

"Good morning Mariku-kun, Malik-kun." Ryou said, a happy smile on his face.

Malik remained silent as ever.

"So how are you guys?" Mariku asked, trademark smirk in place.

"So far so good." I stated.

One never knows what will happen so I never said everything was perfect. It would be a lie.

"And how are you?" Ryou, polite as ever, asked.

"Except for that uniform everything's just wonderful! I mean, how can a sane person wear such stuff?"

It was then that I realized that the Egyptian brothers wore their school uniforms. They looked different in them. More normal… and that should have been a good thing, but somehow it wasn't. I liked their extraordinarity. It made them interesting, and what's better for a bored teenager like me than someone interesting?

"You look good in those." Ryou smiled.

"Naw you don't. We all look stupid in this blue crap from hell and we all know it. Ryou's just too polite to admit it." I smirked, earning me a warning glare from my brother and a snicker from Mariku.

"You're right bean pole! We should sue those monsters who made us wear that!" he exclaimed.

"Well, I've heard there's even worse…", I whispered, "In Touou High it is said they wear brown suits and bright red ties!"

At that Mariku gasped.

"God I'd look horrible in those! I would look like a looney who runs around in nothing but a tie!"

"Heh, you should've seen Ryou and I at our cousin's wedding! We had to wear white suits… and pose in front of a white wall for the pictures! You can barely see us on them!"

And that was no lie. It actually happened and if it weren't for Ryou I would have already burned those horrible photos.

"Oy, you have to show me those!" Mariku said.

"Maybe one day I will…" I winked at the taller Egyptian and then ran into our classroom, seeing as we had already reached school.

Mariku and I kept up the nonsense until class started. We would have talked during the lesson as well, but we had Math with Mogi-sensei and he could be really scary when angry, so we didn't dare do anything.

After the two hour torture of Math was over, I decided it was time to get to know Malik better. I went to his desk and greeted him casually. He looked up from what he was doing and our eyes met and that intense feeling I had yesterday was back. 'What do you want?' those expressive orbs seemed to ask.

"Sooooo, what were you doing before I disturbed you?" I asked, wanting the awkward silence to end.

He moved his hands from the paper in front of him and I saw a picture. Of a small kid, about 5-10 years of age, holding a chick in his hands. What stunned me the most though, was the great resemblance the drawing had to Mariku (and Malik as well, only that his hair was too spiky to be him).

The child looked unsure of what to do with the small animal he held and a strange kind of sadness could be seen on his features as well…

"Why is Mariku sad?" I asked.

"You don't question the fact that he's a small child?"

"Well, Mariku does act like a small child most of the time. But why would he be sad? Is the chick going to die?"

"He doesn't know… He likes the chick, but doesn't know if he's strong enough to keep it alive. If he can bring it up. And that makes him sad. He can't give it the security it would need."

"At least it's not alone…" I whispered.

The chick somehow reminded me of my brother and I. We had nobody but each other, our father being far away in Egypt. And nobody knew we were alone. At least the chick had Mariku…

A small smile formed on Maliks face.

"Yeah… at least it's not alone." he repeated my words.

Another awkward silence.

"I like your drawing. You're good." I said.

"Thanks…" came his whispered reply.

"You have any other hobbies?" I asked.

"I like riding my motorcycle. It makes me feel free and at ease with the world. And I like reading." Malik answered, beaming at the thought of those activities.

"Awesome. Would you mind taking me on a ride some time?"

I had always wanted to try riding a motorcycle, I had just never had enough money to buy, or even lend, myself one. Not to say that I didn't have the guts…

"Sure. And what are your hobbies? Other than stalking I mean…" Malik asked, smirking in a way similar to his brother.

"Well, I like watching horror movies, drinking tea and writing."

"Writing? What do you write?"

Now that question had to come… I wasn't sure if I should tell him, but as he had shown me his picture he deserved to know the truth.

"My diary…"

"Really? I never took you for the type to do that!"

That look of wonder on his face looked so cute I nearly blushed. But I didn't. I managed to force my blood back down, which was a great feat. I'm glad I took drama lessons last year…

"Neither did I.", I admitted, "But then Ryou bought me that diary and because I couldn't just have him waste money on me I thought I might as well write in it. It's actually quite useful to recall the day and think about everything again…"

Malik opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly my mobile went off. The caller ID read 'Dad'…

I really didn't want to answer that call and keep talking to Malik, but father never called unless it was important, so I pressed the green phone and held the device to my ear.

"Yes? What is it dad?"

"I'm sorry, but I am not your father.", a stranger's voice answered, "I am one of his co-workers… I… Your father had an accident. While he was inspecting one of the ancient tombs a rock came down from the ceiling and buried him. He was dead immediately …"

I didn't hear the rest of his speech as my mobile dropped from my hand and crashed to the floor, breaking into pieces. A strange feeling of emptiness spread through my whole body, time seemed to stop. Alone…

"…ra! Bakura! What's wrong?" I suddenly heard Maliks voice through the mist clouding my senses.

"Where's Ryou…"

My voice was shaky and quiet, something it usually never was. And it was frightening me. As well as the fact that my brother and I now truly are alone. At least dad had sent us money every month, but now we have no income anymore. I'll have to start working.

Maliks hand softly touching my shoulder brought me out of my depressing thoughts and as I looked up I saw Ryou, Mariku and Jonouchi standing next to him.

"It's better when you let Ryou and I talk alone…" I mumbled.

"It's okay. Whatever it is, they can hear it too." Ryou said smiling at me.

If only he knew. He wouldn't stand there smiling like an idiot. He would send them away. As far as possible. But if this was his wish then so be it.

"I just got a call… one of dad's coworkers… he said… dad got hit by a rock… dead…"

My brother's expression immediately changed from happiness to sorrow, tears already beginning to fall from his eyes. Mariku gasped and put an arm around him to comfort him. Something I would have never expected from the tall Egyptian, but I don't know him for that a long time so I'm sure I have much more to find out about him and his brother.

Said brother's hand tightened its grip on my shoulder and his body tensed. I turned to look at him and saw he shook, his eyes shut and breathing uneven. I wanted to hug him then and there.

"God, I'm so sorry guys… So soon after that accident…" Jounouchi whispered, referring to our mother and Amane's death.

"What accident?" Mariku asked, seemingly unaware of his brother's state.

Jou didn't answer. It was an unspoken rule not to talk about what happened that day. So much was lost when IT happened… I think I'll keep referring to it by IT or the accident. I don't feel like writing about IT just yet. Maybe later…

When Malik suddenly let out a quiet sob, I decided I couldn't take it anymore and hugged him. And as our bodies touched and his tears wet my school uniform, I couldn't stop myself from crying anymore. I let go. Just like that. My reputation as bad boy didn't matter. Not with Malik there in my arms. Not with Ryou looking as if his life had just ended. And in some way it had.

There was nothing to look forward to. No such a thing as hope for two orphan boys. In the worst scenario we would have to change not only school, but also city. The orphanage in Domino was small and most of the time full. Many stupid girls got themselves knocked up and then just gave their kids away after their birth.

"What do we do now?" I hear Ryous voice ask shakily after some time.

"I don't know…" I answered truthfully between sobs.

"I'd so like to help you, but my foster father's an ass…" Jou said with a pained tone in his voice.

"I'll just have to find myself a job I guess…" I muttered, my tears finally having stopped.

Future doesn't look good. Who would employ a 16 year old brat who hasn't even finished school? I have no qualifications. No particular strengths. I have no idea where I should start!

"What's about your mother? Can't she work?" Mariku asked.

Wrong question. Ryou, who had finally stopped sobbing, began to cry again. I shook my head, not being able to voice the truth. Strange how much easier it is to talk about my father's death than about my mother and sister's… I never particularly liked him, but Ryou needed him. And we both needed his money. Call me heartless, but it's the truth.

Tears stained my cheeks.

It was silent.

The bell indicating the next lesson began rang.

We all went to our respective seats. Takada-sensei burst into the room. We opened our books on page 15. We copied notes from the blackboard. We were silent. Too silent. Not one student said so much as 1 word. Not one pencil was dropped. The clock ticked. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick… tock…

Takada-sensei didn't realize.

The bell rang.

We stayed silent.

The bell rang again.

Makoto-sensei entered. Her black hair swayed behind her. Her black dress accented her pale skin.

She stood in front of us and stared.

We stared back.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick… tock…

Worry was clearly written across her face.

'What's wrong?' her eyes seemed to ask.

She didn't break the silence.

Tears began to fall again, silently making their way down hot cheeks.

"It's been exactly three years, nine months and five days…" Anzu whispered.

Makoto-sensei understood. We had remembered the unspoken. Someone had mentioned it and now the pain was back.

Her hands wrung together and she tried to compose herself.

"Let's just think for a while then…" she muttered, more to herself than us.

Silence again.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick… tock…

"We should all come back now…" our teacher said after some time.

Then she began talking about electricity and atoms. Life came back into our bodies and the day continued as if nothing had happened. But we all knew something had changed. We had finally let it sink in. The fact that something horrible happened three years ago. An accident. And we had all caused it.

Mariku never asked about it again. He was curious, I could see it in the way he would look at us at lunch time. But he also seemed to be anxious. As if he was afraid to cause a silence like that again.

When school was finally over, Malik asked me if I still wanted a ride on his bike, which of course I did. He smiled, motioned for me to follow him and began walking. We were silent for some time, before I couldn't take it anymore.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Home. My bike's there." he answered, obviously not in the mood for a little chat.

"Okay…"

I settled for looking at him. His bronzed skin glowed beautifully in the sun and his hair looked like liquid gold. A light breeze played with the soft strands, making him look ethereal. His exotic eyes seemed to shine brightly like expensive gems as he stared ahead, seemingly deep in thought.

I wanted to touch his full rosy lips. To kiss those soft petals. I don't know why or how, but in that very moment my feelings seemed to change. Becoming more intense. It can't be love though. Love at first sight doesn't exist after all. Though it would explain that strange attraction that was too strong for simply like liking.

After some time we finally reached his home. He immediately led me to the garage, dropping his school bag next to his red motorcycle. Malik lovingly gazed at the vehicle before hopping onto the saddle. Putting on the helmet that hung from the handle bar he indicated for me to take the helmet that sat on a wooden table next to a door, which I figured led to the house. I took mentioned safety precaution, put it on and hopped onto the motorcycle behind him.

"You ready?" he asked, a small smile playing at his lips.

I nodded and wound my arms around his body. Seeing this he started the engine and then we were on the road. Suddenly I was free. Flying. The landscape flew past in a ridiculous speed, but I trusted the Egyptian boy. I knew he would be careful. Somehow. It was strange how close I feel to him after simply two days. It's as if I've known him forever.

Suddenly it dawned on me how close our bodies were and a wave of heat flooded me. My heartbeat increased and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. His button down had ridden up a bit and as I moved my hands to adjust, they came in contact with his bare skin. I tingled all over and images flooded my head. Images I'd rather not describe.

Without a warning he halted the vehicle and took his helmet off. When he turned around I realized a cute blush colouring his tan cheeks, his lips were slightly parted and moist. Once again I had the sudden urge to kiss him. But I managed to fight it.

"I discovered this place on the second day after I came here. I like to come here and think…" he said and I realized we were outside Domino City.

Malik had stopped next to a small hut in the middle of the wood on the east side of Domino. The only wood in this area. I hadn't realized he drove off the street onto the path leading to this place… The trees surrounding the wooden house gave the scenery a fairytale like feeling and the setting sun made it even more beautiful. Birds sung their songs of love and crickets chirped. I already liked to be here.

"What about the owner?" I asked.

I mean, no hut just stands around, ownerless and inviting for everybody…

"I already talked to him. He says it's okay if I use it once in a while if I keep it clean. He's hardly ever here and it would be sad to just let a beautiful hut like this rot away." Malik answered and then produced a key chain from his pocket.

He walked over to the door, unlocked it and went inside. I followed him and was greeted by a cozy little room with a fireplace and a big wooden table in the middle. The wooden walls were of a dark brown colour as well as the floor. There seemed to be no electricity, for I couldn't see any electric appliance (not even a dishwasher or electrical cooker).

There weren't any paintings or other decorative items on the walls or anywhere else, only a small vase with yellow flowers inside adorned the table. Four stools stood around said table and not far from it was a small kitchenette (without an oven or anything…).

Malik opened one of the two doors that led from this kitchen/living room and I followed him as he went into the room beyond. It was a bedroom. The walls and floor were the same as those in the previous room. It wasn't as big as the kitchen/living room, but it didn't need to be. A small bed took nearly the entire space and next to it was a small bedside table, above which was a big window which let the sun in. And that was about all in here.

Malik sat down on the dark red bed sheets and motioned for me to take the place next to him. I gladly took the offer and smiled at him. His lilac eyes gazed into mine and once again that magical connection was there. I longed to hug him, to feel his warmth. What was wrong with me? Why did I want to be so close to him? Why couldn't I stop looking at him?

Our hands touched, the contact sending a shockwave of emotion through my body. Our fingers intertwined and my breath caught in my chest. Our faces inched closer, his sweet breath already tickling my skin. I couldn't stand this anymore! The close proximity caused my rational thoughts to disappear, leaving only raw desire. Giving in to my urges I closed the gap and our lips connected in a chaste kiss.

I felt like I was in heaven. My heart danced in my chest, the butterflies having a party in my stomach. His wonderful smell engulfed my senses and I felt like I could do everything. I was the king of this world for one moment. And Malik was my treasure. A seldom and beautiful gem I didn't want to lose.

Don't want to lose. I can still feel his lips on mine. Soft. Moist. Addicting. Like a dream come true.

And the best thing was, that he didn't pull away. That he kissed me back. I wanted to stay like this. Forever. Our lips locked, moving against each other. My hands on his back and his around my neck. Our knees just touching.

But eventually I pulled away and opened my eyes, which I hadn't realized I closed. The sight that met me was simply breathtaking. Malik sat in front of me, his eyes closed, long lashes touching his blushed cheeks. The boy's lips were slightly parted and glistened wetly, inviting. I wanted to kiss him again.

Slowly his lids opened and a smile made its way onto his face, the blush deepening as his eyes locked with mine.

"You want to stay here overnight?" he asked.

"Yes, I do…" I accepted his offer.

"Okay, I'll call Mariku then… and Ryou. Your mobile's broken after all… Just give me his number."

I did as I was told and he phoned his and my brothers, telling them they shouldn't worry about us, we would just stay in the wood to be away from Domino for once. To forget all our worries.

Then he directed his attention back at me.

"About that kiss… was it just some game so you can forget the pain of losing your father?" asked the Egyptian, pain tainting his beautiful orbs.

"Of course not!", I exclaimed, "I would never do such a thing! And I don't care that much about my dad… I just hate to see Ryou sad and knowing he won't come back makes him sad."

"And why did you kiss me then?"

That question stunned me.

"I don't know…", I answered truthfully, "I just had this feeling… and it felt so right to do it! God damnit I hate to be all mushy! I'm not the kind of person to fall for someone at first sight!"

Hearing that last sentence he gasped, shock apparent on his face. And his blush was back, darker than I had ever seen it before.

"I… You… You saying that…" he stammered.

I silenced him by kissing him for the second time, this time harder and more passionate. And he responded equally enthusiastic, gripping my collar drawing me closer. My hands found his shoulders, my fingers massaging his shoulder blades. At my ministrations a small gasp escaped his lips and I used that opportunity to slip my tongue inside his mouth, where our wet muscles met, stroking at each other.

I explored his moist cavern, tasting him. Loving it. Him. Every second of this. Eventually we had to break apart for air. Gasping, he looked at me, a strange emotion in his beautiful eyes. Something warm and tender.

"You… gasp… hungry?" he asked.

I nodded, realizing that I was indeed very hungry. He stood up and went into the first room again and after some time came back with two plates with a sandwich on each. We began eating. It was good. Ham and salad and different vegetables. He had the same only without the ham.

After we'd finished our food he carried the plates out and I began writing in my diary, of which I had started a habit of carrying around with me.

He's come back a few minutes ago and is watching me write. I can see that he wants to know what I write. And that he wants to touch me, but he's too shy. I would do him the favour of initiating things, but I'm too shy as well.

"We should go to sleep now… it's late." he suddenly says, and looking out of the window I see he's right.

It's already dark outside and the only thing illuminating this room is my torch which is standing on the bedside table. I guess I'll go to sleep then. Next to him. I'm already looking forward to it.

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Word count: 4,006

(1) Sorry couldn't resist that Death Note referrence :D Oh and I don't own Death Note :P

Hope you liked! Next chapter will be up in aproximately 2 weeks :) Cookies and coke for everyone~

See ya,

~Todesan~