Thank you every one for reading, reviewing, and putting this on alert! I get super excited when you do!

I don't have a posting schedule, but I will say I am going to try for every week if not every other week.

Hope you enjoy the latest installment and oh, yeah...I don't own Twilight...that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

"Thanks for showing me around, Bella," Jake smiled. "I can't believe I've lived here for almost a year and have never been to most of the things the city has to offer."

"No problem, Jake, really," I offered a smile back.

Jacob Black and I were born in the same town. A really small town in the Pacific Northwest where my parents both grew up with Jake's dad, Billy.

When I was five, my dad was promoted to Chief of Police in Seattle and then when I was ten we moved to Chicago where he worked for the City of Chicago. Jake's parents, obviously, remained in Forks, but when Jake got accepted to Northwestern's PhD program, he moved out to Chicago.

And my parents tried to match maker every second they could. Every opportunity they got. Like this one.

When Jake casually mentioned to Renee he had never been to Navy Pier, she offered me to show him around.

Jacob Black was the boy you wanted your daughter to marry. Gorgeous, from a good family, smart, nice…everything that I should want. And I should want that, right? I mean, it'd be like a little fairy tale to tell the kiddos one day.

Mommy and Daddy knew each other when they were little because Grandpa Charlie and Grandpa Billy were best friends. And then Mommy lived in a fantasy land for a couple years, where she thought that love could be enough while Daddy was waiting for her.

Well, I don't know if he waited for me. I didn't even think he remembered me, to be honest. We knew each other when we were four and I vaguely remember him and Emmett cutting the hair off my Barbie dolls, but alas it was no epic love.

And even after spending the last few days with him, he wasn't what I wanted. He didn't make my heart sing - as cheesy as it sounds. After almost three months of therapy with Dr. Waters, going on several dates with different guys, and taking up hobbies like painting at the local park center, I was still hung up on Edward Cullen. And I was beginning to really hate myself for it. I was scared I was going to be like 50, never married, and hung up on someone I dated when I was a kid. I didn't want them to find me, half face eaten from one of my seventeen cats, clutching a picture of Edward Cullen to my chest.

Rose told me I never got closure. Dr. Waters told me mourning a relationship could be a lot like mourning the death of a person, especially when you never got to say a proper goodbye. It's officially been two years since we broke up and I hated myself more and more every day for still being hung up on him. The first couple months after we broke up were the worst, though. At least now I can get out of bed and have functional days. In the months after Edward and I split, I basically got up to go to school, work, and eat.

And there were days I didn't want to eat. Not even the homemade peanut butter chocolate chip cookies Renee made which sucked because she hardly makes them anymore.

I was a walking zombie and my parents were ready to set up an intervention.

And then steadily, I got better. And then I hated myself for getting better because I was scared I was getting over him. And then I hated myself even more for hating myself for possibly moving on.

Still kind of do.

"So Bella," Jake and I were currently riding the Ferris Wheel. Kind of boring…well really boring...and went about a half a mile an hour, but you couldn't come to Navy Pier and NOT go on the Ferris Wheel.

"So Jake," I mimicked.

"What ever happened to you and that Cullen guy?"

I froze.

"Shit, sorry!" Jake slapped his forehead. "I didn't mean to blurt that out…"

"No, it's ok," I fake laughed.

"It's just, your mom and dad were real worried about you. I remember your mom used to call my mom all the time and talk about it."

Great.

"What did she say?" I grimaced.

"Oh…" Jake sighed. "I don't know. Just asking how to deal with it, you know? My sister Rebecca's husband cheated on he-"

"Edward never cheated on me," I protested.

"That's not why you broke up?" Jake inquired.

"No, Jake. We broke up because I'm crazy and thought he was cheating and or going to cheat on me, but he never did."

"And you believed him?"

"Is it so unbelievable someone would stay loyal to me?" I was kind of offended.

Jake looked guilty. "Sorry, no. No, of course not. I'm just saying...he's a Hollywood hot-shot. You know those types."

"Yeah, well." I muttered to myself, not really knowing what to say.

"So you broke up because you thought he cheated?"

"We broke up because he was never around. We broke up because, although the constant rumors and sightings and sources speaking with the tabloids about him and Kate might not have been true…back then they got to me. We broke up because I was jealous of him. We broke up because we were at that weird two year mark anyway that people go through. We broke up because we spent every single solitary moment together for almost two years and when we no longer did – I didn't know how to function," I sighed and looked down. "I broke up with him because I was terrified he'd wake up one day and realize he was dating the plainest girl in the world and that he could do better. I beat him to the chase."

"Bella, you're wonderful," Jake placed his finger under my chin and raised my head to meet his eyes.

"Jake, you don't have to-," I began to protest.

"I'm not doing anything Bella." Jake insisted sternly. "You may have broken up with him, but he did nothing to stop you. He loses."

"He tried," I defended. He had tried to stop me, but I don't think either one of our pride's could step aside.

"He didn't try hard enough," Jake scoffed. "Holy shit, Bella, if you were my girl I would've searched the Seven Seas to get you back."

I laughed uncomfortably. Being the center of attention is not something I enjoyed and getting compliments made me flush crimson.

"You're sweet, Jake," I smiled.

He smiled back.

By this time the Ferris Wheel was slowly approaching a stop and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Sorry for all this heavy stuff, Jake."

"Sorry for bringing it up." He shrugged sheepishly.

"Hey, if you promise never to bring up Edward Cullen again, I'll buy you a slice of pizza?" I compromised as we were walking back to the main building.

"Deal."

"Coming up at 4 o'clock, new information on the Lindsay Lohan drug bust, an in depth interview with Marissa from 'The Bachelorette', and exclusive NEW information about Edward and Kate's romantic Carribean getaway! Only here on -."

"They have to play this shit while I'm watching the news?" my father huffed in frustration.

"It's a commercial for one of the gossip shows, dad," I offered.

I just rolled my eyes and continued writing my paper for my English Literature class. The joy of not graduating on time came summer school. So while everyone was enjoying the beach and sun in the middle of July, I was inside watching the news with my dad. It was okay because I had school in the morning and worked most evenings allowing virtually no time to think about Edward Cullen.

Plus, I never tanned, anyway.

"Oh Bella?" Renee pranced into the living room.

"Yes?"

"I spoke with Mrs. Black today, honey. She said Jake has been talking about you non-stop!" Renee clasped her hands together like this was the best piece of information she'd ever received.

"He's a nice boy, Bells," my traitor father agreed.

"Jake is really nice," I agreed and looked at two hopeful faces. "And he'll make some girl a great husband one day."

"Bella…maybe you should give it a chance. You did that whole 'can't live without you thing' and it didn't work out, maybe it's best to just…"

"Settle?" I finished for my father incredulously.

"Not settle…" he looked at my mother for help.

"Bella, what we mean is, maybe through time you'll learn to love Jake. Maybe what you had with Edward wasn't love, maybe it was infatuation?"

"It was love," I protested vehemently.

"And look at where that got you," my dad huffed.

"Charlie…" Renee warned him.

"No, dad's right. Love fucked me over."

"Isabella Marie, language!"

"Sorry, mom."

Renee nodded her head in acceptance before continuing. "All I'm saying is that sometimes it's nice to be friends with someone first. This is real life, honey. Not a fairy tale...you know...I get it. I know what it's like to be a girl and a hopeless romantic, but you live and learn and move on."

"So you're saying you're still not a hopeless romantic?" Charlie teased, taking a sip of his beer.

"Charlie, please," Renee rolled her eyes. "All I am saying is that when you're our age, other things become more important. You need to create a kind of...partnership, if you will."

"I can't believe you're telling me to settle!" I grabbed my things from where I was seated on the couch and walked out of them room, effectively ending our conversation.

"Hey Jake, it's Bella," I breathed into the phone.

"Hey Bella. I was just thinking about you!"

"You were?" I asked in surprise.

"Yep. I was telling my roommate, Paul about last week when you almost beat the shit out of that guy for stealing your parking space and I had to restrain you," he chuckled into the phone.

"Oh. Haha," Fuck I was lame.

"So what do I owe the pleasure?" Jake asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my friend Jessica's party. With me. Tomorrow night."

"Oh…uh, ye-yeah. That would be good. Great!" Jake squeaked into the phone.

"Great. Pick me up at nine?"

"Absolutely." I could hear him grinning into the phone.

"Perfect. See you tomorrow," I confirmed. As I was pressing the end button, I could see movement in the corner of my eye.

"Who are you seeing tomorrow?" Renee stuck her head in the door.

Ugh, I need my own place. With, like, prison bars on the windows and doors to prevent eavesdroppers like my mother.

"Jake," I put on a fake smile.

"But everywhere is closed? Who goes sight seeing at night?" she scrunched up her nose.

"You know, mom. I've decided to take your advice. I think I'll give Jake a shot."

"Really?" Her entire face lit up.

"Yeah. I mean, he's a lot better than most of the losers from around here, anyway."

"Oh, this is wonderful!" she rushed into my room and hugged me. "He really adores you, Bella."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Finally Bella brings a date! We were beginning to get a little worried there, Swan," Mike Newton bellowed as he greeted us at the door. I just roll my eyes. He only says that because, even though he's dating one of my closest friends, he'd still drop everything to get into my pants.

"Uh, Jake Black, this is Mike Newton," I roll my eyes as I introduce the two. "Mike is dating my friend, Jessica."

"Nice to meet you," Jake says as the two shook hands.

Everyone loved Jake. I mean, they really loved him. All of my friends probably like him better than me. I remember one point during the night, Angela and Jessica cornered me and basically threatened to cut off my hoohah if I didn't make things official with Mr. Wonderful.

"Bella," Jessica sauntered. "Seriously. Jake is perfect and the way he looks at you…"

"Yeah, Bella. God, I think I'd be pregnant if Ben ever looked at me like that." Angela cooed dreamily.

"He's nice, but…"

"But what?" Jessica asked, hands on her hips. "He's too nice? He's too pretty? He has just a six pack, not an eight pack?"

"Actually, I think he does have an eight pack," I muttered to myself, remembering seeing him lift up his shirt to wipe his brow during this hot July heat.

Two mouths just hung open.

"Irregardless, Isabella Marie," Jessica huffed. "He loves you and you're gonna have cute, smart, brown eyed babies."

"Jess, irregardless isn't a word," I corrected. "Plus...he doesn't love me. He hardly knows me."

"Bella, have you ever had a boyfriend before?" Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Uh, yeah I have," I replied.

"Yeah, that jerk who broke your heart in London, right?" Angela asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, but there's more to-"

Jessica cut me off. "Listen, you're twenty three, about to be twenty four and you're inexperienced with this whole love thing…just give Jake a chance."

Oh, Jess…how wrong you are.

"So, I'm assuming no one knows you dated Cullen?" Jake whispered in my ear as he escorted me out of the apartment.

"How'd you guess?"

"Well, my first inkling was when I walked into Jessica's room to use her bathroom and was nearly assaulted by the Edward Cullen cardboard cut out in her room. I figured friends didn't support the ex-boyfriend of other friends," Jake chuckled quietly while holding the door open for me.

"Oh my God, does she really have one?" I gasped.

"Yep, I thought it was a person and started to apologize for nearly running into it," Jake laughed.

"Oh God," I clutched my head in my hands. "No, no one knows. I wanted to start my life over. I figured paths would never cross considering most of my friends stopped talking to me when I broke up with him, anyway." I spat bitterly.

"All of them?"

"Well, I have Rose. But she was my friend first. All of my friends for those two years were either his family, friends he had first, or mutual friends we met together. I understand it, though. Who would you rather remain friends with after a split? Britney or K-Fed?"

"Britney's kind of crazy and Kevin has all the money," Jake laughed. "But I get your point."

"It's ok. Rose, really, is my only true friend. I love Jess and Ang to death, but I feel like they'd use my past to get connected if they ever found out. If that makes sense."

"But, you two haven't spoken, right?"

"Nope, but never under estimate the power of a fan girl," I chuckled.

It was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "Bella, I really like you."

I realized now we were parked in front of my house and he had shut the engine off. I momentarily looked to see if my parents were peeking through the windows, but they weren't. They trusted Jake and I'm sure at this point, they would've welcomed dry humping in the driveway.

"Thanks, Jake. I really like you, too."

"No, Bella. I like you," he ran his hand over his face. "This sounds so-so third grade-ish, but ugh. I think about you a lot. I mean, for the last two months, I've seen you practically every day and I know you think of me as a friend or someone your mom stuck on you...but I want to be more. Jesus, Bella. You're beautiful – so fucking beautiful…smart, funny, nice and I see you're hurt, but sometimes when you're with me I can see a glimpse of who you used to be."

"Jake…"

"Please give me a chance, Bella. Please let me show you a life you deserve. I want to take care of you…"

"Bella, I want to take care of you. This is why I'm doing this!" Edward yelled. We were in his suite at the Four Seasons Miami in another one of our fights, but at least this was an in person fight.

I just scoffed.

"You don't believe me?" He shook my shoulders. Not roughly, because he'd never hurt me, but rough enough to get my attention.

"You want to take care of me?" I repeated to him.

"You think that getting harassed by the Paparazzi, having my life broadcast all over the internet, getting scrutinized for everything…is fun? If I could take care of us and future children as an off Broadway actor, I would, but this is our big break, baby. And once the series is over, I won't have to pretend to be someone I'm not."

"Our big break? No, it's your big break and just because fame and fortune isn't sunshine and rainbows doesn't give you the right to use me as a crutch."

"What? I'm not using you-,"

"Yes you are! Oh my life is so horrible! I'm making millions of dollars and making out with hot chicks, but the Paparazzi suck and I'm away from my family and boo hoo hoo, but Bella I'm doing this for you, baby!"

"What has gotten into you?"

"Do you even miss me when you're gone?"

"How the fuck can you ask me that?" at this point he had me trapped between him and the wall, both hands on either side of my face.

"I call and it goes straight to voice-mail. I text and I get a response hours later, if I'm lucky. You tell me our relationship has to be a secret because you don't want me to get harassed, but I'm not stupid, Edward."

"Ok, Bella, please let me know where you're going with this," he mocked.

"You're cheating on me," I spat.

"You're out of your fucking mind," he chuckled darkly to himself. "You are really crazy, you know that?"

"I'm crazy, I'm nuts, I'm insecure, I'm out of my mind," I repeated sarcastically. "That's not a denial or a confirmation, though, Edward."

I moved to get away from him, and possibly throw a shoe at his head, but he stopped me from moving.

"Ok, how about this?" He took my head in his hands and spoke slowly. "I. Am. Not. Cheating. On. You."

"Then why are we keeping our relationship a secret?" I arched a brow.

"Let's set up a press conference tomorrow, shall we? I'll announce you're my girl and we've been together for two years and I've *gasp* fucked you in more positions than is possible and let's see how much you enjoy your anonymity now. When I say I'm doing this for us, I mean it, Bella. I'm doing it so that you can have the anonymity that I lost."

"So we have to live our life in secret then?"

"Look, I'm trying to build a name for myself-,"

"And having a girlfriend doesn't add into the mix," I finished for him.

"Technically speaking, yes."

I felt like I was slapped in the face.

"Unless, of course, you're dating Kate Denali," I confirmed and was met with silence.

"Bella, look. This is as new to you as is it to me. James explained-,"

"Fuck James!"

"James explained," he repeated before continuing. "The majority of my fans wouldn't take well to me having a girlfriend. Period. It's a little better if they think I'm with Kate, though, because she also has a very big fan base. I can't risk people finding out all of your information on some…some search engine or something and hurting you or saying things to you…"

"So you're going to do it, then?"

"I…don't know. It's something I wanted to discuss with you. This is why I brought it up, I didn't expect you to like it, but you're seriously blowing this out of proportion…"

"Blowing this out of proportion?" I yelled. "You want to discuss it, then? Well, here it is. Here's our discussion: not on your fucking life will I sit around and watch you pretend to date another girl. At least off screen."

"Bella…"

"No!" I held my hand up in protest. "What if the roles were reversed? I was 'spotted' holding hands with some guy at a concert or 'canoodling' on set? Just to further my career? News Flash, Edward, you got the part! There's, what? Like…six more movies? You're set!"

"This isn't about being set, Bella. This is about my career. I don't want to be known as Dave Baxter forever! The movies will be over by the time I'm 30, ok? I don't want to be an IT Boy who faded into obscurity"

"So you want a full blown movie career, then?"

"I do."

"And you want it more than you want me." It wasn't a question.

"Of course not," he protested, but I held my hand up again.

"What about the things I want, Edward? Yes, I might be going through a bit of a quarter – life crisis, but holy shit, I want things for myself, too. I want to go back to school and get a career of my own…or wait? Because it's not a high profile career it's not important?"

"Bella, I want those things for you, too. I've asked you a million times to transfer down here and enroll back in school."

"They don't have the program I'm interested in here," I threw my hands up. "I've told you this, Edward. And what happens when you fly off to, like, Canada to film a movie in between and I'm stuck in yet another state alone by myself?"

"I won't leave."

"That's what you said last time."

His face twisted and I almost felt bad. Almost.

"Look, it's April. The movie will come out in two months and I'll get 10 percent of what the movie made. Apparently, it has a big fan base, so they're projecting it to do over 100-million. Give me two months and we'll buy out our lease, you'll come down here and stay with me…"

"Stay with you? Doing what? Living a life of leisure? Being unemployed and uneducated? Uh, I believe they call that a leach and or a Gold Digger, Edward," I spat. "Oh and what happens when the Papparrazi catch us together and run stories about you cheating on America's Sweetheart and your reputation gets tarnished? Plus if I were here, you couldn't fuck both of your girlfriends at the same time."

"You need therapy or something," he screamed. "I'm not fucking Kate Denali … it's a business arrangement and that's it."

"Whatever. I've seen the Paparazzi pics of you two getting cozy on set."

"Cozy on set? It's called acting, Bella. You know, you come to me with problems and I try and find a solution for them…"he muttered to himself.

"A solution that is in your best interest, Edward! I want to move home. So bad, but I know you'd never come with me because it doesn't fit into your plan anymore."

"Bella," he grabbed my wrist to steady me. "I can't go from starring in films to go back to theater."

"Didn't you just say if you could support us doing theater you would?"

"It's just not an option, anymore, Bella," he was still grabbing onto my wrist and I violently pulled it back.

"Do your thing then. Go be Mr. Times 100, fuck Kate Denali under the stars in Hawaii, whatever. I don't care."

I began scattering around the room collecting my things.

"Get the fuck off this Kate Denali thing Bella. I would hope after two years you'd believe me. It's just a PR stunt the movie studio is trying to start."

He reached out to grab me, but I slapped his face in defiance.

"It's hilarious. There's no one I want more than you, Bella and I would never risk what we have for anything in the world. Looking at other girls makes me sick to my stomach and you're picking a huge fight because you think I'm cheating on you?" He screamed at me, rubbing his face where I hit him.

"I don't know what to think anymore. Maybe it's cause I'm not in the business, but seriously? I don't believe you'd pretend to date Kate if it weren't true."

I was tossing things into my suitcase now, not bothering to fold anything or even place it in there neatly.

"That's rich, Bella."

"I know the Edward Cullen I met two years ago would never stray," I stopped what I was doing to look at him. "This Edward Cullen? I have no idea who the fuck he is. You've changed. Fame and money have changed you and you're not the same person I fell in love with."

"If you leave me, then I'll know you never really loved me," he spat back from behind me, but I ignored him.

"If you leave…if you leave me, it means you never supported me. That the last two years were a lie." He egged on.

I turned around. "And if you believe I never loved you, then maybe the last two years WERE a lie."

"Maybe they were."

"I can't believe you just said that."

"And I can't believe you run off when there's a bump in the road. You know, most girls would be understanding."

I snorted.

"Most girls would not be understanding," I laughed. "In all due time, you'll laugh about this with Kate. Or Britney, Leighton, whoever you end up with. You'll all laugh about that stupid, stupid girl who risked everything to be with you and was slowly pushed out like yesterday's trash."

"Why the fuck are you so over dramatic? What the fuck happened to the Bella I once knew? I'm trying to make this…us…work. I want you to move down here. I want you around! If I were straying, why would I want you around? If I were pushing you out of my life…why would I want you to move down here? Regardless of what you think, every decision I make is because of you and what's best for you! I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I'm living for you, Bella Swan. You know, I could explain this all until I'm blue in the face and we would just continue to go in circles. I understand that you're lost and lonely and angry, but I'm trying to make you see the big picture. Right now things suck, I understand that and I wish they didn't, but in a year or two's time…we'll settle down. I'll buy you the house you want, the car you want…WHATEVER you want, Bella."

"I don't want that shit, Edward. I'd trade anything for more time with you…and you know what? I did do that once and look where it got me," I replied. "Actions speak louder than words."

"You know…I do try and you just don't appreciate anything I do for you!" He yelled at me.

"Oh, you are one to talk, Edward Cullen."

"How did we end up like this?" He asked quietly after a moment of silence.

"I don't know." I replied.

Silence.

"It doesn't matter where you are in the world, Edward. I'll always be the girl you left behind in California," I said after some more silence.

"What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you behind!"

"You left me behind when you agreed to this PR slated romance with Kate!"

"I haven't agreed to anything. I told you I wanted to talk to you about it," he defended. "See…this? This! You never listen to me and always jump to your own conclusions."

"The answer will always be no, Edward. And one day you'll realize that 'no' isn't worth risking your career for. So, I'm saving us both the time and trouble. I'm moving back to Chicago. I'll have everything moved out of the apartment by the end of the week."

"Don't fucking leave, Bella." He was right behind me and moved his arm forward to grab my full, now fully zipped bag.

"Don't fucking touch that bag," I screamed at him.

"If you leave…if you walk out that door then it's over!" Edward roared.

"It's been over. It's been over since you moved down here and put everything in your life over me," I spat in his face. "Look on the bright side. You can fuck Kate Denali and not feel guilty about it anymore."

"Maybe this is for the best then, Bella. I can't be with someone who never truly ever loved me or supported me."

"Fuck you, if you don't think I ever loved you then you don't know what love is."

He grabbed my hand to stop me, but I used all my force and pushed him, causing him to fumble backwards. I yanked the suite door open and threw myself out the door. I knew it was over for good.

"I don't need to be taken care of Jake," I swallowed thickly coming out of my memory.

"I'm not talking monetarily," he said. "I mean, you know, like emotional support. I heard it's all the rage with the young kids."

I chuckled. "It's nice to have a good friend like you."

He just sighed.

"Date me."

"What?"

"Be with me. I want to hold your hand when we go out in public and have you wear my shirt and have you drag me to sappy love story movies and not tell anyone when I tear up when the two main characters get together."

I just laughed. And it felt good to laugh. In fact, I was beginning to realize that I felt better than I had in the last couple of years in just a few months time and I knew Jake was responsible for that.

Maybe I could grow to love him. Now that I'm not nineteen anymore, maybe I'll begin to realize that love is about having a partnership and not this undying, yearning for someone. Love isn't about being co-dependent. Love isn't about spending every waking moment together and freaking out when that is ripped apart.

Maybe we get more than one soul mate or true love. Maybe what I had with Edward was a way for me to make up for it in the future. And maybe now that I know I did everything to get Edward back…calling, texting, emailing, flying out to see him, contacting his family…didn't work, maybe I can finally move on with someone else.

Ew. Maybe Renee was right!

"Jake, we barely know each other. I made the mistake once of meeting someone and within a short amount of time becoming so entirely dependent on them I forgot where they ended and I began," I admitted. "I like you. A lot. You've made me laugh again and I appreciate that. I'd like to start off slow, though. And I need to be upfront when I tell you I'm not over Edward entirely. While I don't feel like I'm going to die without him anymore, I still have feelings that may never go away and I want you to know that."

"Bella, I know that."

"I just don't want to have a fight with you and have you be like 'Oh, is this because of Edward?'"

"Is that what he used to do?"

"NO, of course not. There was no one before him," I shrugged.

"Bella, you're willing to give me a shot, right?" Jake inquired.

I nodded my head.

"You won't regret it," he leaned over and pressed a small kiss to my cheek.

Here's hoping he's right.

Thank you for reading and please review! :)