AN: Sorry, looooong delay there. Haven't had a lot of time to write with school and all, but I've got chapter 4 started, so hopefully at least it won't be a year before that's up. Suggestions are welcome; can't promise I'll use them but I'd like to hear them all the same.
Nanao side-stepped as Shunsui reached a hand toward her head. She quickened her stride, walking stiffly and glaring daggers at any of the higher ranking members of the Gotei 13 who dared to snicker at the all-too common scene of a bemused Captain Kyouraku strolling along behind a fuming Vice Captain Ise.
"Leave me alone, Taicho," Nanao complained, "you're making people stare."
Shunsui chuckled heartily. "I think it's you that's making people stare, Nanao-chan. So lovely... and so scandalously tousled."
Nanao was walking in front of him, but she knew instinctively that he was grinning suggestively. She instantly reached a hand up to smooth her hair, realizing with exasperation that her captain had been reaching to tidy it for her. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, however; she figured falling asleep in his lap was quite enough of that to fuel his advances and her shame for a few more lifetimes.
"Of course they're staring at me and not your garish haori, Taicho," Nanao hissed in a rare burst of sarcasm.
"Yare, yare, Nanao-chan, that was low," Shunsui responded. "Almost as low as Juu and Retsu scheming to get us together."
Nanao spun around so fast that Shunsui nearly bowled her over, and as he grabbed her arm to steady her, Nanao heard a whistle or two from some daring shinigami. She was too focused on Kyouraku's comment to pay them any mind, however.
"What do you mean, scheming?"
"I mean, Juu pretending to be really sick and Retsu-chan pretending to be too busy to care, just to get us together in his hospital room. The last time Retsu-chan tried to lead training exercises when Juu was ill, she lost control of a healing spell and erased every scar any of her squad members ever had."
Nanao stared at him, trying to decide whether to be furious or skeptical. "It's not like Ukitake-taicho or Unohana-taicho to plot devious romantic scenarios," she said cautiously. "That's more your department, if I recall."
Shunsui laughed, the deep rumble resonating along Nanao's arm, which she yanked free of his grasp. "Clearly, you were too young to notice their work with Kaien-kun and Miyako-chan," he informed her.
Nanao stood for a few moments without replying. She had heard a rumor that the couple had fallen in love over the course of a mysterious illness that kept them both in the same wing of the infirmary for a month. It had apparently been an interesting time for the 13th Division considering Ukitake also spent a good portion of that month in the infirmary, supposedly having an unusually bad episode.
"Good grief," she finally spat. "As if it wasn't bad enough when it was just you trying to get me into your bed!"
"Or park bench, or rooftop, or sakura grove... or desk," Shunsui replied with a cheery salaciousness that was downright disturbing. Nanao shot him a withering glance. "Of course, they were sort of moving in on my territory," he added. "We might have to get back at them."
An inquisitive eyebrow arched over one lens of Nanao's glasses. "What did you have in mind?" she asked hesitantly.
"Fighting fire with fire, my lovely vice-captain. If we can arrange for Juu and Retsu-chan to admit that they're madly in love, they'll be too busy getting together to try and get us together. We'll be left entirely to our own affairs."
Kyouraku peppered his explanation with lecherous winks for effect.
"Our affairs," Nanao stated, "are strictly limited to budgets, training, and other division business." She paused, trying to decide whether she was about to get herself in over her head. "However, I'd rather not have anyone else encouraging your ridiculous advances, so I'm in."
Shunsui grinned delightedly. "Fantastic! So here's what we do..."
Nanao crumpled another piece of paper into a ball and tossed it expertly into the wastebasket across the room. "Frankly, sir, your lack of subtlety is appalling, but not surprising," she quipped.
Shunsui shrugged as his lieutenant handed him another piece of paper. When he returned that one, however, she placed neatly in a stack beside her. "Frankly, Nanao-chan," he replied, "I think you're shooting down some very good ideas simply to get me to sign more forms."
"Well, as long as you've got me scheming against people, I might as well make the most of it." She handed him a blank piece of paper.
A few moments later, Shunsui proudly held up a rough sketch of a woman wrapped in a towel holding a handkerchief out to a man who seemed to be throwing up into a hot spring that had steam and sparkles rising from it. Nanao grimaced at the image, knowing that even though the pencil sketch was in black and white, the illustration was meant to be of a man coughing up blood into a steaming pool of water.
"Your idea of romance is rather dismal," she remarked, reaching for the drawing. Shunsui yanked it out of her reach.
"No, see, we'll tell Retsu-chan that Juu needs a nice, relaxing evening at the hot springs. The steam would do wonders for his lungs, we'll say, but he needs looking after so he doesn't pass out and drown. So Retsu of course accompanies her favorite patient, and he'll start to cough, and when she goes to pass him a handkerchief, maybe her towel slips and then..."
"Enough!" Nanao exclaimed as the description started getting detailed. "Anyway, if we use Ukitake-taicho's health as an excuse, Unohana-taicho will treat it as work. She's too professional for something like that."
"Then what would you suggest, my clever Nanao-chan?"
Nanao sighed as she handed Shunsui another form to sign. She took a blank piece of paper for herself and began to write.
"Something like this, perhaps..."