Fear controls people's hearts, often more times than they realize. It is not always mortal fear, for there are many levels of fear. Some may have a special dream and never accomplish it because they are afraid to fail.

I had always believed that I was brave, for I never trembled once in fear of my father's demons. My parents both feared the demons greatly and it pleased my father greatly when his cruelty made them fear him.

My father was a cruel man, as I have been explaining. He had never believed in religion, due to the loss of his sister at a young age. I never understood why father abandoned his beliefs because of this. Everyone saw her death as a blessing; she was suffering so much. Losing his sick sister made my father cruel, for he abandoned not only his faith, but any moral he ever had.

He married a mute woman, my mother, so he wouldn't be able to hear her argue against him. My mother told me (through her writing and sign language) that she married my father because she believed she could save him. I never believed such a thing was possible and I was right. My mother was too afraid to challenge my father, for she feared to lose his 'love'.

My father feared the demons and his own death, which to him, were one in the same. I had always believed that he captured the demons so to protect himself. He may have feared God would send angels to strike him down for losing faith and his demons would naturally kill them and in result, protect him. However, I never found out for certain.

There is a reason for everything, and my awareness of this may have saved my life.

Youko Kurama had scared me when he had struck me, and thanks to Yukina's healing powers I didn't bleed to death. To this day I still have that scar. A nasty, ugly patch of pale scar tissue on my arm. It has served as a permanent reminder of the lethal power of demons.

For the next four years I avoided contact with Youoko Kurama. People who visited the zoo told me their favorite demon was the starving fox demon, for his red eyes and snarling gave them a good scare. I hated that they took pleasure in his pain. My father kept Youko Kurama like that, to keep me away, and it worked.

Every year on my birthday he would ask me if I wanted to help feed Youko Kurama (he only fed his enough to keep him alive). Out of fear I refused every time.

I spent the last four years looking after Yukina. Making sure no one pushed her like my father pushed Youko Kurama. I hated how my father treated the demons. Not all of them were as lovely in appearance as Youko Kurama and Yukina but they could be just as intelligent. But I knew, from observing Youko Kurama, that demons are not like humans. A demon can kill with one stroke of his or her hand, and I have the scar to prove it.

By this time in my life, my father had learned that there was more demand for demon zoos across the sea in Gandera. He all but immediately packed up the zoo and booked us on a ship. To save money he didn't hire any assistants, which meant it was my duty to help him tend the demons.

On the day we left I saw the sea for the first time. A mass of dark blue water as far as the eye could see and deeper than any heart could imagine. It was beautiful.

And I was afraid of it.

The black waves that jumped up as if to grab me, the depth, everything about it was frightening; as if it wanted to swallow me up.

Yukina, however, found the sea fascinating.

"It is ice unfrozen." She had said as I loaded her cage onto the ship.

Yukina never minded captivity. She said she felt safer that way. She had also said she enjoyed my company and that lightened my heart. No matter what I do, I feel like an annoyance to these poor demons.

We soon discovered after a week that father got terribly seasick and could not bear to move while the ship was moving. Therefore I was in charge of feeding the demons until we docked. I had not gone to feed the demons with my father the whole first week because he wanted to prove to a few attractive stewardesses that he was a brave, honorable man. Alas for turbulent waves and the sickness of men.

I remember that night, walking down the steps to the cargo hold. I was trembling in fear anytime the floor beneath me moved, clinging to the railing so tight my knuckles turned white. I looked at the many cages lining the wall, each with a unique demon inside. I spotted Yukina, singing softly to calm an angry demon in a cage to the left of her own. I instantly knew him to be Youko Kurama. My father had given me specific instructions not to feed Youko Kurama the entire voyage. However, I couldn't bear to watch the demon suffer even more.

Knowing that even though my father planned not to feed Youko Kurama but had an ample supply of food to taunt him with, I made up my mind to feed him as well. All the demons had their own marked food and as I fed them I tried not to look at them. Today, even Yukina saddened me, for she too was caged. I came to Youko Kurama's cage, where the fox demon growled at himself in the farthest corner.

"Hello, Youko Kurama. I havent seen you in four years. I see my father is still as cruel to you as ever." I had said.

He gave a loud snarl and red eyes flashed up at me. I trembled in fear but didn't recoil.

"I am not supposed to feed you at all but I will never be like my father. You are an intelligent being and he is trying to rob you of that. I hope you will forgive my absence." I told him gently.

Quickly I threw a large chunk of meat into the cage and jumped away as he lunged forward to devour it. After eating, he returned to himself, his gold eyes looked up at me as if seeing a ghost. I gave him a smile, though it was small and nervous.

"Hello."

He had looked like he was about to say something but he didn't, instead he licked his claws clean of the blood from the raw meat. I moved to Yukina's cage, listening to her talk and sing. Her cage was to the right of Youko's and I saw he would observe us, silent curiosity in his eyes.

The next week on the ship was like this, however, each day, Youko Kurama was less aggressive than the night before. While I was learning to trust him again, he was able to get to know who I was and who I became over the last four years.

Yukina would sing and tell grand stories to us, and even the other demons were calmed by this. She taught me a few songs that I would practice with her and I listened to her grand stories of far of places and different worlds. I was awed by this and would listen until Yukina told me to retire to my quarters and rest. I would bid all of them a good night and leave, clumsily making my way back up to my deck to our family's sleeping cabin.
Honestly, if I had not become friends with the demons, life on the ship would have been very miserable. The crew and staff didn't approve of the demons on board and thought my family wicked and vile. They insulted my parents often and my parents were mean to them as well. My parents weren't exactly saints.

I often questioned if there was any true kindness in the world, or if it was all just costume jewlery worn on a hand of cruelty.