So here is chapter three everyone! Once again thanks for the comments and stori alerts im so glad the storie is getting some followers so I´ll try my best to make it great ahahah.
I don't own Glee…besides, I prefer to be part of it, not own it xD.
After everything that happened in the auditorium, things between me and Rachel had been going rather well. The first days she was still a little uncomfortable around me, and even now she still hasn't let me in completely, which I don't mind at all. I know she stills needs time to warm up and I still find hard to focus one hundred percent to all she says in one sentence. But no biggie, I told her we would take things slowly in order to get to know each other better. What ever fits her best I'm cool with it.
I have to admit it hurt me a little when the next day after my friendship offer, as I was waiting for her by her locker, she look at me surprised and admitted she thought all I said was one time thing and by me saying the word "friendship" I meant not trying to rip our heads off every time we saw each other. Of course she didn't use those exact words, more like the whole dictionary just to make that point, but it hurt me anyway.
"Now where`s the fun in that?" was all I could say to cover my feelings at the moment. But she smiled, which compensated her last comment as I waited for her to retrieve all her books. People stared at both of us, confused as to why there was no snarling and glaring in our conversation. They were staring because of the lack of rude comments like Man-Hans, Treasure Trail or RuPaul weren't coming out from my mouth. People were staring at I'm sure in third person POV would be just as like the knows enemies "Diva and drama queen Rachel Berry and Ice Queen and once again head cheerio Quinn Fabray" were apparently having a normal conversation.
"Aren´t you worried about what people might think?" said Rachel looking up to me as we walked down the hallway, goofy and confused looks watching us go by. I then gave my best bitch glare to all of them, sending easily a message of "Back off or else". But then I realized I hadn't actually thought about that little detail at all. I say this to Rachel who looks down to her feet immediately, her arms clutching her books instantly to her chest.
"Oh…well..guess no surprise there" awesome, second hurtful but well deserved comment since the start of our friendship. I then drag her to the side while I look her right in the eyes hoping this action will help to change her mind.
"It`s not that I'm ashamed of you Rachel" I assure her. Then I give her a little smile "What I meant is that since the moment I decided to do this, that thought never came through my mind" I explain. She stays quiet for a few seconds, until I find her smiling too.
"It's rather nice to hear that Quinn, and I'm really am sorry for judging you so fast. Is just I still believe all you said was just some sort of dream of mines. That you, of all people in Glee, is willing to start a friendship with me" I look at her, my smile still on my face, till I find myself letting out a chuckle.
"Well this is quite real Rachel. And please stop apologizing, it`s not like you have something to apologize for after all I've done" I say. She nods rather cutely, as we find ourselves once again walking shoulder by shoulder.
Now things are going smoothly, at least as smoothly as they can.
She is still rather depressed about Finn since most of our conversations, no matter what they are in the beginning; somehow they lead to me trying to sooth her as I internally wish Finn could stop being a total idiotic hypocrite and just forgive her.
I´ve invited Rachel over to my house to have a sleepover so we could talk about girl stuff without being rudely interrupted by Santana, who was more of a bitch as ever since she saw my interactions with Rachel, never forgetting to mention something about Finn. I also wanted for Rachel to trust me more and what better way to do it than inviting her to my house?
It was funny, when I came to her and asked her about it, she made the most adorable surprised face I´ve ever seen. Then Sam interrupted us as Rachel, rather excitedly was accepting the inventions using some rather large words.
"So…is it true then?" I asked Rachel the first time we where l in the middle of her tale of how she and Finn broke up. She was just telling me the part where she and Puck where having a heavy making-out session in her room. I don`t know what to think at the moment, as a little conversation on the phone within me and a really ashamed Puck about a week ago pops in my mind. He called me saying he was a complete idiot and that he had made, once again, a stupid mistake he hoped Finn would never find out, because it would ruin once again his friendship with him that was just getting to how it used to be before everything happened between us. I knew in that instant that he was talking about Rachel and I remember getting a little feeling of jealousy that filled my body in that moment and t I knew it shouldn't be there. I was with Sam and even If wasn't I seriously didn't want to have a relationship with Puck again other than our friendship and special bounding of love for our daughter. But knowing that he was once again doing the same mistake he made with me with one Rachel Berry just pissed me off. I immediately hung-up, not bothering to hear more about it and I never brought the subject up again.
Rachel looked at me with those big brown eyes of hers full of sorrow, frowning at me.
"What is it true?" she asked me confused while she wept away some loose tears in her tanned face. I seriously didn't plan for her to end up crying in my shoulder, but as we where watching a movie, it just happened.
Unsure of how to say it the best way possible without…you know…saying it, I blushed and then I looked at her with shy eyes.
"You know.. that you and Puck…"and that is just as much as I'm able to say. Blame it to my stupid inability to talk about anything like this with anyone.
But suddenly Rachel`s face turns from confusion to pure shock. I'm afraid I might had pushed the subject to much with that question and slap myself mentally, as I try to mend it dumbly.
"No, I mean…you know…not that I was just trying to say…"but I just keep stuttering like and idiot, as my hand start to play with the hem of my PJ´s. I heard then a soft giggle followed by a quiet sniff coming from the brunette in front of me. My eyes find her once again while I'm wearing a confused face. She is shaking her head, her long locks dangling from side to side.
"No, thank God we didn`t" she admits relieved "If you just had let me finished Quinn, I was just getting to that" she scolds me managing to sound nice at the same time "We didn't, and it was all thanks to Noah really "I then see her like I just cant believe what I'm hearing.
"He what?" I ask in disbelief. But Puck told me he…"Are you sure we are talking about the same person here?" she chuckles, her head hitting my bed softly.
"You know, I think you don't give him enough credit Quinn. After all that happen, including his little visit to juvie, I believe he learned his lesson…."We look at each other, one of my eyebrows arched as she smiles those little smiles of hers" Okay, I was surprised to actually, since all I can manage for Noah to say to me is how bad he wants, I quote: to get into my sexy Jew pants"I can`t help but to laugh at this and she does to. After that, she continues, her mood once again dropping "At least things would have been easier if we just had done it. Finn would have a good reason for not wanting to talk to me" she confesses more to herself than me. And suddenly I feel relieved with this new information, and I can`t stop myself but to wonder why do I care so much if Puck slept with Rachel or not. But just as the thought comes, I push it away as I then realized what this means.
"What a hypocrite" Is all I say looking at the distance, remembering the time I used to be with Finn.
"What?"I hear Rachel ask me. I turned to look at her, my head still replaying old memories of a guy who I dated but was after the girl in front of me.
"I said what a hypocrite" I repeat. Rachel suddenly tenses, her walls coming up.
"And why do I get the title of hypocrite? Not that I know why are you using that word in the first place, when I'm positively sure all that I´ve just said can´t be labeled with the word hypocrite" and I know I need to stop her.
"Not you Rachel. I meant Finn" I say as I find my hand in Rachel´s shoulder. My eyes stayed glued to that little movement, my head tilted to one side. I then snap of it and sigh "You seriously think I didn't knew something happened between you two while we where dating? "she seems to be caught of guard by my question, an ashamed look on her face "I seriously can´t believe he broke up with you because you made about with Puck when he did exactly the same thing with me, I'm pretty sure more than once, a baby on the way "I point out" After he lied to you about Santana when you told him the truth about Jesse…."and I seriously cant freaking believe it. I want to go straight at him and slap him in the face. Here I was, trying my best to comfort Rachel but at the same time feeling bad for Finn. Now I realize the only person that deserves my sympathy is the girl a just some few inches away " I'm sorry Rachel, but right now all I can say is that he is being a complete idiot"
"He wasn't actually the father" she points out to and I got the urge to shake her, just to make her realize that was no the point at all "and please don't call him that…" she mumbles, looking away "He has every right to be mad at me…I just don't understand why can't he forgive me already" and once again, the tears in her eyes start to fall rather easily. I stay quiet, not knowing what is the best I could do right now: Keep talking or take her petite body in my arms and calm her down. Just as I'm about to do the second one, I hear her muffled voice " I'm sorry by the way…"I stop my movements, unsure of why she is apologizing now. Her eyes find me and again I feel the urge to hug her. She seems so heartbroken every time we talked about this…stupid Finn.
"About what?" I manage to say. She looks at me ashamed.
"We did kiss…more than once "she confesses, more tears trailing down her cheeks "I'm sorry if you ever felt this way back then" and she explodes as I feel her shaky breath in the crook of my neck. And great, I don't know what to do, once again, because I still trying to get used to be so close to her and because I've never been quite good with feelings.
We stayed like that, my hand going up and down her arms and back and Rachel crying her soul out. And suddenly I wonder if this is how real love must be like, because it was obvious Rachel was madly in love with Finn and vice versa. I ask myself if Finn is just like Rachel is right now: a bloody mess and I wonder if there is anything I could to to get this two together again. But at the same time, I can't shake the feeling that Rachel deserves much better than him.
"I´ve never felt like this…."I say to her. She looks up at me "I can even imagine how you feel right now Rachel….I never loved him and he never loved me. You do love him" I think about it and add "and he loves you. So don't feel bad about it" I say to her, hoping at least this will take some of her pain away.
"I still feel awful about it. I just want him back….I love him so much" she admits. I don't know what to say to her, until some seconds pass by.
"Can I be honest with you Rachel?" I feel her nod weakly in my neck, and so I continue, wishing what I'm about to say might be a mistake "I'm not going to lie to you…what you did was wrong" she sobs loudly "But I understand why you did it, and even If that wasn't the best way to deal with it. I also understand why Finn is so mad about it but…" and here it goes " I honestly believe his a complete moron for not seeing what I'm seeing "silence and I continue "How much you care about him and he is just hurting you because his stupid pride. What happened within me and Finn has nothing to do with you. He hurt you first by being dishonest in your relationship, just like I did with him. He is mad about something he did with me, so I don't see why suddenly he is the one here with no faults….and I'm pretty sure If you haven't told him about Puck but he had found out later he would have told you why you didn't say it when he ask for a full honest relationship" And I can picture this so easily, it make me angry "Look Rach, I know we haven't being friends that long but you are and amazing person. I know you are not vindictive and you always seem to find goodness in everyone, just like you did with me when you gave me a second chance" I get nervous about this confessions, so I clear my throat, trying to stick to my point" Uh…the thing is… I know you didn't mean what you did…."I sigh" If he can see this, then I think he doesn't deserve you at all" and then I feel myself blush, which I don't get at all.
At first I was met by Rachel`s silence and I feel like I just ruin it all. Then I hear her voice, talking in a low whisper.
"You mean it?"She asks me as she backs away a little. Her eyes seem to be shining, and I don't think it has to do with the tears they are producing rather easily. A strange feeling builds in the pit of my stomach and I'm not sure what to do about it. I nod at her, a smile forming in my lips. She also smiles, her eyes now looking at her hands.
"You'd have to be blind, and I still think that even a blind person would be able to know how wonderful you are Rach" I tell her, every single word coming out from my lips chuckles at this.
"Guess you are the only who sees it" she says, more sadness in her voice. I feel mad to all my teammates in Glee, who still treat Rachel like crap.
"They know you are" she shrugs, like she is telling me to stop lying for her "No Rachel, don't give me that" I say serious and she turns to me, confused "I'm not saying all of this just to make you feel better. I mean, I am but I'm also saying the truth. All guys in Glee club knows this, they are just to jealous to acknowledge it. I was them remember?" I don't expect an answer, so I keep talking " They know you are the one with most chances to get the hell out of here once high school is over. I felt the same way, but know I realize what stupid it was to push you away just because of this. They will come to their senses in time" I assure her, but I know deep down she still doesn't believe me "And if they don't, you'll have me" She smiles" Finn will come to his senses to, just give it time for him to remember all the great things about you" I take her hand, reassuring her about this last fact." I mean, you are Rachel Berry for crying out load. The moment he hers you singing he will be back at your feet!"I say with a big smile and a light squeeze in her hand. Still, I think she deserves better "And if he doesn't well…forget him. I'm sure there is someone out there who will love to have you in his arms"
After my little speech, I notice Rachel is in deep thought, looking out our hands in her lap. I wait patiently, biting lightly my lip from time to time, waiting for her to say something, anything. As nothing comes out from the singer´s mouth, I break the silence.
"What are you thinking?" I ask her curiously, going for my hand in hers since she is still to engrossed in them, and the to her brown eyes.
"About what you just said….you are right" she looks right at me, her mood changing quickly, her body radiating full determination. Now I'm really curious about why the sudden change in her persona "I shouldn't be like this. I'm Rachel Berry…and you just give me and idea of how to show everything I think to Finn regarding his behavior. To make him remember why he dated me the first place" and after I hear this, I cant help but smile mischievously, eager to hear more about this "Crying like a baby day and night is not going to do any good….hell why didn't I it didn't occur to me before?"she seems so confident right even used the word hell, so im guessing whatever she is planning is rather good.
"So what are you going to do?"I ask, getting closer, the smile never fading. For some reason I could see Rachel marching up right to Finn and telling him she didn't need him. I also imagine her asking me to conduct a slushie facial, Finn the main target( I knew Rachel was not going to go with this…but oh well I can´t help but to imagine her doing it). Rachel slapping him. Rachel yelling at him and the turning to me with a big satisfied smile in her face. Mainly, I imagine Rachel realizing Finn wasn't everything in her world.
"I'm going to sing to him" she informs me. Of course she was going to tell him she is over him via song. I nod frantically; waiting for what I think is coming. Maybe a song like He Wasn´t by Avril Lavigne? Or something like Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift? Wake Up by Angie Arsenault? "Merry Christmas Darling" and as she gives me her Rachel Berry smile, mine drops just as quick" You know…as a Christmas present. Just like a…forgive me present" I blink, because I can´t believe it.
"Merry…Christamas Darling?"I ask her slowly. She notices I'm not as eager as she is and she quickly asks about it.
"You think is a bad idea?" I gulp, unsure what to say. But no, I'm supposed to be supporting her about this, so I do the right thing, instead of following my instincts.
"Hell love it" I give her a fake smile, while I bite my tongue, keeping my mouth shut as I want to scream to her: YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!