Technically, I should be updating on Friday, since I plan to update once a week. Don't think I mentioned that before, and the Christmas chapter was a bonus. For the record, updates will be weekly, usually Saturday!
That's actually the real reason I posted this chapter, to alert you of that. Also because this has easily skyrocketed to one of my most popular stories yet. (WOW MUCH? Thanks a million!)
Hope you've been having a great break, if you have a break. I have, and it's been very nice, thank you so kindly for asking. Thank you so kindly for reading, too.
Speaking of reading, who cares about the bolded text? Read on!
The ride to Crackariko Village wasn't all fun and games, as Link soon realized. After driving for hours on end hunched over a motorcycle he was saddle-sore and sun-sick and wanted nothing more than to drive straight into a lake. Hyrule Field, a motley of tent camps and yellowed grass, was far brighter than Hyrule Castle Town, and he was constantly squinting in the glaring light. His skin stung from the harsh light, and the thick fabrics of his clothes that had been perfectly suited for the city were sweaty and abrasive now. When a small building rose on the horizon he was perfectly happy to stop, and thankfully Zelda was too.
When Epona ground to a halt in front of the building Link glanced up at the sign, shielding his eyes from the sun.
"Lon Lon Auto Dealership. Think they'll have gas?"
Zelda shrugged, and Link noticed her nose was peeling. "Probably the only place out here that would."
The auto dealership was surrounded by a stone wall, and as steep ramp led up to store. Link could see a few beat-up pickups with worn for-sale signs on the windshields and raised his eyebrows.
"Classy place."
"Look who's being picky. Come on, let's get out of the sun."
Link glanced back at Epona. "Should I just leave her here?"
"Where do you think she's going to go?"
"Fair point."
After their short trek up the ramp to the shop Link could appreciate how dilapidated the shop was – it probably hadn't had a customer in years. Three auburn-painted trucks squatted on flat tires, sporting speckled windshields, but the hoods were raised and Link peeked inside to see gleaming engine parts and what looked like lots of complicated modifications. A sign hung in the front window of the store:
Lon Lon Auto Dealership
No Moblins/Bokoblins/Suitors
Credit Not Accepted – Rupees Only!
"Promising." Link noted, and opened the door.
The inside of the shop was even more disheveled than the outside. It seemed to be an old barn converted for commercial use, complete with loft and ladder. It even smelled like animal waste. Behind the counter sat a bored-looking girl with brilliant red hair and a long white dress, which couldn't have been comfortable in the heat, picking at her nails. When Link and Zelda entered she didn't even look up.
"Welcome to Lon Lon Auto Dealership. How may I help you?" She droned, and Link took the opportunity to check out the inventory. A small blue pot sat on top of one shelf, and a slingshot sat beside it, coated in dust. Next to it there was a wallet with a gaping hole in the bottom, a bundle of carrots, and a few spare auto parts, cracked or otherwise unusable.
"Promising." Zelda whispered.
"Um... Hey. You have any gas?" Link asked, a little too loudly, and the girl looked up from her nails.
"Gas? What do you need gas for?" The girl smiled, and there was a devilish gleam in her eye that made Link wary.
What does she think we're going to do with gas, drink it? "We need fuel for our ride."
The girl shot out of her seat, ignoring Link's sarcasm. Her eyes were wide and she clutched the edge of the desk so tightly her fingers turned white.
"You have a ride?" She whispered.
"Funny you ask, we walked all the way here. I was obviously lying about my ride a second ago."
Zelda shot Link a be cool look and cleared her throat. "Yes we do, Miss... Um..."
"Malon." The girl said, grinning from ear to ear. "Nayru, it's been a long time since I've ridden."
"Strong words." Link commented.
Malon flinched. "Just don't tell my Pop, okay? He hates it when I swear."
Link loosed his wallet from his belt. "And how much will it be for gas?"
The girl flipped her red hair over her shoulder. "For you, no charge."
Zelda was about to speak when Link interrupted her. "What's the catch?"
Eyes narrowing, Malon's grin widened even more. "You'll have to race me for it."
Minutes later they were outside of the ranch. Malon had tied her hair back and was gunning the engine of the most rickety and beaten-up pickup truck Link had ever seen. It had probably seen the rise of city in the skies, it was so old. When Malon first turned the key the exhaust spat out a cloud of fumes that looked suspiciously like monster vapors.
Link leaned on the trembling hood. "What does she run on?"
"Gasoline and Hylia knows what else. I add some crushed monster claws for a little extra kick."
The engine conveniently backfired and Zelda scrambled back, eyes wide.
"What, you never seen a car before? She may look like hell but she is as fast as hell. What's your ride, elf squirt?"
"I'm glad you asked." Link smirked and ran back to where Epona was parked. Taking a moment to rev the engine, he roared up the ramp to where Malon waited, spun the motorcycle in a donut and kicked his foot down to stop his momentum. Both of the girls' jaws had dropped and he looked pointedly at Malon.
"Ready to ride, ranch girl?"
She gripped the steering wheel and the engine gave another rasping whine. "On my mark."
Link had raced before, and was prepared when Malon shouted "Go!" a second later. Zelda had to leap out of the way to avoid being crushed by Epona's tires.
The track would be simple – three circuits around the paddock inside the ranch. Link easily sped ahead and leaned towards the fence to hug the curve, and Malon roared behind him, the front bumper of her truck nearly touching Epona's license plate. He was at a disadvantage there – if Malon happened to hit him from the back or sides he would be powerless to stop the motorcycle from flipping over and killing him. He was faster, though, and Malon's old truck would hopefully burst its radiator before the race was over. But Link learned quickly that Malon didn't want to play fair.
First it was a gentle nudge from behind that nearly sent him over the handlebars on the starting lap, and he lost precious seconds collecting himself when Malon pulled ahead. The back of her truck was full of boards and loose objects that flew at him whenever the truck hit a bump, and he had to use one arm to shield himself from the debris. The boards were stacked so that they leaned against the top of the truck like a ramp, and Link knew one good jostle could knock them out of the back.
Gritting his teeth, Link punched the throttle and Epona roared forward; soon he was neck and neck with Malon around the curve. Luckily the truck wasn't as agile turning and Link pulled ahead again, bent low over the handlebars. Malon's rattling truck never lost ground, though, and she let out a yell and they were side by side again. She began to pull in closer to his flank, and he glanced quickly to his left. The fence surrounding the paddock was only a foot away from him, and if he even grazed it at this speed he would lose control of Epona and crash. Still Malon drove closer, though. Link stared at her as they sped down the straightaway, and her eyes glittered with an excitement and competitive urge that Link had seen in the best fighters in the ring. She wanted to win.
On the next curve Link couldn't lean in because Malon was so close, but he pushed the motorcycle faster and sped in front of Malon again. The girl wasted no time, however, and Link heard the her engine give a hacking sound before she rammed her fender into Epona with a crunching sound.
Link yelled in surprise and swerved Epona away from Malon, letting her pull ahead again. He was preparing to speed up again when Malon began to approach him again from the side, grazing his left leg, barely an inch from the tires.
"Having fun?" Malon shouted over the engines and Link yanked his wrist back, forcing Epona to go even faster. He rocketed in front of the truck and hugged the next curve, ready for the last lap.
Somehow, somehow, Malon got her rust-bucket of a truck to pull up right behind him, and he pulled to the side so she couldn't ram him. She tried to get ahead, but Link pulled Epona back in front, weaving in and out so Malon couldn't get a clear shot of him. Another curve was fast approaching, though, second-to-last before the race would be over. He leaned into the curve so much his knee ground into the rocky dirt of the track, and he winced. If it meant he won this race it would be worth it.
The shove sent him careening dangerously close to the fence, and Malon was ahead again. The ramp of her truck's back storage area had come undone and was dragging along the ground. Link could see that the boards were fixed in place by a small lip that connected the ramp to the truck, and a crazy idea formed in his head. You are an idiot. This is going to be amazing.
He let Malon take the last curve in the lead and then pushed Epona forward with the last of her speed, an inch from Malon's truck ramp, and then up Malon's truck ramp, and up the boards, which surprisingly held him, over the top of the truck, and leaped over Malon's windshield and engine in front of her, driving over the white chalk finish line.
He turned in to where Zelda was standing, hands over her mouth, and Malon stopped the truck so sharply the back end reared a foot off of the ground. When she exited the truck her hair was frizzy and wild, and her eyes were furious.
"Cheater! You cheated!"
Link limped over to her and held out his hand. "So is purposefully nudging me. Gas, please?"
Malon's face turned as red as her hair and she spluttered with rage, but finally conceded and led Link and Zelda back to the shop, where she pulled a full can of gas from behind the counter. She didn't even flinch when Zelda put in in her pouch and it disappeared.
"Thanks for the race!" Link called back to her as they walked out of the door.
"That... Was crazy." Zelda admitted as they walked back to Epona.
"Crazy awesome?"
"Crazy freaking amazing!"
Link grinned. "Glad to see you approve, princess."
Once Epona had a full tank of gas they sped off in the direction of Crackariko Village. After the race they seemed to crawl along, but Link didn't care. In only an hour the excitement of the race had passed and they were driving along again, tired and sore. He elected for a break by a large hill, and Zelda agreed.
They sat for a while, talking about Zelda's plan to find the Hero.
"It came about rather suddenly. I had been doing some reading about the legends in the library, and whenever the realm was in danger a Hero would always come. So I figured, what if I found this Hero, and he helped me save Hyrule?"
"What do you mean, 'save Hyrule?' How are you going to do it?"
"That's the thing – I don't really know. I don't know who the Hero is, either."
"So are we at square one?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"How do you even find a Hero? Let out a few damsels in distress as bait?"
"Has anyone told you that you're an idiot?"
"Actually, you'd be the first. Most just run away in fear."
Crackariko Village was still a good distance away, so they rode for a few more hours until the sun began to set.
"Ready to set up camp?"
Zelda glanced at him. "Camp? Aren't we going to the city?"
"Not at night, unless you want to kiss your precious belongings goodbye." Link hopped off of Epona and sat down on the grass.
"What do you mean?" Zelda joined him, staring at the sunset.
"Raiders. Gerudo, Bokoblin or otherwise. Gangstadorf sends them off to do his dirty work, too. Rumor has it they kidnap kids and ride around with them tied to sticks, waiting for a challenger. No one ever comes, though, so most of the kids end up as slaves."
Zelda shuddered. "That's sick."
"That's life, princess. Welcome to Hyrule."
Turning to face him, Zelda narrowed her eyes. "How did you even get Epona, anyways?"
Link laughed. "It's a great story, actually. So one day I was in a fight, minding my own business, when the Zora I'm fighting gets his flippers in a twist because I beat him. And I say, 'Easy, bro. All's fair in love and cheap arena fighting.' But it turns out this Zora has a gang of buddies who are equally bloodthirsty, and I figure it's time for me to get out of there.
"I'm outside, looking for something I can get home on, fast, and there she was, Epona. Some fat Hylian had her keys dangling out of his pocket, and it was easy work from there. I had her repainted later, to avoid suspicion, but no one ever really came looking for her. Guess they saw me driving into the slums and just kissed her goodbye."
"And the Zora?" Zelda asked.
"They learned never to mess with me again. Besides, they're too busy fighting the Gorons, they don't care about one skinny kid beating them up in a fight."
Zelda was silent for a moment, turning her pouch over in her hands. "I never thought Hyrule would be like this."
"Do you really think one guy can fix it?"
Zelda met his eyes, and when she spoke her tone was sincere. "Yes, I do. I know he can."
This week's reviews/favorites/alerts go to the NAHMAC (National Association for Hylian Motorcycles Auto Racing) to see if we can get Link into their next race. At any rate, I'm sure Malon will get into NASCAR no problem. Who knew, right?
It's an update, and you know what that means - tell me what you think so far! What do you think will happen in Crackariko Village? Any boss fights you're anticipating? Any spelling mistakes (I'm serious about this, anything to hear from you)?
For those of you who reviewed already, THANK YOU! Your support means so much to me! Stay awesome.
I think that's all for today. Until next time, dear reader!
Next time being: probably next Saturday. See you then!