Ah, reviews are like life blood, I just wonder why so many of my colleagues, now former colleagues, have now decided to leave. Leaving parties do not make for good writing environments.

Oh, superman, where are you now?
When everything's gone wrong somehow?
The men of steel, these men of power
Are losing control by the hour

For the first time in his existence, Raphael has lied to his brother, has guarded the centre of his being from him and told Gabriel that he has spent the last several hours seeking revelation, searching for the whispered words of a Father who is not there, as Gabriel hastens to remind him, suspicion lacing his tone. Even though he is using a female vessel, and genderless as angels generally are, Raphael still thinks of him in male terms, because that is what Gabriel has always been, is what he will always be.

The lying is easy, far too easy, the healer archangel thinks as he speaks again. It is easy to tell Gabriel that he is not seeking revelation because he expects the Father to understand, but rather because it soothes his troubled soul, it calms and centres him. Still, he has to be quick to reassure Gabriel that he is dedicated, to tell him that it is simply the wanton destruction and endless killing goes against everything he was created for, that he was made a healer, not a warrior like so many of the others.

It is then that he tells his greatest lie of all, that he says that he is not considering disobedience, that he would not be so foolish, when Gabriel asks it of him, tells him that he trusts the judgement of a brother who has seen his Father's face and heard his Father's voice more times than any of them, the brother who has been their leader since before He disappeared, before even the birth of the Son.

So he tells Gabriel to reassure Michael that he is loyal, that he is dedicated and utterly devoted to the cause and when Gabriel nods and vanishes back to Michael's side, Raphael takes a moment to offer up a prayer to his Father, a genuine one this time, though he does not expect a response, has long since given up on the possibility of one, but prays all the same. He prays that he has done the right thing here, that by allying himself with Dean he has not condemned himself and those who follow him to untimely and ultimately painful deaths. Worse yet, that he has not condemned them all to Hell.

The wind whips the hair of the vessel, lashing it against pale skin and he takes a moment to consider that, the way that it feels like a memory of something that he cannot possibly have experienced, the memory of the vessel as the young man's consciousness seems to roll in slumber, buried deep beneath his own and reminding him of what it is he is working to save.

The mountain top is abandoned, then, not in favour of the other archangels but rather, he goes to his own cohort, other healing angels under his command who sided with him almost before he had tentatively broached the subject, by no means willing to order them to follow him when that would be to follow him to their deaths. His second, Ariel, reports that in the last three days the number of angels who are willing to follow him have doubled, that they are quietly seeking further allies in other garrisons, discretely finding those who were appalled at Castiel's treatment, who felt betrayed by Zachariah and the other archangels. Deceived by those in command who sacrificed so many of their brethren so that Lucifer could be let lose and Dean Winchester forced to kill him.

They are ordered to remain quiet, to obey orders until Raphael, and only Raphael, tells them otherwise, to continue with the impression of unquestioning loyalty even though the healing archangel clearly desires it otherwise. He wants to declare his disapproval of this, of the things that Michael is doing, wants to make a stand and take all those who have sided with him to Dean. He wants to openly defy Michael and the only reason that he does not is that he knows that to do so now really will get them all killed, even though he knows that such a display would gain him more followers.

He cannot afford to get himself killed, there is no possible way for the humans to win if he does so, and he still has so much to teach Dean, to remind Castiel of, before he can even think about bringing the humans to battle with Michael and the Host. He knows that Michael will not even view Dean and the other hunters as a threat, knows that all it will take to defeat them is one shout from the Host.

So there is preparation to do, charms to forge, spells and sigils to teach to Dean and to Castiel, who was never in a position to learn them, weapons to be adapted and forged. Raphael never once thought that he would be using this knowledge to do that which he most abhors, never thought that he would be using it to kill.

It is not as disquieting as he knows that it should be.

SPN

Castiel does not like being in the car with Astaroth's sword, does not like the way that it feels or the way that it pulls at his broken grace, tempting, calling him to it and to the pleasures of Hell and he understands now why so many of his brothers and sisters gave in to that call, even having seen what he has and experienced the last months, he admits to himself that it's call is seductive.

He does not tell Dean, knows that the hunter has far more on his mind, far more to be concerned about than the fact that Castiel wants to take up Astaroth's blade and go after Michael himself. He does not want Dean to worry about this new darker side of him that has begun to make itself known the longer they stay in proximity to the sword. He wants to track down Sam and give it to him now, except that Sam is in a state on the other side of the country at the moment and they have work to do and hunters to persuade to join them.

Hunters, Castiel has decided, are the most trying of all of his Father's chosen children. As a whole they are more difficult even than he had foolishly thought Dean was. At least Dean was only ever going to do the exact opposite of anything the damaged angel told him to do, other hunters are far more paranoid, question more and many have said that this is not their problem, that Dean and Sam and even Castiel got them into this mess and they should be responsible for getting them out of it again and while Castiel does not exactly disagree with that sentiment, he is quick to point out that they need a great deal of help to put the world right.

It would make things easier if he knew for certain where Raphael stood on the matter.

What would also make things easier would be if the few hundred hunters in America alone were a bit more organised, if they had a hierarchy that Dean and Castiel could go to rather than visiting back water bars and safe houses in order to try and persuade them to help one by one. There was a time when they were and Castiel longs for that, a time long lost and long forgotten and it is possibly better that way, because no matter how secret they tried to keep it, people always notice a drain on resources.

Even so, they have found that the use of Cassidy's name, in conjunction with Ellen's, has opened a number of doors that would have otherwise remained closed to them, and that is something that at least reassures the angel somewhat, that the ties of brotherhood and organisation have not completely left them.

It is not enough, however, all of this, finding hunters to ally themselves with and to take Castiel's mind off of the seductive song of the sword that sits in the trunk of the Impala, calling him to the not so tender embrace of Hell. They need more, they need weapons, a way to defeat the other angels and Castiel has to admit that unless Raphael really does come through for them, really does agree to fight at Dean's side, there is no way that they will succeed where they need to.

So when an angel named Helez finds them, in a vessel that is all muscle and tendon and bone, Castiel is nervous, watches as Dean threatens the newcomer with words and blade and the other angel laughs at that, a laugh that is more the action of memory than of actual understanding. Relief is the only emotion he can identify then, that Helez finds it so amusing that Dean is more interested in protecting his family, into which he appears to have adopted Castiel, than he is in surviving to stop Michael. Helez is on their side, however, has been sent by Raphael to teach Castiel the things he needs to know about adapting mortal weapons so that they will kill angels.

The broken angel finds that more than a little distressing.

Still, he learns quickly, always has, and has always had a flair for charms and sigils, it is why he was chosen to draw the trap that kept Alistair bound, so the things that the other angel teaches him come quickly, take root in his mind and makes him consider how to use them.

They have a weapon now, many weapons, all they need is people to use them, people to stand by them. It is then that Sam calls and from the expression on Dean's face, the news is not good.

This is the time, this is the place
So we look for the future
But there's not much love to go around
Tell me why this is a land of confusion

Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review that can show how much you care.

Artemis