Another chapter! Hooray me! I'm basically writing this as I go along. I already have the ending written out, but all I have to do is fill up the middle. I tried my best to update it as soon as I could, but school was holding me back! Anyway, I think everyone has an idea as to what's going on and...oh for crying out loud! Just read the story while I try to write the next chapter...I must learn to hold my tongue.


Chapter 3: Misadventures in Romance

Dear Monty,

Don't worry about your first reply because I can understand why you would become so angry. I am glad that you have considered becoming my friend, and I can assure you that you won't regret it. I think you'll find me to be a very kind, caring, and likeable person. Perhaps I can be your personal diary. Or maybe your psychiatrist. Or maybe more.

I feel terribly sorry about your misadventures in romance. Love is such an unfair game to play. Why, just last week I tried to make an advance on my unrequited love. He brushed it off as usual. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing anything right.

Anyway, I think that you should keep looking around for possible lovers. Your true love might just be right under your nose, at your work, maybe, right beside you.

So, I guess all of your girlfriends left you? Didn't you have more than just that one? Oh well, I suppose that your trusted assistant Waylon Smithers can also be your confidant.

Sincerely,
Wanda Silverson

P.S. You could also confide in Bobo, if need be.

Dear Wanda,

How sad that your unrequited love isn't realized. That man must be a real insensitive fool not to notice your affections. This may be a little farfetched, but wait for the right moment, and then go ahead and kiss him full on the lips. That's something I would do to get someone's attention! I actually did that to my recent girlfriend at the movies. But then again, what do I know about youthful love nowadays? Yes, the game of love is strictly for the young and effervescent. That is something I have come to learn years ago.

My most recent girlfriend, who I had mentioned in my previous letter and previously in this letter, was a young police officer named Gloria. She was a majestic lady. The funny thing was that I had to have one of my employees tag along on our dates. I don't remember the lad's name. Oh, when I was around her, I felt and acted so youthful and alive...and strangely not like myself. Funnily enough, the whole reason I set out in search of love was because of a message I had received inside a cookie, of all things. "You will find true love on flag day." Well, flag day has been over for quite a while, and I still haven't found true love.

In addition to Gloria, I dated Ms. Jacqueline Bouvier. She was a real go-getter who could dance up a storm. I remember asking her to marry me: how happy she was, how happy I was, how rapidly my knee cap was filling with fluid. Our wedding was almost perfect! But then that old stiff had to invade and interrupt the ceremony! And since that was not enough for him, he had the audacity to make off with my girl? How dare they cross Charles Montgomery Burns! Doesn't love favor the rich anymore?

Sincerely,
Monty Burns

P.S. Ah, yes. My precious Bobo. I can always trust him...

Wait a minute...
How did you know about Bobo?

Mr. Burns pulled his blanket over him as he laid in his bed, "Smithers! Where's my darling Bobo?! I need him!"

Smithers entered Mr. Burns room with a freshly dried teddy bear in his hands, "Right here, sir. He was waiting for you to bring him to bed all day."

Monty snatched Bobo out of Smithers' hands and cuddled closely to its soft fur, "Oh Bobo, how I love you so! Where did you find him?"

"He was in the closet, sir."