Hey guys. First off, thanks for the reviews. Glad to know people are liking this :D
Second, I know I said I'd try update faster but I've been working around the clock. Ive written a few chapters but it's getting the time to type them up thats a problem.
Now this chapter might be disappointing, I don't know, but I like it and felt the need to introduce a strong Spemily friendship.
So here it is. Hope you enjoy.
Swim practice passed by far too quickly for Emily's liking. She had wanted to stay in the relaxing water all day, working her muscles until the burn took her over, but unfortunately Chemistry was now just around the corner. Pulling out everything she would need for the next hour she closed her locker with an irritated sigh, jumping when the door revealed that she wasn't alone.
"Boo!" Spencer smirked.
"What the hell, Spence!" Emily snapped back. "Are you stupid? I could've had a heart attack!"
Spencer just rolled her eyes at the outburst. Her usually easy going, playful friend's unnecessary anger was a dead giveaway, to her, of her guilty conscience. "Ok, firstly, no you couldn't. Stop being so dramatic. Second, don't take your craziness out on me. And third, what did you do now?"
Her voice was as calm as always, so sure of her words, and it just proved to annoy the slightly taller girl even more. "Why do you do that? You always act like you know the ins and outs of my head. Who said that I've done anything?"
"I did," she replied, matter-of-factly. "I know you, Em. Don't even try to play dumb. We tell each other everything. You're my best friend, and that means that I know that right now you're feeling guilty for something that you didn't feel guilty about when I saw you yesterday." With her eyebrow raised, Spencer propped a hand on her hip, trying to further emphasise how easily she could read the tanned girl. "So, are you gonna stop being a moody bitch and tell me what stupid thing you did this time?"
There was a long moment of silence, both brunettes staring each other down until, finally, Emily dropped her tense shoulders with a defeated breath.
"I don't know, Spence. I dreamt about her again but I don't know. I'm used to that, y'know."
"Soooo, you didn't accidently catch her in a towel or say something crude or…"
Emily suddenly found a spot of mud on her shoe to stare intently at. "I may have agreed to a movie night with her," she practically whispered.
It may sound like nothing but, as she had said, Spencer knew Emily inside and out. They were the closest of the four friends. They knew everything about one another because, although all of the girls had each other's backs, they were the only two that were capable of putting their own views aside completely to ensure the other's happiness. They could be supportive whether they agreed or not. Aria and Hanna tried, but there was always a feeling that there was a limit to their ability to understand. The two athletes didn't have a limit. Somehow they knew that their friendship was unconditional.
That is the reason why Spencer had told Emily, and only Emily, that she was gay too. And that is also the reason why she knew that a few innocent movies would be so far from innocent in the other girl's mind.
A brief yet excruciating silence passed between them before Spencer asked, "Alone?"
Emily nodded without removing her eyes from the floor.
When she finally decided that the silence wasn't going to end of its own accord, she raised her head, only to be met with the older of the two's disappointed, knowing expression. "I know, I know. It's stupid and-"
"Damn right it's stupid," Spencer hissed. "You're spending a night alone with a woman that you have an insane crush on."
"I know," she said sadly, again looking elsewhere. She never was any good at handling others being disappointed in her.
"You're playing with fire, Emily."
"I know"
"If it gets too cosy you're gonna misinterpret things. You're gonna fuck up and everything rides on you not fucking up, Em. Like, literally everything. There's Texas and Han-"
"I know exactly what's riding on this, Spencer," she barked, snapping her head towards her stressing friend, annoyed that she seemed to have no faith in her. "I won't fuck up. It's a stupid crush."
Spencer closed her eyes, inhaling deeply as she massaged her forehead, trying to put her thoughts in a sensible order. She knew that Emily had been downplaying her feelings for Mrs Marin. She had paid attention to the way she spoke of her or to her, and she had also seen the lingering looks. Every time Emily's gaze lasted a little too long, every time there was a sparkle in her eyes, showing far more than simple lust. And, though she had never told Emily, the older girl was fairly certain she had witnessed a few looks that weren't so one-sided.
But there was very little she could do. Spencer hated the idea of her friend making a fool of herself just as much as she hated the thought of Ashley returning Emily's feelings, but what could she do? Her gut told her that soon, very soon, Emily's will power would crumble, yet the swimmer refused to accept that trouble was coming. It takes an outsider to see it, and the insiders ignore it. That's just the way that matters of the heart go.
She sighed, choosing for once to relinquish control (not that she had much) and trust Emily to do the right thing. "Sorry, Em. I'm just panicking. These sorts of things have a habit of making people act crazy."
With a soft smile, she replied, "I won't act crazy."
Returning the same caring look, Spencer linked arms with her best friend. "Come on, Fields. Don't want to be late for Chem," she said enthusiastically, pulling Emily along the hall.
Emily let out a low chuckle. "Nerd."
As it turned out, Chemistry, for once, was something even Spencer didn't want to be in. the teacher was off ill so they had nothing to do but take notes from a text book.
Emily and Spencer sat at one desk, one mindlessly doodling flowers and butterflies, the other meticulously planning how best to study for the next test. Aria sat at the desk in front of them, drumming her fingers and staring into space.
It was ten minutes in to the lesson when the door next opened and heels clicked on the linoleum floor, no one bothered to raise their heads to see who had entered though. They had all been in the school long enough and by this point everyone was well aware that a certain blonde beauty never got to first period until at least five past. She slid into the seat beside Aria without even looking towards the teacher's desk, let alone apologising.
"Where have you been?" Aria asked monotonously, not really caring but needing the conversation to dull the ache of boredom.
"With Mona. Did I miss much?" Her own question was also more of a formality than anything else.
"No, but if I have to suffer through this then you three should too," Spencer complained, looking up from her plan.
Hanna's eyes widened. "Wow. Must be bad then."
"So, what's Caleb got planned for tonight then, Han?" Aria chirped with a wide grin, ever the romantic and in need of details.
Emily groaned and dropped her head to the desk. "Don't get her started."
Cackling and shoving her roommate, Hanna retorted, "Oh you know you wanna hear it all again, Emmy."
The swimmer rolled her eyes with a smile. She had already heard every single detail about Hanna's relationship with Caleb multiple times, including about their date tonight and some other things she really wished she didn't know. They were, after all, living in what was essentially a very, very long sleepover. Hearing it all so many times got boring but that didn't mean that she wasn't ecstatic that they had all been so wrong about the boy and that he was now responsible for the huge, shit eating grin on her friends face as she informed the other two girls of what she would be up to after school.
Emily stayed tuned out, seeing Hanna's expressive face and erratic hand gestures but not hearing a single word as she thought of the three girls before her and where she would be without them.
Aria was the deep one. She always had some wise words or meaningful quote to describe every emotion ever felt. After Wilden had forced Emily to tell her friends exactly why Alison's death was hitting her the hardest, Aria had been the one to talk to her, to help her find her own way of mourning and, eventually, she helped her let go of her first love. She had never been through it, but somehow she knew exactly what Emily had needed. Aria was such a loving person that she would help anyone if she had any possible way to, but Emily felt especially indebted to her because that sweet, small girl who was mature beyond her years had given her a chance to make a life for herself. Not one centred around Alison or her death. Not one crafted to gain Ali's approval, nor one dedicated to or dictated by her memory, but one solely based on Emily's own happiness. Aria truly was an amazing human being.
Now, Spencer Hastings. That girl was Emily's rock. She was her confidant, her motivator, her jester. Words could never describe how much she meant to the younger girl. The whole group were the closest that friends could be, yet Spencer somehow managed to get closer. They had helped each other one a deeper level than they had thought possible. It was like they were under each other's skin, like they were one and the same, instead of feeling empathy they could practically feel when the other felt. They just knew one another. Emily had an idea that that was what a soul mate must feel like. After all, soul mates don't necessarily have to be a romantic thing, just two people with an inexplicable bond. They had discovered early on that their relationship would never be romantic. Though it would make sense, there just wasn't anything there. No attraction, just mutual admiration. And knowing that just made them closer. They knew that they would never cross any lines, it was almost like there were no lines there to cross, so they didn't have to hold back on being themselves together. They were the perfect friends.
Emily Fields wouldn't be who she was without Spencer Hastings. And whenever she imagined things getting ugly, she knew that the teenage genius would be by her side, defending her, protecting her, and picking her up from her shattered mess on the floor. She would be with her through all of her mistakes, through all of the pain and suffering, even if she didn't deserve anyone's help. Even if it meant Spencer herself losing Hanna.
Hanna. Hanna, Queen Bee. Hanna, who the school body either bowed down to or cowered away from. Hanna, the most sensitive soul that Emily had ever seen. The girls all knew a side to the blonde that nobody else would ever get to see, except Caleb, he'd earned that right. They knew her insecurities and how badly each one affected her. They had seen how the problems of her loved ones hurt her so much more than any of her own issues. They knew that she got the most fired up by A's presence because she was scared for others, not herself. They knew that, when Hanna loved, she loved with every fibre of her being. And Emily truly loved Hanna Marin for everything that she was.
Emily was calm and forgiving by nature, but Hanna could very easily make that seem like the biggest lie ever told. The brunette would protect her to the death without question because she had seen her at her most vulnerable and never wished to see it again. Anyone who would intentionally cause that pain would see a side to Emily that no one would think possible.
Yet here she was, herself, contemplating ways to make something that would most definitely hurt the girl happen. How could she claim to care so deeply for the blonde when her own mind was being this selfish? Her own heart was craving something that would flip Hanna's world on its head.
She was snapped from her daily self-loathing by Hanna's freshly manicured finger nails in front of her face, clicking vigorously. "Em! Em! For Christ's sake, Earth to Emily!" she said, clearly frustrated.
The swimmer shook herself out of her own little world. "Sorry, what was that?"
"Fuck me, I've been talking to you for ages. Where the hell was your head at?"
A sickly lump lodged itself in her throat as her mouth opened, seeking an answer that didn't cause her chest to constrict with guilt.
Feeling a reassuring squeeze on her thigh under the table, the athlete looked up and met the soft eyes and discrete smile of her best friend, showing her that she knew what had just happened inside her head. "If you're still worried about that essay, I could help you with it one night this week," Spencer offered, fabricating a cover for her, aiming to ease her fretting.
Emily smiled gratefully, nodding before Hanna chimed in excitedly. "Ooo, that's perfect. You can keep her company while I'm not around tonight. Stay in my bed if you like, since I'll be off making good use of another bed," she smirked.
"Um, actually," Emily started, already feeling how she had moments ago again. Spencer mentally slapped her forehead at how quickly her save had been rendered useless. "I have plans tonight."
The excitement on the Queen Bee's face only grew. "Who with?"
"Your mom," Emily said, not realising what Hanna had thought she meant by plans.
Wide eyed, Hanna spoke awkwardly, "Ok, ew. Not a nice idea planted in my head right now."
Emily's own eyes doubled in size, as did Spencer's. Aria just found it to be a hilarious 'Yo Momma' joke. "Oh. No. I...didn't…no way," Emily stuttered.
Hanna joined the shortest girl in her laughter. "Of course not, you goober. Just sounded that way."
The swimmer regained her lost breath and tried to ignore the girl's reaction to the possibility of her and Ashley being together. Laughter and 'ew' weren't exactly what she wished for, even if they were just a mild version of what the reality would be. Any attempt on her part to win Ashley's heart would only result in her looking ridiculous. And if by some divine miracle it didn't, them being together would cause complete and utter disgust.
"So, what do you and my lovely mother have planned?"
"Erm…" she took a second to gather herself. She had to see, unaffected or she would give her biggest secret away. "She wants to celebrate me being allowed back on the team."
Aria cooed, "Aw, that's so sweet of her. You've really made your way into the family, eh Em?"
"She really has," Hanna grinned. "Mom treats her like a second daughter." That one sentence almost made Emily throw up right there, as Spencer's thumb immediately tried to soothe her, grazing softly over her knee, trying to communicate her understanding. "So how are you celebrating? I swear, if she gives you alcohol I'm having a talk with her about favouritism," Hanna joked, oblivious to the tense mood between half of the group.
"No alcohol as far as I know, Han." Emily forced a weak smile. "Just gonna get a takeout and watch some movies."
The rest of the day had gone by without any substantial interaction between Emily and her friends. They shared very few classes and she had spent lunch training, partly because she should, the other part to avoid Hanna. Today had been harder than most days when it came to facing her crush's daughter.
Anyway, Emily now sat in her last lesson of the day, one she shared with only Spencer, who sat one desk away with Lucas between them.
Neither really knew the boy but apparently Spencer wasn't ashamed to ask him a favour as, half way through the lesson, he handed Emily a folded piece of paper from the other athlete. For a young genius, the thought to text hadn't crossed her mind.
Emily unfolded the note and it simply read: You ok?
She quickly scribbled a half arsed reply and handed it over for Lucas to pass on.
I'm fine.
When the note landed on her desk again, she started feeling bad for using the cute nerd as their carrier pigeon, but when she looked up at him his face clearly showed how little he minded.
Bull. You've been walking around like a kicked puppy since this morning.
That statement annoyed her.
Then you already know what's up. Just drop it.
Spencer's reply took a little longer this time.
Sorry. I just want you to talk to me. I don't know if I'd say Hanna's an ass or that Hanna's right but at least we'd be talking about it.
Emily's mood wasn't good before but her best friend had just made her feel two inches tall without meaning to. She screwed up the paper and tossed it into her bag, continuing with her work.
Ten minutes passed before Spencer decided that it was ok to send another not. She didn't want to upset Emily anymore so she had waited until she thought that she could lighten the mood.
As the note landed beside her hand, Emily smiled slightly, knowing this was Spencer's peace offering.
So, dinner and a movie, eh? Should just come out with me. I'll offer something for afters ;P
Emily let out a laugh, causing some people to give her funny looks. Once the attention had shifted back to where it belonged, she replied.
Such a perv :P no thanks, Spence.
The response was immediate.
Oh you wish, Fields. I was offering ice cream. Clearly.
The tanned girl chuckled, quietly this time. They may have abandoned any thoughts of a romantic relationship but, as Emily knew all too well, Spencer couldn't help but act that way with girls. She was cocky and a flirt and overall, meant nothing by it. It was just one of her many quirks, one that Emily was shocked hadn't caused anyone to question her sexuality yet.
Clearly. You need a girlfriend. You're a pain when you're single.
No, I'm just a pain in general. But seriously, I know you're not gonna make an excuse to get out of tonight, but if something upsets you or you get any ideas, come over ok?
Ok.
I mean it, Em. Any time. I'm here to help you.
Emily smiled down at the note. She never could quite grasp why people cared so much for her.
Thanks, Spencer. I will. I promise.
There it is. Please review. And I will really try to get the next chapter up sooner.