This was inspired by faith alana alastair's 'tarnished stars written...'. Thanks!
Hannah
it was the night of mon. nov. 9th. when my friends and I got to the living room louisa and cherie were sitting on the sofa.
"omygod I really want to go out," cherie was sayinf.
"we will if I can get up," louisa said.
"god you get dizzy a lot."
"well I drink a lot."
"hey," I said.
Cherie jumped about a mile.
"omygod. Hannah you just came in let's go somewhere. Is it snowing?"
in all my yrs i'd never seen her life this. She was usually the calm nice one.
I looked around the room to the window. Although it was dark out I didn't see any snow.
"no it's..."then I caught what she meant: "actually yeah. I'll hit up chris."
"ok. Omygod are you itchy cause i'm itchy?"
clearly she hadn't yet come down.
"no not paritcularly," I said.
"hey are you guys coming?" I asked my friends.
"yeah."
"i want to come," cherie said.
"ok."
when we got out behind the house puck and dianna were there.
"hi," puck said happily.
"are you?" I asked.
"yeah. Greens. If you want some later..."
"um no but I told cherie it was snowing, so."
"right ok."
"i got a light," dianna said holding it up.
"ok."
we sat down on the lawn. It was cold and dark.
My friend took the bent spoon out and held it. My other friend put water on it.
"yall got clean needles right?" I asked.
" 'yall' ," puck said laughing: "you sound like ashley."
"shutit and answer the question. Do you?"
"yeah. Always."
"they damn well better be cause I know someone who got hep when they weren't."
"yeah I think I know who you mean."
dianna held her light under the spoon until it cooked the liquid and the powder.
"needle?" puck asked.
"uh huh. Here," my friend gave him a needle.
Puck filled it and mainlined the drug into louisa's arm.
"oh god that's good," she said.
"anyone else? Hannah you?" puck said.
I didn't know what health problems cherie said so I told him "i brought my own needle man. But yeah."
"oh ok. That's cool."
he filled me up and once he had the drug began to set in.
"if I get sick from this..." cherie said.
"you get sick from withdrawl honey. And we got stuff the green stuff. You're fine. Ok? We got it taken care of," puck told her.
"so long as I keep shooting up. And don't leave room or time for withdrawls. I'm ok."
"well you'll be good anyway but yes."
"you sound just like an alcoholic," I muttered a little perturbed by her remark.
"where you get it?" I asked cherie.
I got mine from my college friends.
"um. Ashley knows a guy who knows a guy that kindof thing," cherie replied.
"oh."
"but if you don't work then you...how do you..."
"pay for it?" cherie asked smiling.
She seemed calmer now.
"um. Well fuking."
"oh. Does louisa know?"
"yeah. She'd rather I use actual money which I have a few times. She knows doesnt agree w/ it."
oh. ok.
"so. Who wants some greens?" puck asked.
"not now puck I want to enjoy this or at least experience it," I said.
"ok well let me know."
"ok."
it had been 12 hrs. since the last time i'd used and felt horrible. It was 7 a.m. The next day. I woke up got out of bed and went to the bathroom where I promptly got sick. I had this horrible cramping inmy stomach. Luckily I wasn't dizzy but I was too nauseous to get up and lock the door. I heard the door start to open and felt the presence of a guy.
"uh..." I managed letting someone know I was in there.
"oh sorry I. Uh hannah?"
"uh yeah hi."
"fuk what's going on are you ok? Well no I mean you don't look ok. Ok so what's going on?"
he closed and locked the door and sat down next to me.
"i um I think i'm going through withdrawl. Omygod I feel awful."
"ever gone through it before?"
"yeah and. Hey why aren't you we did the same stuff."
"yes but not all of the same stuff. I had trees. Which helps. You can get dizzy off those though so."
"i need a fukin painkiller man and trees are it."
"think you'd be able to stand? Cause we're not smokin them in here."
"uh no. damnit don't you have edibles?"
"uh no sorry."
"omygod."
"yeah I know you're uncomfortable I get it i've been there."
"i shoulda just done more. Not that that's a great solution but i-ok whoa now i'm sick."
"how can I help?"
"just I do we have sprite or something?"
"yeah i'll ask dianna to get some and i'll stay here w/ you."
"ok."
"yeah it'll take awhile."
"well I know that."
"sorry."
"not your fault i'm an addict. Damnit."
"shhh. Get as comfortable as you can. You can even get comfortable on me if it helps."
The door opened. Someone came in. it was a tall thin brunette. She went to the sink then saw us.
"hi uh...spencer...right?" I asked in my withdrawn haze.
She looked at us: "yeah we met at dinner the other night. I'm kate's friend from school."
"right um hi."
"hey i'm puck," puck told her.
"hi spencer nice to meet you."
"yeah you too."
"sorry I just came in for some advil. I have a headache and you problems."
"oh um they don't keep their pills in the bathroom. They'd get all weird. Here i'll show ya," puck said getting up.
He looked at me: "you ok here?"
"uh yeah."
"ok."
he and spencer left closing the door behind them.
pills I don't know why I didn't think of that that might help. And in fact there were some in my room and a cup. I don't know how much they'd help but they'd help. I wondered if puck had texted dianna yet about the sprite.
I stood and slowly made my way to my room. Once I got there I didn't feel up to filling up the cup but I did have whiskey. I knew you weren't supposed to mix pills w/ alcohol but I didn't like swallowing them dry. So I took 4 w/ the whiskey.
At that moment a knock came on my door.
"uh yeah?" I asked looking towards it.
"it's me," dianna said: "i have something for you."
"ok um it's unlocked so."
"ok."
dianna came in holding a cup she closed the door behind her.
"here it's some sprite puck told me you wanted some," she told me.
"oh ok thanks I was wondering."
"yeah I ran into him in the kitchen he was talking w/ spencer?"
"yeah kate's friend from school."
"she seems um . So what's going on?" dianna asked as I took the sprite.
"i'm going through ."
"oh. Yeah i've gone through it a few times myself. I also drink a lot."
"yeah. See i'm fine when i'm doing the drugs it's when I come off them that's...that's the problem."
"yeah I know what you mean."
It was that night. I was in my room. I heard puck, spencer and kate talking downstairs. Spencer stopped talking and came upstairs. A knock came on my door.
"um yeah?" I asked.
"hey it's me. Puck says you have pills?" she asked.
"yeah um should be open so."
"ok."
she came in and looked around the room not spotting any in the room.
"in the closet top shelf," I told her: "you can just...i mean...it's ok if."'
"ok thanks."
i'd rather have someone go in my closet than through my drawers.
She went to the closet her back to me and opened it seeing a white statue w/ the celtics basketball team symbol on it.
"oh this is cool," she said seeing it.
"thanks my parents have one just like it. Not...not jesse and karen I mean my actual parents lacy and mark. It feels weird referring to them like that."
"oh. You from boston?"
"yeah."
"oh. I'm from pa so. Pretty close. Basketball fan?"
"well I don't it but I don't like prefer it. I'm more of the artist type."
"oh. And yeah I know what you mean."
"and actually..." I said remembering: "i meant to put that on my dresser when I moved in but. Somehow that never got done. Will you...?"
she handed it to me: "yeah."
"thanks," I said taking it.
"still don't feel like getting up?"
"no um ."
"oh. Well I think they might smoke so if you want to come...it's ok."
"ok yeah maybe."
"i have a headache again. And lady problems."
"yeah I know how that is."
It was later that night when a knock came on my door. I wasn't asleep cause drugs made your sleeping schedule weird.
"yeah?" I asked.
"hey it's me. I can't fukin sleep do you have any sleeping pills?" spencer asked.
"yeah closet. And it's open so..." I said.
"ok."
she came in closing the door behind her standing against it. She went to the closet and opened it.
"um I see bottles of liquid and no not the whiskey but where are...?"
"oh I mean I have sleeping pills but I don't take them. they're in a box on the floor. Yeah the liquid stuff's..."
"oh zzzquil ok I got it. Also I have another headache so."
"yeah it's ok if you have some aleve," I told her: "or w/e."
"ok damn looks like you have a whole arsenal up here. I don't know how quickly this stuff's going to kick in so..."
"yeah pretty much. And yeah it's ok if you sleep in here."
"ok."
"i'll be back," she said taking them to the bathroom.
"ok," I said after she'd left.