phoenix rising arc; part three
notes: i'm so sorry this is late! i tried to make it super long to make up for the delay, but that was just delaying it more... i've been kinda stressed lately 'cause it's almost exam season so...
i hope you all had great holidays!
chapter's fic rec: this is yuri on ice, but until my feet bleed and my heart aches by reiya on ao3 is really good! it's angsty, but good.
chapter's song: shape of you, by ed sheeran.
word count: ~5.9k please kill me
warnings: very badly written fight scenes. also more selfishness, whining, n weird prophetic dreams.
disclaimer: okay but does masashi kishimoto have a twitter account dedicated to troye sivan?

"The greed and selfishness of men are perpetual."
-William Graham Summer

I'm standing in the middle of a strangely familiar courtyard. It's empty, and something in me aches. This isn't how it's supposed to be, the part of me I'd pushed away whispers insidiously. This courtyard should be bustling with people going about their daily business. This silence is... unnatural.

Footsteps sound, loud against the flagstone street. I look up and see a familiar face. I vaguely recognize it as the one I once owned, before everything went to hell in a basket and I was reborn into a world I only half remembered.

But her hair is still as shining and lustrous as it ever was and there are no bags under her eyes. Even though she's wearing the familiar hospital gown that always itched in uncomfortable places, I almost don't recognize her as the me that once was.

"Hey," she greets, coming to a stop in front of me. "Nice night we're having."

"Mn," I say in agreement, because what the hell, this isn't the weirdest thing that's happened to me yet.

"Do you remember your old home?" she asks, apropos of nothing, gesturing expansively to the world around us. The sky is gray from smoke, there's trash lining the sidewalks, and the buildings are drab and lifeless. It's still home, though, so I nod.

Her face contorts into a snarl. "How can you say that," she demands, "if you've rejected me?"

"I can't afford that kind of weakness. Not in this world, at least."

"Are you sure those are your thoughts?"

"Of course they're my thoughts," I say impatiently. "Whose else would they be? Yours?"

She tilts her head to one side. "Mn, I don't know, maybe... hers?"

I follow the line of her finger to see a small figure slipping silently back into an alleyway. It appears to be a young girl—maybe around eight or nine years old. Her eyes are red, I realize with a start, and spinning with the Sharingan.

"The real Kushina?"

"Yeah," Kushina snaps, emerging from the shadows. "That's me, and don't you forget it. You're just an imposter in this body, and I'm gonna get it back someday, just you wait."

I whirl around and stare at Before-Kushina. "This is in my mind? She's still in my mind?"

"You can't let her have control," Before-Kushina tells me sternly, as if she'd known about my immediate impulse to give up responsibility for the fate of this world, what could a nine-year-old do to it anyway, "she'll destroy everything you've worked for."

"What if I don't care?"

"Get out," she snaps, and the world fades to black.

I wake with a start and a feeling of overall doom. The dream is already fading from my mind, as usual. All I can remember is a feeling of desperation and selfishness.

...not really anything out of the usual, I admit to myself in a rare moment of honesty.

(Good qualities for you to have, little imposter. It'll only make my inevitable return easier.)

I shudder a little, checking the alarm clock by my bed. It's probably the only thing in the room that's mine.

Of course, everything in this entire district is mine legally, but this clock is the only thing that makes this room different from the one the real Kushina would have known. I wonder, sometimes, if I've left it this way in her memory. It's something the me from before might have done, but unnecessary sentiment will only get you killed in this world.

(Silly child. Why honor the one who will kill you?)

It's around four in the morning—a time Before-Kushina would never even consider waking at. In a world where you can never really be completely off your guard, it's become almost routine for me to get up this early.

I grab the kunai from under my pillow sleepily as I crawl out from under my covers—another habit I've been forced to adopt through conditioning and sheer repetition—and begin my morning stretches. I probably should be doing these on the floor, but no one's ever told me not to stretch in bed.

"Don't do that."

Well.

I spring out of bed, vaguely registering the cold wooden floorboards beneath my bare feet. The kunai in my hand flies towards the source of the noise before I register the throwing motion, and I follow up with another from the pouch tied around my leg automatically.

Then I blink. It's Kakashi.

"Sensei," I acknowledge, collecting the two kunai offered to me and storing them back in my pouch. "You're up... early."

"Maa," Kakashi says, waving a hand casually, "I had a feeling you were doing something bad for you. Don't stretch on a soft surface." He seems uncharacteristically serious.

"Sorry," I say, not really meaning it, and drop onto the floor to restart my stretches.

"That's all I had to say," Kakashi says, shrugging. He considers my shivering form for a second, then disappears in a swirl of leaves.

"That was odd," I mutter to myself with a frown, then mentally brush off the incident. Though many people have tried, no one has ever uncovered anything about Hatake Kakashi he didn't want them to.

Well, other than me. But then again, watching his backstory in animated form in another universe doesn't really count as uncovering.

As I switch to a side straddle, a blanket settles over me. I look up in surprise. No one's there.

Huh.

Engrossed in a sealing book that describes the different types of barrier seals, I don't notice the time until it's already six-thirty. Kakashi wanted us to meet at Training Ground Three at seven.

"Shit," I curse, jumping off the couch. Naruto definitely won't wake up in time if I don't go and get him, and I still have to make us bentos.

I forego the elaborate rice animals I usually make Naruto in return for ninjutsu help, replacing them with simple onigiri. He won't mind today, I'm sure—he'll probably be too busy worrying about the test. Completing the two bentos with some apple slices, I pack them into my bag and hurry out of my apartment.

"Naruto!" I yell, bashing my fist against his apartment door. "Wake up and hurry up!"

"'Kay, Kushina-chan!" Naruto calls, and I hear a bang and a muffled swear. "Sorry!"

"It's already six fifty-five," I tell him as he throws the door open, stepping back to avoid being hit by it. "We should hurry if we want to get to the training ground on time."

"Um, okay," Naruto says, scratching at the back of his head, "but yesterday, didn't you say that he had a pretty long tardy streak? He'll probably be late again, dattebayo."

I pretend to consider this. "Well, he won't be late to our team test, right? I mean, it's actually important. Well, more important than our first meeting, at least."

I don't really have a justification for wanting to be punctual, especially since I already know he'll be at least two hours late. I could probably be more productive not waiting at a training ground for that long, but my instinct is to be there anyway.

I'd already changed the team assignments, a pivotal part of the Plot. Who's to say I hadn't made Kakashi want to be early for once?

...it was kind of unlikely, but it was a possibility.

(Interesting that mental quirks carry over from past lives, little imposter. Your flaws just make my job easier, in the long run.)

Naruto looks a little skeptical (fair enough, my reasoning was pretty flimsy), but lets himself be dragged out of his apartment and onto the way to Training Ground Three without comment. Something in my gut untwists as we arrive exactly on time, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hyuuga-san," I greet politely, and Hinata rises gracefully from her seat beneath a small tree.

"Uchiha-san, Naruto-kun," she says with a return bow. Her face is slightly pink, but it's a marked improvement from the near-fainting at the mere sight of Naruto.

Digging into the bag I brought with me, I offer her a bento. "Did you eat yet? Don't listen to Hatake-san, if you don't eat, you won't have any strength to do whatever he'll throw at us."

Hinata nods timidly, accepting the bento. "Y-yes, that makes sense. Why would h-he lie to us, though? Isn't it in his b-best interest to teach us good habits?"

"It doesn't really affect him if he plans to fail us. Though, if he's loyal to Konoha, he shouldn't be sabotaging the newly graduated forces. Maybe it's also a test?"

Hinata shrugs but offers no alternative suggestions, snapping open her pair of disposable chopsticks and daintily picking up an apple slice. Naruto, who looks a little confused, nevertheless takes the bento I hand him and digs in.

"Would you like to spar to warm up?" I offer Hinata, glancing perfunctorily at the sun. "It doesn't look like our sensei will be here any time soon."

"I told you so, dattebayo," Naruto whines, but goes ignored.

"O-of course," Hinata says, stepping forward to make the one-handed seal of confrontation with me. I stand up and return the gesture.

"Naruto, referee," I tell him, settling into the Uchiha Clan Taijutsu starting position. Though the clan's taijutsu style isn't really suited to a kunoichi's usual build, it would raise too many questions if I stopped using it—something about dishonoring my dead family.

In my mind, it would be dishonoring them further if I died because their taijutsu style was too shinobi-oriented. The Uchiha clan was the only clan that persisted, in general, in believing that kunoichi were weaker than shinobi.

When you think about it that way, it really is no surprise they were all exterminated. Their overall sense of entitlement and backwards mindset meant that it was just a matter of time before someone snapped.

Everyone in Konoha was expecting it, if only subconsciously. They just weren't expecting something so extreme.

"Sure," Naruto agrees, jolting me out of my monologue. "Three."

Hinata visibly tenses, dropping into the Jyuuken base stance.

"Two."

(In the real world you don't get any preparation time.)

"One."

(Go.)

"Go."

Hinata blurs into motion, and I instinctively dart back to shield myself from her devastating blows. She's unconsciously pulling them—a little insulting, but not enough for me to give up that advantage—but one hit to a vital area and my greatest weapon is taken out of my arsenal. Such is the power of the Jyuuken, in a world reliant on chakra.

I flip over her head, trying for a roundhouse kick. It won't connect, but it'll occupy Hinata while I prepare my real weapon.

Paper seals are inconvenient and applying them is clumsy, but I haven't built up the understanding of seal design necessary to apply them by touch alone. Instead, I've settled for keeping a stash of useful seals predrawn on slips of paper in my kunai holster. The strategy isn't perfect—not by a long shot—but it works.

So what if I have to use exorbitant amounts of ninja wire to actually activate the seals? It's not like the Uchiha will be using any of their stash any time soon.

(How dare you, they were the best clan, now they're all dead, hIsfAuLtHiSfAuLtHiSfAuLt—)

I mentally swear and slam a light explosive seal down, leaping away as Hinata closes in, aiming for the tenketsu points on my wrist. Instead of following through when she misses, Hinata seems to freeze up when she sees the seal. It's only for a fraction of a second, but a fraction of a second can make all the difference in ninja fights.

A fraction of a second is all it takes for my chakra to travel down the ninja wire and activate the seal.

Fortunately for Hinata, all this particular one does is cause a lot of smoke—at the least, she'll be lightly singed. Its main purpose—in sparring, at least—is to confuse my opponent.

Hinata has fallen out of her Jyuuken stance, blindsided by the lack of explosion. I take the opportunity to slip under her guard and press a kunai to her neck.

"Yield," I pant. She nods carefully, wary of the sharp blade threatening to pierce her jugular.

I remove it and make the seal of reconciliation, offering Hinata a faint smile. The spar had only lasted a minute, but we'd almost been evenly matched.

"Hyuuga-san, I would recommend that you spar with Naruto. When I activated the non-exploding seal, you didn't react quickly enough to get back into the match. You need to work on thinking on your feet. Naruto is quite unpredictable, so he may be a good match for you."

Hinata looks a little hurt at first, but I cock my head to the side, and her expression clears. "U-um, Uchiha-san, I-I think your application of s-seals was clumsy. M-maybe you could work on pulling them out f-faster, or, um, applying them b-by touch?"

She's still more uncertain than I'd like. "Mn," I agree, slipping my hand into my kunai pouch. "Unfortunately, I'm not advanced enough in sealing to do that. I'm working on it, though. Thank you for the advice, Hyuuga-san."

Naruto looks between us. "Um, everything looked good to me, dattebayo! Hinata-chan, wanna spar?"

I blink, watching Hinata's face flush a bright pink. She stutters out an agreement, and I quickly get out of their way, counting down from three as I do so.

They leap towards one another in blurs of orange and lavender, and I shift my attention to my sealing work. If Hinata had even hit me once in that spar, it would have been over all too quickly. If I want to survive the coming years, I'll have to step up my training.

Hinata ends up winning their short spar, despite clearly being unwilling to harm Naruto. If I didn't know that reluctance to cause harm could kill her, I'd almost call it cute.

(Weak. We could do so much better, little imposter.)

Naruto and Hinata make the seal of reconciliation and sit next to me.

"Kushina-chan! Did you see how awesome Hinata-chan was in that fight, dattebayo? Wasn't she great? She totally kicked my ass!"

It's... unusual for Naruto to be so excited about defeat. He's probably (at least subconsciously) picked up on Hinata's lack of self-confidence—it's kind of obvious. Clearly, it had been possible to miss; the canon version of him hadn't noticed, so I'm grudgingly proud of him nonetheless.

I give him an approving nod over Hinata's ducked head. "Yes, she was impressive. However, she was pulling her blows."

Hinata buries her face into her collar in shame.

"Not that it's a bad thing," I hurry to add on. "At least, when you're sparring with allies. You might want to work on that before you get into any real combat situations."

I seem to be making things worse, I note with a faint feeling of resignation. Social skills are an important skill to have—it's too bad before-Kushina hadn't realized it.

(You wouldn't need those "skills" if you just left this pathetic village.)

Sighing, I sit back and let Naruto work his magic. In a matter of minutes, Hinata's back straightens and, while her flush doesn't completely go away, it does subside a little. "T-thank you, Uchiha-san, for the advice."

"Don't thank Kushina-chan!" Naruto insists, looking indignant. "Even if she didn't mean to, she still made you feel bad, dattebayo!"

"S-she was trying to help me," Hinata counters, "she just expressed h-herself in a way that hurt my feelings. T-teammates can be a little harsh t-to each other, sometimes."

She darts a quick glance at me and begins stammering apologies for her presumption.

"No," I say, feeling oddly detached, "It's okay. We are teammates after all, Hinata-san."

This, of course, causes Hinata to fall backwards in a dead faint.

"Kushina-chan!" Naruto scolds, catching her easily. "You shouldn't say that to people so suddenly, dattebayo!"

I roll my eyes, trying to quash the stubborn feeling of warmth in my chest. "Dobe, don't talk as if you do any better. She practically faints any time you say anything."

"Hey! I'm not even dead last!" Naruto says indignantly. "Don't call me that!"

"Dobe," I repeat, smirking at him.

Naruto howls and throws himself at me.

Kakashi arrives to a puppy pile of genin. Hinata appears to have fainted, and Naruto and Kushina look like they've been throwing dirt at each other. They're arguing as Kakashi approaches—something about class rankings and test scores. Kushina gives him a deadpan look—people do that a lot around him, really, he isn't sure why—and nudges Naruto's shoulder.

The blond turns and immediately begins lecturing him about the evils of tardiness.

"-an' Iruka-sensei said that if you're late, you're more likely to be hated among your peers! He looked really angry when he said it, dattebayo, and I heard him mutter something about a 'Hatake bastard not turning in his team failure form on time.' Was that you?"

Kakashi shrugs. "Maa, who knows? Hatake is a common surname in Konoha."

Kushina gives him an incredulous stare. (It looks like Obito's.) "Sensei, there have been thirteen recorded people in the history of Konoha with that last name. I don't know if you could call that common."

She's expressing her feelings through minor eyebrow twitches—how cute! Kakashi is vaguely reminded of his eight-year-old self. Fortunately, there are too many differences to start worrying just yet.

"Depends on your definition of common," he says, and watches in amusement as that left eyelid spasms. "And maybe Iruka-sensei was being metaphorical."

Naruto, bless his little heart, looks utterly bewildered. That's also a common reaction around Kakashi, funnily enough.

"Kakashi-sensei, don't use words Naruto doesn't know," Kushina tells him, "that's not fair to him." She's smirking a little, and Kakashi mentally rolls his eyes and reevaluates how similar she is to his eight-year-old self.

Naruto yelps in indignation and launches himself at his near-teammate.

"I'm getting a strange sense of déja vu," Kushina mumbles, weaving her way around a series of Academy-standard kicks, Kakashi blinks in confusion. That's not a phrase he's heard before.

"Is that what all the kids are saying these days?" he wonders, and watches as the dark-haired girl freezes up for a moment. She recovers admirably, of course, but Kakashi used to be ANBU. There's no way a green genin could fool him.

"Um, something like that," Kushina says, not quite meeting his gaze. She has to duck under a half-hearted punch from Naruto in the next second, and uses that as an excuse to escape from the conversation.

Hmm.

Kakashi files that away to be analyzed later and turns to the unconscious Hyuuga

(Probably his favorite, in that she's the only one who doesn't remind him, appearance-wise, of a long-dead comrade. The eyes are a little creepy, though. Kakashi's never had a Hyuuga teammate before. The Uchiha hadn't allowed it.)

He kneels next to her and nudges at her arm. A flutter of the eyelids, but no change in breathing or expression. Good, he can work with that.

Doesn't mean he's going to stand for insubordination. Ramping up the Killing Intent, Kakashi announces cheerfully, "Cute little almost-genin, it's rude to pretend to sleep while your sensei is waiting for you."

She snaps to alertness in a quarter of a second. She seems incredibly indignant, and Kakashi is relieved she can have moods other than embarrassed and kind. "Y-you're late!" she practically yells, pointing a quivering—with anger or fright?—finger at him.

He can almost see the moment when Hinata realizes that she's being rude. Her mouth shuts with an audible click, and she dives into her collar for comfort. Kakashi notes bemusedly that even her forehead is red.

"S-sorry!" Hinata squeaks, looking like she wants to dive into the ground.

Kushina and Naruto have stopped fighting and are heading their way. It looks like it devolved into a full-out spar, judging from the scorch marks on the ground.

"Are we going to have our test or not, dattebayo?" Naruto demands, glaring at Kakashi. He's offended. Does he really look like a guy who would flake out on testing his prospective genin team?

...okay, well, he's done it a couple times before. In his defense, those teams had been particularly uninspiring, and he was going to fail them anyway. Why not just spare everyone the pain of testing?

"You should have more faith in your sensei," Kakashi scolds Naruto. "Of course we're having our test."

"...and that is?" Naruto prompts when Kakashi doesn't elaborate.

(Sensei used to do that too, with the exact same flashing blue eyes. Except those eyes were warm, and full of exasperated love for Kakashi. These eyes have only distrust.)

He averts his eyes from the blond, like a miniature Sensei, to dig around in his pockets for his alarm clock. He'd known this assignment was a mistake.

"That's mine!" Kushina accuses (a little dramatically, in Kakashi's opinion) as he finally finds the thing. Kushina really needs to buy larger alarm clocks—this brand is civilian, not made to handle ninja strength.

"It is?" Kakashi asks, looking at the clock in faux-wonder. "I found it on the road of life this morning. You should really take better care of your things, Kushina-chan."

She fumes silently, but doesn't attack him. Interesting, he'd thought that taunt would be enough to make her snap.

"Anyway," Kakashi continues in a light-hearted tone of voice, "your task is to get the bells before time's up." He jingles the bells in his hand for emphasis.

Naruto blinks at him, the wind taken out of his sails. "That's it?"

"That's it!" Kakashi confirms cheerily. "It's not as easy as it sounds, though. There are only two bells, so only two of you can pass. The other will be sent back to the Academy."

Naruto blinks and looks between Kushina and Hinata, confusion evident in his gaze. Kushina narrows her eyes at Kakashi, like she's seen through his plan. Hinata squeaks, glancing rapidly between her two teammates.

Kakashi frowns at the way they all seem to accept what he'd told them without arguing, but doesn't comment. With any luck, they'll fail, and he won't have to confront living reminders of his lost ones on a daily basis.

"You have until noon," he says, and watches them all snap to attention. "Go."

Naruto doesn't know how he'll prank Kakashi, but he knows it'll be great. Maybe something with paint? The bastard seems like he'd like the color pink, if only to piss Naruto off, so coloring his hair sparkly pink maybe isn't the best idea.

He's so absorbed in fantasies of covering his sensei with glitter, Naruto barely notices when Kushina drags him off into the woods surrounding the training ground. He does vaguely register the sound of a hissed curse and the uncomfortable yanking of his collar, but his mental cackling pretty much drowns out outside input. Man, Kakashi's face is going to be great.

"Naruto! Stop daydreaming about pranking Hatake-san and help me find Hinata-san!"

Really, it's the use of Hinata's first name that gets Naruto's attention. For as long as he's known her (four years! That's like, a third of his life!), Kushina's always distanced herself through surnames. The only person she's ever used a given name for is Naruto, and she's told him on more than one occasion that the lack of an honorific tagged onto his name is, for the most part, due to his persistence.

The first time she'd called Hinata by her first name, Naruto thought she was just messing around—despite the common view of Kushina as a kunoichi who doesn't know how to have fun, she has a surprisingly wicked sense of humor when she chooses to let it out. And Hinata's face had been pretty funny—before she fainted, that is.

Then again, a genin team assignment is a pretty momentous life event. When he'd asked Iruka-sensei about them, his older brother figure smiled fondly, like he was looking back on his on team, and told him a genin team is a lifetime commitment.

"Naruto!" Kushina snaps. He'll have to think about that later, then. Naruto obligingly lets himself be dragged off, but isn't quite content to stay silent.

"Kushina-chan, why do we need to find Hinata-chan? I thought only two people could win the test!"

Kushina looks surprised, but composes herself quickly. It's almost like she hadn't expected Naruto to have picked her as a teammate over Hinata. Really, she should know better by now. Kushina is Naruto's best friend, dattebayo! Even though Hinata's super nice (and kind of cute, but don't tell anyone!), he'll take Kushina over her any time.

"Haven't you figured it out? Isn't there anything about the three-person team that's a little suspicious?"

Well, now that she's pointed it out...

Naruto doesn't think he's ever seen a two-genin team. "Isn't the standard team formation three genin and a jounin-sensei? Why does Kakashi get an exception?"

Kushina raises an eyebrow at him. "Why assume he's telling us the truth? Ninja must look underneath the underneath, remember? Maybe this is part of the test, and we have to figure out his motives for lying. What would he want to test us on?"

Naruto scratches his chin. Man, he really doesn't like this part of being a shinobi. He'd thought there'd be more exciting fights, not thinking. Usually, he just lets Kushina do the detective work. She's better at it, anyway, and she actually likes it. Her eyes get kind of sparkly whenever she's close to uncovering the truth, and she reads those weird mystery novels (that make Naruto's head hurt) like, all the time.

But Kushina's looking at him like she expects him to figure it out for himself. Naruto scowls and casts his mind back to what Iruka-sensei said were the most important aspects of ninja life: planning, dedication, and teamwork.

But how would lying about the objective of the test help Kakashi assess anything? It certainly didn't test planning, and it's pretty hard to test dedication in a day. Or, well, an afternoon.

(Bastard.)

So that leaves teamwork. The goal of the test is to get the two bells from Kakashi, which implies fighting him. Kushina's beaten it into him to not overestimate his own abilities, so Naruto knows he, alone, can't even touch a jounin. He doesn't even know if Kushina and him working together could beat Kakashi. The man is an elite, after all, the best of the best.

But three genin, working together...

That would theoretically be possible, with enough careful planning.

"Teamwork, dattebayo!" Naruto says, with an excited fistpump. "Right, Kushina-chan? He wants to makes us think we can't work together, and see if we can overcome that!"

Kushina makes that weird face she makes sometimes, when she's trying not to smile but can't completely suppress it. Naruto isn't too fond of that face. He's of the firm belief that you should always communicate your emotions clearly when you can! "Yeah, that's exactly it. So, we have to find Hinata-san."

"Okay!" Naruto chirps, following in his best friend's wake.

"Hinata-san," I hiss, tapping HInata's arm to get her attention. She jumps, then focuses her attention on me.

"Uchiha-san?"

"You can call me Kushina, I don't really care for formalities directed toward me," I tell her. "More importantly, we need to devise a plan to get the bells from Kakashi."

"Apparently he's lying to us about only two of us being able to pass, dattebayo!" Naruto tacks on. "He's trying to test our teamwork!"

"I-I thought something w-was wrong with the parameters. I have n-never seen a three-person team before," Hinata says. "Are we going to work t-together?"

"Yeah, dattebayo! Kushina-chan says she has a plan!"

"Keep your voice down!" I scold, shushing my teammates. "He's probably skulking around, listening in on our conversations."

Naruto looks appropriately chastened. "Sorry, Kushina-chan. He is the kind of creeper that would do that, dattebayo."

I roll my eyes and turn to Hinata. While the Academy hand signs aren't the most effective method of communication, with Kakashi's enhanced senses secure audio communication is impossible. The hand seals still run the risk of being seen, but it's a likely event versus a certain one.

Hand seals safer, I sign.

Hinata's eyes go wide briefly before she hesitantly signs back, Understood. Plan?

Naruto looks as if he's about to interrupt verbally, but I place my finger to my lips empathetically. He pouts and signs, Not good hand seals.

Irrelevant, I reply, rolling my eyes. Then, to Hinata, Track target. Distract, sneak, steal.

I distract?

Yes. Clones steal. I point to Naruto in clarification.

Got it! Naruto says, giving me a thumbs up. How many? It's the wrong seal—the one used for counting enemies instead of allies—but at least he's trying.

I track now? Hinata asks, preparing to activate her Byakugan.

I nod, and watch closely as she searches for Kakashi. It's a wonder Orochimaru never focused on finding a loophole in the Caged Bird Seal, never tried to capture a main branch Hyuuga for study. The Byakugan is incredibly fascinating and versatile, after all—that's why the branch family was sealed off in the first place.

Though I suppose by the time he would have considered such things, he'd fixated on learning jutsu and living forever, neither of which can be obtained through use of the all-seeing doujutsu.

It's a shame, really. Truthfully, I'd rather have the Byakugan than the Sharingan's combat-based abilities.

(Avoiding conflict is just another word for cowardice in this world.)

Original spot, Hinata signs. Attack?

Naruto is practically bouncing in action. Please? he begs, giving me big, teary eyes. Some days I really regret teaching him this particular trick in his arsenal.

I sigh and reluctantly sign Yes. It's probably not the best idea to throw Naruto at a highly trained opponent without at least giving him something concrete to do, but he's good at thinking on his feet, so he should be okay.

(Such disregard for the wellbeing of your supposed comrades. We are more alike than you think, little imposter.)

Move out.

"Watch out!" I scream as I form the hand seals for my flashiest jutsu. Naruto and Hinata roll out of the way of the giant fireball coming their way, and Kakashi replaces himself with a log.

Again.

Sure, Konoha is full of trees, but they're so important for ninja travel lumber has never been a big business. Where is he even getting perfectly cut logs?

"This battle is dragging on for too long," I mumble to Naruto as he skids to a stop next to me. "Have your clones succeeded yet?"

Naruto grimaces and shakes his head. "Not even close. The bastard doesn't have any holes in his defense whatsoever. I don't think any of my clones will be able to sneak past him—not unless he lets 'em."

I sigh in resignation, glancing at the sun. "It looks like we'll have to make up a new plan on the fly. There's not enough time to strategize."

Hinata looks like she's getting worn out. Though her hands are moving incredibly fast, Kakashi is somehow managing to avoid all her strikes while making it look like an accident.

"Fall back!" I bark, and Hinata disengages, replacing herself with a tree branch. "We don't have a lot of time to think of a new plan. Does anyone have any other ideas?"

"Wait," Hinata says, and Naruto and I turn to her expectantly. "He never said we had to get the bells from him, and he never said we had to get the bells he's holding."

"Can we really abuse that loophole, though?" I wonder. "It seems almost like insubordination to me."

"Well, we're not going to get them by rushing him," Naruto says grudgingly. "Bastard's too good."

I shrug. "Might as well take this chance, right? Since Hinata-san is the fastest out of us three, would you run back to the village and purchase a set of bells exactly like his?"

Hinata nods determinedly, glancing at the sun. She has thirty minutes to get to the village and back. It'll be a challenge, finding the bells that he has, but even a civilian could walk to the village from here in ten minutes.

"We'll keep him occupied, dattebayo," Naruto says, and I nod.

Hinata takes off, and Naruto and I rush forward to meet Kakashi.

I'm nearly out of chakra by the time Hinata gets back, proudly carrying two silver bells tied together with a red ribbon. She bursts into the clearing a minute before our time is up, and I smile faintly at her as she thrusts the bells in Kakashi's direction.

"Here," she says, "the bells."

Kakashi doesn't look surprised at all. Figures—he must have listened in on our conversation. "Well. You may have abused a loophole you'd never get away with on a real mission, Hinata-chan, but who will you give the other bell to?"

Before-Kushina read enough fanfiction for me to know what Kakashi wants her to do, but there's no guarantee Hinata will be selfless enough to give the bells to Naruto and I. It looks like I'll have to break out my rusty acting skill.

"Hinata-san," I say, stepping forward. "Give the bell to Naruto. He only graduated this year because of extenuating circumstances, and there's no guarantee he won't get shunted into the genin corps. As the Rookie of the Year, I have some measure of security in that respect."

"What? No!" Naruto, predictably, interjects. "Kushina-chan deserves it more than me, dattebayo! She's the one who came up with our original plan!"

"Which wasn't much of a plan," I remind him, "and it didn't work."

Naruto scowls. "But you still made it! I just followed your directions, dattebayo."

I grit my teeth, and force myself to say, "I wouldn't mind going back to the Academy, anyway."

(Yes, you would.)

"It would give me an extra year to polish up my chakra control and seals. That gives me better odds of not ending up as cannon fodder."

(Us? Cannon fodder? As if.)

Hinata frowns. "No!" she says, with surprising vehemence. "Both of you deserve to g-graduate more than I do. All I did was run to the village and back. T-that shouldn't guarantee me a pass."

"You all pass!" Kakashi says cheerily, and I do my best to look surprised. "The real purpose of the test was teamwork. I wanted to see if you would break apart or work together under circumstances that pit you against each other."

"You can't have three-person teams," I say haughtily. "And Iruka-sensei complained for ages about balancing the teams out—there's no way he'd have agreed to doing it again. It was pretty obvious we were either going to pass as a team, or not at all."

"It wasn't to the six teams that came before you," Kakashi says, raising an eyebrow.

I huff and turn away, ignoring the fact that if I hadn't had my knowledge of the story, I'd have played right into my new sensei's hands.

(That knowledge will be very useful once I get my body back, little imposter.)

end notes: this chapter was entirely out of hand. in my plan it says 4k, not this;;; monster... also it was supposed to be all from kushina's pov. um, have some surprise kakashi and naruto, and probably more in the future now that there's a precedent. also, why can i only end chapters with mysterious italicized words in parenthesis?
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chapter's drabble: a scene from before!kushina's life in the hospital. this is about 250 words long.
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